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    #16
    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
    salam alaikum

    One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

    any suggestions on how I should handle this?

    I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.
    :wswrwb:

    It's good you should feel uncomfortable speaking to her, the point where you feel comfortable speaking to a ghair mahram woman then go looking for your emaan because you've clearly left it behind somewhere and emaan is not just in the heart, but in the actions of the limbs and speech of the tongue as well as reported from the understanding of the salaf.

    The easy answer is find a sister to give her da'wah, that way it removes the fitnah from yourself and puts that barrier back in place, however that is not always possible. I volunteer in the field of Da'wah and even I struggle to find sisters willing and able to take up such work, brothers sometimes also at times.

    So perhaps a better way is to take a chaperone, someone to make sure you two are not alone together when you visit this women to fix her sink, so a relative, your sister if you have one, or a friend if not. You can make an excuse you are showing them how to fix sinks, or else just be honest which is better and tell this lady it is because in Islam men and women are meant to avoid being alone together.

    As for the actual da'wah, depends on what stage she is at.

    If she is just curious, answer her questions honestly, where you don't know say 'I don't know' and then say you'll get her answer, then do your best to do so. Take her a few things to read as gifts.

    If she is very strongly interested, then I use a different approach. I will talk generally about the deen, then mention it's shows credit to them to be so open minded, ask them what attracts them to Islam when everyone else is being so negative about Islam at the moment. Build up a positive mental image for her.
    Then I hit her with a big question, such as if Islam is so good what is stopping you becoming Muslim?
    Then calmly and politely knock down and show as illogical any objection they can bring, Allah willing.

    Hope that is some help and glad to see you're keeping up the manly arts of sink fixing, I am next to useless as most jobs around the house myself, much to my embarrassment.
    FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

    www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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      #17
      Re: Dawah to a neighbor

      JazakAllah khair for your response

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Dawah to a neighbor

        Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
        salam alaikum

        One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

        any suggestions on how I should handle this?

        I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.
        Don't. It is only deception and temptation to give dawah to the opposite sex.

        Mixing between men and women at work has bad consequences and obvious evil effects on both men and women, including the following:

        1 – Haraam looking. Allaah has commanded both believing men and believing women to lower their gaze. He says (interpretation of the meaning):

        “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.

        31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent…”

        [al-Noor 24:30-31]

        In Saheeh Muslim (2159) it is narrated that Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about an accidental glance and he ordered me to avert my gaze.

        2 – It may result in haraam touching., which includes shaking hands. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani from Ma’qil ibn Yasaar; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 5045.

        3 – Mixing may lead to a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, which is haraam because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the third one present is the shaytaan.” Narated by al-Tirmidhi (2165); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

        According to another report: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the shaytaan.” Narrated by Ahmad and classed as saheeh by al-Hakaim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him; it was also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam (180).

        4 – Another of its evil consequences is when a man becomes infatuated with a woman, or vice versa, which is due to mixing and prolonged interaction.

        5 – That may lead to the break-up of families. How many men have neglected their wives and lost their families, because they were infatuated with a female classmate or colleague? How many women have lost their husbands and neglected their homes for the same reason. Indeed, how many cases of divorce have been caused by haraam relationships formed by the husband or wife, and mixing at work was the thing that lead to that.

        https://islamqa.info/en/103044
        Last edited by Abu Humza; 31-10-17, 03:15 PM.

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          #19
          Re: Dawah to a neighbor

          Update;

          I briefly spoke to my neighbor and she has started making dua to Allah swt,alhamdulillah snd has started reading the Quran. She is having some difficulty in reading the Quran as she finds it"random", the non linear,non-chronological nature of the Quran is something that I found difficult in the beginning as well.

          When she came by she was mostly covered,longish skirt and over sized sweater,as she wanted to respect the religion which i found very impressive, I had explained to her the purpose of hijab previously and it seems like she has understood.

          I'm still not comfortable being alone with her and I'm thinking that meeting at a busy coffee shop once a week would be better than being alone with her,not ideal in any way but better than the current situation.

