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Sisters only please: lady question

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  • Sisters only please: lady question

    As salamu alaikum,















    I cannot find anything in the Quran or Hadith about the menopause, I want to know why Allah has placed this on women. It bothers me deeply as it is not a nice thing to go through. It really isn't. I sadly have been forced into it due to my treatment and I am having so much pain and upset over it. It is painful for me some days I cannot sit down and I am waiting to discuss my options with my consultant gynaecologist. I was starting to let Shytan to get to me and now I feel it is a punishment from Allah.

    I know it is not, but why has he placed us to go through this difficultly and pain?

    JazakAllah Khairan

  • #2
    Re: Sisters only please: lady question

    Wa alaykumasalaam sis, hope things are better for you :insha:

    I am not a biology student but i know that with every bit of pain we go through it is a rahma and an expiation and in shaa Allah a means of cleansing so that if we were to return to Allah then we would be sinless. If you want to know the reasons for it then perhaps doing a bit of research on the subject would be of help to you to give some perspective and within that you may see the hikmah.

    Allah is also how you think of Him. If you think of it as a punishment then it could be, if you think of it as an opportunity to be cleansed then it could be that too.

    On a side note. Even with the monthly pain some of us girls go through i think it's all a worthy expiation coz sometimes we girls say things with our tongues that we shouldn't and we forget to do istighfar for it. So every month in shaa Allah it's a cleansing process so to speak. This is how i see it.

    I hope this has been of some help.

    لا تفكر كثيرا
    بل استغفر كثيرا

    -------------------------------------------------------
    The children need your prayers more than anyone else
    -------------------------------------------------------
    www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Sisters only please: lady question

      Originally posted by F_R View Post
      Wa alaykumasalaam sis, hope things are better for you :insha:

      I am not a biology student but i know that with every bit of pain we go through it is a rahma and an expiation and in shaa Allah a means of cleansing so that if we were to return to Allah then we would be sinless. If you want to know the reasons for it then perhaps doing a bit of research on the subject would be of help to you to give some perspective and within that you may see the hikmah.

      Allah is also how you think of Him. If you think of it as a punishment then it could be, if you think of it as an opportunity to be cleansed then it could be that too.

      On a side note. Even with the monthly pain some of us girls go through i think it's all a worthy expiation coz sometimes we girls say things with our tongues that we shouldn't and we forget to do istighfar for it. So every month in shaa Allah it's a cleansing process so to speak. This is how i see it.

      I hope this has been of some help.
      That's an interesting way to look at it. :)
      Nothing is impossible with Allah:o

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Sisters only please: lady question

        :wswrwb:

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        -

        -

        -

        I know it's not the same thing, but I know some people who have had difficulty having children. It upsets them and they have to put up with people's comments and stuff, but they also see the hikmah behind it in a way. Their situations have turned out to be quite unpredictable and children being involved would make it harder for them and the children.

        I don't know if this is really the right place to say this, but I also remembered the story of Khidr and how he killed the young boy. When he explained why he did that, he said it was because his parents were believers and it was feared that he would oppress them with his disbelief. The story is in Surat al-Kahf. Although it seemed like something bad, it was protecting his parents from that trial.

        I don't know much about the menopause, but the opposite would be that women can have children at whatever age they are. This would be very difficult on some women as they get older, and also dealing with period pains until an old age would make life difficult.

        For you it's not really the same though, because like you said you've been forced into that situation. It's part of your illness and it's a purification for you Inshaa Allah. It's probably a good idea to speak to sisters who have been in a similar situation, because often others can't understand us as well and my post is probably proof of that.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Sisters only please: lady question

          I didn't read the OP.

          I just wanted to ask if your bone marrow transplant was successful and you are healthy now?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Sisters only please: lady question

            Originally posted by Bidrohi Ronoklanto View Post
            I didn't read the OP.

            I just wanted to ask if your bone marrow transplant was successful and you are healthy now?
            Have u read the thread

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Sisters only please: lady question

              Originally posted by Phia86 View Post
              As salamu alaikum,















              I cannot find anything in the Quran or Hadith about the menopause, I want to know why Allah has placed this on women. It bothers me deeply as it is not a nice thing to go through. It really isn't. I sadly have been forced into it due to my treatment and I am having so much pain and upset over it. It is painful for me some days I cannot sit down and I am waiting to discuss my options with my consultant gynaecologist. I was starting to let Shytan to get to me and now I feel it is a punishment from Allah.

              I know it is not, but why has he placed us to go through this difficultly and pain?

              JazakAllah Khairan
              Wa 'alaykum salaam wa-rahmatullah wa-barakatuh.

