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  • Contemplating Suicide

    How do I win this battle?
    Last edited by Bint Muaawiya; 10-05-18, 07:30 PM.

  • #2
    I'm sorry to hear of your situation sister. I pray Allaah the Most Merciful, the Most Loving alleviates your distresses and makes things easy for you.

    It is tough raising a child with special needs. My son is Autistic and he's 6. So I can understand the frustration (to some extent, as no two Autistic children are ever the same).

    Can you distance yourself from your ex, so he has no impact/communication with you and you don't know what he gets up to? Divorce is always difficult - but going no contact and completely cutting yourself away from that person, always helps. This way it's a sort of "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing.

    As for your habits which you've acquired due to your depression. It's so easy to get lost in simple actions which we think may numb the pain, but remember and you know this better than anyone sister - it's always temporary. Once you come to your senses then that hurt will resurface. So my advice would be - use a different coping mechanism. Get rid of the alcohol, drugs, everything that is haraam and find something else which will keep you stimulated and divert your attention. Can you do something like join the gym or maybe gardening? Or running?

    As for your son - he's four. Can you get any paediatric assistance? Any form of therapy? I'm not sure which country you're in, but in the UK you really have to bug the professionals to do something otherwise you're lost in the system.

    Make du'aa, and do not even contemplate suicide. When a person is contemplating suicide, they are thinking of short term relief. Not long term. You need to think of your Akhira, and you need to think of your little boy too. No one can give him a mother's love like you do.

    PM me if you want to talk privately In Sha Allaah.
    Last edited by Indefinable; 10-05-18, 07:40 PM.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
      How do I win this battle?
      Arm yourself with Taqwa. The way to achieve that is by leaving haraam and constantly being in remembrance of Allaah subhanahu wa ta'alaa.

      Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator.”

      Source: Madarij As-Salikeen

      Soften your heart. Stop sinning and focus on being strong for the sake of your son. Don't despair.

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      • #4
        what makes you want to commit suicide?

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        • #5
          Along with the advice you're getting here, you should strongly consider proper Islamic counselling too.
          Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

          How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

          Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

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          • #6
            Whats going on in your life that you think suicide is the option?

            I can only ever understand feeling suicidal if a family member you have loved more than anything in the world passes away but even then, many people go through with it and somehow manage to carry on with life.

            Other than that I've never understood the need for suicide.

            Depression - yeah I've had it too but there is always help out there for you, always exercise every option. Pray, take anti-depressants, talk to family or friends, take up a hobby, distract yourself, try meditating, go on holiday, get away from it all. Different things work for different folks, for me simply going for a walk everyday really helped me deal with my depression.

            Lost your job/can't get a job/no money - be patient and keep trying, you'll get it eventually. there are many jobs/options out there.

            Failed in life - so what? Failures happen to the best of us and are meant to happen.

            Being bullied - fight back, talk to someone, leave your school/work place or whatever environment the bullying is happening in, get the police involved, heck pay someone to beat the bullies up for you if you have to.

            In debt - ask people to help pay your debt, sell stuff, take a second job or if the absolute worst should happen - let it happen. You'll lose your house and all your possessions. So what? Its not a nice thing to happen and its embarrassing for a while but it happens to millions of people every day and eventually they find their feet again. Better to lose your house than lose your life.

            Embarrassment/shame - the typical Asian stuff basically, you did something wrong or embarrassing and people are mocking/shaming/disowning you for it - it does get better. Move away from the area/people and let the hype die down. Then start afresh or go back when they apologies.

            The absolute worst one of them all:
            I broke up with my spouse or best friend or the love of my life married someone else - seriously? what the hell is wrong with you? is your life worth so little that you are going to kill yourself over someone else? smdh get some perspective. I know its not a nice feeling but COME ON! you get over it, you move on with your life, you find another spouse or friend. No person is worth you taking your life.


            If none of this helps you, try this one method my psychologist did once. Simply imagine that the person you loved most in the world told you that they were feeling suicidal. How would you react/feel? And what would your advice be to them?

            Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and it doesn't affect the person it happens to but the people you leave behind. Your suffering will be over but theirs will never end until the day they pass away. Do you want that for your parents and siblings (and children if you have any)? Do you want them to possibly contemplate suicide themselves some day? Because statistics show that people are twice as likely to commit suicide if they lost a loved one to suicide. Life is a struggle but you just have to solider on just like all our beloved Prophets did. It'll all be over some day soon anyway...

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            • #7
              I don't know what you are going through, but suicide is not a solution. Whatever hardship you are going through in this dunya, is nothing compared to Jahannam.

