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  • Fundamentals of a happy marriage

    Faith: The most basic and essential attribute of a Muslim marriage is the common faith that binds the couple.

    Since Islam is a way of life and not just a religion confined to weekly worship it becomes an integral part of a Muslim’s life. The frame of reference shared by the couple eases communication and sharing of values which is not possible in an interfaith marriage. It is highly recommended that faith play an important role in the developing a loving relationship.

    For example, as the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, that when a husband feeds his wife, he gets a reward for this act and Allah increases the bond of love between them. So when we love each other for the sake of Allah WE ACTUALLY INCREASE OUR FAITH.

    Forgiving: When the Prophet Muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him) asked his Companions ‘do you wish that Allah should forgive you’they said, of course O Prophet of Allah. He responded, ’then forgive each other’.

    One of the main components of a happy marriage is that the spouses are able to forgive, that they do not hold grudges or act judgmental towards each other. It is expected that when we live with someone, situations may arise when we end up saying or doing things that hurt our spouses. The challenge is not to dwell on it or lay blame but to move past it. This can only happen if we are not too proud to ask for forgiveness and we are not stingy to forgive.

    If we expect Allah to forgive us than we must learn to forgive.

    Forget: When we constantly remind our spouses of all the times they let us down or hurt us we have not truly forgiven. Things that happened in the past must be left there and not be used as fresh ammunition in new situations. Couples who use this technique usually fall in a rut and become victims of their own pettiness, unable to break free.

    Forbearance: Sabr (patience) is the most useful tool to have in managing a healthy lifestyle. Being patient and forbearing puts us in a proactive frame of mind it brings us closer to Allah through Tawakul and reliance. We develop an inner mechanism that empowers us to handle life’s difficult moments. As Allah states in Surah al-Asr: “Surely by time humans are at loss,except those who believe and do righteous deeds and counsel each other to the truth and counsel each other to sabr’ (Quran, chapter 103).

    Flexible: Many couples unnecessarily make themselves miserable because they are unwilling to bend a little.

    We should not expect our spouses to be our extensions. They are their own selves with personalities, likes and dislikes. We must respect their right to be them selves as long as it does not compromise their Deen (religion). Being inflexible and not accommodating for individual differences leads to a very stressful and tense home atmosphere.

    Friendship: This aspect of marriage has three components.

    First is to develop a friendship with our spouses.The relationship based on friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures.

    We honor, trust, respect, accept and care for our friends, in spite of our differences. These are the
    aspects of friendship we should bring to our marriages.

    Unfortunately the only aspect that people think of bringing to their marriage which is highly inappropriate is the buddy scenario. Shariah (Islamic law) has placed the husband in a leadership role within a family. This requires a certain decorum, which cannot be maintained if the spouses considereach other as pals.

    This should not be taken to mean that husband is a dictator but a shepherd who is responsible for and to his flock. This is a position of grave responsibility and places an enormous burden on the husband. Further more the children need to see their parents as friends but not as pals as this encourages disrespect.

    Friendly: Second aspect of friendship is to have friendly relations with in-laws. When couples compete as to whose parents are more important it becomes a constant source of grief. Much valuable time is wasted trying to convince, one another of whose parents are most desirable. It is better if we accept, that our spouses will not overnight fall in love with our parents just because we want them to. As long as they maintain friendly relations that are cordial and based on mutual respect we should not force the issue.

    Friends: The third aspect of friendship is our circle of friends. It is okay to have individual friends of the same gender but couples must also make effort to have family friends so that they can socialize together(not inter-mingling of sexes). If there is friction being caused by a certain friendship it must not be pursued at the expense of the marriage. Prophet Muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to choose God fearing people as friends since we tend to follow their way. Friends should be a source of joy and not mischief.

    Fun: Couples that do not laugh together have to work on sharing some fun times. The Prophet(peace and blessings be upon him) was known to play with his wives. A simple walk in the park can add much spark to the relationship. Taking up a sport together.

