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Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

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    #31
    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Usually 5 minutes of listening is not enough.

    If she said she was bored maybe she was not really interested and just did it because you asked her.
    Niyah is very important in ruqya, you need the right mindset and intentions.
    Also you need to be 100% certain in your heart that Allah can cure you.

    Keep your dua, may Allah guide her.
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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      #32
      Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

      That's a good start,keep doing what you are doing.

      I encourage you to maintain contact with her and continue to be gently persistent.

      Don't expect her to make huge progress quickly,it will take some time.

      Reverting to Islam is very difficult thing to go through.Many reverts leave islam in the first couple years as they receive no support from the community they join in many cases and the
      difficulties they go through are overwhelming for them.

      continue to encourage her and support her as bets you can.

      May Allah awj make ease her affairs,ameen.

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        #33
        Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

        Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
        Ameen, very kind of you to say, she is worth all the effort alhamdulillah.

        Right she did listen to at least 5 minutes worth of ruqyah. I asked her about her feelings and she said "she felt bored" whilst listening, I then did ask her about if she still believes in Allah and Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him), she said yes and that she believes in everything she used to believe in, alhamdulillah

        I did suggest if I could send her an MP3 of ruqyah so whenever she is free she can listen, but she told me not to bother.

        So what do I do now? Ask her if we can listen again for 5 minutes? Or just leave her to it which If I do, I know she wouldn't try to do anything Islamic cause of her environment etc.

        May Allah bless you all for your help and advice.
        Honestly, I do not think she needs ruqyah. She is just depressed. May Allah guide her and ease her affairs. You should tell her that when she is ready, that she should listen to the Quran with english translations. You are doing a good job but she has to be the one that comes to you.

        Allah said "Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (Surah 13:11).

        1) Here is a good website for Quran recitations: http://quranexplorer.com/quran/

        2) Here is a good website for english translations: http://legacy.quran.com/

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          #34
          Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

          Originally posted by Calender121438 View Post
          Honestly, I do not think she needs ruqyah. She is just depressed. May Allah guide her and ease her affairs. You should tell her that when she is ready, that she should listen to the Quran with english translations. You are doing a good job but she has to be the one that comes to you.

          Allah said "Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (Surah 13:11).

          1) Here is a good website for Quran recitations: http://quranexplorer.com/quran/

          2) Here is a good website for english translations: http://legacy.quran.com/
          Ameen, the thing is, she was already depressed due to family issues but she always maintained doing Islamic worship like doing Islamic videos, learning dua'a, trying to be as modest as possible no matter how much her mum wanted her to wear make up and tight clothing, no matter how messed up her family were. So to suddenly stop that and have no interest for it, seems like ruqyah is needed especially how she feels a presence next to her and she dreams of dying and falling from a high place etc etc but yeah I could be wrong. The only problem is, how can I get her to keep listening to it and actually show an interest.

          It is just difficult for me as I know and knew how the sister was, the zeal she had was encouraging like how she wanted to wear the niqab, buy halal meat when she was able to drive, even to a point learn the Arabic language and be in the future to come a great Muslim Mum, yes she had all these dreams.

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            #35
            Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

            Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
            That's a good start,keep doing what you are doing.

            I encourage you to maintain contact with her and continue to be gently persistent.

            Don't expect her to make huge progress quickly,it will take some time.

            Reverting to Islam is very difficult thing to go through.Many reverts leave islam in the first couple years as they receive no support from the community they join in many cases and the
            difficulties they go through are overwhelming for them.

            continue to encourage her and support her as bets you can.

            May Allah awj make ease her affairs,ameen.
            Ameen, I will in sha Allah try to do so, no matter how much her family hated Islam, she still remained firm towards the religion, but the loss of interest in the last 2 months saddens me as off course I only wish the best for her and at the moment she can't see that.

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              #36
              Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

              how was her last ramadan?

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                #37
                Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
                Ameen, the thing is, she was already depressed due to family issues but she always maintained doing Islamic worship like doing Islamic videos, learning dua'a, trying to be as modest as possible no matter how much her mum wanted her to wear make up and tight clothing, no matter how messed up her family were. So to suddenly stop that and have no interest for it, seems like ruqyah is needed especially how she feels a presence next to her and she dreams of dying and falling from a high place etc etc but yeah I could be wrong. The only problem is, how can I get her to keep listening to it and actually show an interest.

                It is just difficult for me as I know and knew how the sister was, the zeal she had was encouraging like how she wanted to wear the niqab, buy halal meat when she was able to drive, even to a point learn the Arabic language and be in the future to come a great Muslim Mum, yes she had all these dreams.
                That is up to her inshallah: "For whoever wills among you to take a right course.And you do not will except that Allah wills - Lord of the worlds."(Surah 81:28-29).

                Comment


                  #38
                  Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                  Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                  how was her last ramadan?
                  Not great to be honest, she didn't fast as it was difficult upon her to do so, and I guess for her it didn't feel like ramadan as she didn't have the presence of it (where someone in her family or even friends are doing it)

                  And a week after Eid this is when she started to change and have no trust in any one and just have this rejection of someone wanting to help her.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                    Ramadan and the period just after are very difficult for reverts. Eid is a time to celebrate with your family and community so if you don't have a muslim family or muslim community it can be very depressing. Humans have a need for a time to celebrate and that is why I suspect she is looking forward to christmas.

                    Continue to talk with her and encourage her.

                    Do you live far from her? Does she have any day to day in person contact with muslims?

