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Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

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  • hamza81
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Abdell View Post
    I am a practicing Muslim and still do..lately during my fast and prayers I have lost the level of kushoo I had previously..why, well It's because I am jealous of the blessing other people have been blessed with...I know many people are in much worse conditions, but i still hate that I am very low.

    I feel bitter. I am starting to hate the western coomunity ummah. I go to salah, say salam and leave...I have no desire to befriend any muslim and due to my bitternes I have decided to distance myself away from people in my community. I still say salam back, but in my heart I wish i dont have to.

    Everyone is just so focused on the people of their own culture and kind here. Kuffars are less racist than my ummah. They're more tolerable of my kind. Some guy even thought I was dating his daughter istqfurllah and he was happy...people even want to coomunicate me.

    But this ummah..its nothing.

    No wonder the few reverts I know three years ago have turned their backs on Islam. Everyone is to focused on themselves. I made those guys feel at home and when I needed time off because of school..no one bothered to check on them.

    Why do I have to be the one handling these reverts and making them feel.welcomed huh? I'm tired!....

    The arabs, the africans, pakis..they all.have their small communities..besties etc.

    I'm out...I'm done with my community. I am going to travel to my orgina homeland and live a simple life.....

    I think the Muslim communities in the west are atrocious.

    This is what iblis felt when adam came I guess...
    Asalaamu Alaikum,

    My brother instead of focussing on the faults of others we need to look at ourselves and our own faults. When we make other people the focus arrogance and bitterness enters our heart. Sit and review yourself for a while and make alist of your own faults. You will find that you have many. Focus on improving yourself as a person. Just the fact that you are focussing on other peoples faults should be something you must change about yourself. It maybe that those who you find fault in are better than you in the sight of Allah.

    We need to think of ourselves as worse than others not better. That is the character of the Muslim. I recommend ytou read about the Life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and his character and the way he was towards others. You will find that he was very patient and tolerant. The fact that you seem so intolerant is not the trait of a Muslim.

    So during these last ten days and nights focus on yourself and what you need to change about yourself. Try to be more tolerant as a person and patient with others. Ask of llah to rid your heart of intolerance, bitterness and hatred. These are the traits of shaythan. A Muslim is patient, tolerant, makes excuses for others and gives benefit of the doubt. He focusses on himself first and not on others faults.

    A Muslim looks at themself first to see what they need to change about themselves and makes that the focus not the fault of others. You may or may not be able to change anyone else but you can change yourself and your character to be a better role model and like the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam).

    Also a Muslim can only be jealous of two types of people. One who has learned the Qur'an and teaches it to others and the one whom Allah has blessed with Halal income and he spends it in the path of Allah night and day.

    Therefore my brother ask of Allah during these blessed days and nights and focus on yourself and your faults. Try to find the root of your anger and bitterness. You will find that it maybe to do with who you are as a person rather than others.
    Last edited by hamza81; 26-06-16, 03:18 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • quark
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Abdell View Post
    I am a practicing Muslim and still do..lately during my fast and prayers I have lost the level of kushoo I had previously..why, well It's because I am jealous of the blessing other people have been blessed with...I know many people are in much worse conditions, but i still hate that I am very low.

    I feel bitter. I am starting to hate the western coomunity ummah. I go to salah, say salam and leave...I have no desire to befriend any muslim and due to my bitternes I have decided to distance myself away from people in my community. I still say salam back, but in my heart I wish i dont have to.

    Everyone is just so focused on the people of their own culture and kind here. Kuffars are less racist than my ummah. They're more tolerable of my kind. Some guy even thought I was dating his daughter istqfurllah and he was happy...people even want to coomunicate me.

    But this ummah..its nothing.

    No wonder the few reverts I know three years ago have turned their backs on Islam. Everyone is to focused on themselves. I made those guys feel at home and when I needed time off because of school..no one bothered to check on them.

    Why do I have to be the one handling these reverts and making them feel.welcomed huh? I'm tired!....

    The arabs, the africans, pakis..they all.have their small communities..besties etc.

    I'm out...I'm done with my community. I am going to travel to my orgina homeland and live a simple life.....