    Faithful: It is commanded by Allah that we be faithful to our spouses. Adultery is a capital crime in Islam that is punishable by death. However there are various forms of unfaithful behavior prevalent among some Muslims.

    The most common form is maintaining friendships with the opposite sex over the boundaries set by Islam, and the misgivings of the spouse. The latest trend of Internet relationships is also contrary to Islamic Adab (etiquette) and is causing serious problems between couples. Once a sense of betrayal sets in, repairing that relationship is difficult. Another form of not being faithful is when couples betray confidences. This is a trust issue and one when compromised eats away at the heart of a marriage.

    Fair: Usually when we are angry or displeased the tendency is to not play fair. We try to convince
    ourselves that since we have been wronged it is okay to be unjust in our behavior and our statements. Allah states in the Quran do not be unjust under any circumstances, even if they be your enemy, and here we are talking about our life partners and the parent of our children. To use words such as “never” and ”always” when describing the behavior of the partner is unfair and puts the other on the defensive.

    Finance: One of the most common points of contention in marriages is money. Experts tell us that 80 percent of marital conflicts are about money.

    It is therefore highly recommended that the couple put serious time and effort in developing a financial management plan that is mutually agreeable and is reviewed every six months or so. Preparing a budget together is also a helpful and wise way to handling household finances. It should be remembered that the wife’s money in Islam is hers to do with as she pleases and therefore should not be considered family income unless she chooses to contribute it to the family

    Family: Parenting can be a stressful experience if the parents are not well informed. This in turn can put extra pressure on the marriage.

    Sometimes couples are naive about the changes that come in the lifestyle. This can cause in some cases depression and in some resentment and misunderstandings. One golden rule that must always be the guide is; that family comes first.

    Whenever there is evidence that the family is not happy or not our first priority it is time to assemble
    at the kitchen table and discuss with open hearts and mind. Couples who have elderly parents have an added responsibility to take care of them. This can also be very stressful if the couple is not prepared.

    A care plan must be worked out with respective siblings and parents as to who will be the primary
    care giver and what type of support network they will have. In case of mental incompetence a power of attorney must be in place. The making of a will is most essential .

    Feelings: Prophet Muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him stated that Allah forgives all sins if we repent but not those we have committed against others i.e. hurt their feelings unless the person we have hurt forgives first.

    Couples are sometimes very careless when it comes to their spouse’s feelings, they take them for granted and assume that the other knows what they mean. It is surprising that people are more sensitive and courteous to strangers than they are to their loved ones. One must be ever vigilant and careful that they do not hurt the feelings of their spouses and if they invariably do, they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one does not know when someone they love will leave this world, is it not better to make amends when we have the time?

    Freedom: Marriage in Islam is a partnership and not bondage or slavery. To consider the wife one’s
    property is alien to Islamic concept of husband and wife role. The team spirit is enhanced and not
    curtailed when members of the team are free to be themselves. Freedom in the common western sense is to be free to do as one pleases or to be selfish. On the contrary, to allow freedom to one’s spouse is to be considerate of their needs and to recognize their limitations.

    Keep the Romance: Many successful marriages have maintained a youthful demeanor in their marriages by adopting special names for each other and secret communication styles.

    Frank: Misunderstandings happen when couples are not honest with each other. Marital relationship is where the partners must feel safe to speak their mind with due consideration to the other’s feeling, without compromising their own views. When the communication is not frank it hinders in the development of closeness and deep understanding of each other’s inner self.

    Facilitator: When choosing our life partner, we must, as the Prophet(peace and blessings be upon him) advised, look for a pious Muslim. The reason is that their first and foremost goal is the
    pleasure of Allah. This commitment to Allah makes them an excellent facilitator for enhancing their
    partner’s spiritual development. In essence, the couple facilitates their family’s commitment to Allah
    and His Deen.