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                      #40
                      Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                      Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                      Ramadan and the period just after are very difficult for reverts. Eid is a time to celebrate with your family and community so if you don't have a muslim family or muslim community it can be very depressing. Humans have a need for a time to celebrate and that is why I suspect she is looking forward to christmas.

                      Continue to talk with her and encourage her.

                      Do you live far from her? Does she have any day to day in person contact with muslims?
                      Yeah that is why on the Eid that just went I made sure on Eid day, flowers, chocolates and a teddy bear was delivered to her house and I messaged her saying "Eid Mubarak, I know it doesn't seem like Eid to you but you are a Muslim and you deserve gifts on Eid" she was really happy alhamdulillah, but it seemed short lived as she was still being the same distant with me, so it was like no matter what I do I generally get the cold shoulder., if I didn't feel she was worthy I would have given up by now as you can't force someone to like you or want to talk to you.

                      Yeah I do live far away from her (few hours drive) which is also difficult, I do plan to go see her but I would need to stay over her area and the prices of hotels are very steep especially over weekends.

                      And no she doesn't have any contact with any Muslims at all apart from me unfortunately and even with me I am far away.

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                        Today she did say that she wants to get whatever is inside of her out and then when it is, she wants to do things on her own. She said she relied on me too much and that she needs to focus on herself and do things on her own. So she is already thinking of breaking our friendship, I did question her on this saying "so regardless of you getting better or no, you just want to be on your own" She said she doesn't know and that she is confused.

                        I didn't really understand that as she has been doing things on her own anway as we live far away, we did use to Skype and do Islamic stuff and talk about all our problems etc where we could talk for hours and she was definitely happier than compared to now, she even used to say before "oh I wish you lived closer to me, so we could go for tea and hang out" as she used to envy other women who would do that.

                        To be honest, I really don't understand this situation and her reasoning in wanting to do things on her own and just be alone, Allah knows best

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                          #42
                          Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                          Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
                          Today she did say that she wants to get whatever is inside of her out and then when it is, she wants to do things on her own. She said she relied on me too much and that she needs to focus on herself and do things on her own. So she is already thinking of breaking our friendship, I did question her on this saying "so regardless of you getting better or no, you just want to be on your own" She said she doesn't know and that she is confused.

                          I didn't really understand that as she has been doing things on her own anway as we live far away, we did use to Skype and do Islamic stuff and talk about all our problems etc where we could talk for hours and she was definitely happier than compared to now, she even used to say before "oh I wish you lived closer to me, so we could go for tea and hang out" as she used to envy other women who would do that.

                          To be honest, I really don't understand this situation and her reasoning in wanting to do things on her own and just be alone, Allah knows best
                          Let her come out of this miserable phase and inshallah, she will want to hang out with you more. right now she is not receptive to anything that will make her feel good or move towards Allah swt. Company of muslims, talking about God or any goodness will not interest her. Once she starts to see with her own eyes and not with the clouding of shaytan she will be different inshallah. keep making dua, Allah swt will help her.

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                            #43
                            Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                            Originally posted by neemhakeem View Post
                            Let her come out of this miserable phase and inshallah, she will want to hang out with you more. right now she is not receptive to anything that will make her feel good or move towards Allah swt. Company of muslims, talking about God or any goodness will not interest her. Once she starts to see with her own eyes and not with the clouding of shaytan she will be different inshallah. keep making dua, Allah swt will help her.
                            Thank You Sister, and may Allah bless you with goodness (Ameen). Yep you are absoulately right, non of that interest her at the moment, I will remain patient and continue to help her, may Allah give me strength as sometimes she does get angry when we talk especially when we talk about her situation, I do pull back from the conversation and leave, then a few minutes later she will reply "sorry I just can't help it". Off course I tell her that I don't blame her etc.

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                              Originally posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
                              Thank You Sister, and may Allah bless you with goodness (Ameen). Yep you are absoulately right, non of that interest her at the moment, I will remain patient and continue to help her, may Allah give me strength as sometimes she does get angry when we talk especially when we talk about her situation, I do pull back from the conversation and leave, then a few minutes later she will reply "sorry I just can't help it". Off course I tell her that I don't blame her etc.
                              JZK dear. I pray that Allah swt give you patience and help you in helping this poor girl. Always remember that when she is mad at you it's not her, it;s the shayateen. That's the goal of shaytaan to make her feel miserable and guilty.

                              A good sign is that she does apologize and feels bad about it. so she has lucid intervals....and the rest of her day probably is a mixture of feeling regretful, sad, lonely, hating herself/others and despaired that Allah will not forgive her or love her. She will also feel that everyone is her enemy including her parents and siblings and you of course.

                              Keep telling her that you love her as her sister in islam, that you will never leave her no matter what happens and that you will support her in any way she needs.

                              Stay strong :) you can do it!

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

                                Originally posted by neemhakeem View Post
                                JZK dear. I pray that Allah swt give you patience and help you in helping this poor girl. Always remember that when she is mad at you it's not her, it;s the shayateen. That's the goal of shaytaan to make her feel miserable and guilty.

                                A good sign is that she does apologize and feels bad about it. so she has lucid intervals....and the rest of her day probably is a mixture of feeling regretful, sad, lonely, hating herself/others and despaired that Allah will not forgive her or love her. She will also feel that everyone is her enemy including her parents and siblings and you of course.

                                Keep telling her that you love her as her sister in islam, that you will never leave her no matter what happens and that you will support her in any way she needs.

                                Stay strong :) you can do it!
                                This exactly what I was going to say on the situation.

                                Please don't take her being angry or any verbal attacks on you personally.

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