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    Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    As-Salaamu Alaikum,

    I decided to make my own thread, I tried to post in anonymous section but it didn't show up after a day, so I registered

    Rather than post the problem in another person's thread I thought it is important to make my own so maybe someone can give advice related to the thread.

    I will try to keep this short in sha Allah

    There is a girl who is a revert of 4 years alhamdulillah, she was very interested in Islam, read the stories of the Prophets, read the Qur'an in English, learnt dua'as, 99 names of Allah with its meaning, had her own YouTube channel to post video reminders Allahumma barek laha. She was on the deen and wanted to wear the Niqab when she was able to. Gave up pork, music, social media (facebook) etc etc.

    Her family are non-Muslims and her parents are divorced, when she told them about her being a Muslim, they hated her for it and wished she was a lesbian rather than a Muslim (you can imagine her environment and can imagine her dissapointment)

    She struggled as the years went past as her friends let her down, her mum puts pressure on her regarding education/driving/work etc and sometimes tells her "what a crap daughter she is" no matter what good she does. She has no friends apart from me looking out for her but I am several hours drive away so it is hard to see each other especially with our busy schedules.

    Anyway, just this past month or so, she has totally given up on everything, she stopped doing any YouTube videos, she doesn't do anything Islamic anymore, she wants to be alone, she hates her work, having to drive to work, basically hates everything and feels anger which she never felt before.

    I tried to be there for her and showed her support but she refuses any help and feels I shouldn't waste my time on her and she keeps pushing me away.

    She started to listen to music in her car as she says she hates silence and started to watch "TV" which she gave up before, I ofcourse advised her against it but she refuses to listen to me.

    To be honest all of this feeling of hate and resentment started when she made a facebook account again she made it so that she can leave feedback for her passing her driving test for her instructor, however she uploaded a picture of herself and since then I feel personally she has gone worse.

    I could be wrong but I do believe she does need ruqyah, I tried to let her listen to Qur'an but she complained of her head hurting and wanted me to stop. I told her we need to do this daily so whatever she has going on in her head can get weaker and weaker with the permission of Allah but she refuses to do it and insist that I leave her to be alone.

    I have tried almost everything, I sent her some flowers on Eid, I offered support and an ear whenever she needed it but her answers would always be negative

    I told her that I will be making a thread and I will show her this thread after the responses I receive, so maybe she can see advice from other people who do care for her, she is still our Muslim sister and as an ummah we are here for each other.

    #2
    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Wow, she has sure been through a lot already and it must be hard to keep your faith alive in such a negative environment, specially with the hate from dear ones.

    I will definitely keep her in my duas. May Allah swt make this trial easy for her. She must be lonely and sad, but she should know that there are people here who care for her, and above all Allah swt loves her so much, she must be someone very special because she has been so brave in the face of all this adversity.

    Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, it was like this in my case. So I am hopeful that she will come out of this phase as a stronger person. May Allah swt reward you and your friend immensely. Stay strong. sending love and duas.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

      Assalamu aleikum.

      Things always get worse in the beginning because when you start ruqya treatment you are attacking the jinn and sihr.
      The jinn will try to stop you from continuing so they will make matters seem worse.
      You should persevere and keep reciting ruqya and the quran.

      The will become weaker because Allah tells us that the plot of the sjajtaan is weak.
      It is a matter of willpower, if you slack off and start sinning again the jinn will gain strenght.
      If you continue Allah will grant you victory.

      So hang on! and know that ruqya is a long term process usually.
      so it could take some time, but don't lose your patience because Allah is with the sabereen.(those who are patient)
      And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

        Originally posted by european muslim View Post
        Assalamu aleikum.

        Things always get worse in the beginning because when you start ruqya treatment you are attacking the jinn and sihr.
        The jinn will try to stop you from continuing so they will make matters seem worse.
        You should persevere and keep reciting ruqya and the quran.

        The will become weaker because Allah tells us that the plot of the sjajtaan is weak.
        It is a matter of willpower, if you slack off and start sinning again the jinn will gain strenght.
        If you continue Allah will grant you victory.

