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    Help: My friend lost his religion

    Salam everyone,

    I'm having a serious problem. I have known a decent and kind young man who grew up as a muslim but lost his faith. We have the same culture: we're Moroccans, but born and raised in Western-Europe. We fell madly love with each other, and I thought it was just a phase of not praying etc, like some of the youth sometimes has. But after some time, I've come to realize that there is no future for us because of his doubts about islam. I wish I could help him, but I can't do this on my own.

    He claims he tried, went to the mosque, asked for a sign, read the Qur'an etc but he can't seem to embrace it anymore. He also claims I'm blindly following rules instead of questioning life. I grew up as a muslim hamdoulilah and I try to stick by those rules where possible. I know I'm not perfect.

    But talking to him again about islam made me uncomfortable because he cornered me and I couldn't give any reply that suited him. It made me realize I don't know enough about islam to help someone get back on the right Path again. It hurts me, it hurts us both but we can't do anything about it.

    I get questions like: why are we privileged to grow up in a muslim family, while a Chinese kid does not have that? How random is that? Why would Allah let a child suffer? Why don't my good deeds counts if I'm not muslim? Why does God not respond to my du'a when I asked him to guide me to the right Path? Why can't I feel what you feel about religion? Why are you so sure that islam is the right religion? No one came back from the dead to say there is indeed a Herafter, ...


    My question to you is: what type of arguments could help make a very analytical person understand the importance of islam? And how to help someone who is this lost? I'm not even doing this so that we might have a future as husband and wife, it just breaks my heart to see he's losing his faith.

    Wasalam,

    #2
    Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

    Originally posted by Sarra View Post
    Salam everyone,

    I'm having a serious problem. I have known a decent and kind young man who grew up as a muslim but lost his faith. We have the same culture: we're Moroccans, but born and raised in Western-Europe. We fell madly love with each other, and I thought it was just a phase of not praying etc, like some of the youth sometimes has. But after some time, I've come to realize that there is no future for us because of his doubts about islam. I wish I could help him, but I can't do this on my own.

    He claims he tried, went to the mosque, asked for a sign, read the Qur'an etc but he can't seem to embrace it anymore. He also claims I'm blindly following rules instead of questioning life. I grew up as a muslim hamdoulilah and I try to stick by those rules where possible. I know I'm not perfect.

    But talking to him again about islam made me uncomfortable because he cornered me and I couldn't give any reply that suited him. It made me realize I don't know enough about islam to help someone get back on the right Path again. It hurts me, it hurts us both but we can't do anything about it.

    I get questions like: why are we privileged to grow up in a muslim family, while a Chinese kid does not have that? How random is that? Why would Allah let a child suffer? Why don't my good deeds counts if I'm not muslim? Why does God not respond to my du'a when I asked him to guide me to the right Path? Why can't I feel what you feel about religion? Why are you so sure that islam is the right religion? No one came back from the dead to say there is indeed a Herafter, ...


    My question to you is: what type of arguments could help make a very analytical person understand the importance of islam? And how to help someone who is this lost? I'm not even doing this so that we might have a future as husband and wife, it just breaks my heart to see he's losing his faith.

    Wasalam,
    Waalaikumsalam.

    I feel so sad whenI read your friend's situation. Please don't argue with him, just don't. Because if you try otanswer it and your answer was wrong, it will make him sure that Islam is not the right religion. Go to the nearest scholar and let the scholar answer those question. Everytime he argue with you please answer "I don't know, but I am sure the scholar know the answer. Let's go the scholar togather"
    May Allah guide your friends. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.

    AllhuAlam

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

      Salaam,

      Same thing happened to my friend unfortunately, I tried everything to convince him, many debates but unfortunately nothing. Allah can guide them back so we just have to make dua.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

        Originally posted by Sarra View Post
        Salam everyone,

        I'm having a serious problem. I have known a decent and kind young man who grew up as a muslim but lost his faith. We have the same culture: we're Moroccans, but born and raised in Western-Europe. We fell madly love with each other, and I thought it was just a phase of not praying etc, like some of the youth sometimes has. But after some time, I've come to realize that there is no future for us because of his doubts about islam. I wish I could help him, but I can't do this on my own.