    I think the Muslim communities in the west are atrocious.

    This is what iblis felt when adam came I guess...
    What efforts have you taken to make and preserve friends? And why are you not friends with the reverts you check up on?
    Last edited by quark; 26-06-16, 12:43 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • علي
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
    You don't really need to offer advice... just to act as a muslim brother. Being friendly, talking and support a person who needs you is indeed a good deed towards your new muslim brother.
    It doesn't matter if you have problems or not. You will find the time to have a chat with someone if you care.

    I can say I have my own problems and my hardships but I can never say no to a person in need.
    I agree, I wasn't justifying inaction, but what I was saying is that people can sometimes be discouraged to the point of not showing up to even know that there is someone out there in need. Not saying this is right though, I agree with your points.

    Leave a comment:


  • Alina15
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Abdell View Post
    Why do I have to be the one handling these reverts and making them feel.welcomed huh? I'm tired!.....
    Do it for the sake of Allah swt. You will be rewarded for this. Be different from the people you don't like and try to always be a better example for your community.

    Leave a comment:


  • Alina15
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by علي View Post
    Man bro, what a comparison, may Allah not make us his example.

    The thing you need to realize is that a lot of people have their own problems as well. When I was in the USA (for university in particular), for a time I was one confused individual. There were a lot of bad feelings I had due to certain types of extremeness in my thinking, ignorance and just general hard headedness. You didn't want people like me talking with converts to the religion. The one time a brother did stay with me because he needed help, I just ended up giving him more money than I probably should have (was told at the masjid that I was supposed to go through them first) and having some rather awkward conversations. Al hamdulilah I still would see the brother at the masjid later on, but I felt like a lot of converts had very complex problems as well as a way of thinking that was quite different than mine. I just couldn't deal with them because I was too inexperienced to confidently offer advice and too much on my own to have much strength, I was disconnected from the rest of the Muslim community by and large at the time and had no car. I had my own problems I was struggling with, it didn't feel amazing for me either.

    And to a large extent, I'm still kind of like that. I don't know what advice to offer a lot of converts to the religion when confronted with their problems, specifically when they have relationship issues from their previous lives, or problems with finding work, etc. I just end up doing referring to more qualified people. I'm also a very private person, preferring to keep to my family and only occasionally going out with friends even though lillahil hamd I do very well in social situations, joking, talking about all sorts of crazy things/experiences, etc. But that's my nature.

    Worth noting I'm not in the USA any longer for this to be as relevant to me, I'm just saying there are reasons sometimes. I personally find the prospect very intimidating, and I suspect others do too sometimes. Not saying that's a good excuse, but it is what it is.

    You know, I think they should offer training for it come to think of it. A training course that teaches you how to answer those really tough life situation questions, what advice to give, how to word it, what steps to take, what signs to notice, etc. That would do wonders for boosting confidence, otherwise I feel like some of us (and I'm talking about myself here) can potentially be a detriment.
    You don't really need to offer advice... just to act as a muslim brother. Being friendly, talking and support a person who needs you is indeed a good deed towards your new muslim brother.
    It doesn't matter if you have problems or not. You will find the time to have a chat with someone if you care.

    I can say I have my own problems and my hardships but I can never say no to a person in need.

    Leave a comment:


  • علي
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Abdell View Post
    This is what iblis felt when adam came I guess...
    Man bro, what a comparison, may Allah not make us his example.

    The thing you need to realize is that a lot of people have their own problems as well. When I was in the USA (for university in particular), for a time I was one confused individual. There were a lot of bad feelings I had due to certain types of extremeness in my thinking, ignorance and just general hard headedness. You didn't want people like me talking with converts to the religion. The one time a brother did stay with me because he needed help, I just ended up giving him more money than I probably should have (was told at the masjid that I was supposed to go through them first) and having some rather awkward conversations. Al hamdulilah I still would see the brother at the masjid later on, but I felt like a lot of converts had very complex problems as well as a way of thinking that was quite different than mine. I just couldn't deal with them because I was too inexperienced to confidently offer advice and too much on my own to have much strength, I was disconnected from the rest of the Muslim community by and large at the time and had no car. I had my own problems I was struggling with, it didn't feel amazing for me either.