        So hang on! and know that ruqya is a long term process usually.
        so it could take some time, but don't lose your patience because Allah is with the sabereen.(those who are patient)
        This answers many questions in my head. I guess slacking off is what I have done in the past. JZK

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

          Originally posted by european muslim View Post
          Assalamu aleikum.

          Things always get worse in the beginning because when you start ruqya treatment you are attacking the jinn and sihr.
          The jinn will try to stop you from continuing so they will make matters seem worse.
          You should persevere and keep reciting ruqya and the quran.

          The will become weaker because Allah tells us that the plot of the sjajtaan is weak.
          It is a matter of willpower, if you slack off and start sinning again the jinn will gain strenght.
          If you continue Allah will grant you victory.

          So hang on! and know that ruqya is a long term process usually.
          so it could take some time, but don't lose your patience because Allah is with the sabereen.(those who are patient)

          Wa'Alaykumus Salaam,

          That is the problem I am having trying to convey to her, I said listening to Qur'an for Ruqya even for 5-10 minutes a day can help you a lot, she just makes excuses or says she doesn't want to or she's tired, I told her we could do this over Skype so I will be there but yeah again she refuses.

          Now this seems like torture to me wallahi as I helped her revert to Islam, off course Allah guided her but I was the "middle man" if that is the right word to say but I am sure you understand what I mean, she even wallahi saw the word Allah on the braches of a tree (the branches spelt out Allah in Arabic) near her work place, this boosted her Eman subhanAllah as it was her sign.

          But yeah, it is torture for me as I care for this girl like she is my own sister and to see her hate everything and everyone makes me feel helpless.

          I can tell her and I have told her to read her 5 daily salah, to read Qur'an, to seek forgiveness and repent but the problem is, if she can't bare to listen to 5 minutes of ruqyah over skype this is like impossible to her.

          All she wants to do is sleep, cry or sleep some more, oh and watch useless stuff on YouTube like "zoella" (yeah she mentioned that she watches her).

          I have tried to appeal to her that she needs to cut all of the bad if she wants to get better but again it is just refusal upon refusal. All I am doing now is trying everyday and seeking advice from people, I am supporting her, telling I am there for her etc etc but she just tells me "I feel it will be better if I am alone".

          And to be honest in my head I am like, why would you refuse someone who just wants to help you, who loves you, who cares for you, who is doing all this just so you can feel better again, like I would personally love someone doing that for me. But then I do ignore that as it seems like the jinn or sihr is making her think the way she is.

          How can I encourage her that listening to ruqyah can make her feel better?

          Also I have tried contacting a raqi but his fees were too much as he had to travel several hours to her (via car) and I personally couldn't afford £300+ for just 1 session and neither could she as she also supports her mum financially (not that I told her the fee). And I also doubt she would agree to seeing one. But I did ask the raqi if his wife can email her and maybe advise her (see if that helps), he agreed and so did she.

          Also her area is mostly non-Muslims so it is also hard for me to find someone close to her area.
          [MENTION=145127]neemhakeem[/MENTION]

          Ameen ya rabbil alameen, thank you for your beautiful reply. Yes she does feel sad and lonely no matter how much I try to support her, which in turn it also makes me feel sad as I feel like I am not good enough to give her support, cause how can you still feel lonely when you have someone constantly trying to help and be there for you but yeah Allah knows best. Please keep her in your dua'a and pray she seeks guidance from Allah as he is ultimately the changer of hearts. Wallahi she is very special, it just painful that she refuses any help, I have been patient in giving her own space, at one point this past week (sunday) I thought I made a break-through as I said to her to just follow what I tell you to do then in sha Allah we will beat this together, she did reply with "okay I will listen to you, but not today, make it wednesday (yesterday)" I said fine sounds good, but then on Wednesday she messages me saying "I don't want to and to leave her be", so you can imagine my dissapointment and sadness as all I want to do is help this sister.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

            Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
            As-Salaamu Alaikum,

            I decided to make my own thread, I tried to post in anonymous section but it didn't show up after a day, so I registered

            Rather than post the problem in another person's thread I thought it is important to make my own so maybe someone can give advice related to the thread.

            I will try to keep this short in sha Allah

            There is a girl who is a revert of 4 years alhamdulillah, she was very interested in Islam, read the stories of the Prophets, read the Qur'an in English, learnt dua'as, 99 names of Allah with its meaning, had her own YouTube channel to post video reminders Allahumma barek laha. She was on the deen and wanted to wear the Niqab when she was able to. Gave up pork, music, social media (facebook) etc etc.