          I'm thinking that if she believes in the basics of Islam and takes shahada then marrying her will solve the problem of not being alone with a non-mahram but there's quit a bit of info and practice she needs to get down first.

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            #20
            Re: Dawah to a neighbor

            The deceptions of the devil...
            You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

            You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Dawah to a neighbor

              Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
              Update;

              I briefly spoke to my neighbor and she has started making dua to Allah swt,alhamdulillah snd has started reading the Quran. She is having some difficulty in reading the Quran as she finds it"random", the non linear,non-chronological nature of the Quran is something that I found difficult in the beginning as well.

              When she came by she was mostly covered,longish skirt and over sized sweater,as she wanted to respect the religion which i found very impressive, I had explained to her the purpose of hijab previously and it seems like she has understood.

              I'm still not comfortable being alone with her and I'm thinking that meeting at a busy coffee shop once a week would be better than being alone with her,not ideal in any way but better than the current situation.

              I'm thinking that if she believes in the basics of Islam and takes shahada then marrying her will solve the problem of not being alone with a non-mahram but there's quit a bit of info and practice she needs to get down first.
              SubhanAllah, has she converted or reading the English translation of the Quraan only?

              Ideally, as the other posters have mentioned, the Da'wah work should be given by a female to her, so that attraction/feelings are not intertwined with bringing her to Islam. If not, then you at least need some family of yours present (and perhaps the Da'wah work can extend to them too).

              Concerning your last point, it seems like maybe feelings have already developed for her. This is precisely the type of issue you should try to avoid.

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                Originally posted by horizon View Post
                SubhanAllah, has she converted or reading the English translation of the Quraan only?

                Ideally, as the other posters have mentioned, the Da'wah work should be given by a female to her, so that attraction/feelings are not intertwined with bringing her to Islam. If not, then you at least need some family of yours present (and perhaps the Da'wah work can extend to them too).

                Concerning your last point, it seems like maybe feelings have already developed for her. This is precisely the type of issue you should try to avoid.
                she is still reading the Quran and has not taken shahada yet

                If I knew of any muslimah from ahl us sunnah was jama'ah who would give dawah would I extricate myself from this situation without hesitation as I see the obvious danger to it.

                I'm the only muslim in my family so none of female relatives are able to step in. I have cousins who are religious but they are hardcore,brainwashed Jehovah's witnesses so i don't speak with them myself.

                She has tried hard to get me to like her by bring me food, gifts etc. and it's difficult to not see the good in her.
                I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort avoiding non-mahrams already and dawah is an obligation on all muslims so this is a balancing act for me.

                I've so far not taken advantage of my unique position of being able to bridge the gap between western culture which I was born and raised into and Al Islam that I have accepted for dawah and this could be a learning opportunity in that.

                But I must be mindful of the dangers at all times,like this guy

                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_daN71LSDEM
                Last edited by Samsandman; 03-11-17, 12:47 PM.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                  Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                  she is still reading the Quran and has not taken shahada yet

                  If I knew of any muslimah from ahl us sunnah was jama'ah who would give dawah would I extricate myself from this situation without hesitation as I see the obvious danger to it.

                  I'm the only muslim in my family so none of female relatives are able to step in. I have cousins who are religious but they are hardcore,brainwashed Jehovah's witnesses so i don't speak with them myself.

                  She has tried hard to get me to like her by bring me food, gifts etc. and it's difficult to not see the good in her.
                  I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort avoiding non-mahrams already and dawah is an obligation on all muslims so this is a balancing act for me.

                  I've so far not taken advantage of my unique position of being able to bridge the gap between western culture which I was born and raised into and Al Islam that I have accepted for dawah and this could be a learning opportunity in that.

                  But I must be mindful of the dangers at all times,like this guy

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_daN71LSDEM
                  Brother, we always refer to situations where the attraction in the man is present. It must also be kept in mind that (inshaAllah) her interest in Islam is stemming from her own beliefs and is not driven by her (assumed or likely) attraction towards you.