    And to a large extent, I'm still kind of like that. I don't know what advice to offer a lot of converts to the religion when confronted with their problems, specifically when they have relationship issues from their previous lives, or problems with finding work, etc. I just end up doing referring to more qualified people. I'm also a very private person, preferring to keep to my family and only occasionally going out with friends even though lillahil hamd I do very well in social situations, joking, talking about all sorts of crazy things/experiences, etc. But that's my nature.

    Worth noting I'm not in the USA any longer for this to be as relevant to me, I'm just saying there are reasons sometimes. I personally find the prospect very intimidating, and I suspect others do too sometimes. Not saying that's a good excuse, but it is what it is.

    You know, I think they should offer training for it come to think of it. A training course that teaches you how to answer those really tough life situation questions, what advice to give, how to word it, what steps to take, what signs to notice, etc. That would do wonders for boosting confidence, otherwise I feel like some of us (and I'm talking about myself here) can potentially be a detriment.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cptn._.Mario
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    This goes to me as well.

    disabled-man-leading-salat.jpg

    فبأي آلاء ربكما تكذبان

    So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?

    [Quran 55:13]

    Leave a comment:


  • snow_flakes
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Abdell View Post
    Its frustrating bro..I feel so bitter. I dont know if people are just racist..I feel like they are.

    Nowads iblis and his follwers have even put anger and bitternes in my reply to a salam. I dont want to have this feeling..but I cant shake it off. I hate everyone here.

    I thought before I came to north america, i would see Happy reverts. I thought I was going to fit in since I no longer have to deal with a 95% kaffir country..i was happy.

    Expectations

    All wrong.
    Sometimes i too feel frustrated at born muslims for not doing enough...but you shouldnt look to muslims as an inspiration rather than to our prophets and sahaba ra....Tribulations today are such that it ll make you turn away from islam but you ve to be strong,...Just hang on till you are able to do hajj...

    Leave a comment:


  • Spicen
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Abdell View Post
    Are you a revert?
    no.

    call me a migrant-sceptic muslim if you must.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abdell
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Spicen View Post
    Unless they are leaving islam to get citizenship, government benefits and a white wife.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...ing-jesus.html
    Are you a revert?

    Leave a comment:


  • Abdell
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by ibzy View Post
    It's not like that around here. Probably just the community you're living with.
    Are you a revert? Bron Muslims are oblivious to this issue.

    Leave a comment:


  • ibzy
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    It's not like that around here. Probably just the community you're living with.

    Leave a comment:


  • Silent being
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Spicen View Post
    Unless they are leaving islam to get citizenship, government benefits and a white wife.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...ing-jesus.html
    Lol but some leave due to lack of knowledge and some other factors too. Duniya has consumed most of us.

    Leave a comment:


  • Spicen
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Silent being View Post

    We should also be worried about born muslim who leave Islam too.
    Unless they are leaving islam to get citizenship, government benefits and a white wife.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...ing-jesus.html

    Leave a comment:


  • Silent being
    replied
    Re: Help me..I am feeling jealousy and bitternes. It's ruining my islam.

    Originally posted by Spicen View Post
    I had made a thread regarding this.

    Guess what some muslims actually blamed the reverts saying that the reverts were too insincere that's they left.

    As the OP says, muslims are busy with each of their individual lives. They don't even give a damn for other's difficulties. Some born muslims need a smack on the head.
    I remember the thread you made and some good points were raised.

    Most born muslim themselves, some are far from Islam and do nothing to represent Islam. As we all supposed to help each other, people should also remember everyone is fighting their own battle. We can't blame others while we dunno what they're going through.

    Inshaa Allah I'm sure there people out there trying to help the reverts. Basically, lack of an Islamic community is the main cause to what we see now IMO.

    Guidance is upon Allah and being steadfast is with Allah too.

    One more thing being a Muslim isn't the end. Obviously trials will come your way as Allah has promised, so you must stick to your guns you just don't turn your back.

    We should also be worried about born muslim who leave Islam too.
    Last edited by Silent being; 25-06-16, 01:20 PM.

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