what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

[mystic_dunes]

What does one do one they are cursed by their mother.
I've heard that the prayer or any good deed like reading Quran , charity, salah doesn't gets accepted when any of the parent are angry ...how can ones cope with this kind situation ?

[MajorTeenager]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

Blah, I know your situation so well. Ask for her forgiveness, and for Allahs forgiveness upon you. :) I hope all is well for you sister.

[mystic_dunes]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

Blah, I know your situation so well. Ask for her forgiveness, and for allays forgiveness upon you. :) I hope all is well for you sister.

Well this is not a one day issue..my mother and I don't get along...after every 3-4 days a big argument crops up ..I ask for forgiveness and the same thing happens again..I feel like a hypocrite now ..and as per Islam parents aren't at fault its the child whose can't even say uff no matter how much or whatever the parent say...I know the rights of mother as per Islam and what status has been given to her ...but I'm unable to keep my anger incheck when the argument crops up and my mother swears at me or curses inn anger. I just feel so helpless because I don't know what to do ...my mom tells me the Throne/ Arsh of Allah SWT shakes when the parents have been disrespected..how can I turn to dua knowing the fact that Allah SWT is angry and upset with me

[F_R]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

Allah is Just okay so don't worry about that and He knows what's in your heart and what you intend.

With mothers, know that they're women and women go through stuff and sometimes their emotions are out of their control. Keep that in mind. Don't bring up any argument or things that'll cause you two to argue, simples. Avoid those topics or discussions or whatever it is okay? Don't bring them up at all ever, leave it in the bin.

[mystic_dunes]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

Allah is Just okay so don't worry about that and He knows what's in your heart and what you intend.

With mothers, know that they're women and women go through stuff and sometimes their emotions are out of their control. Keep that in mind. Don't bring up any argument or things that'll cause you two to argue, simples. Avoid those topics or discussions or whatever it is okay? Don't bring them up at all ever, leave it in the bin.

the argument crops up no matter what I do...it starts with small things like how I walk , talk, sit,pray etc... there is a lot of age difference between me and my mom..so there are alot of understanding issues...i am the youngest child, with the elder being older to me by 14 years. i also have another brother who is 2 years olders to me and whenever we have fight, majority of times my mom takes his side. my mom can go to any lengths to hide my brother's flaws infront of my aunts and when it comes to me she discusses about my flaws and how selfish as a child i am.
recently my dad is also upset at me because he wants me to study further while my mom doesnt... and i chose to listen to my mom.. my brother hardly talks to me..i feel like a stranger with no one by my side.
i am not saying my mom is bad person or that she hates me beacuse a mother can never hate her child ...its just she doesnt understand me one bit and favors my brother over me which hurts me to the core...and when she gets angry she curses and swears at me ...which really scares me about my future now...becausea child cant say uff to their parents in any scenario and islam has held our parents at a very high pedestal...and I do answer her back.in anger
all of this affected my relationship with Allah i cant offer my prayers properly with the feeling that they wont be accepted and i've stop reading quran too and have stop doing other acts of good
"all the good one does, multiply that by zero when you talk back to your parents" - ustadh nouman ali khan
"Not dealing with parents properly is one way ticket to hell fire. if you are messed up with your parents it doesnt matter if you go to hajj every year, charity, make qiyaam etc- a straight ticket to hell fire"- ustadh nouman ali khan


what can i do to mend fences? i do dua sometimes to put love in my heart for my parents...i just feel like a **** now as i type whats going on with my life because in a way im complaining about my parents and it alls under gheebah...but i need advice ..i feel really helpless now

[Peacenik]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

If one parent (or both) curse their young child, then they're not fit to be parents. What kind of people have that much hate towards their innocent offspring that they have to resort to such a sick action ?

[Uthmani]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

There is emotional anger and just anger. If the parents are justly angry at their child then the child will be held accountable (If they are of age). However if the parents are in a angry stupor than how can Allah blame the child for the parents anger?

[F_R]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

the argument crops up no matter what I do...it starts with small things like how I walk , talk, sit,pray etc... there is a lot of age difference between me and my mom..so there are alot of understanding issues...i am the youngest child, with the elder being older to me by 14 years. i also have another brother who is 2 years olders to me and whenever we have fight, majority of times my mom takes his side. my mom can go to any lengths to hide my brother's flaws infront of my aunts and when it comes to me she discusses about my flaws and how selfish as a child i am.
recently my dad is also upset at me because he wants me to study further while my mom doesnt... and i chose to listen to my mom.. my brother hardly talks to me..i feel like a stranger with no one by my side.
i am not saying my mom is bad person or that she hates me beacuse a mother can never hate her child ...its just she doesnt understand me one bit and favors my brother over me which hurts me to the core...and when she gets angry she curses and swears at me ...which really scares me about my future now...becausea child cant say uff to their parents in any scenario and islam has held our parents at a very high pedestal...and I do answer her back.in anger
all of this affected my relationship with Allah i cant offer my prayers properly with the feeling that they wont be accepted and i've stop reading quran too and have stop doing other acts of good
"all the good one does, multiply that by zero when you talk back to your parents" - ustadh nouman ali khan
"Not dealing with parents properly is one way ticket to hell fire. if you are messed up with your parents it doesnt matter if you go to hajj every year, charity, make qiyaam etc- a straight ticket to hell fire"- ustadh nouman ali khan


