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Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Originally posted by AleaIactaEst View Post
    I agree 100% with your view on the above (aside from YouTube), my concern is that your approach is a little too harsh, and that could be the reason why she is withdrawing from you. In my experience with my revert friends and general observation of da'wah, is that people respond better and are a lot more likely to be consistent when they take things slowly, and also when focus is placed on the most critical and essential points (Tawheed, salaat, eating halal) and not made to go gung -ho on things like YouTube, FB etc. Somtimes being too intense pushes people in the other direction. Either way I wish you and the sister the best, and I hope her situation turns around in shaa Allah.
    I have to say that this has been the case for some kids in my family. They got turned off of islam and quit going to the masjid when the parental naseeha got intense.

    That said, i think you are already quite patient and gentle so keep it up. I think with treatment, time and persistence things will inshallah turn around,

    Did you get a chance to find a muslim physician that might help out? someone from the masjid locally?

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      Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
      Sister get a raaqi to see her as shes not reading Quran or listening to ruqya her self so shes not battling the jinn
      You need to just trick her into meeting a raaqi and force her to listen
      At the moment brother I am not messaging her as anything I do say will be a negative response. I have told her to listen to the Qur'an, I sent her an MP3, I said we could skype and listen over skype but if she refuses or doesn't want to then I can't do anything, so getting a raqi to see her sounds like an impossible task. I just pray the changer of hearts can change her heart back to Islam and make her much firmer than she was before.

      Comment


        Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

        Originally posted by AleaIactaEst View Post
        I agree 100% with your view on the above (aside from YouTube), my concern is that your approach is a little too harsh, and that could be the reason why she is withdrawing from you. In my experience with my revert friends and general observation of da'wah, is that people respond better and are a lot more likely to be consistent when they take things slowly, and also when focus is placed on the most critical and essential points (Tawheed, salaat, eating halal) and not made to go gung -ho on things like YouTube, FB etc. Somtimes being too intense pushes people in the other direction. Either way I wish you and the sister the best, and I hope her situation turns around in shaa Allah.
        I don't believe I am harsh at all, I believe I am quite patient with her, mashaAllah she didn't listen to music watch useless Youtubers or even had a Facebook account for over 2 years, she was quite happy with it and understood the dangers of it, she even used to mention it how she is not like girls who frequently posts on their accounts or vlog letting any man to see. We watched lectures regarding music, social media etc and the speakers would say the same thing and she would agree (after we discuss the topic)

        You say my approach is a little too harsh? I completely disagree, why? I told her it is fine if you can't eat halal meat, I made her think twice about wearing a Niqab, or even a scarf when she "wanted" to as I was concerned for her because of her family reaction, I said to her take your time and in sha Allah just study Islam to grow stronger, even with Salah I said it is fine, just take it slowly, so I don't know how you believe I am too harsh?

        If it is because of Music and Facebook etc, then off course I will tell her it is wrong as this is most likely why she is feeling the way she is. As this seemed to have gotten worse from the day she uploaded her picture on Facebook, And to be candid she isn't just off with me, she has given up on everything and wants to be alone from everyone. Typical sign of depression/shaytaan on her case, as even with music she says I just have it as a background in the car

        Although yes I do agree knowing what I know now maybe I should have stepped back even further and may Allah forgive me for that, may Allah give me another chance with her to put things right.

        Just keep her in your dua'a that Allah will guide her back to his path and she recovers from this illness.

        Comment


          Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

          Originally posted by neemhakeem View Post
          I have to say that this has been the case for some kids in my family. They got turned off of islam and quit going to the masjid when the parental naseeha got intense.

          That said, i think you are already quite patient and gentle so keep it up. I think with treatment, time and persistence things will inshallah turn around,

          Did you get a chance to find a muslim physician that might help out? someone from the masjid locally?
          In sha Allah she will come round

          I tried to find a masjid close to her locally and there is one that is like 30-45 minutes away from her house, the problem is she wouldn't visit it and the Imam wouldn't be allowed to visit her house due to her family, so it is so hard subhanAllah . I can't even approach her at the moment as she would say "leave me alone or I want to be alone" so I left her to her thoughts hoping she does message me back in time in sha Allah , so make dua'a she comes to me so I can in sha Allah help her through this.

          Comment


            Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

            That is true about posting your real photo online. Not only when it comes to evil affliction, but also identity theft. Anyone can download your photo, create an online profile and post your photo. Next they will post nasty evil things online and make a lot of people think it's you who are doing this. Obviously you will get negative reactions, although you have never done anything of that sort.

            Did you get the chance to bring her the Quran recited water? I was hoping that if she doesn't want to recite nor listen to the Quran anymore, at least she'd be willing to drink or do ablution with it.

            I am not on the forum much due to recent family situation. I will keep you and your friend in my dua.
            It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

            Comment


              Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

              As-Salaamu Alaikum

              Update: Surprising on Tuesday night she did message me saying she was finding it hard to move on from our friendship, we had a lovely chat about random stuff, it felt good and positive. But yeah since then no response from her. I only communicate with her over Skype and her status would read "away" I messaged her today asking if she was okay and that I was thinking of her, she briefly came online and then went "offline"...

              I dont really know what to think, I do feel used in this as it feels like she talks to me when she "wants" and whenever I do, it is ignored.

              I also mentioned in our chat on Tuesday that someone in the forum said I was maybe too harsh with her, which I apologised for to her, she did reply "no don't even think that and you did amazingly well, everything you did was perfect, I wasn't just ready or something"...

