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Agony

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    Agony

    This Is a piece of spoken word poetry (I don't know if you can categorize this as a poem) that I wrote when I first became a Muslim and my mom found out.

    Agony

    My mother told me today that she would kill herself if I wore my Hijab. The woman who goes to church every Sunday, believes in God with her whole heart, and loves her kids more than anything.
    She tell me even non-Christians will go to heaven if they believe in God or even just a Higher power.
    Why is she so afraid? That I will be abused because I choose to wear a piece of fabric on my head, I'm confused, who will I be hurt by? Is she afraid of me being abused by my own community? I've been to two churches regularly since I was a child, I'm leave a church that is almost dead To join a faith that is alive, La illaha illa Allah. The fastest growing religion it was bound to happen to one of us.
    What are you thinking Mama? Allah is real and I'm blessed to be one of his own. Dear mama you can't stop me from trying to be with Allah who created everything.
    I hope to say with my actions hasbiya Allah to everything you throw at me.
    I love you mom and I hate to see you turn away from everything you believe because you are afraid that your beloved daughter is a Muslim in the US of A.
    Last thing my dear mother do you remember that song I loved as a child? It goes like this: "She dreamed of Para-para-paradise every time she closed her eyes" back then I thought paradise was Earthly freedom, the freedom to get away, now I know what paradise is, but my dear mama stands in my way, may Allah forgive you because even though I am pushing you out of my way I want to Grab your shirt sleeve and lead you behind me to paradise.
    But even while saying this I know I can't lead you on a path you don't want to go and it hurts me inside to the point of despair that someday we might be separated forever in the worst possible way, we were never apart from the moment I was born, you've always kept in touch, the thought of not having you hurts like a knife in my heart... twisting, twisting, twisting, I'm in agony. Ya Allah help me!

    #2
    Your mum will find it hard you being muslim first
    make sure in the near future you dont try to push islam on her (if you do she may hate islam) but instead show by your actions how islam makes you a better person in terms of manners etqiuettes thinking and knowledge and sloely she will see how islam has changed you
    then get rid of the misconceptipms she has about islam and teach her about tawheed the oneness of Allah and insha Allah shel become muslime
    ask Allah to guide her

    this process may be a long and slow process have patience
    this is a test from Allah for you
    and if you have patiencr and have gratitude to Allah no matter the outcome youl be closer to paradise insha Allah

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