                  I strongly urge you to perhaps consult with user: Abu Mus'ab

                  He will, inshaAllah, be able to guide you about the best course of action to take in this scenario.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                    Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                    she is still reading the Quran and has not taken shahada yet

                    If I knew of any muslimah from ahl us sunnah was jama'ah who would give dawah would I extricate myself from this situation without hesitation as I see the obvious danger to it.

                    I'm the only muslim in my family so none of female relatives are able to step in. I have cousins who are religious but they are hardcore,brainwashed Jehovah's witnesses so i don't speak with them myself.

                    She has tried hard to get me to like her by bring me food, gifts etc. and it's difficult to not see the good in her.
                    I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort avoiding non-mahrams already and dawah is an obligation on all muslims so this is a balancing act for me.

                    I've so far not taken advantage of my unique position of being able to bridge the gap between western culture which I was born and raised into and Al Islam that I have accepted for dawah and this could be a learning opportunity in that.

                    But I must be mindful of the dangers at all times,like this guy

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_daN71LSDEM
                    what happened with this

                    also why don't you marry her?
                    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                      :wswrwb:

                      Do you have female members in your family who can befriend her and give her da'wah?

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                        Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                        what happened with this

                        also why don't you marry her?
                        I totally fixed her sink like I said I would, she is really happy about that.
                        she tried to pay cash me but I refused as I know she doesn't have a high paying job but I left her feed me,she is excellent cook.

                        Marry her,
                        That's a good idea! lol

                        If she takes shahada sincerely then it becomes a possibility but I won't rush here as dawah is a delicate matter.
                        The Nabi sallahu alyahi wasalam spents 10 years teaching the sahaba JUST tawheed and that is the correct method of dawah
                        Keep in mind she knows very,very little about Islam right now and most people don't immediately accept Islam and say shahada upon being explained the basics tawheed.

                        I look at it this way correct dawah is like planting a seed,if the conditions are right and the soil is fertile(by the Grace and permission of Allah swt) then the seed sprouts.
                        When seedings are very young they are tender and delicate so you don't hasten to put them into harsh or difficult conditions or dump gallons of water on them, They need careful nurturing until the have some firm roots and develop some good leaves.

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                          Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                          :wswrwb:

                          Do you have female members in your family who can befriend her and give her da'wah?
                          No I covered that above,I'm a revert and only muslim in my family. I don't know of any female reverts who are firmly ahl us Sunnah and can give dawah.
                          There is a dawah group at the Univiversity but they mostly have messed up Sufi/murjiah aqeedah and the group is full of shady marriage bandits looking to preying upon new converts.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                            Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                            I totally fixed her sink like I said I would, she is really happy about that.
                            she tried to pay cash me but I refused as I know she doesn't have a high paying job but I left her feed me,she is excellent cook.

                            Marry her,
                            That's a good idea! lol

                            If she takes shahada sincerely then it becomes a possibility but I won't rush here as dawah is a delicate matter.
                            The Nabi sallahu alyahi wasalam spents 10 years teaching the sahaba JUST tawheed and that is the correct method of dawah
                            Keep in mind she knows very,very little about Islam right now and most people don't immediately accept Islam and say shahada upon being explained the basics tawheed.

                            I look at it this way correct dawah is like planting a seed,if the conditions are right and the soil is fertile(by the Grace and permission of Allah swt) then the seed sprouts.
                            When seedings are very young they are tender and delicate so you don't hasten to put them into harsh or difficult conditions or dump gallons of water on them, They need careful nurturing until the have some firm roots and develop some good leaves.
                            That's very nice and kind allahumma baarik

                            tbh I think I am too harsh sometimes cos if I care about someone and they don't meet the conditions Islam has laid for us, I take it too personally instead of being nurturing so :jkk: for the tip

                            well I thought maybe u could mention that u are pleased with some of her characteristics and u would hope that she would become Muslim so that u could marry her.... but then I guess maybe this will create more fitna and then maybe she will learn of Islam more with the intent to marry u rather than something she wants to look more into. Ok well inshaAllah she will become Muslim soon and if she is good for u, then maybe also ur wife.

