Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Help, im being forced to marry in pakistan.

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Ask them in a serious and stern manner for a serious talk.

    And tell them emphatically that you are not agreeing to this marriage.

    Call your step mother's sister and also clarify the matter to her. If possible inform the one they want you to get married to also that you are not marrying her.

    If it gets too bad, leave the house. You must have some friends you can stop by for some time.

    The most important thing is not to give in and take action right now. You're extremely likely to regret not taking action right now for your whole life.

    If it gets to it, involve the police. Don't hesitate.

    And beat up? Dude, you're 21. Seriously. If they're gonna beat you up for that then just get the hell out of that house and find your own place.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

    Comment


    • #17
      Don't go, you have to keep telling them. You are in the UK , can't believe forced marriages still take place.

      Start looking for a job and try to move out (for your sanity and independence), parents like this need time to understand (or they never do) but living like this will only make you lose more respect.

      You have to show your parents you are responsible, independent and decisive. Your parents know you are weak, but as soon as they see you have what it takes to be a man, they won't have the courage to mess around like this.

      No one can force you to go the airport. What disgusting parent beats their child up like this, they make me so sick. Evil tyrants, tell them to stay in Pakistan and if they come back they'll get arrested here.

      lol ok don't, they're your parents but I feel like saying that to them

      Absolute disgrace
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

      Comment


      • #18
        If they beat you up, you know what's gonna happen right

        they will beat your lover up too

        seriously, I am not even joking about this, it is a possibility, I have heard of sisters being pushed down the stairs while pregnant

        DISGRACEFUL

        SHOCKING

        This should be enough for you to push yourself and stop relying on them
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

          Op is a disgrace is he can't man up,

          A 21 year old man can't stand up for himself.

          Sorry no sympathy for cowardice
          His PARENTS are an utter disgrace

          How dare they play with their own child's life, they are responsible for how they raised him up- luckily for them he didn't become a thug of some sort, which is worse than being mollycoddled

          Disgusting beings, they are dangerous people that technically should be locked up, an embarrassment for all muslims and these are the muslims that confuse others about forced marriages which is OBVIOUSLY NOT permissible

          These types of people always make islam look like an evil religion
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • #20
            O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

              His PARENTS are an utter disgrace

              How dare they play with their own child's life, they are responsible for how they raised him up- luckily for them he didn't become a thug of some sort, which is worse than being mollycoddled

              Disgusting beings, they are dangerous people that technically should be locked up, an embarrassment for all muslims and these are the muslims that confuse others about forced marriages which is OBVIOUSLY NOT permissible

              These types of people always make islam look like an evil religion
              What's this outburst About?

              Who in this forum said forced marriage is allowed

              OP is the biggest disgrace here not his parents

              And although I'm not condoning forced marriage in any way, parents tend to take their kids back home or want to get their kids married to back home, at least for the boys, especially when they have gone of track in the hope that they will get their act together.

              Lastly calling parents disgusting beings for forcing someone into marriage shows you have a lack of Adab.

              Op needs to Man up and stand up for his own rights instead of whining like a man-baby,

              Allah عز و جل made him a MAN



              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


              • #22
                Assalamo a alaikum op reminds me of my self mashALLAH i try to listen to everything my parents say and its not becuase iam weak???? MashALLAH. My dad was trying to get me married to a girl but i found out that she had a bad temper and used to break things when she got angry . So i told my mom i dont want to marry her so she told my dad .Which worked and i didn't get married to her mAshALLAH.Maybe you should try that op. Dont think op is that bad prob saying hes gonna get beat up as a figure of speech meaning he'll be in trouble . The devil wont leave any of us alone . Op could be a hard guy out in the world though only soft with his parents . Better then some one whose disrespectful and evil to his parents but Freezes when Trouble hits him out in the real world. legs shaking when the time comes always wanting the fight to just end when it starts because of the fear in his heart . The strength of ones heart chipped away by their sins always talking loud in unnecessary confrontations but knowing that their hearts will fail them when the time will come . But to close to Shaytan to give up on their bad deeds or to refrom themselves . No patience and steadfastness when a back breaking trial comes one's way . Willingness to commit suicide , thinking that one's Rab is not just Or that one's trial is disproportionate . One should always lower the wing of humility to ones parents a submissive wing of humility as it says in the QURAN. Not saying that Ops parents have a right to force him to get married but just saying . May ALLAH give us all the ability to be good to our parents

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

                  What's this outburst About?

                  Who in this forum said forced marriage is allowed

                  OP is the biggest disgrace here not his parents

                  And although I'm not condoning forced marriage in any way, parents tend to take their kids back home or want to get their kids married to back home, at least for the boys, especially when they have gone of track in the hope that they will get their act together.

                  Lastly calling parents disgusting beings for forcing someone into marriage shows you have a lack of Adab.

                  Op needs to Man up and stand up for his own rights instead of whining like a man-baby,

                  Allah ÚÒ æ Ìá made him a MAN




                  Did I offend you? if so, How? *smh

                  Lets make it clear, just because someone is a parent doesn't mean they are flawless, parents can sin if they oppress their child. Being a parent doesn't mean you are off the hook and free to do what you want with your kids. Plenty of parents take advantage of this unfortunately. Saying that, as children we should always respect them no matter what (see above posts quoting Quran)

                  I didn't even say anything to you but it looks like you're taking it personally. It was just a comment to say that the boy is not the disgrace here.

                  All I said is his parents are disgusting IF they are forcing him or BEATING him (this is what i'm getting from the original post).