    Flattering: Paying compliments and indulging in honest flattery is a very inexpensive way to win your spouse’s heart. Everyone likes to be appreciated and noticed. So being stingy about compliments is actually depriving oneself of being appreciated in return.

    Fulfilling: To be all one can be to one’s spouse is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience. To be in love means to give one’s all. The heart does not put conditions or make stipulations. It gives without expecting anything in return, but such selfless giving is always rewarded tenfold.

    Fallible: It often happens that our expectations sometimes are so high that we lose focus of the fact
    that we are fallible beings. When couples start to nitpick and demand the impossible they must remind themselves that only Allah is perfect.

    Fondness: So many times couples fail to work on developing fondness for each other by [failing] to see their spouses as people through the eyes of their respective friends. Spending quality time alone doing and sharing activities are ways in which one can develop fondness.

    Future: Smart couples plan for their future together. They work on their financial and retirement plans,make wills and discuss these plans with their children. This provides peace of mind and secures the relationship.
    .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
    نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
    دولة الإسلامية باقية






  • #2
    Bismillaahi Walhamdulillaahi wassalaatu wassalaamu
    'alaa rasoolillaahi

    Assalaamu Alaykum,

    Following are the remaining barriers erected by youth
    in their way of getting married:

    Age of the Life Partners

    Another idea picked up from Western influences is that
    both spouses must be very close in their ages. Age
    differences are thought to be inimical to a happy
    marriage. Does closeness in age create better harmony
    and happiness in married life? In fact, it does not.
    Harmony and happiness is a frame of mind and matter of
    attitude. If the spouses have the right attitude and
    the right emotions, age difference is not a factor at
    all. Some of the most successful and happy marriages
    are where spouses have a big difference in age. It is
    observed in the contemporary society in both east and
    west. But the greatest model is the example of our
    Prophet. His first and dearest wife was Khadeejah who
    was 15 years his senior. Both had exemplary and
    intense love and respect for each other. Then, love
    between him and Aaishah was also intense and
    exemplary despite her being extremely young compared
    to him. Those who believe in the wisdom of the Prophet
    can never hold age as a criterion for the harmony and
    happiness in marriage.

    Level of Secular Education
    Those Young Muslims who have attained University
    education or professional credentials usually erect
    another barrier around them by insisting that their
    spouse must also be university educated or
    professional. How much does the education of spouses
    contribute to the health of marriage? It all depends
    on how you define education. If it is professional or
    vocational education for earning Halaal income by men,
    it is an acceptable criterion. If education means
    learning of social skills such as decency,
    broadmindedness, flexibility, knowledge and clear
    understanding of what kind of life a Muslim should
    live and how to run household affairs in a happy
    manner, such education is critical and must be a
    criterion for selection. If education means just the
    subjects of arts and sciences that do not teach the
    aforementioned skills, it is absolutely useless from
    the harmony, happiness or health of the marriage point
    of view because the purpose of the marriage is not to
    discuss and solve medical, legal, philosophical,
    mathematical or scientific problems and issues. It
    will be interesting to find out, from those who make
    this a requirement, if they ever feel like talking
    about at home with their spouses what they have been
    talking about all day at work. Or if they frequently
    strengthen their marital relations by discussing
    physics, chemistry, math, etc. If that does not
    happen, why to insist on marrying someone with similar
    qualifications?

