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    my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

    so i found out today that a work colleague is a ex-muslim and he feels strong about it too no matter how i tell him he is being stupid, the question is do i stop talking to him? since he was on the truth but chose the wrong path knowingly

    #2
    Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

    Originally posted by babadods View Post
    so i found out today that a work colleague is a ex-muslim and he feels strong about it too no matter how i tell him he is being stupid, the question is do i stop talking to him? since he was on the truth but chose the wrong path knowingly
    This is only my opinion so take it with a grain of salt

    Give him dawah and call him to Islam. Frequently ex Muslims leave Islam not because of Islam but because of jahil cultural practices portrayed as Islam

    If you can figure out why he left and clarify the issue for him then Alhamdulilah. I'm not saying he will listen but your job isn't to make him believe your job is to convey the message

    Ex Muslims can be arrogant and obnoxious so this might be possible but if you can reason with him then do so
    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

      Originally posted by babadods View Post
      so i found out today that a work colleague is a ex-muslim and he feels strong about it too no matter how i tell him he is being stupid, the question is do i stop talking to him? since he was on the truth but chose the wrong path knowingly
      "wow... you told him he was stupid, and you were even good enough to do it more than once and still he never changed!"

      OK, let's back up a few steps here. Is this the right method in giving da'wah, is this the kind words and beautiful preaching mentioned in the Quran? Maybe you'd tried all that already, but I cannot think of a single time I've called someone dumb or stupid and it's helped an argument get to a good conclusion, not one single time.

      In my experience ex-Muslims fall into three types.

      - Liars
      - The arrogant
      - The sincerely misguided

      As for the liars, these are the vast majority. Most are not actually ex-Muslims and use the cover of being one as a status symbol among the kuffar, or to get attention because they are insignificant human beings in society otherwise. Almost always they were never on the deen, they just lie to provide themselves a story. If they had some family connection to Islam it has to be boosted to increase their credibility.

      In either case you can usually disprove their stories with just a couple of minutes of asking them to elaborate, such as asking "did you never learn about islam?" to which they list the years they went to madrasah or how their father was an imam, or some other such bakwas and then ask them a direct question even a beginner level madrassah student would know and they will fall about and you can then publicly expose them as a liar.

      As for the arrogant, they may have genuinely at least have been raised or reverted to the deen, to some degree but they become arrogant and reject aspects of islam because it doesn't conform to their desires or thoughts, they raise the nafs and aql to the level of being an ilah to be worshiped instead of Allah. They are similar to a munafiq, modernist, liberal and secularist 'Muslim' except as well as their regular kufr they taken the final step and fully come out of the deen and no longer even make a pretense of believing in Islam.

      Finally there are those who are lost, who for whatever reason Allah has chosen not to guide, and have fallen into disbelief and it is this last group I tend to find very receptive towards Islam if it is presented in the right way to them.

      So try to give this person da'wah in the right way, and then take it from there.
      FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

      www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

        I found the first and the second category,

        In fact almost all first category, imposters pretending to be former Muslims,

        We even had imbecilic Kuffar on the forum who claimed to be former Muslims, but couldn't even tell you the Shahada,

        Never met a sincerely misguided Murtad,

        :jkk:
        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

        Comment


          #5
          Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

          Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
          I found the first and the second category,

          In fact almost all first category, imposters pretending to be former Muslims,

          We even had imbecilic Kuffar on the forum who claimed to be former Muslims, but couldn't even tell you the Shahada,

          Never met a sincerely misguided Murtad,

          :jkk:
          sincere is perhaps the wrong word, genuinely misguided would perhaps be better.
          FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

          www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

            Originally posted by babadods View Post
            so i found out today that a work colleague is a ex-muslim and he feels strong about it too no matter how i tell him he is being stupid, the question is do i stop talking to him? since he was on the truth but chose the wrong path knowingly
            It's really hard but I think having impeccable manners is really key when dealing with such people. If you lose your cool, you just become another Muslim they can point at and say "see? this is why I left."
            And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
            http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

            Comment


              #7
              Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

              Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
              sincere is perhaps the wrong word, genuinely misguided would perhaps be better.
              The same akhi, I never met any such Murtad online or in real life,

              Majority turned out to be Kuffar pretending to have been muslim, and the ones that are arrogant, have issues accepting Allah عز و جل himself, they can't stand having to be judged, their God is their desires,

              نعوذ بالله من ذلك

              :jkk:
              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


                #8
                Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                Invite them over for some strawberry shortcake and politely discuss with them why they left Islam. Do not argue with them at all, only have a friendly conversation and try to correct any wrong beliefs they have in Islam.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                  stop talking to him he's cancer

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                    Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                    The same akhi, I never met any such Murtad online or in real life,

                    Majority turned out to be Kuffar pretending to have been muslim, and the ones that are arrogant, have issues accepting Allah عز و جل himself, they can't stand having to be judged, their God is their desires,

                    نعوذ بالله من ذلك

                    :jkk:
                    Yes, the vast majority are fakes. In my experience only 1 in 6 can be shown to be genuine, the rest were fakes and not even ones who were any good at it. I think missionaries rely upon the fact that Muslims would not normally lie about this stuff or expect others to lie about it, so to take them at face value.
                    FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                    www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                      Originally posted by babadods View Post
                      so i found out today that a work colleague is a ex-muslim and he feels strong about it too no matter how i tell him he is being stupid, the question is do i stop talking to him? since he was on the truth but chose the wrong path knowingly
                      Don't talk to him.
                      You're both employed to do your jobs, not engage in heated religious debates - and they will get heated - which will make the two of you careless at your jobs and distract and amuse or irritate your other colleagues.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                        Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
                        "wow... you told him he was stupid, and you were even good enough to do it more than once and still he never changed!"

