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Using Gold Star Charts, Prizes, Etc, to Reward Children For Learning & Good Behaviour

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  • Using Gold Star Charts, Prizes, Etc, to Reward Children For Learning & Good Behaviour

    Bismillah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem.

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

    A question to parents, teachers and anyone else with thoughts on this...

    Do you believe it's a positive thing to do?

    I know some parents do this as it helps motivate the child and teaches them the need to earn through effort which I can understand, and that it also helps build a positive association with whatever action is being rewarded.

    The thing which always comes to mind when I consider this is that a Muslim is someone seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aalaa and (an ultimate) reward which He will only see at the very end of his journey.

    By offering these incentives, especially when it comes to kids learning and performing Islamic activities, does it actually help instill in them the wrong kind of idea - Ie, counter to sabr and seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aalaa, instead making them more inclined to the wrong kind of things (unless we're very careful in what we reward then with)?

    I understand some say that at this stage what we're interested in is making certain things habitual in a child, and just the 'formal' learning is the most important thing.

    Interested to know the thoughts of brothers and sisters here. I've had it suggested to me to use such a thing but I've always preferred not to go down that route (rewarding with positive feedback, special attention, extra time and affection etc, are things I'd favour personally.)

    Maybe using such incentives for general behaviour has a place, while not using such things when it comes to matters relating to ritual 'ibaadah is the right thing to do?
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    2
    Yes, I would encourage it.
    100.00%
    2
    No, I wouldn't encourage it.
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    0
    Other
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    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
    -------------------------------
    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

  • #2
    Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
    Bismillah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem.

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

    A question to parents, teachers and anyone else with thoughts on this...

    Do you believe it's a positive thing to do?

    I know some parents do this as it helps motivate the child and teaches them the need to earn through effort which I can understand, and that it also helps build a positive association with whatever action is being rewarded.

    The thing which always comes to mind when I consider this is that a Muslim is someone seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aalaa and (an ultimate) reward which He will only see at the very end of his journey.

    By offering these incentives, especially when it comes to kids learning and performing Islamic activities, does it actually help instill in them the wrong kind of idea - Ie, counter to sabr and seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aalaa, instead making them more inclined to the wrong kind of things (unless we're very careful in what we reward then with)?

    I understand some say that at this stage what we're interested in is making certain things habitual in a child, and just the 'formal' learning is the most important thing.

    Interested to know the thoughts of brothers and sisters here. I've had it suggested to me to use such a thing but I've always preferred not to go down that route (rewarding with positive feedback, special attention, extra time and affection etc, are things I'd favour personally.)

    Maybe using such incentives for general behaviour has a place, while not using such things when it comes to matters relating to ritual 'ibaadah is the right thing to do?
    ​​​​​​
    Are you saying there is something wrong with rewarding children as above?

    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

    Comment


    • #3
      Just asking the question, br Saif-uddin... Maybe some brothers and sisters do/did this and it's been positive in the long run? Maybe some do/did but now feel it might have been better not to have done that?
      ​​​​
      LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
      -------------------------------
      "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
      NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

      Comment


      • #4
        I use a sticker chart to reward my son. It's mostly when he's being stubborn and refusing to do something for me. As an incentive - it works well.

        After a set number of stickers - I treat him to something likes, like dessert or something.

        I'm working on him right now to learn and memorise his Salaah. As you can imagine, getting a child with special needs to sit for two minutes - can be quite a task. But the stickers work well to keep him motivated and engaged.

        Once he's older, they probably won't work as well. Bear in mind - I keep drilling into him, "Muslims try to make Allaah (or God) happy".

        Personally, I don't see anything wrong with using a sticker chart.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
          Bismillah-ir-Rahmaan-ir-Raheem.

          Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

          A question to parents, teachers and anyone else with thoughts on this...

          Do you believe it's a positive thing to do?

          I know some parents do this as it helps motivate the child and teaches them the need to earn through effort which I can understand, and that it also helps build a positive association with whatever action is being rewarded.

          The thing which always comes to mind when I consider this is that a Muslim is someone seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aalaa and (an ultimate) reward which He will only see at the very end of his journey.

          By offering these incentives, especially when it comes to kids learning and performing Islamic activities, does it actually help instill in them the wrong kind of idea - Ie, counter to sabr and seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aalaa, instead making them more inclined to the wrong kind of things (unless we're very careful in what we reward then with)?

          I understand some say that at this stage what we're interested in is making certain things habitual in a child, and just the 'formal' learning is the most important thing.

          Interested to know the thoughts of brothers and sisters here. I've had it suggested to me to use such a thing but I've always preferred not to go down that route (rewarding with positive feedback, special attention, extra time and affection etc, are things I'd favour personally.)

          Maybe using such incentives for general behaviour has a place, while not using such things when it comes to matters relating to ritual 'ibaadah is the right thing to do?
          ​​​​​​


          Keyword is balance and not overboard.

          Its just that in terms of ibadah, yes we don't wish for them to get the wrong idea. too dependent on something it becomes a bad habit.
          And I would say every family is different.

          Its something for the recipient or who gets the reward to shukr (give thanks ) for.
          Reward may not something be just materialistic i guess, it may come in a smile or hug etc. (correct me if im wrong, i would want to think its possible??)

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