    Some people consider education as a proxy for
    intelligence. They think that a highly educated person
    must be intelligent and an intelligent person would be
    easy to relate to, develop an understanding with and
    have fun with. It is also assumed that an educated
    person would also have refined thoughts and tastes.
    Those who assume that all kind of university education
    brings these benefits are in for a big shock. Many
    educated people have been found lacking common sense
    and basic listening or human relations skills and have
    proven to be the most difficult people to develop a
    common, workable understanding with. Often they fail
    to understand even the basic Islamic tenets and
    principles. From marital point of view, what helps is
    not any education or any intelligence or braininess;
    otherwise the incidence of marital problems or divorce
    rate among the educated would have been minimal,
    which, in fact, tends to be higher. The intelligence
    and common sense that matters is the social and
    listening skills aided with an attitude of
    understanding, accepting and adjusting to meet the
    needs of the marriage partner and demands of the
    Islamic objectives of marriage. The only reliable way
    of finding out if a person has that kind of common
    sense or intelligence that I have discovered is to see
    how clear and deep an understanding a person has about
    the Deen and Islamic living in general. If the
    persons lifestyle and comments on religious topics
    portray proper understanding of faith, philosophy and
    spirit of Islamic teachings, then the person is
    intelligent and will be a great life partner, even if
    the person does not have much of the secular
    education. On the other hand, if the person is devoid
    of commitment to Islam or is just a close-minded,
    ritualistic or blind follower of religion,
    intelligence is lacking even if the person is the
    highest scorer in PhD. Spending a lifetime with that
    person will be a challenge.

    Compatibility

    Because the purpose of life in Western paradigm is
    maximizing the instant pleasure through hobbies,
    sports and fun, they want to spend their time with
    someone who has similar tastes, preferences, interests
    and hobbies. Hence, we see great emphasis being placed
    on commonality of such interest such as music, sports
    and hobbies. When people worry about the
    compatibility of personal interests before marriage,
    they soon become disillusioned after marriage to each
    other because no two human beings are exactly the
    same. Young Muslims have also started putting more
    emphasis on such things than it deserves. Hence, it
    also becomes a barrier in getting married. Many
    engagements are being broken or marriages being called
    off because of such emphasis on personal preferences.
    When the engaged young Muslims start chatting and
    conversing on the phone and internet, the differences
    emerge which are taken as incompatibilities and
    marriage is called off.

    Islam wants people to enter into marital relationship
    with an open mind and a flexible attitude to create a
    happy and loving environment for each other,
    accommodating each others needs to ones best with
    the common goal of fulfilling the Islamic objective of
    marriage. With Islamic objectives being the number one
    priority in married life, both spouses are to try
    their best to adjust their lifestyle so that the
    common Islamic objectives are easily achieved and
    affection and kindness to each other is maximized.
    This Islamic attitude cements the spousal relationship
    stronger with the passage of time as compared to
    Western way of thinking where mostly difference and
    disillusionment is increased with the passage of time.


    Hence, compatibility among the preferences and
    interests of the spouses, as understood in the West,
    is not a key to the happiness and success of a
    marriage as much as compatibility in the Islamic view
    of marriage and its objectives is. When people come
    into relationship with the same Islamic objective,
    each with a willingness to adjust for the achievement
    of those objectives together, and to give each other
    their best, the marriage brings nothing but happiness.
    As long as both of them are compatible in their
    religious views and paradigm, share their commitment
    to Islamic objectives and sincerely come into the
    relationship with a mindset of giving love and
    kindness to the other, everything will fall in place.
    They will have a tremendously happy and loving life
    together.

    So what to do?
    One might say, as most of the young Muslims nowadays
    say, why not marry someone who has Deen as well as
    beauty, education, same age range, etc.? That would be
    great! But unfortunately, that is tantamount to asking
    for perfection and perfection does not exist. Most of
    the people are good in one or two things but not all
    and the fact is that most of the people are average on
    the whole. Unfortunately, most young Muslims I have
    talked to are asking for too much. They are looking
    for almost-perfection. They want almost all of the
    above in their spouse, although they themselves are
    deficient in some of these criteria. Hardly anyone
    realizes that they cannot have a spouse that is better
    than themselves as a whole because the other one is
    also looking for someone better. If young Muslims take
    a realistic look at themselves and desire only someone
    comparable to them, many problems will be solved.