                        OK, let's back up a few steps here. Is this the right method in giving da'wah, is this the kind words and beautiful preaching mentioned in the Quran? Maybe you'd tried all that already, but I cannot think of a single time I've called someone dumb or stupid and it's helped an argument get to a good conclusion, not one single time.

                        In my experience ex-Muslims fall into three types.

                        - Liars
                        - The arrogant
                        - The sincerely misguided

                        As for the liars, these are the vast majority. Most are not actually ex-Muslims and use the cover of being one as a status symbol among the kuffar, or to get attention because they are insignificant human beings in society otherwise. Almost always they were never on the deen, they just lie to provide themselves a story. If they had some family connection to Islam it has to be boosted to increase their credibility.

                        In either case you can usually disprove their stories with just a couple of minutes of asking them to elaborate, such as asking "did you never learn about islam?" to which they list the years they went to madrasah or how their father was an imam, or some other such bakwas and then ask them a direct question even a beginner level madrassah student would know and they will fall about and you can then publicly expose them as a liar.

                        As for the arrogant, they may have genuinely at least have been raised or reverted to the deen, to some degree but they become arrogant and reject aspects of islam because it doesn't conform to their desires or thoughts, they raise the nafs and aql to the level of being an ilah to be worshiped instead of Allah. They are similar to a munafiq, modernist, liberal and secularist 'Muslim' except as well as their regular kufr they taken the final step and fully come out of the deen and no longer even make a pretense of believing in Islam.

                        Finally there are those who are lost, who for whatever reason Allah has chosen not to guide, and have fallen into disbelief and it is this last group I tend to find very receptive towards Islam if it is presented in the right way to them.

                        So try to give this person da'wah in the right way, and then take it from there.
                        This guy is as stubborn as abu jahl astagfirullah this is bugging me to the extent im find it very hard to think about anything else ive handed my notice in for work im not going to work in a place where im around such negativity ... Allah put kahir in what i do ameen. I swear emotionally i feel crap he is soo strong upon kufr that it makes you want to kill the lil ... Nm thing is im very hot tempered if anyone speak ill of islam and i dont wanna lose my cool then the company will end up telling the prevent guys (if ur in the uk you know what i mean) basically i can get locked for being extreme in my ways and this person isnt honourable they wouldn't hesitate to think 2x on getting me done.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                          Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
                          It's really hard but I think having impeccable manners is really key when dealing with such people. If you lose your cool, you just become another Muslim they can point at and say "see? this is why I left."
                          Yeah i get you sis ... I tried i swear i really did try im not a man of dawah and i dont see myself for for it i lose my head if someone says something ill of islam

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                            Originally posted by Abu Jarir View Post
                            stop talking to him he's cancer
                            I realised bro .. and that what i decided i swear my head is going kuku its the only thing popping into my head subhanAllah

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: my work colleague is an ex muslim - what should i do

                              Originally posted by babadods View Post
                              so i found out today that a work colleague is a ex-muslim and he feels strong about it too no matter how i tell him he is being stupid, the question is do i stop talking to him? since he was on the truth but chose the wrong path knowingly
                              Asalaamu Alaikum.

                              Firstly my brother we must realise that guidance is not in our hands and therefore no matter what we say or do none of us can change anyone's heart or bring imaan to them except Allah.

                              What happens is that such people have a defiecancy in their hearts which prevents Imaan from reaching them and this deficiency is arrogance that has grown within their hearts in that their Nafs refuses to believe what Allah has ordained and commanded and like Iblees they think they know better with regards to the wisdom of Allah. They are also ignorant to the proper teachings of Islam and have allowed their hearts to be corrupted with disbelief by the rhetoric of the disbelivers.

                              Therefore give your advice in the best way and manner using wisdom a and tact in your approach - every so often - never pester them or ridicule them - and then leave it at that.

                              Also do not spend time in the company of such people as "we are who we keep company with" and their corrupting influence will eventually have a negative affect on our own imaan.

                              Also make Dua for him that Allah guides him and know that if Imaan does not come to his heart then it maybe then Allah is wanting to punish such people.

                              May Allah guide those whose hearts have been corrupted with ignorance, arrogance and disbelief to the truth. Ameen
                              Last edited by hamza81; 17-07-17, 09:43 PM.
                              10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
                              http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=192926
                              Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!
                              http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=230798

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