              Sis, just as everything else, Allah does as He wills and His Wisdom is wide.
              Someone else may come and ask why women go through menstrual cycles.
              Another person may ask why women give birth and not men. Maybe someone else
              may ask why giving birth hurts, or why human beings get sick, suffer, etc, etc.
              I'm sure some people may even ask why the sky is high or blue at certain times.

              There really should be limits in the things we ask. As long as we are in this world
              and not yet in Jannah, we should expect suffering of different levels.
              Some people have some chronic illnesses that makes them suffer all their lives.
              Say Alhamdulillah sis. May Allah make it easy for you sis. In shaa Allah you'll
              get better soon.

              P.S. Every pain expatriate the sins of the believers if they're patient.
              *"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."* [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
              "Mindless are those who only jump when told to jump, cry when told to cry, and laugh when told to laugh. Indeed, they are but sheep." TheStrivingUmmi

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                Sister I am sorry to hear of your difficulty. Please understand that like other things that might affect us as we age (weakness, disease etc), this issue is one of those things. I am not sure if you know much of the biology of it, but a woman's egg reserve cannot remain indefinite and will always diminish. It is not possible for it to proceed otherwise. Consequently this leads to the other symptoms of menopause due to hormonal changes. I am sorry that it appears you have had to go through this earlier and due to some other reason. Was this triggered by some treatment?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                  Originally posted by Umm Uthmaan View Post
                  Have u read the thread
                  I did not. Don't you see what I wrote?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                    When a woman begins menstruating, it's a sign that her body is now capable of bearing children. After menopause, a woman can no longer conceive, hence it is another signal that her body no longer has the strength to bear children or carry them full-term.

                    Sister, Allah has created everything in perfect order with His wisdom which we cannot comprehend. A very young girl or an aged woman will not be able to rear, feed or give tarbiyah to her kids as an average young woman can. Since she wouldn't be able to fulfill the role of motherhood, Allah hasn't placed that burden upon her.

                    Everyone's situation is unique sister. Allah has a plan for everyone & He is the Best of Planners. If we begin to question "Why me?", it could lead to borderline shirk and disbelieving in His decree for us.

                    I pray Allah eases your situation & grants you complete shifa.

                    For every second of pain you go through in this duniya, you shall be rewarded manifold in the Aakhirah, InshaAllah. You may feel like you're losing out here, but in the Aakhirah you could be the biggest winner.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                      Salams ukhti

                      I know the menstrual cycle can be very painful for some and at times the pain can be unbearable (or at least feels like it is) but there is always hikmah behind everything Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) does.

                      Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) created women with their feminine characteristics. Allah says in the Quran:

                      لَا يُسْأَلُ عَمَّا يَفْعَلُ

                      “Allah is not questioned of what He does.” (Al-Quran 21:23)

                      It is thus Fard upon us not to question the creation of Allah. It is sufficient for us to believe that Allah is Al-Hakeem (All Wise). Every act of Allah with every creation of His is based on the infinite wisdom of Allah. Menses in a woman has many benefits thqt most of us are unaware of.

                      -The very first menstrual period of a woman which is known as menarche, endows a woman to someday conceive a child. As a girl matures and enters puberty, the pituitary gland releases hormones that stimulate the ovaries to produce other hormones called estrogen and progesterone. These hormones have many effects on a girl’s body, including physical maturation, growth, and emotions. If a woman does not experience a menstrual period, most likely she will not be able to conceive a child in her life.
                      - Monthly periods work like a cleaning system in a woman’s body for her uterus in which the old uterine lining is removed in order to make way for the new cycle. The menstrual period also releases bacteria from inside the reproductive system and helps the body to discharge excess iron, which can help lower the risk of cardiovascular disease.
                      - Monthly periods slow down a women’s aging process.
                      - When women menstruate, the color, odor, and texture of the menstrual blood can provide invaluable information as to the well-being of the woman. Menstrual blood can offer early signs of developing illness and allow for the prevention of disease.
                      - The period follows a drop in progesterone, a hormone that encourages water retention and slows metabolism. Usually a day or two after the period starts, progesterone is low and most women lose water weight and metabolize carbs.
                      - A monthly period helps a woman maintain a healthy weight.

                      These are some of the health benefits according our limited understanding and researches. However, only Allah knows the true wisdom behind women having menses.

                      There are a few ways to help cope with the pain. I found iron tablets helped me and a lot of other girls whom faced severe pains. Normally when the pains are severe it is due to lack of iron or could mean something is not right, in which case you would definitely need to consult a doctor. Exercising is a great way to relieve the pain. Although i know it seems impossible to exercise, you must try, because the reason why you have the pain in the first place is due to the blood not being able to flow easily (trapped) hence the reason doctors recommend us to exercise so it can make the process easier. Many say go for birth control pills, i don't think they're good (my opinion) only because it is playing around with the monthly cycle Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) has bestowed upon us. However in extreme circumstances when you have no choice, then that may be a solution for you.

