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I can't see the light

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  • I can't see the light

    Hello Sisters and Brothers!

    Please Admins who manage this forum do not delete this topic if i shared on wrong category please just move to correct i want to hear others opinion if they have one...

    I really don't know where to start this...

    Before 3-4 years i started to pray (Salah, Salat) 5 time a day, i went to Mosque early but i never performed 5 salah a day so i did this everyday for almost 2 years and i asked Imam for Mosque's keys so i can open doors first and i wanted everytime to be first on Mosque so he accepted (May Allah Bless him and his Family) i never been so happy on my Life when i performed Salah 5 time a day. Right now im 20 years old but i quitted performing 5 salah a day not why i wanted but late i understand it and it was my bad society right now im lost on this world and sometimes when im alone i like to talk to Allah about my problems and my family problems i talk with Almighty Allah everything and i start to cry because i love Allah so much and im tired of this life and its very hard and tight for me and my family when i talk with Allah i'm expressing like this because i know Allah is listening even if we don't speak he knows what we're going to say, When i talk with my creator sometimes i feel like i ask stupid and craziest question like Why you aren't answer my questions , Why you are not helping us , Why this why that im feeling really bad because i know he is preparing something good for me and my Family but in this case i can say i'm not patient but i forgot to say We live in same house with my Uncle (Uncle From father's side) his wife and his children , My Uncle has been drinking Alcohol for almost 20-30 years i don't know exactly "Allah Knows" and i told him when he tried to beat his wife and his mother (my grandmother) to stop because devil is pushing you to do this sometimes he said "Yes you're right" and sometimes he said do not tell me what to do or what is bad etc. so one day i talked to him when he was drunk and he didn't let me eat my food and I pointed my finger at him and i said i fear only Allah he replied back to me and said don't point me your finger even Allah not dare to point finger right to me, Estagfirullah from that day i never talked to my Uncle and i never will even if we live in same house that's why im on depression and stres all the time. We don't have wealth so i can't buy a house or whatever just to not live together because my uncle allowed his son to sell weed they are very wrongdoers and Allah knows it , i just stay patient because of Allah, (Allah love the patient people) my Dad, Mother and sister because i can kill him very quick i swear to Almighty Allah im tired of him and other reason what stops me is "Jail" nobody except Allah will care about my family and right now we have to live in same house because we don't have where to go, i stress my self where to get the money how to make money just to buy a house for me and my family and stop living with them , i'm on depression sometimes i smoke marijuana because it relieves my pain i don't know im lost on this cold world and i've been thinking while sharing this why i'am sharing this on forums while Allah knows about this situation and i prayed everytime every night about this situation to make us happy as he wants... but still nothing even When Ramadan was 3-4 years ago i went to Mosuqe everyday, everynight and i pray about this situation too so probably Insh Allah night of Al-Qadr would take my pray and Allah accept it but still nothing... I'm lost sometimes i ask Allah to take my soul because im tired......

    English is not my 1st language so i'm sorry for mistakes, i would like to stay unknown person i can say just i'm 20 years old and Male.

  • #2
    You are not alone, my friend. We all have our own problems/issues. Allah (SWT) created us to test us and sometimes He does that by giving us problems/tests.

    Be patient and make a lot of prayers. Always show gratitude to Allah (SWT).

    May Allah (SWT) make it easy for you.

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    • #3
      Keep going on the straight path and never despair from the mercy and relief of Allah(SWT). It can get blindly difficult or feel like it at times but that’s what it means to bear patience. Shaytaan uses your difficulty to whisper despair into your heart — never give into this. Zoom out of your situation and see yourself in bigger perspective of what other people¬†are going through. It will help to ease your mind. Sometimes being too invested in solving the dunya can breed needless negativity/resentment. Not all problems are meant to be fixed. Some simply have to be endured for their time.

      May Allah(SWT) make it easy for you.

       

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