                            I just said that cos tbh I never used to reply to ur posts cos I said already I used to find u quite scary cos of all those posts in the jinn section but then since u started spreading ur wings a bit I forgot the fear. But anyway point being from the posts I have read it seems that ur emaan is quite strong allahumma baarik and so shaitaan has the perfect way to weaken it. By using the biggest fitna to man.... so like where some people's faith would waiver with the unseen in terms of the spooky sense, I hope urs will not waiver with the unseen in terms of the silent words of the heart sense
                            ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                            "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                            :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                              Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                              No I covered that above,I'm a revert and only muslim in my family. I don't know of any female reverts who are firmly ahl us Sunnah and can give dawah.
                              There is a dawah group at the Univiversity but they mostly have messed up Sufi/murjiah aqeedah and the group is full of shady marriage bandits looking to preying upon new converts.
                              و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

                              I have same issue with a brother who wants to know about Islam but we communicate through internet ....

                              Anyways you can give her this website

                              www.Islamreligion.com
                              Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
                              The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
                              )

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Dawah to a neighbor

                                Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                                That's very nice and kind allahumma baarik

                                tbh I think I am too harsh sometimes cos if I care about someone and they don't meet the conditions Islam has laid for us, I take it too personally instead of being nurturing so :jkk: for the tip

                                well I thought maybe u could mention that u are pleased with some of her characteristics and u would hope that she would become Muslim so that u could marry her.... but then I guess maybe this will create more fitna and then maybe she will learn of Islam more with the intent to marry u rather than something she wants to look more into. Ok well inshaAllah she will become Muslim soon and if she is good for u, then maybe also ur wife.

                                I just said that cos tbh I never used to reply to ur posts cos I said already I used to find u quite scary cos of all those posts in the jinn section but then since u started spreading ur wings a bit I forgot the fear. But anyway point being from the posts I have read it seems that ur emaan is quite strong allahumma baarik and so shaitaan has the perfect way to weaken it. By using the biggest fitna to man.... so like where some people's faith would waiver with the unseen in terms of the spooky sense, I hope urs will not waiver with the unseen in terms of the silent words of the heart sense
                                I was pretty harsh when I first became muslim as I had rough time from many muslims I met. They had totally unrealstic expectations of me in the beginngs and were pretty openly racist. Yes I understand that many muslims from over seas have a chip on their shoulder towards white men due to colonization etc but I personally had nothing to do with any of that.

                                Hopefully ,if I do go down that path, I can be supportive and understanding of the difficulties of being a new muslim as I got a baptsim by fire(pardon the expression) and it was sink or swim on my own in Islam which is very taxing on ones Iman. I like to think it made me take the deen more seriously as no one was going to coddle me.

                                Am I being tested with this woman?without a doubt. at times I could hear the was was of shaytan as he tried to mess with my intention and feel his greasy tentacle as tehy tried to wrap themselves around my heart, It's a battle for sure but overcoming those whisperings is a victory and every victory over shaytan is a great victory.

                                I have complimented her on her character and surprisinglt sound fitrah but that is a tricky business as innocent and sincere compliments can quickly lead to outright flirting.

                                I thank Allah swt that He has put this test before when I am more able to see and understand the dangers and also the possible benefits. I also thank Allah awj that he choose ME for this test and not one of my brothers who might have weaker Iman and would have certainly fallen into Zina. I'm not as ypung and dumb as I used to be and have learn a lot about how women operate in my years so I have been on guard as I know how women can weaken a man with their charms and many women have perfected this art. It's not easy to resist a good looking woman especially for a lonely brother but Those Whom Allah swt loves the most he tests the most.

                                People fear what the don't know and learning the deen and aquiring knowledge helps to kill that fear. There are some brothers who see me come into the masjid and get the deer in headlights look as they have never seen a white male revert and I can have a rather intimidating look to me. Viking-like beard and camoflauge clothing kinda makes me look like a hillbilly off Duck dynasty,LOL

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