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Is this going to be a new trend on the forum?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by .Hajar. View Post
    OP must have been sleeping since 2014 if he thinks this is a "new trend".



    Frankly, that is what ruins the threads in the marriage section, just because you have an opinion does not mean you have to share it and you definitely need to stay away from such threads. Your post in that thread was just awful, you told a desperate husband his wife "might be in it for the papers and he is better off getting another wife" because she does not listen to him? Like WTH?

    I am in complete agreement with sajid, unmarried folks (and I exclude those who were married before from this) should stay out of threads that is to do with marital issues (where either spouse seeks guidance/ advice).
    maybe you should give your good advices instead of just watching us making awful posts since 2014

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

      You're making out as if your contributions are valued. I'm in favour of having fewer users if it meant the quality is increased.
      How can a muslim be as rude as you? You really need to check your heart bro as i dont think salah is having any effect on you. May you will loose all these users then and have a few whose contributions are valued. Ameen

      Now do at least one kind thing as an admin and delete my account

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by .Hajar. View Post
        OP must have been sleeping since 2014 if he thinks this is a "new trend".



        Frankly, that is what ruins the threads in the marriage section, just because you have an opinion does not mean you have to share it and you definitely need to stay away from such threads. Your post in that thread was just awful, you told a desperate husband his wife "might be in it for the papers and he is better off getting another wife" because she does not listen to him? Like WTH?

        I am in complete agreement with sajid, unmarried folks (and I exclude those who were married before from this) should stay out of threads that is to do with marital issues (where either spouse seeks guidance/ advice).
        The forum was very popular during 2014 and you weren't a mod and mods didn't delete 'bad advice' so I don't know what you're talking about.
        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Predatorian View Post

          How can a muslim be as rude as you? You really need to check your heart bro as i dont think salah is having any effect on you. May you will loose all these users then and have a few whose contributions are valued. Ameen

          Now do at least one kind thing as an admin and delete my account
          Always the adab card.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

            Always the adab card.
            hmmm

            maybe something to think about if lotta ppl are dashing out the adab card methinks

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post

              hmmm

              maybe something to think about if lotta ppl are dashing out the adab card methinks
              Look at the state of those people first.

              Oh no, I've done it again.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by .Hajar. View Post

                I am in complete agreement with sajid, unmarried folks (and I exclude those who were married before from this) should stay out of threads that is to do with marital issues (where either spouse seeks guidance/ advice).
                You don't need to be married to give advice that comes from the Quran and sunnah. On top of that it assumes that people who are married are experts when it comes to marital relationships. By that logic, those who are divorced have even less right than single people when it comes to giving advice since their marriage failed. Also what about when the OP of a post rejects the advice and says what a married person suggested is wrong advice? Should we have a 3 strike system or something for married people giving advice too?

                Ultimately relying on the internet for marriage advice is a terrible idea, for numerous reasons. If we were actually concerned about it, we would just shut down the whole marriage section.

                Comment


                • #23
                  We should keep things the way they are but if someone is giving advise that is considered bad, they should just get an infraction which will eventually lead to a ban. Like the old system when people would bicker and get infracted if they didn't behave.

                  That may help to keep people in check about how they share their thoughts.

                  ​​​​​
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                    You don't need to be married to give advice that comes from the Quran and sunnah. On top of that it assumes that people who are married are experts when it comes to marital relationships. By that logic, those who are divorced have even less right than single people when it comes to giving advice since their marriage failed. Also what about when the OP of a post rejects the advice and says what a married person suggested is wrong advice? Should we have a 3 strike system or something for married people giving advice too?

                    Ultimately relying on the internet for marriage advice is a terrible idea, for numerous reasons. If we were actually concerned about it, we would just shut down the whole marriage section.
                    I used to think like this but then I changed my mind later one (before getting married) and I think it's good to hear all perspectives, sometimes it's hard to read things that may come across like an attack especially if it's done deliberately.

                    The problem is that if people that are 'divorced' aren't allowed to give advise then they shouldn't re marry either. None of it makes sense. Another thing to remember is that not all marriages end in divorce due to the actions of both parties. It can end because of one person destroying the marriage, it doesn't always take two to tango. Obviously I feel much more strongly about this because of my own 'failed' nikah.

                    Everyone should be allowed to share their thoughts within limits.

                    ​​​​​
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      If you want to take this approach then go all the way. You may as well remove the marriage section or not allow marriage advice threads at all, because frankly the idea of presenting sensitive personal marriage issues and asking anonymous people on the Internet for advice on it is pretty ridiculous in and of itself.

                      Let's not have this half-baked, ambiguous approach where a couple individuals get to decide what is "bad advice" and delete them.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                        You don't need to be married to give advice that comes from the Quran and sunnah. On top of that it assumes that people who are married are experts when it comes to marital relationships. By that logic, those who are divorced have even less right than single people when it comes to giving advice since their marriage failed. Also what about when the OP of a post rejects the advice and says what a married person suggested is wrong advice? Should we have a 3 strike system or something for married people giving advice too?

                        Ultimately relying on the internet for marriage advice is a terrible idea, for numerous reasons. If we were actually concerned about it, we would just shut down the whole marriage section.
                        I wonder why all married people don't give the exact same advice.

                        I just wonder why.
                        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                          We should keep things the way they are but if someone is giving advise that is considered bad, they should just get an infraction which will eventually lead to a ban. Like the old system when people would bicker and get infracted if they didn't behave.

                          That may help to keep people in check about how they share their thoughts.

                          ​​​​​
                          Bad advice isn't breaking the forum rules unless it's deliberately unIslamic.

                          And the original post that was removed by Hajar was arguably one of the best posts on the thread.

                          And oddly enough her view on what the 'it all boiled down to' was rejected by the OP himself.

                          So much for the mythical marriage 'wisdom'.
                          Last edited by Linkdeutscher; 1 week ago.
                          You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                          You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

                            Look at the state of those people first.

                            Oh no, I've done it again.
                            And what exactly is your state? I have never seen you give actual advice, you just bully people seeking advice here and close their threads. Some may be trolls, sure, but you roll this way in every single thread.
                            You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                            You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

                              And what exactly is your state? I have never seen you give actual advice, you just bully people seeking advice here and close their threads. Some may be trolls, sure, but you roll this way in every single thread.
                              My advice is usually to ask those that know, especially in the absence of context and evidence. We can't act as a fatwa shop or agony column where people come to seek informed advice and guidance for personal problems that involve third parties.

                              Also, this forum has been used as a source for rulings. Think about that - some may not see a problem with that but I see it as a danger.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

                                I used to think like this but then I changed my mind later one (before getting married) and I think it's good to hear all perspectives, sometimes it's hard to read things that may come across like an attack especially if it's done deliberately.

                                The problem is that if people that are 'divorced' aren't allowed to give advise then they shouldn't re marry either. None of it makes sense. Another thing to remember is that not all marriages end in divorce due to the actions of both parties. It can end because of one person destroying the marriage, it doesn't always take two to tango. Obviously I feel much more strongly about this because of my own 'failed' nikah.

                                Everyone should be allowed to share their thoughts within limits.

                                ​​​​​
                                Ya I totally agree. Just fyi what I was saying there wasn't my opinions, I was just exploring the idea, that if we ban unmarried people then by the same logic we'd have to also ban divorced people since technically they haven't been in a successful marriage, so they don't have that experience, I wasn't blaming them for the divorce. And then also we'd have to ban married people who give bad advice.

                                I just don't understand how the person who removed my comment found it as bad advice, when they left many other comments be, including their own which that OP even said the advice was way off.

                                Comment

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