        He claims he tried, went to the mosque, asked for a sign, read the Qur'an etc but he can't seem to embrace it anymore. He also claims I'm blindly following rules instead of questioning life. I grew up as a muslim hamdoulilah and I try to stick by those rules where possible. I know I'm not perfect.

        But talking to him again about islam made me uncomfortable because he cornered me and I couldn't give any reply that suited him. It made me realize I don't know enough about islam to help someone get back on the right Path again. It hurts me, it hurts us both but we can't do anything about it.

        I get questions like: why are we privileged to grow up in a muslim family, while a Chinese kid does not have that? How random is that? Why would Allah let a child suffer? Why don't my good deeds counts if I'm not muslim? Why does God not respond to my du'a when I asked him to guide me to the right Path? Why can't I feel what you feel about religion? Why are you so sure that islam is the right religion? No one came back from the dead to say there is indeed a Herafter, ...


        My question to you is: what type of arguments could help make a very analytical person understand the importance of islam? And how to help someone who is this lost? I'm not even doing this so that we might have a future as husband and wife, it just breaks my heart to see he's losing his faith.

        Wasalam,
        alaikuum waslam

        Allah guides whom He wills and leaves astray whom He wills.

        there are muslims in China,more than 20 million,so yes Allah guides chinese to Islam when He wills it.

        I'm white,grew up celebrating christmas in a non-religious household and now I'm muslim,
        your friend grew up muslim and now he's not
        again it comes down to who Allah guides and who he does not
        that is not for us to question.

        Comment


          #5
          Help: My friend lost his religion

          I have a friend...

          He used to be a muslim and he told me about his doubts and questions about islam

          He went to uni to study philosophy and now he’s an atheist

          I dont really talk to him much now though

          He was quite a close friend. We both had doubts about our faith. I became more convinced of my faith and became attached and him less so. He’s an atheist and im a muslim.

          Hmm

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

            Originally posted by Faith reloaded View Post
            I have a friend...

            He used to be a muslim and he told me about his doubts and questions about islam

            He went to uni to study philosophy and now he’s an atheist

            I dont really talk to him much now though

            He was quite a close friend. We both had doubts about our faith. I became more convinced of my faith and became attached and him less so. He’s an atheist and im a muslim.

            Hmm
            Just remind him how pointless his life is an atheist, and how everything means nothing.

            Watch how he slowly comes back begging for Islam.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

              Sounds more like he didn't want to believe but at the same time he did, but his desires got the better of him, simply it comes down to the fact that he should know better that Allah has the right to do what he wills, so his questions are meaningless and based on his own desires just to have an excuse and feel good about disbelieving

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                Get away from him b4 he makes you have leave your religion

                And never start a marriage through haram means it will most likely lead to disasters

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                  I am sorry to hear what you are going through :(. I know it's very difficult loving someone who isn't practicing Islam.

                  I am not sure if I can help you with all your questions as I am not the most educated person on Islam. However, I was asking myself same the question he is asking you "Why would Allah let a child suffer?" long time ago.

                  I was reading somewhere that one of our prophets (I am not sure which one) spoke to Allah and asked him about all the suffering of innocent people, all the poor people and the innocent children that suffer. He asked Allah something in the form of "Does he see all that?"

                  Allah's response was something like "Yes I see that, but I created YOU so YOU can try and fix that".

                  ^If the above is true and someone has the source of this please share it.

                  In another lecture of Mufti Menk, he mentioned for an example if you see something that makes you sad, like a child that is blind and you ask yourself "Why would Allah allow that?"

                  Menk mentioned, "Maybe that kid was created by Allah so it can serve as a test to the people around them". If you watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25lgslCx5_8 go at 5:30 seconds and you will hear his speech about it.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                    Walaykum salam,
                    I am concerned that the more you try to spend time debating him, the more he'll try to sway you over to his way of thinking, in which case it would be better to distance yourself from him than to be led astray. I have encountered people like this many times before who have asked the same questions he has as this line of questioning is really nothing new- in fact Stephen Fry had a famous rant a couple of years ago in which he said similar things. It's not that I am unable to provide an appropriate answer to such people, rather that they have closed their ears and their minds to the point that even if they hear the truth from Allah (swt) and all the verification that can prove that Allah's promise is indeed true- even that is not enough for them because they have chosen misguidance over guidance. They hope that your lack of knowledge in answering certain things will cause you to be misguided too, but if you give them the correct answer that could lead them back to the right path, it makes them furious and they become enraged towards you in the hope that intimidating you will stop you from thinking clearly or make you think you've done something wrong when you haven't.

