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My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage him?

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  • My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage him?

    Assalamu Aleykom Ummah Forum,

    I am having a small problem at the moment that I would like your help with, May Allah bless you all.

    My brother is going to the cinema to watch a disgusting movie (wolf of wall street) He is adamant on watching it. I have told him that it does not befit a muslim to watch such filth (or any decent person tbh) but he refuses to listen.

    We come from a practicing religious desi family and I really think he should have some respect for his religion and himself and fear Allah swt and not go.

    How can I discourage him from doing this?

    In another related matter, my brother's Islam and Imaan is fading. He eats pork, bacon and ham regularly, he NEVER prays or goes to the mosque or reads Qur'an, agrees with gay ''rights'', is generally rude, violent and argumentative with anyone who disagrees with his stupid opinions.

    We live in Birmingham, UK so if anyone knows any good sheikhs who can get through to people like my brother, please PM their details,

    JazakAllahu Khayran and kind regards,

    A concerned sister

  • #2
    Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

    good thread, i want to see what ppl's views about cinema are
    Abu Malik at-Ash'ari reported:

    The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Cleanliness is half of faith

    and al-Hamdu Lillah (all praise and gratitude is for Allah alone) fills the scale, and Subhan Allah (Glory be to Allah)

    and al-Hamdu Lillah fill up what is between the heavens and the earth, and prayer is a light,

    and charity is proof (of one's faith)

    and endurance is a brightness and the Holy Qur'an is a proof on your behalf or against you.

    All men go out early in the morning and sell themselves, thereby setting themselves free or destroying themselves.



    حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَبَّانُ بْنُ هِلاَلٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبَانٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، أَنَّ زَيْدًا، حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ أَبَا سَلاَّمٍ حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي مَالِكٍ الأَشْعَرِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ الطُّهُورُ شَطْرُ الإِيمَانِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلأُ الْمِيزَانَ ‏.‏ وَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلآنِ - أَوْ تَمْلأُ - مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَالصَّلاَةُ نُورٌ وَالصَّدَقَةُ بُرْهَانٌ وَالصَّبْرُ ضِيَاءٌ وَالْقُرْآنُ حُجَّةٌ لَكَ أَوْ عَلَيْكَ كُلُّ النَّاسِ يَغْدُو فَبَائِعٌ نَفْسَهُ فَمُعْتِقُهَا أَوْ مُوبِقُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

    Reference : Sahih Muslim 223
    In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 1
    USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 2, Hadith 432
    (deprecated numbering scheme)

    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


    Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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    • #3
      Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

      you can't if he doesn't even practice islam. it's too late to change him now and there are bigger issues not saying this isn't one but the other things he does is MAJOR
      Last edited by muslimboy764; 19-01-14, 03:23 PM.
      http://treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com/
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      • #4
        Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

        :wswrwb:
        Last edited by neighbour; 05-02-14, 10:57 AM.
        Allāhu akbar

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        • #5
          Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

          Forget the movie. Your brother has bigger issues to deal with.

          Example, salat - lecture him on that first if you can

          Salat is what differentiates between us and the kuffar.

          It is the first thing Allah will question us about on day of judgment.

          Some scholars are of the opinion leaving salat makes one a kaffir.

          May Allah guide your brother. ameen.
          Gone with the wind.

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          • #6
            Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

            No, I have not told my parents. They work a lot so they don't notice his dietary choices.

            We wake up at fajr together as a family but he just goes through the motions i.e. doesn't even make wudhu and confronts you angrily if you call him on it. For Asr, Maghrib and Isha when we're home, he doesn't pray or even notice that it is salah time.

            He doesn't listen to my advice or lectures. In fact just a few days ago he called me a 'dumb *****' for asking him to pick his dirty clothes off the floor. Is this the behaviour of a Muslim man??

            I feel like giving up on him. I try and try but nothing goes through. Islam has never been a priority for him and it seems like there is nothing I can do.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

              Originally posted by SpicyBiriyani View Post
              No, I have not told my parents. They work a lot so they don't notice his dietary choices.

              We wake up at fajr together as a family but he just goes through the motions i.e. doesn't even make wudhu and confronts you angrily if you call him on it. For Asr, Maghrib and Isha when we're home, he doesn't pray or even notice that it is salah time.

              He doesn't listen to my advice or lectures. In fact just a few days ago he called me a 'dumb *****' for asking him to pick his dirty clothes off the floor. Is this the behaviour of a Muslim man??