              May Allah ease your hardship


              Narrated Abu Huraira-: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "He who commits suicide by throttling shall keep on throttling himself in the Hell Fire (forever) and he who commits suicide by stabbing himself shall keep on stabbing himself in the Hell-Fire." (Sahih al-Bukhari )
              39:37-38 Isn't Allah sufficient for His servant ? And [yet], they threaten you with those [they worship] other than Him. And whoever Allah leaves astray - for him there is no guide. And whoever Allah guides - for him there is no misguidance. Isn't Allah Exalted in Might and Owner of Retribution?

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              • #8
                Never lose hope. Perhaps easiness in your path is right around the corner? Maybe the next person you speak to or visit changes your life? Trust in Allah, as you won't be the first to have these thoughts or the last sadly.

                Ultimately don't give up. Inshallah things will improve.

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                • #9
                  I hope you are ok sister

                  With difficulty will come ease and it's what we
                  ​​​​​are taught, Allah does not break his promise so rely on him for Peace

                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                  • #10
                    Sister, I will not echo what everyone has already mentioned (and they all started the truth). What I will mention is that you need to be patient and ACCEPT the qadr of Allah SWT. Then your heart will be at peace. The counseling is also a very good idea. Do not let your nafs and shaytaan to trick you! You are much stronger than what Allah SWT is testing you with... remember that He SWT will only test you with what you can bear. So please make dua, pray, make Quran and do not let Ramadan pass you by while you are in this mindset. Be strong, may Allah keep you steadfast!!! Ameen :)
                    الحق لا يعرف بالرجال، اعرف الحق تعرف رجاله

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                    • #11
                      PM me if you ever need anyone to talk to or just vent or anything like that. I honestly don't know your situation as I don't spend much time on here but I'm happy to provide a listening ear and advice. You most likely feel this way because life has dealt you a crappy hand and you've endured so many difficulties that you feel that you can't go on like this and your life is over. It isn't over; it's just very different from what you imagined or hoped it would be and adjusting to the "new normal" doesn't seem feasible. Maybe you feel that things simply can't continue the way they are and maybe you're right, but what that means is something in your life has to change, not that it has to end.

                      If there's a special needs child in the picture (as Indefinable suggests), then I think you could benefit from respite. Contact an advocacy organisation or support group and they should point you in the right direction as to what kind of support is available and what you need to say to social services to make them do their job in providing care assistants. I know from personal experience that social care services try to fob you off first, so you need to know which strings to pull to get things going and I know you hate that because you've fought for long enough and don't have much fight left in you, but that's why I'm saying to get in touch with organisations that can help you navigate through that because they've been through this themselves. You shouldn't have to sort out every detail on your own. The help is out there but you have to take the first step to accessing it.

                      I know you will not like me saying this, but Allah (swt) does not burden us with more than we can bear- the only one trying to convince you otherwise is the waswasa of shaytan. I agree with reading Ibn ul Qayyim, he's brilliant and can help with the tawakkul side of things.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                      • #12
                        How can you even contemplate suicide? No matter how big your problems in life, you should never contemplate suicide.
                        Suicide is not a way out sister, when you die, you enter the akirah. Door of repentance is closed, good deeds are stopped (except in some cases).

                        You increase your chances of punishment while your soul is being taken, punishment of the grave, punishment on the day of judgement and punishment in jahannam.

                        Not a way out sister, seriously. Death of the body isn't the end of you, rather it's the beginning of a new life.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
                          How do I win this battle?
                          Do not kill yourself.

                          A Man killed himself today in Mecca - the holiest of places - by
                          jumping of the 3rd floor onto people doing tawaf.

                          Maybe nobody told him that suicide leads to Hellfire ?

                          If you have a mental illness then seek professional help inshallah.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Sfe995 View Post
                            How can you even contemplate suicide? No matter how big your problems in life, you should never contemplate suicide.
                            Suicide is not a way out sister, when you die, you enter the akirah. Door of repentance is closed, good deeds are stopped (except in some cases).

                            You increase your chances of punishment while your soul is being taken, punishment of the grave, punishment on the day of judgement and punishment in jahannam.

                            Not a way out sister, seriously. Death of the body isn't the end of you, rather it's the beginning of a new life.
                            Not everyone can cope with the hardship of life. Most people don't have access to a good support network.


                            As for the sister , i dont know what the issue is because you erased the orginal post.But if it is possible I think you should seek the help of a psychologist.
                            Ya Allah,
                            Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                            "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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                            • #15
                              May Allah swt make it easy on you in these blessed nights of Ramadan. S.a.w. Ameen.

                              In my dua Insha Allah.

                              Seek help from good muslim sisters talk to them.

                              Peace.
                              Jazak Allah Khair For All Your Duas.

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