                    I've heard people say that if Allah showed a sign, displayed His power so that everyone would know He is real then of course that would prove everything and I'd follow him... but then look at the followers of Musa (as). They literally had the sea parted for them and food falling from the sky to feed them, yet when Musa (as) spent some time away from them, they started worshipping the golden calf. Weren't those miracles enough of a sign or proof for them? So it is not true that if these people "saw proof" they would believe, because they have chosen their desires instead. There are many examples such as these that can prove them wrong but like I said cos' I've experienced these debates before; usually such people aren't looking for answers or the truth (even though they say they are). They have formed a viewpoint based on their own conjecture (in Quran its says they follow nothing but conjecture) and are now scrambling to find excuses to allow them to maintain that position due to cognitive dissonance, not any search for truth or proof. If you attempt to debate him and give answers; you'll probably find this all out the hard way.
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                      Qur'an 16:98 - When thou dost read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one.

                      Qur'an 91:7-10 -
                      And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it
                      And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,

                      He has succeeded who purifies it,
                      And he has failed who instills it [with corruption].

                      Qur'an 19:69-72 -
                      Then We will surely extract from every sect those of them who were worst against the Most Merciful in insolence.
                      Then, surely it is We who are most knowing of those most worthy of burning therein.
                      And there is none of you except he will come to it. This is upon your Lord an inevitability decreed.
                      Then We will save those who feared Allah and leave the wrongdoers within it, on their knees.

                      Sahih al-Bukhari 6467
                      Narrated `Aisha:
                      The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and receive good news because one's good deeds will not make him enter Paradise." They asked, "Even you, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)?" He said, "Even I, unless and until Allah bestows His pardon and Mercy on me."

                      Sahih al-Bukhari 7376
                      Narrated Jarir bin `Abdullah:
                      Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind."


                      Sahih al-Bukhari 7047
                      ...And the tall man whom you saw in the garden, is Abraham and the children around him are those children who die with Al-Fitra (the Islamic Faith). The narrator added: Some Muslims asked the Prophet, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! What about the children of pagans?" The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, "And also the children of pagans."...

                      Riyad as-Salihin Hadith 423
                      Abu Ayyub Khalid bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
                      Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Were you not to commit sins, Allah would create people who would commit sins and ask for forgiveness and He would forgive them".

                      [Muslim].

                      Sahih al-Bukhari 5999
                      Narrated `Umar bin Al-Khattab:
                      ...a woman amongst them was milking her breasts to feed and whenever she found a child amongst the captives, she took it over her chest and nursed it (she had lost her child but later she found him) the Prophet said to us, "Do you think that this lady can throw her son in the fire?" We replied, "No, if she has the power not to throw it (in the fire)." The Prophet (ﷺ) then said, "Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this lady to her son."



                      Only Allah () knows best.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                        Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                        Salam everyone,

                        I'm having a serious problem. I have known a decent and kind young man who grew up as a muslim but lost his faith. We have the same culture: we're Moroccans, but born and raised in Western-Europe. We fell madly love with each other, and I thought it was just a phase of not praying etc, like some of the youth sometimes has. But after some time, I've come to realize that there is no future for us because of his doubts about islam. I wish I could help him, but I can't do this on my own.

                        He claims he tried, went to the mosque, asked for a sign, read the Qur'an etc but he can't seem to embrace it anymore. He also claims I'm blindly following rules instead of questioning life. I grew up as a muslim hamdoulilah and I try to stick by those rules where possible. I know I'm not perfect.

                        But talking to him again about islam made me uncomfortable because he cornered me and I couldn't give any reply that suited him. It made me realize I don't know enough about islam to help someone get back on the right Path again. It hurts me, it hurts us both but we can't do anything about it.