              I feel like giving up on him. I try and try but nothing goes through. Islam has never been a priority for him and it seems like there is nothing I can do.

              how old is he, and what makes him muslim
              http://treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com/
              Perfect Handmade Cookies for your Dhikr Sessison
              http://s9.postimg.org/46cs0lqz3/bvita_jpg.jpg
              for all your sufism needs
              http://s2.postimg.org/tl4ep7qzp/image.jpg

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                He is 19. and I'm not sure what makes him Muslim anymore.:(

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                  Originally posted by SpicyBiriyani View Post
                  He is 19. and I'm not sure what makes him Muslim anymore.:(
                  Your parents are too busy working and don't have time to teach him Islam. That's why we Muslims say that the wife completes half your deen because she looks after your children and brings them up with Islamic principles and guides the whole family in partnership with the father.

                  It seems they are running after the duniya and forgotten their responsibilities. They may well be held accountable. You have to tell them what he does. If you don't then you will be held accountable perhaps on the day of judgement for his actions as the parents were unaware and you hid it.
                  [B][CENTER]Please keep me in your Dua'a. in'shaa'Allah ![/CENTER][/B]

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                  • #10
                    Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                    It is not your mums responsibility to go out and work. Her responsibility is with the home to ensure her children have a Islamic upbringing and ensuring they do it and not just brush it under the carpet assuming there doing it
                    [B][CENTER]Please keep me in your Dua'a. in'shaa'Allah ![/CENTER][/B]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                      Originally posted by SpicyBiriyani View Post
                      Assalamu Aleykom Ummah Forum,

                      I am having a small problem at the moment that I would like your help with, May Allah bless you all.

                      My brother is going to the cinema to watch a disgusting movie (wolf of wall street) He is adamant on watching it. I have told him that it does not befit a muslim to watch such filth (or any decent person tbh) but he refuses to listen.

                      We come from a practicing religious desi family and I really think he should have some respect for his religion and himself and fear Allah swt and not go.

                      How can I discourage him from doing this?

                      In another related matter, my brother's Islam and Imaan is fading. He eats pork, bacon and ham regularly, he NEVER prays or goes to the mosque or reads Qur'an, agrees with gay ''rights'', is generally rude, violent and argumentative with anyone who disagrees with his stupid opinions.

                      We live in Birmingham, UK so if anyone knows any good sheikhs who can get through to people like my brother, please PM their details,

                      JazakAllahu Khayran and kind regards,

                      A concerned sister
                      What were your parents doing all these years? I do not think he became like this suddenly, slowly slowly this happened.

                      Look sister , the thing is that the most important thing is to make him understand that There is Allah ( swt ) and we will be accountable for our deeds one Day. If this faith and believe is lacking in him , No sheikh or scolding can do anything. If somehow , this believe comes , all the rest will be easy to teach him.

                      I know that you are concerned , but I do not think you can do much except praying. It is he who has to take one step towards Allah ( swt ). First step will be tough , but after that each step Allah ( swt ) will make it easier.

                      Your parents need to sit alone with him and discuss this properly. Some how they have rekindle the Iman of Allah ( swt ) in his heart.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                        Originally posted by SpicyBiriyani View Post
                        No, I have not told my parents. They work a lot so they don't notice his dietary choices.

                        We wake up at fajr together as a family but he just goes through the motions i.e. doesn't even make wudhu and confronts you angrily if you call him on it. For Asr, Maghrib and Isha when we're home, he doesn't pray or even notice that it is salah time.

                        He doesn't listen to my advice or lectures. In fact just a few days ago he called me a 'dumb *****' for asking him to pick his dirty clothes off the floor. Is this the behaviour of a Muslim man??

                        I feel like giving up on him. I try and try but nothing goes through. Islam has never been a priority for him and it seems like there is nothing I can do.
                        Tell your parents.
                        Allāhu akbar

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                          Salam Alaykum,
                          First you need to make dua for him.
                          Second of all, you need to be really nice to him because that will make him want to be more like you. Asking him to pick his dirty clothes off the floor and bossing him around may turn him away.
                          You need to focus on getting him to pray before asking him not to watch those movies.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                            I have seen wolf of wall Street.

                            It really is very unsuitable for muslims. I liked it though, di'caprio can really act. There is lot of nudity, drug taking and music.
                            ''....And from the best ways of dealing with the ignorant is to ignore and avoid them. This is because if you debate with them, they beat you, and if you beat them they will end up hating you, and will not admit you are correct. Therefore ignore them''

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My Brother wishes to view a very graphic film at the cinema. How do I discourage

                              Salam

                              I think you tell him all the right things to do first like praying on time and learning about Islam and definitely tell him to stop eating pork. That is just gross.
                              He is not your responsibility but your parents, although you should make an effort to stop a bad deed being done by him particularly if it is in your presence. So if he doesn't listen to you then you should tell your parents so they can confront him about these issues. It's your parents responsibility as he is living under their roof. And tell your brother that you are going to tell your parents. You may not know all things he may be involved in, it could be worse. So this needs to be curtailed. He may not like you if you tell your parents but from the sounds of it he already doesn't seem to think that much of you or respect you. Make effort with dua. He is lucky to have you as a sister, although he doesn't know it. Good luck

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