              I do feel some guilt in what I could have done differently, but Allah knows best

              Comment


                Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                I dont think shes using you i think shes just going through some hard times and struggling to communicate she probably has a lot of mood swings especially coz of jinn
                Just try and have sabr u already are but just maintain it inshAllah

                Comment


                  Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                  Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                  I dont think shes using you i think shes just going through some hard times and struggling to communicate she probably has a lot of mood swings especially coz of jinn
                  Just try and have sabr u already are but just maintain it inshAllah
                  Thank You brother, may Allah reward you for the kind positive advice. No news yet but In sha Allah I will try and have the patience and let her come to me if she wants to, may Allah guide her back to Islam even stronger than before (Ameen)

                  Comment


                    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                    Ameen

                    Comment


                      Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                      Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
                      Thank You brother, may Allah reward you for the kind positive advice. No news yet but In sha Allah I will try and have the patience and let her come to me if she wants to, may Allah guide her back to Islam even stronger than before (Ameen)
                      Any news or updates?

                      Comment


                        Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                        Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                        Any news or updates?
                        Sorry that I haven't been updating this thread just thought I didn't really need to as there were no changes.

                        Well the sister was still being distant but every few days or so she would message me saying that she was having a horrible time and that I should just not waste my time on her and to let her move on with her life.

                        Off course I was being supportive and patient etc etc but nothing really worked, she admitted she is depressed and isn't right mentally and said she needs to to go to the doctors soon. I did advise her to stop taking the Accutane drug and the birth control pills as it is most likely making her feel worse but she doesn't take any notice of it. I also tried to encourage her to read Qur'an

                        However on Monday that just went, sadly she said she needs to delete the Skype App (Where we only had left to communicate), she told me she didnt want to but had to as it was for the best.

                        She did make me cry as she said things like "If it wasnt for you to be there for me through all my problems then I might not even be here today"..

                        All I have been doing lately is waking up for tahujjud and begging Allah to bring her back to Islam and to bring her back to me for his sake as I want to support her Islamically as well as be there for her mentally, she hasnt any friends, her family arent exactly very nice and she must be very alone now ontop of the shaytaan being on her case.

                        Please continue to keep her in your dua'a and may Allah destroy her shaytaan that is on her case so she can think more clearly and practice her faith.

                        Comment


                          Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                          ameen to your dua and I will make dua for her inshaAllah.

                          May Allah reward you and keep you patient,ameen

                          Comment


                            Update: I spoke to her last Wednesday where she told me she feels nothing but sadness and guilt, I tried to say "I am here" "You can reach out to me" etc etc but she just said she needed to go get on with her life. She says she is far from Islam cause she listens to music and watches movies, I told her we all sin and it is never too late to change for the better, but again no matter what I say there is a negative response.

                            I told her to see a GP but she said they cant help as they didn't help her mother, she seems like in a really bad place at the moment and I do feel helpless

                            So yeah not sure what else to do apart from request dua'a for the sister

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
                              Update: I spoke to her last Wednesday where she told me she feels nothing but sadness and guilt, I tried to say "I am here" "You can reach out to me" etc etc but she just said she needed to go get on with her life. She says she is far from Islam cause she listens to music and watches movies, I told her we all sin and it is never too late to change for the better, but again no matter what I say there is a negative response.

                              I told her to see a GP but she said they cant help as they didn't help her mother, she seems like in a really bad place at the moment and I do feel helpless

                              So yeah not sure what else to do apart from request dua'a for the sister
                              Look this sister has been hit so bad with evil eye or jinn and her own depression she has destroyed her self unless u get a raaqi to forcibly do ruqya on her i dont see how any of this is going to get better it will only get worse until it leads to her losing her religion or life

                              also u mentioned birth control i hope its not for what i think it is as if that is the case with jinn posession it can lead to some shocking changes in charachter

                              stay with her and be patient and somehow just try and get a raaqi to see her if she refuses force her by just bringing him to come
                              ​​​​​

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                                Look this sister has been hit so bad with evil eye or jinn and her own depression she has destroyed her self unless u get a raaqi to forcibly do ruqya on her i dont see how any of this is going to get better it will only get worse until it leads to her losing her religion or life

                                also u mentioned birth control i hope its not for what i think it is as if that is the case with jinn posession it can lead to some shocking changes in charachter

                                stay with her and be patient and somehow just try and get a raaqi to see her if she refuses force her by just bringing him to come
                                ​​​​​
                                Yeah it seems like it is a must, but she has completely shut me out at the moment, she hasn't gotten back to me since last Wednesday. I am finding it difficult to locate one raqi in her area, the one I found where I live, is charging like £300 for the travel and session and I can't personally afford that and it does seem over exaggerated in price anyway. However even if I do find one, it will be hard for me to convince her to see a raqi as she is ignoring me at the moment.

                                Birth Control pills is to control her period it isnt anything haraam that she is doing in that sense. Also she takes Accutane (for her acne) as I mentioned earlier which also may play a part in her way of thinking (she should be off them next month in sha Allah) so I am hoping her train of thoughts will improve

                                I have advised her as much as I could about coming back to Islam, with the remembrance of Allah will hearts find rest. But she has given up and not sure what else I can do but to make dua'a

                                I already asked her to meet me again but she refuses to so yeah, I just have to be patient in this as not sure what else to do.

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