                        I get questions like: why are we privileged to grow up in a muslim family, while a Chinese kid does not have that? How random is that? Why would Allah let a child suffer? Why don't my good deeds counts if I'm not muslim? Why does God not respond to my du'a when I asked him to guide me to the right Path? Why can't I feel what you feel about religion? Why are you so sure that islam is the right religion? No one came back from the dead to say there is indeed a Herafter, ...


                        My question to you is: what type of arguments could help make a very analytical person understand the importance of islam? And how to help someone who is this lost? I'm not even doing this so that we might have a future as husband and wife, it just breaks my heart to see he's losing his faith.

                        Wasalam,
                        Let's start with problem number 1.

                        Why are you friends with a non-mehrem man, when Islam doesn't allow such relationships?
                        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                          Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                          Salam everyone,

                          I'm having a serious problem. I have known a decent and kind young man who grew up as a muslim but lost his faith. We have the same culture: we're Moroccans, but born and raised in Western-Europe. We fell madly love with each other, and I thought it was just a phase of not praying etc, like some of the youth sometimes has. But after some time, I've come to realize that there is no future for us because of his doubts about islam. I wish I could help him, but I can't do this on my own.

                          He claims he tried, went to the mosque, asked for a sign, read the Qur'an etc but he can't seem to embrace it anymore. He also claims I'm blindly following rules instead of questioning life. I grew up as a muslim hamdoulilah and I try to stick by those rules where possible. I know I'm not perfect.

                          But talking to him again about islam made me uncomfortable because he cornered me and I couldn't give any reply that suited him. It made me realize I don't know enough about islam to help someone get back on the right Path again. It hurts me, it hurts us both but we can't do anything about it.

                          I get questions like: why are we privileged to grow up in a muslim family, while a Chinese kid does not have that? How random is that? Why would Allah let a child suffer? Why don't my good deeds counts if I'm not muslim? Why does God not respond to my du'a when I asked him to guide me to the right Path? Why can't I feel what you feel about religion? Why are you so sure that islam is the right religion? No one came back from the dead to say there is indeed a Herafter, ...


                          My question to you is: what type of arguments could help make a very analytical person understand the importance of islam? And how to help someone who is this lost? I'm not even doing this so that we might have a future as husband and wife, it just breaks my heart to see he's losing his faith.

                          Wasalam,
                          Wa alaikumsalam,, regarding the questions part, I've asked the same questions myself too. Ask him to.go speak to an imam/scholar. Ask him to have an open mind/heart.
                          ┳┻|
                          ┻┳|•.•) Hello, Assalamu Alaikum! Check out this topic! #makethechanges
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                          :banbear:http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...adan-Authentic:hidban:

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            Why don't my good deeds counts if I'm not muslim?
                            Qur'an 16:98 - When thou dost read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one.
                            Qur'an 2:286 - On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns.....

                            Qur'an 18:103-105 - Say, [O Muhammad], “Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds? [They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work.” Those are the ones who disbelieve in the verses of their Lord and in [their] meeting Him, so their deeds have become worthless; and We will not assign to them on the Day of Resurrection any importance.