                  This doesn't mean he should repay them the same. We should always respect our parents but when injustice is taking place we are allowed to do something about it and not just suffer, In this case, the brother can move out as he is at that age. He doesn't need a guardian.

                  Then you go on to justify parents taking their bad and corrupted boys abroad in the hopes of 'fixing' them, what kind of logic is that. You don't 'fix' your sons by getting them married to a poor innocent girl.

                  I completely disagree with you and people who think it's fine to deceive another man's daughter, that is pure evil and selfish. You wouldn't like it if your son got married to a messed up girl whose parents didn't tell you about it. So please, do not even justify such a thing.

                  If your child needs 'fixing' then you support them or let them sort it out, don't get others involved, especially through marriage. Now, if you think that lacks adhab, well, it says more about you than it says about me because I would hate anyone's daughter to end up with a loser whose mummy and daddy couldn't raise him up properly and have instead thrown him to marriage.

                  It's very easy to tell someone to man up without giving them some practical suggestions. You can't man up in one night.

                  I really hope that you understand this message and reply without any insults brother. You are always ready to criticise everyone. It's very rude, just because I don't agree with you.
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Ummah Forums,

                    Even after this long, some Individuals just have no manners and go of on rants

                    Never mind
                    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                      Ummah Forums,

                      Even after this long, some Individuals just have no manners and go of on rants

                      Never mind
                      If you had manners, you could have apologised or agreed to disagree. Why be rude about it? There is no need for that. We don't have to become nemesis just because we have different opinions.

                      Instead you made this comment, obviously directed towards me. FYI my last comment was not even a rant, you are seeing things that aren't there.

                      We're both adults, so please, just apologise or agree to disagree. It will not kill you, it will make you a man, something you advocate so much.

                      It doesn't always have to be like this, petty issues that don't get solved and only get dragged to disliking fellow uf members. This is what happens on UF, it would be so much easier to clear up misunderstandings without being offensive. I promise, you will not become a wuss if you do.

                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                        Ummah Forums,

                        Even after this long, some Individuals just have no manners and go of on rants

                        Never mind
                        How ironic.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                          How ironic.
                          LOL,
                          I can't even get annoyed that you beat me to it.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            May Allah swt make your matter easy for you.S.a.w. Ameen.

                            Make dua after your prayers about this with a desperate sincere heart and trust and our lord will help you.

                            Look forward to what is best for you.

                            Peace.
                            Jazak Allah Khair For All Your Duas.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by atiqahmed746 View Post
                              SO IM A 21 YEAR OLD BOY LIVING IN UK. MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO MARRY IN PAKISTAN. THEY ARE GETTING ME MARRIED TO MY STEP MUMS SISTER WHO IS SAME AGE AS ME. THEY ASKED ME AND I DIDNT AGREE. NEXT THING I KNOW THEY ARE ARRANGING DATES. THEY BOOKED MY TICKETS AND ARE GOING IN 2 WEEKS. I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE AND I TOLD MY PARENTS ABOUT IT AND THE STILL DIDNT AGREE. I WANNA GET MARRRIED IN UK BUT IM TOO SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING AGAIN TO PARENTS INCASE I GET BEAT UP.
                              please advise me what to do. i dont wanna report them or anything because they are my parents and i love them. but i dont wanna marry in pakistan. i wanna marry the person i love in uk :( shes a good muslim girl. i feel like a girl writing this :/

                              He isnt really cowarding away from standing up to his parents. I mean, he has spoken to them about it as he said in his first post:


                              "IM TOO SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING AGAIN TO PARENTS INCASE I GET BEAT UP."


                              So he has already spoken to them about it, presumably to tell them he doesn't want to marry the girl from Pakistan. He also knows that if he speaks to his parents about this again there will be a probability that they will get violent with him. For all we know his dad could be a boxer or something, maybe his dad would be able to beat all of us up, and the brother has good reason to fear his farther. The point is that the brother feels trapped, he doesn't think speaking to his parents is going to help, and the only solution he can think of that might work is probably speaking to authorities which would get his parents into trouble, and out of respect and love of his parents he doesn't want to cause them any harm.


                              "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.

                              24. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young"

                              [al-Isra 17:23-24]


                              This brother should be praised for the love and respect that he is giving his parents. He shouldn't be looked down upon and belittled. Yes it is wrong for parents to force their child to marry someone, and he has a right to refuse, but still he is showing them respect and protecting them from getting into trouble with authorities.


                              To give an answer to the problem you would need to know more information about the situation. The best option would be to speak with an imam or an elder who knows more about these things and also speak to a "forced marriage prevention agency" you can speak to them anonymously if you want to just get some advice and protect your parents from getting into trouble. I know someone in the UK who had the same problem and they reported it to the authorities and the authorities didn't tell the parents. The authorities did things like refuse to grant the Pakistani person a visa and in the end the marriage ended in divorce, without the guy having consummated the marriage so it worked out well in the end. The person who was forced into the marriage made lots of dua and Allah solved the problem.


                              Try praying Tahajjud (if you dont already) and fast Mondays and Thursdays (if you dont already) and make lots of dua, nothing can happen without the permission of Allah.


                              May Allah ease your affairs akhi. Ameen

                              Last edited by wanderer1; 14-03-18, 08:41 AM.
                              www.puremuslimmatch.com

                              *The Free Marriage Agency for practising Muslims*

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Salam, arranged marriage is haram, speak to your parents about it and explain why you can’t marry this sister also leave the gf you’re with now it’s unacceptable
                                I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                                Guide me on your path to your janna,
                                Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                                :love:Allah:love:

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X