            Her family are non-Muslims and her parents are divorced, when she told them about her being a Muslim, they hated her for it and wished she was a lesbian rather than a Muslim (you can imagine her environment and can imagine her dissapointment)

            She struggled as the years went past as her friends let her down, her mum puts pressure on her regarding education/driving/work etc and sometimes tells her "what a crap daughter she is" no matter what good she does. She has no friends apart from me looking out for her but I am several hours drive away so it is hard to see each other especially with our busy schedules.

            Anyway, just this past month or so, she has totally given up on everything, she stopped doing any YouTube videos, she doesn't do anything Islamic anymore, she wants to be alone, she hates her work, having to drive to work, basically hates everything and feels anger which she never felt before.

            I tried to be there for her and showed her support but she refuses any help and feels I shouldn't waste my time on her and she keeps pushing me away.

            She started to listen to music in her car as she says she hates silence and started to watch "TV" which she gave up before, I ofcourse advised her against it but she refuses to listen to me.

            To be honest all of this feeling of hate and resentment started when she made a facebook account again she made it so that she can leave feedback for her passing her driving test for her instructor, however she uploaded a picture of herself and since then I feel personally she has gone worse.

            I could be wrong but I do believe she does need ruqyah, I tried to let her listen to Qur'an but she complained of her head hurting and wanted me to stop. I told her we need to do this daily so whatever she has going on in her head can get weaker and weaker with the permission of Allah but she refuses to do it and insist that I leave her to be alone.

            I have tried almost everything, I sent her some flowers on Eid, I offered support and an ear whenever she needed it but her answers would always be negative

            I told her that I will be making a thread and I will show her this thread after the responses I receive, so maybe she can see advice from other people who do care for her, she is still our Muslim sister and as an ummah we are here for each other.
            It seems you have done your best. Since you live far, is there Islamic community closer to where she lives? If yes, maybe offer to take her there and make new friends, or at least give her the address and contact person she can talk to (when she decides to change, she may need to talk to someone)

            Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves 8:53
            Narrated Humaid: I heard Muawiya bin Abi Sufyan delivering a sermon. He said, "I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "If Allah wants to do a favor to somebody, He bestows on him, the gift of understanding the Qur'an and Sunna. I am but a distributor, and Allah is the Giver. The state of this nation will remain good till the Hour is established, or till Allah's Order comes." Sahih al-Bukhari

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

              Firstly, may Allah bless you for me being there for another Muslim. Your friend is depressed, may Allah guide her and all of us to the straight path. Based on what you said, I think she received a lot of hate from her family and her workplace. This is sadly the results of living in a non-Muslim society. Lastly, based on personal experience, I advice you to leave alone and give her time to reflect. Tell her to call you if she needs any help.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                Originally posted by Calender121438 View Post
                Firstly, may Allah bless you for me being there for another Muslim. Your friend is depressed, may Allah guide her and all of us to the straight path. Based on what you said, I think she received a lot of hate from her family and her workplace. This is sadly the results of living in a non-Muslim society. Lastly, based on personal experience, I advice you to leave alone and give her time to reflect. Tell her to call you if she needs any help.
                Indeed she could be subjected to hate and Hasad.

                وَدَّ كَثِيرٌ مِّنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ لَوْ يَرُدُّونَكُم مِّن بَعْدِ إِيمَانِكُمْ كُفَّارًا حَسَدًا مِّنْ عِندِ أَنفُسِهِم مِّن بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمُ الْحَقُّ فَاعْفُوا وَاصْفَحُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ
                And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                  Salam alaikum

                  from what you have written and my own experience and understanding I would say yes this is a matter that requires ruqyah.

                  From what you have I suspect that it is ayn hasad as sister european muslimah pointed to.

                  My reasoning is as follows: she had a youtube channel and I'm assuming she showed her face and spoke into the camera. If someone who watched this had hasad then it would effect her even though the person did not come into direct contact with her as I've found(and heard from others) that a person can receive hasad thru a photograph.