    Those young Muslims who cannot be happy with what can
    be available to them from their community and think
    that they deserve the best in the society will find
    themselves lonely for a long time. Finding a person
    whose two or more strengths match with your
    requirements while at the same time your two or more
    strengths match with that persons requirements
    becomes an impossible task. To make the matching
    possible, candidates for marriage have to choose one
    key quality from the list of the requirements that
    they want to see in their ideal spouse and seek a
    match on the basis of that key criterion, while
    compromising on the rest of the attributes or
    requirements.

    So which is the attribute or quality that one should
    select to be the key quality for seeking a match and
    on which others one should compromise? Those who value
    Islam and want to get married will go for the personal
    decency of the person (which is, in fact, excellence
    of ones Deen and faith). If a person being proposed
    for them has that quality, they will say yes to the
    person of average/reasonable looks. Those who insist
    on criteria other than or in addition to this one
    quality are neither sincere to their faith nor to
    Islamic values. They will keep waiting for a perfect
    person to appear until they learn to compromise
    somewhere. Perhaps they should send a custom order to
    Allaah SWT, and in the meantime, while that ideal
    person is created for them to their custom order, they
    would have to keep risking their eternal Aakhirah for
    temporary pleasures of this world they are so badly
    longing to attain.

    Giving importance only to the Deen and making
    compromises on other criteria for selection of a
    marriage partner was emphasized by the Qur-aan:

    And whoever among you cannot afford the means to wed
    free believing women, then (they should wed) believing
    girls from those (slaves) whom your right hands
    possess. And Allaah is most knowing of your faith. You
    (believers) are one from another. An-Nisaa 4:25

    "A Zaani (fornicator) is to marry only a Zaaniyah or
    Mushrikah; and a Zaaniyah is to marry only a Zaani or
    Mushrik. Such marriages are forbidden to the
    believers." (An-Noor 24:3)

    "Evil women are for evil men and evil men are for evil
    women. Women of purity are for men of purity, and men
    of purity are for women of purity." (An-Noor 24:26)

    "And the chaste Muslim women and chaste women from
    those who were given book before you, only when you
    have paid them their Mahr as protectors in wedlock,
    not engaging in licentiousness or secret friendships."
    (Al-Maaidah 5:5)

    "And do not marry Mushrikaat unless and until they
    become Muslim; a Muslim slave girl is better than a
    noble Mushrikah even if she is pleasing to you. And do
    not marry your women off to Mushriks unless and until
    they become Muslim; a Muslim slave is better than a
    Mushrik even if he is pleasing to you. They
    (non-Muslims) invite you to Fire, and Allaah invites
    you by His Grace to Jannah and Pardon. And He makes
    His revelations clear for people so that they learn
    and remember admonition." (Al-Baqarah 2:221)






    Why Western ideals are creating bigger problems among
    Muslims than among non-Muslims

    In a free market economy, the market determines the
    value of a commodity so that a commodity sells at a
    price that is closer to the value people perceive in
    that commodity. In the same manner, in a free mixing
    society, people soon find their realistic value others
    place on them. Hence, they get hooked up with whoever
    will accept them. When people move, socialize and
    interact among those within their reach and their
    social circle, they are attracted towards one another
    and start liking each other due to natural urges and
    attractions. Even those who do not find each other
    attractive at the first glance, start developing
    romantic attachment if they keep interacting in
    positive way. Hence, none of them keeps waiting for an
    ideal. Rather they are hooked to whoever is
    available. That is why we see many of them marrying
    spouses with huge age differences, different ethnic
    backgrounds, and disparate levels of educations,
    vocations and professions, etc. Although this
    culture of free mixing and laissez-faire sexual
    attitude works as a leveller for connecting people, it
    has its own deadly consequences and problems for the
    society and is extremely displeasing to Allaah SWT.

    On the other hand, most of those young Muslims who are
    depending on their parents or elders to find their
    spouses, they maintain their egos and self worth at
    their own self-deceiving and inflated level, and hence
    they keep rejecting reasonable proposals thinking that
    they deserve the best and perfect ideal. Instead of
    accepting what is available to them, they keep hoping
    for the beauty models entrenched in their minds from
    the media, cultural ideals and the naked beauty they
    see around them.

