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When The Prayers Don't Work

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  • When The Prayers Don't Work

    I pray out of fear, I fast out of fear I do not do this because I feel this is going to be of any benefit whatsoever in this life because I stopped believing that a long time ago. Patience? How can you be patient when your prayers go unanswered for nearly 2 decades? When half your life has already past? Love for my Lord? As empty and numb as the love I had for the woman I once called my wife. I make supplication but the things that I really want, a wife, peace for the ummah, those prayers, they are not answered and there can be no peace for the ummah until pious children (and not this salafee nonsense) are raised. The attitudes of Muslim women in the UK disgust me. I cannot deal with the fact that by them I am treated by a leper and by the non Muslim women I am greeted with smiles. So who is more superficial, the kuffar or the Muslim women who don't value things that really should be valued? No free mixing? Not for me. Not anymore. If the mountain won't come to Mohammed then Mohammed must go to the mountain.
    "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

  • #2
    Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

    :salams:

    I'm sorry to hear this.

    There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better. What do the muslim women say? Do you contact their wali?
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

      Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
      I pray out of fear, I fast out of fear I do not do this because I feel this is going to be of any benefit whatsoever in this life because I stopped believing that a long time ago. Patience? How can you be patient when your prayers go unanswered for nearly 2 decades? When half your life has already past? Love for my Lord? As empty and numb as the love I had for the woman I once called my wife.I make supplication but the things that I really want, a wife, peace for the ummah, those prayers, they are not answered and there can be no peace for the ummah until pious children (and not this salafee nonsense) are raised. The attitudes of Muslim women in the UK disgust me. I cannot deal with the fact that by them I am treated by a leper and by the non Muslim women I am greeted with smiles. So who is more superficial, the kuffar or the Muslim women who don't value things that really should be valued? No free mixing? Not for me. Not anymore. If the mountain won't come to Mohammed then Mohammed must go to the mountain.
      :salams:

      What does that even mean?!

      Well, for one thing, to become impatient and say that your du'as aren't being answered will invalidate your du'a. So, to have that belief in your heart is not a good thing.

      But what is the real issue here? That Muslim women don't smile at you, Brother? Why does it matter if they smile at you? Why don't you expect that Muslim brothers in Islam smile at you? Ask Allah for that, :insha:

      :jkk:
      Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
      "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

        Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
        :salams:

        What does that even mean?!

        Well, for one thing, to become impatient and say that your du'as aren't being answered will invalidate your du'a. So, to have that belief in your heart is not a good thing.

        But what is the real issue here? That Muslim women don't smile at you, Brother? Why does it matter if they smile at you? Why don't you expect that Muslim brothers in Islam smile at you? Ask Allah for that, :insha:

        :jkk:
        He is upset because he has been searching for a wife for a while.

        We just need to support him, These things happen and sometimes you just want to give up because of the people you meet. Lets just reassure the brother even if he does not take it, we need to remind him that indeed Allah swt is testing us.

        I know where he is coming from. The only difference is I'm not a man lol, and have been searching for half the time of what he has.

        It's tough, you won't know until your in that situation.
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
          :salams:

          I'm sorry to hear this.

          There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better. What do the muslim women say? Do you contact their wali?
          They are not for me nor I for them.
          "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

            Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
            :salams:

            What does that even mean?!
            http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/de...o-the-mountain

            proverb If someone won’t do as you wish or a situation can’t be arranged to suit you, you must accept it and change your plans accordingly.
            "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

              No, I understand what the brother is going through. I could tell he was upset because his post seemed like a rant. But I just thought to liven the mood of this thread a bit, and maybe give some more serious advice in that post, as well, :insha:.

              Don't stress about these things too much. Let Allah surprise you pleasantly. :)
              Last edited by starrynight11; 19-12-14, 08:26 PM.
              Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
              "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
                They are not for me nor I for them.
                Yes, I know how you feel.

                What usually happens, if you don't mind me asking? Is it because of your education/looks? What usually prevents things from progressing?
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                  There's got to be loads of divorcees and single mamas you could consider for marriage.

                  Make dua and be patient.
                  Last edited by DaughterOfAdam; 19-12-14, 08:38 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                    Remember who you are asking as, a slave to a master is the closest comparison you can make to yourself and Allah. You are in debt to him, don't act like you deserve whatever you're praying for.