                            Qur'an 6:42 - And We have already sent [messengers] to nations before you, [O Muhammad]; then We seized them with poverty and hardship that perhaps they might humble themselves [to Us].
                            Qur'an 6:43 - Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing.
                            Qur'an 6:44 - So when they forgot that by which they had been reminded, We opened to them the doors of every [good] thing until, when they rejoiced in that which they were given, We seized them suddenly, and they were [then] in despair.
                            Qur'an 6:45 - So the people that committed wrong were eliminated. And praise to Allah , Lord of the worlds.
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            Why does God not respond to my du'a when I asked him to guide me to the right Path?
                            Qur'an 19:76 - "And Allah doth advance in guidance those who seek guidance: and the things that endure, Good Deeds, are best in the sight of thy Lord, as rewards, and best in respect of (their) eventual return."
                            Qur'an 2:2 - This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah -
                            Qur'an 10:57 - O mankind, there has to come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for what is in the breasts and guidance and mercy for the believers.
                            Qur'an 10:100 - And it is not for a soul to believe except by permission of Allah , and He will place defilement upon those who will not use reason.
                            Qur'an 10:108 - Say, "O mankind, the truth has come to you from your Lord, so whoever is guided is only guided for [the benefit of] his soul, and whoever goes astray only goes astray [in violation] against it. And I am not over you a manager."
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            Why can't I feel what you feel about religion?
                            Qur'an 8:22 - Indeed, the worst of living creatures in the sight of Allah are the deaf and dumb who do not use reason.
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            Why are you so sure that islam is the right religion?
                            Qur'an 2:135 - They say, "Be Jews or Christians [so] you will be guided." Say, "Rather, [we follow] the religion of Abraham, inclining toward truth, and he was not of the polytheists."
                            Qur'an 6:161 - Say, "Indeed, my Lord has guided me to a straight path - a correct religion - the way of Abraham, inclining toward truth. And he was not among those who associated others with Allah ."
                            Qur'an 6:79 - Indeed, I have turned my face toward He who created the heavens and the earth, inclining toward truth, and I am not of those who associate others with Allah ."
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            No one came back from the dead to say there is indeed a Herafter, ...
                            Qur'an 27:65 - Say, "None in the heavens and earth knows the unseen except Allah , and they do not perceive when they will be resurrected."
                            Qur'an 27:66 - Rather, their knowledge is arrested concerning the Hereafter. Rather, they are in doubt about it. Rather, they are, concerning it, blind.
                            Qur'an 17:49 - They say: "What! when we are reduced to bones and dust, should we really be raised up (to be) a new creation?"
                            Qur'an 17:50 - Say, "Be you stones or iron
                            Qur'an 17:51 - Or some created thing that is yet greater in your thoughts! Then they will say: Who shall bring us back (to life). Say: He Who created you at the first. Then will they shake their heads at thee, and say: When will it be? Say: It will perhaps be soon;
                            Qur'an 17:52 - On the Day He will call you and you will respond with praise of Him and think that you had not remained [in the world] except for a little."

                            Qur'an 6:109 - And they swear by Allah their strongest oaths that if a sign came to them, they would surely believe in it. Say, "The signs are only with Allah ." And what will make you perceive that even if a sign came, they would not believe.
                            Qur'an 6:110 - And We will turn away their hearts and their eyes just as they refused to believe in it the first time. And We will leave them in their transgression, wandering blindly.
                            Qur'an 6:111 - And even if We had sent down to them the angels [with the message] and the dead spoke to them [of it] and We gathered together every [created] thing in front of them, they would not believe unless Allah should will. But most of them, [of that], are ignorant.
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            My question to you is: what type of arguments could help make a very analytical person understand the importance of islam?
                            Qur'an 6:19 - Say, "What thing is greatest in testimony?" Say, " Allah is witness between me and you. And this Qur'an was revealed to me that I may warn you thereby and whomever it reaches. Do you [truly] testify that with Allah there are other deities?" Say, "I will not testify [with you]." Say, "Indeed, He is but one God, and indeed, I am free of what you associate [with Him]."
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            And how to help someone who is this lost?
                            Qur'an 6:39 - But those who deny Our verses are deaf and dumb within darknesses. Whomever Allah wills - He leaves astray; and whomever He wills - He puts him on a straight path.
                            Originally posted by Sarra View Post
                            I'm not even doing this so that we might have a future as husband and wife, it just breaks my heart to see he's losing his faith.

                            Wasalam,
                            Wa Alaikum Assalam
                            Qur'an 12:105 - And how many a sign within the heavens and earth do they pass over while they, therefrom, are turning away.

                            Qur'an 91:8 - And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,

                            Qur'an 4:82 - Then do they not reflect upon the Qur'an? If it had been from [any] other than Allah , they would have found within it much contradiction.

                            Can babies discern between good and evil? Alhamdulillah.


                            Only Allah () knows best.
                            Last edited by tumbirs; 10-11-17, 02:50 AM. Reason: clarifying

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Help: My friend lost his religion

                              Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                              Let's start with problem number 1.

                              Why are you friends with a non-mehrem man, when Islam doesn't allow such relationships?
                              We are the only two Moroccans in our class when we were studying. So I guess it created a bond in terms of: "Heeey, another Moroccan!". At first it was just class mates but we did one project together and that caused us to spend more time together and getting to know each other.

                              Comment

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