    The root of the problem is the mixing of paradigms and
    methodologies. If young Muslims value their faith and
    are committed to Islam, they must replace Western
    mindset about marriage with Islamic mindset and
    paradigm. Those who do so will indeed succeed both
    here and in the Hereafter.

    (next -- conclusion of whom to marry)

    Wassalaam,
    Ayub Hamid
    .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
    نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
    دولة الإسلامية باقية





    Comment


    • #3
      Tips For A Happy & Successful Marriage!!!!!!!!!

      Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
      Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.



      Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
      Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles


      Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
      Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.


      Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
      Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, said,

      "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)




      Be Your Mate's Best Friend
      Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.


      Spend Quality Time Together
      It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.


      Express Feelings Often
      This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.


      Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
      Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.


      Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
      It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.


      Surprise Each Other at Times
      This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.


      Have a Sense of Humour
      This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.


      Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements: Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.

      Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

      Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.

      Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.

      Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.

      If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.



      Last edited by toxic; 07-01-06, 11:36 AM.
      smiles warm & shinin like d sun upon our faces :)
      hope is rich and green like d trees of an oasis :D
      d colours of ISLAM bloom in so many places :inlove:
      so many different colours of ISLAM ;)
      :love: :love:

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Fundamentals of a happy marriage

        MashAllah...a good read...
        Some very good and helpful points...
        (thought I'd bump it to the most recent so that others can read it if they haven't already)

        JazakAllah Khair AbuMubarak and toxic
        Our Brothers and Sisters need our help. Do what you can to help them!!
        Inna Ma Al-Usri Yusra :::::
        "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief".(94.6)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Fundamentals of a happy marriage

          http://rawdah.org/2012/04/27/the-marriage-series/
          .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
          نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
          دولة الإسلامية باقية





          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Fundamentals of a happy marriage

            :jkk:...for post #1 and 3...

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Fundamentals of a happy marriage

              Originally posted by lighteningzz View Post
              :jkk:...for post #1 and 3...
              the others?
              .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
              نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
              دولة الإسلامية باقية





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              • #8
                Re: Fundamentals of a happy marriage

                It really very useful post. Thanks for sharing such beneficial resources.

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                • #9
                  《爱拼北京》发终极“拼房”预报 曝10月29日上映

                    反应80后北漂生活的都会青春励志恋爱电影《爱拼北京》的“欢乐拼房”预报片在北京公布。本次预报片显现了新一代北拼族“乐活”的生活状况和精神面貌,在这个繁华 的大都市里,他们不但包含了拼搏的意味,在这里,交融了他们的喜怒哀乐,更多的是探求真实自我 的存在。

                    2013年最新电影《爱拼北京》由于空想,所以对峙;由于追随,所以勇敢;在这里,北拼的青年们由于对将来的期许而聚在一块儿 。拼房的日子里,有过悲伤,有过得失;有过泪水,有过欢笑;更多的仍是来自相互鼓动勉励的那种温暖。“由于 爱,所以拼”,这里不但拥有北拼一族对创造奇迹的酷爱,也包括着他们的恋爱。由陌生到认识,再到相知进而是 互相爱慕,这段夸姣而又可贵的缘分在这诺大的都市生根抽芽,北拼的苦一刹那化为欢乐的笑颜,这段感情同属于 你和我,更是属于在北京打拼的每一个人,在这儿,你可以碰见一万种大概,每一种均可能改变你的人生轨迹,恰 是这类未知的结果吸引着每个来北京打拼的人。

                    《爱拼北京》将于10月29日公映。片子由跨界传媒告白人凌平监制,青年新锐导演康博执导,杨洋、季晨 、赵柯、李九霄等年轻一代艺人连袂表演,更有本地当红男演员贾乃亮特别加盟,拼房、拼车、都市、恋爱、励志 、热点话题等多种元素的交融,令人对这部电视剧充满等待。

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