                    Just the fact that you have a computer makes you more blessed than half the world's population, stop complaining about what you don't have.
                    unconditional love for all of mankind.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                      what if it was the case that the answer to your dua was just about to be answered until you made this post?
                      I think you need to separate the issues here. one problem you have is with women in the uk, what does this have to do with Allah?
                      from what I understand you are saying you don't love Allah anymore? only because your dua wasn't answered (yet)? but if you don't love Allah then why should he answer your dua, ,maybe that's something to think about

                      we are slaves, we don't tell Allah what to do and make demands and then say we don't love Allah anymore when we don't get what we want. you will get what is best for you not always what you want. besides, Allah doesn't need you to love him or anybody else, it's your loss. it's something that YOU need.
                      if you throw Allah out of your life then where will you go?

                      you need to put everything aside and rebuild your connection with Allah and learn who Allah is.
                      this is more important now then the other dunya stuff you were making dua for.

                      as for free mixing, I hope you don't think that you will get anywhere by sinning and disobeying Allah just because your dua wasn't answered and you couldn't do things the halal way.
                      if Allah has not decreed it, it won't happen no matter what
                      "O you who have believed, shall I guide you to a transaction that will save you from a painful punishment?
                      (It is that) you believe in Allah and His Messenger and strive in the cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives. That is best for you, if you should know.
                      He will forgive for you your sins and admit you to gardens beneath which rivers flow and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence. That is the great attainment"
                      .


                      "And (you will obtain) another (favour) that you love - victory from Allah and an imminent conquest; and give good tidings to the believers"
                      .

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        Yes, I know how you feel.

                        What usually happens, if you don't mind me asking? Is it because of your education/looks? What usually prevents things from progressing?
                        There's rarely any interest from Muslim girls so things cannot progress. If you're a divorcee you are automatically a wife beater as far as desi Muslims are concerned, your options are limited. Talking isn't a problem, I speak more or less how I write. I've had two face to face interviews and it was obvious the families were impressed, the first instance I didn't care for the girl nor her me and the second I spoke for 90 minutes to mother and father and didn't see the girl once. I spoke extensively to three girls through marriage websites but they had issues.

                        I used to think it was looks but then I had a beautiful wife and beautiful non Muslim girls smile at me so I doubt it's that. I'm normal looking but old fashioned in that I speak well and have British manners. I have a degree and Celta accreditation so my qualifications aren't an issue either. If there was zero interest from all women then it would be easy to understand and accept.

                        A brother in Sweden told me once he could go into a nightclub and get a non Muslim women but Muslim women? They didn't want to know so maybe this problem isn't typical to just England.
                        There's no point in chasing after women who didn't want to be chased and chasing after non Muslim women is considerably easier but there are a host of problems to deal with. I plan on going to Saudi for 6 months then coming back to England in the summer before making my next move. At that point I'll know whether or not to pursue 'people of the book'.
                        "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                          Originally posted by faatima18 View Post
                          what if it was the case that the answer to your dua was just about to be answered until you made this post?
                          After an 18 year wait? I doubt it. Every day we are closer to death. How much time do you think you have to enjoy married life once you hit 40? Your window is small, physically you're already past your peak. No matter how much care you take of yourself you cannot slow the aging process. The older you get the harder it is to marry.

                          what if it was the case that the answer to your dua was just about to be answered until you made this post?
                          I think you need to separate the issues here. one problem you have is with women in the uk, what does this have to do with Allah?
                          from what I understand you are saying you don't love Allah anymore? only because your dua wasn't answered (yet)? but if you don't love Allah then why should he answer your dua, ,maybe that's something to think about

                          we are slaves, we don't tell Allah what to do and make demands and then say we don't love Allah anymore when we don't get what we want. you will get what is best for you not always what you want. besides, Allah doesn't need you to love him or anybody else, it's your loss. it's something that YOU need.
                          if you throw Allah out of your life then where will you go?
                          We are told our prayers are answered, we are told bad things are removed and will be replaced with something good. When you spend your life knowingly and willingly striving to improve yourself and deal with all the crap that comes your way and there's still no respite what then? When the ummah are on the opposite sides of extreme what then?

                          No our Lord doesn't need us but I don't need this life either.

                          as for free mixing, I hope you don't think that you will get anywhere by sinning and disobeying Allah just because your dua wasn't answered and you couldn't do things the halal way.
                          It may get me a wife.
                          Last edited by Nulbreaker; 19-12-14, 09:48 PM.
                          "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                            Originally posted by shann View Post
                            Remember who you are asking as, a slave to a master is the closest comparison you can make to yourself and Allah. You are in debt to him, don't act like you deserve whatever you're praying for.

                            Just the fact that you have a computer makes you more blessed than half the world's population, stop complaining about what you don't have.
                            I am well aware of what half the world don't have, I've spoken to refugees and asylum seekers. I know the hell they have gone through but if you think I'm in any way grateful for what I have you're mistaken. I'd rather be dead. All these trinkets are meaningless. My relationship with my Lord will only deteriorate the longer this goes on. Better to face judgement now before it worsens.
                            "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: When The Prayers Don't Work

                              This might be a useful article, :insha:

                              http://www.soundvision.com/info/peace/stresstips.asp
                              Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
                              "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

                              Comment

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