                  Islam can be very difficult for reverts and we face many challenges that born muslims do not face as we have no or little support network. May Allah awj reward you for your care and concern for her,ameen

                  Please continue to encourage her and May Allah awj return her to the straight path and keep her steadfast in the religion,ameen

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                    Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                    Salam alaikum

                    from what you have written and my own experience and understanding I would say yes this is a matter that requires ruqyah.

                    From what you have I suspect that it is ayn hasad as sister european muslimah pointed to.

                    My reasoning is as follows: she had a youtube channel and I'm assuming she showed her face and spoke into the camera. If someone who watched this had hasad then it would effect her even though the person did not come into direct contact with her as I've found(and heard from others) that a person can receive hasad thru a photograph.

                    Islam can be very difficult for reverts and we face many challenges that born muslims do not face as we have no or little support network. May Allah awj reward you for your care and concern for her,ameen

                    Please continue to encourage her and May Allah awj return her to the straight path and keep her steadfast in the religion,ameen
                    I agree except for the fact that my name is not european muslimah and i am not a sister (how could you even misread that )
                    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                      Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                      Salam alaikum

                      from what you have written and my own experience and understanding I would say yes this is a matter that requires ruqyah.

                      From what you have I suspect that it is ayn hasad as sister european muslimah pointed to.

                      My reasoning is as follows: she had a youtube channel and I'm assuming she showed her face and spoke into the camera. If someone who watched this had hasad then it would effect her even though the person did not come into direct contact with her as I've found(and heard from others) that a person can receive hasad thru a photograph.

                      Islam can be very difficult for reverts and we face many challenges that born muslims do not face as we have no or little support network. May Allah awj reward you for your care and concern for her,ameen

                      Please continue to encourage her and May Allah awj return her to the straight path and keep her steadfast in the religion,ameen
                      May Allah bless you all for your advice.

                      She didn't have a YouTube channel to show herself, but she had 1 so that she can spread Islam, so spreading English and Arabic lectures so people can benefit. She was really eager and keen to do it but now she has given up on it.

                      I agree her environment is not the best and yes she has gotten a lot of hate from her family and I guess it did brake her. But what I don't understand is why she is refusing help from someone that actually cares for her.

                      Now she just seems angry at everything and everyone (including me) hence why she wants me to leave her alone. And to be honest I have done so for 2 months or so in a sense I wouldn't message her much, but she still feels the same.

                      She was never like this, her personality was actually very good mashaAllah but yeah something has changed in her and I pray Allah can cure her

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                        Originally posted by european muslim View Post
                        I agree except for the fact that my name is not european muslimah and i am not a sister (how could you even misread that )
                        Sorry,My bad, I apologize.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                          Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
                          May Allah bless you all for your advice.

                          She didn't have a YouTube channel to show herself, but she had 1 so that she can spread Islam, so spreading English and Arabic lectures so people can benefit. She was really eager and keen to do it but now she has given up on it.

                          I agree her environment is not the best and yes she has gotten a lot of hate from her family and I guess it did brake her. But what I don't understand is why she is refusing help from someone that actually cares for her.

                          Now she just seems angry at everything and everyone (including me) hence why she wants me to leave her alone. And to be honest I have done so for 2 months or so in a sense I wouldn't message her much, but she still feels the same.

                          She was never like this, her personality was actually very good mashaAllah but yeah something has changed in her and I pray Allah can cure her
                          It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
                          Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                            Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                            It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
                            Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.
                            Sounds like you have some experience in the matter.
                            Are you a raqi?
                            And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                              Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                              It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
                              Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.
                              I was thinking the same thing subhan allah. but the fact that this sister is going to keep in touch with her without the pressure for now will inshallah make things better. and you said it right, it's not her but the thing that's possessing her. These things get hurt and are possessive when the human has someone specially a muslim that sincerely cares about them. It tries to hurt them, isolate them and make them feel there is no one there for them. Unfortunately, most people don't understand that.

                              I recently saw a sister who was a very severe case of possession and the way she was behaving with her mother or sister was appalling. but amazingly her family was supportive. and i could see that she was struggling to control herself, the thing manifested itself in front of the raqi and was afraid of it. Subhanallah. With Allah's help a person can definitely beat these afflictions.

                              Comment

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