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Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

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    #31
    Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

    i think it really depends on the situation. i would never put my parents in a home simply for the crime of being old, but there are situations where transferring care to a proper facility is the best thing to do.

    my uncle had very severe Alzheimer's and my aunt was the only one able to care for him. it got to the point where he was unpredictable, violent, soiling himself on the sofa and she had to job of cleaning him up and keeping him cared for at the extent of everything else. she never put him in a home - she always said she would consider it only when he had forgotten who she was, but he died before that point. its easier when you have a support network of family etc, but people also need to realise they are not superman and are not trained nurses.

    ive made it clear to my partner that once we marry etc, we are both agreed that if anything happens to our parents, we will do the upmost to get them to live with us and care for them. but we also need to recognise that if they become so infirm that our family and themselves suffer due to our inadequate care ability, we have to make the best choice for them.

    it also depends on the parents choice, i know my mum would expect us to look after her. my dad would rather die than have us clean him after going to the loo.

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      #32
      Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

      Originally posted by |Sister| View Post
      He was not a Muslim. I don't know if he had ever heard of Islam, Allahu A'lam. His fate is with Allah now. Every single friend and family member I have had go into a nursing home did not come out alive and were abused or neglected in some way. All of them were bullied into selling their belongings and going into the home to make life easier on their so-called "family". Some people can be so selfish, lazy and evil, it's pathetic really. Just wait when it's their turn for the abuse and neglect, none of us stay young forever. The only thing worse than a care home would be staying at home abused by your son (my ex-neighbor) or having all your belongings stolen and you kicked out to live on the street (a homeless woman in my city shelter told me her children did this to her).
      No words to describe these type of people who take advantage or their own blood.
      "I love the righteous, though I’m not one of them,
      Perhaps I will gain their mediation for me.
      And I hate those whose trade is sin,
      Though we may both have the same merchandise!" Imam Al Shafi'i

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        #33
        Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

        Originally posted by _Ruby_ View Post
        i think it really depends on the situation. i would never put my parents in a home simply for the crime of being old, but there are situations where transferring care to a proper facility is the best thing to do.

        my uncle had very severe Alzheimer's and my aunt was the only one able to care for him. it got to the point where he was unpredictable, violent, soiling himself on the sofa and she had to job of cleaning him up and keeping him cared for at the extent of everything else. she never put him in a home - she always said she would consider it only when he had forgotten who she was, but he died before that point. its easier when you have a support network of family etc, but people also need to realise they are not superman and are not trained nurses.

        ive made it clear to my partner that once we marry etc, we are both agreed that if anything happens to our parents, we will do the upmost to get them to live with us and care for them. but we also need to recognise that if they become so infirm that our family and themselves suffer due to our inadequate care ability, we have to make the best choice for them.

        it also depends on the parents choice, i know my mum would expect us to look after her. my dad would rather die than have us clean him after going to the loo.
        It doesn't have to be just you and your partner caring for them, you can hire nurses that come for a couple hours a couple times a week so you can both relax a bit
        "I love the righteous, though I’m not one of them,
        Perhaps I will gain their mediation for me.
        And I hate those whose trade is sin,
        Though we may both have the same merchandise!" Imam Al Shafi'i

        Comment


          #34
          Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

          Originally posted by sims View Post
          It doesn't have to be just you and your partner caring for them, you can hire nurses that come for a couple hours a couple times a week so you can both relax a bit
          thats true, in fact, my partner currently rents a flat from a couple who need round the clock carers to come and look after them. carers are wonderful, but their home isnt equipped with the things they need to move around properly, so there have been a few evenings while we have had to help while they call an ambulance after a fall.

          i dont think its an easy choice for any family (barring those who are disgusting, money grabbers). my dad is 20 years older than my mum, so i hope against hope he never reaches the stage we cant care for him. my parter knows the moment my mum is a widow and feels lonely, she is living with us to to be surrounded by family/grandkids/love.

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            #35
            Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

            Originally posted by sims View Post
            They do have rights, they are just dependant on others instead of family. In a place like that you have the right to refuse treatment, or foods that you don't like and so on..it works for those that have no family and aren't able to take care of themselves, so living alone would be worse than living there because at least in a facility like that you would have people to care for you. IF you are at home with no family/friends to care for you who will help you if something happens? Who will you talk to?

            .As for ''briefs''...if you have no control you have to wear it..it's better to wear that then to make a mess in public.
            Their "rights" are not heard and there is no way to enforce those rights when someone has dementia. If they have no family or friends to visit them, they are at the mercy of the person who is on shift. It doesn't work for most people, they tolerate being there but they are bored out of their skull mostly and often depressed, even with the best care I can give on a day shift, I still can't relieve their isolation and boredom from 6am when they usually get up, until 8pm when they all usually go to bed. They stare out of a window looking at the sky, that's it. Oh with one half hour activity....sometimes....if the staff have got time, which isn't usual.

            One of the things that keeps me working in this job is that these people have got noone and I know what that feels like.

            One of the things that attracted me to Islam was that people look after their families on the whole.

            One of the things that I HATE with my whole heart about Christians is that majority of people in my unit are from Christian communities. They have a vicar or priest come in once a month and give them (that are in that religion) the wine and bread, say a short prayer and they call that love. I call that kind of love... Living Of Veiled Evil... because people show a cover of something that is deceptive because underneath there is deep selfishness and evil to the other person who is vulnerable. Christians even have a verse in their bible about it in James 1:27 where it says that pure religion is to look after widows and orphans. That is in their bible supposedly from God...... and they do absolutely nothing about it for the most of parts.


            sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant uh
            Last edited by ssh; 03-07-13, 10:45 PM. Reason: to apologise


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              #36
              Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

              Originally posted by ssh View Post
              Their "rights" are not heard and there is no way to enforce those rights when someone has dementia. If they have no family or friends to visit them, they are at the mercy of the person who is on shift. It doesn't work for most people, they tolerate being there but they are bored out of their skull mostly and often depressed, even with the best care I can give on a day shift, I still can't relieve their isolation and boredom from 6am when they usually get up, until 8pm when they all usually go to bed. They stare out of a window looking at the sky, that's it. Oh with one half hour activity....sometimes....if the staff have got time, which isn't usual.

              One of the things that keeps me working in this job is that these people have got noone and I know what that feels like.

              One of the things that attracted me to Islam was that people look after their families on the whole.

              One of the things that I HATE with my whole heart about Christians is that majority of people in my unit are from Christian communities. They have a vicar or priest come in once a month and give them (that are in that religion) the wine and bread, say a short prayer and they call that love. I call that kind of love... Living Of Veiled Evil... because people show a cover of something that is deceptive because underneath there is deep selfishness and evil to the other person who is vulnerable. Christians even have a verse in their bible about it in James 1:27 where it says that pure religion is to look after widows and orphans. That is in their bible supposedly from God...... and they do absolutely nothing about it for the most of parts.


              sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant uh
              This is something to rant about so don't apologize! Yes it's true no matter what you can do for them you still can't give then what they want..their old life back... May Allah swt reward you, bless you and grant you the highest abode in Jannah for taking care of them.

              Off topic here but have you met Muslims in your area that you can hang out with and what not?
              "I love the righteous, though I’m not one of them,
              Perhaps I will gain their mediation for me.
              And I hate those whose trade is sin,
              Though we may both have the same merchandise!" Imam Al Shafi'i

              Comment


                #37
                Re: Your Opinion on Care Homes / Nursing Homes / Old Age Homes

                I feel like our brains just like our bodies waste away when we have little to do. And when we seclude ourselves/ are secluded our health plummets.

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