                      Just know that sis, every women goes through the same thing. It isn't easy of course, but with every difficulty comes ease. Perhaps the pain is of elevation for us on the day of judgement. Would you not be pleased to know that you would be doubled, maybe even tripled (allahu alam) in reward because of the pain you endured during the menstrual cycle? This world is temporary and all this pain will vanish one day or another. It will not matter to you when you stand before Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) that you suffered from period pain. What matters is knowing you will be rewarded extra for having to put up with it (and being patient at the same time). With every second of pain, you are rewarded, in shaa Allah, so stay strong sis, hopefully all will be well.

                      I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) to help you cope with the pain, and reward you with Jannatul Firdous, Ameen.

                      xxx
                      Last edited by Peony.; 29-11-15, 03:16 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                        [MENTION=64057]Phia86[/MENTION]
                        Sis, menopause can be a blessing depending on how you choose to look at it.
                        "Such elderly women as are past the prospect of marriage, there is no blame on them if they lay aside their (outer) garments, provided they make not wanton display of their beauty; but it is best for them to be modest; and Allah is One Who sees and knows all things". Qur'an, Surah An-Nur, 24:60.

                        Older Muslim women who are past the prospect of marriage are not required to wear "the outer garment." Here the women who are past the prospect of marriage refer to those women who have attained menopause and who cannot bear children.

                        I'm very sorry it has been forced on you. It is in NO WAY a punishment. Please do not think that way. While I am not sure why Allah (SWT) has caused this to happen to us, there IS wisdom behind it.
                        There are many Islamic resources out there to help you through this. May Allah (SWT) make it easy on you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                          Originally posted by Bidrohi Ronoklanto View Post
                          I did not. Don't you see what I wrote?
                          Theres always that one guy hahahaha. Now to scram

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                            Originally posted by F_R View Post
                            Wa alaykumasalaam sis, hope things are better for you :insha:

                            I am not a biology student but i know that with every bit of pain we go through it is a rahma and an expiation and in shaa Allah a means of cleansing so that if we were to return to Allah then we would be sinless. If you want to know the reasons for it then perhaps doing a bit of research on the subject would be of help to you to give some perspective and within that you may see the hikmah.

                            Allah is also how you think of Him. If you think of it as a punishment then it could be, if you think of it as an opportunity to be cleansed then it could be that too.

                            On a side note. Even with the monthly pain some of us girls go through i think it's all a worthy expiation coz sometimes we girls say things with our tongues that we shouldn't and we forget to do istighfar for it. So every month in shaa Allah it's a cleansing process so to speak. This is how i see it.

                            I hope this has been of some help.
                            Yes I should see it that way I suppose. But with the lack of hormones I am more at risk of breaking my bones and more at risk of severe pain for long term period which is what I do not understand. I am only 29 so I have this for the rest of my life and HRT is something I really do not want to take as this places me me more at risk of cancer again. So that is why I am annoyed a little. JazakAllah Khairian

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Sisters only please: lady question

                              Originally posted by Oum Soumayyah View Post
                              Wa 'alaykum salaam wa-rahmatullah wa-barakatuh.

                              Sis, just as everything else, Allah does as He wills and His Wisdom is wide.
                              Someone else may come and ask why women go through menstrual cycles.
                              Another person may ask why women give birth and not men. Maybe someone else
                              may ask why giving birth hurts, or why human beings get sick, suffer, etc, etc.
                              I'm sure some people may even ask why the sky is high or blue at certain times.

                              There really should be limits in the things we ask. As long as we are in this world
                              and not yet in Jannah, we should expect suffering of different levels.
                              Some people have some chronic illnesses that makes them suffer all their lives.
                              Say Alhamdulillah sis. May Allah make it easy for you sis. In shaa Allah you'll
                              get better soon.

                              P.S. Every pain expatriate the sins of the believers if they're patient.

                              Yes I know why we have me menstrual cycles and pregnancy pain etc, but I do not understand the severe problems we are experiencing when your hormones are reduced and come to a stop. Of all the things we women will go through it is actually really horrible. We are more at risk of breaking our bones and experiencing hot flushes and other pain I would not do into here as some men have been reading the thread despite what I stated. I just wished I could understand why we are put through that. I know older women have no need to bare children and we have a certain number of eggs but why the horrible side effects that Come with it. I really do not want to take HRT as I feel it will put me at risk of cancer again.

                              Comment

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