what can i do to mend fences? i do dua sometimes to put love in my heart for my parents...i just feel like a **** now as i type whats going on with my life because in a way im complaining about my parents and it alls under gheebah...but i need advice ..i feel really helpless now

Take it all on the chin, let it go in one ear and out the other and don't retaliate or get angry.

Look one thing I know for sure is that Allah is the most Just okay, He is fair and just no one gets punished for no reason okay, if you've not angered your parents then Allah is Fully Aware of it all. Just do your bit, this is what I'm realising now. An don't forget that mummy and daddy are humans with faults and mistakes just like me and you, they too get angry, upset etc for no reason sometimes just like we do, especially mums. They're women so they'll get upset and stuff for reasons outside of their own control.

Don't over think it (this is what I've been doing myself) otherwise you start doubting all your deeds and everything will appear pointless. Do loadsa istighfar and just listen to parents. If a topic comes up or whatever that is about your faults etc just ignore it but don't take it personally.

I think this is another trick of shaytan (for me anyway) to get us to overthink everything to the extent where we doubt all our actions and feel like what's the point I'm going to hell anyway coz I'm not the best son/daughter. Leave it to Allah an as Med said in the other thread don't get involved in the relationship between your parents and Allah, whatever they do it's between them and Allah you just do your bit by them coz that's what we gonna be held accountable for.

Age comes into it too, if mums old then she's going through other stuff so give her a hundred excuses as a woman. Can you talk to your mum? How's your communication? Is there a language barrier?

An I don't think you're complaining, you're asking for advice which is fine.

[casbah]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

There is emotional anger and just anger. If the parents are justly angry at their child then the child will be held accountable (If they are of age). However if the parents are in a angry stupor than how can Allah blame the child for the parents anger?

How do you know that? Is there any Islamic evidence which says that a child won't be held accountable if his/her parents are angry for no reason or for petty reasons?

[F_R]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

How do you know that? Is there any Islamic evidence which says that a child won't be held accountable if his/her parents are angry for no reason or for petty reasons?

Why would a child be held accountable if their parents are angry and it's not the fault of the child??? Doesn't make sense and Allah is Just and Fully Aware. Parents are humans too, they're allowed to get angry and annoyed like the rest of us do

[Peacenik]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

How do you know that? Is there any Islamic evidence which says that a child won't be held accountable if his/her parents are angry for no reason or for petty reasons?

Not sure if you can blame a young child for anything.

[neelu]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

Tell your mother it's haram to curse another Muslim. When your mother is committing haram, she will be accountable for it, not you (unless you strongly provoked her by beating her or killing one of her other kids or something along those lines). If you commit haram then realise that she has a right to be angry and correct you. If you speak to her with bad language or strike her then even if she doesn't curse you, Allah (swt) does not permit such things so don't even go there. Having said that if your mother is mentally ill or emotionally imbalanced and irrational, then try to show her some patience (that doesn't mean you're unable to protect or stand up for yourself it just means let it slide if she decides to rant and complain sometimes).Your mother is a human being, probably the most important person in your life so treat her like you'd treat your boss and then let Allah (swt) decide as His decision is never unjust. What I mean is, if your mother is an unstable and cruel person cursing you without reason then Allah (swt) cannot punish you for that rather she would be held accountable for her actions, but on the other hand, if you're a spoilt teenager who slams the door and throws things whenever she tells you to clean your room, then fear the wrath of Allah (swt). If you're somewhere in between, then don't try to reason with her all the time, just avoid haram things, do your duty to Allah (swt) and do your own thing.

[Uthmani]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

How do you know that? Is there any Islamic evidence which says that a child won't be held accountable if his/her parents are angry for no reason or for petty reasons?

Because children aren't held accountable for anything, thats why they're children not adults.

[casbah]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

Because children aren't held accountable for anything, thats why they're children not adults.

I meant child as in son or daughter, not necessarily a young kid. So what if a young adult has a father who gets angry very easily? How can he be sure that he isn't constantly sinning just because of his father's anger issues? Or is it just impossible?

EDIT: seems like Neelu answered the question.

[Helloeveryone]

Re: what does a child do when cursed by their parents?

mystic_dunes: is your mother religious person and is there a golden child/black sheep syndrome in your family? I understand exactly what's going on with you.