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  • There is love or not

    love = to have feelings toward your partner

    I am asking this because are here, in the top of section two threads where the women are more likely to be evaluated like some things which can be replaced.
    I will give you only one example:a sis wishing to do the aalimah course, get between other replies the great question about : could i marry second time until you finish the course ?
    What is marriage and a better question: with whom are we marrying?There is any point to marry when you hear how can talk the men, deserve to loose your years to make happy a man and hear such questions?
    :) t. l. poetry corner
    So I stay in my chair, staring into the fire,
    Thinking of where are you at this hour :scratch:

  • #2
    Re: There is love or not

    Sorry but can you rephrase your question? I don't get what you're trying to say.
    If someone praises one of them (the believer), he says, "I know myself better than others [know me], and my Lord is more knowledgeable of me than myself. O Allah! Do not take me to task for what they say, and make me better than what they think of me, and forgive me for those sins which they are unaware of."

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    • #3
      Re: There is love or not

      i think she is saying whats the point in getting married if the man wants another wife just because you want to go to school? i dunno...

      well mara, when most men get married its because they want a wife. many men regardless of religion might not be happy with their wife leaving for years and having to live out of the home.

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      • #4
        Re: There is love or not

        Rephrased:
        • a woman get marry with a man
        • she is very attentive with her husband
        • at one point she decide to improve her religious knowledge - i hope that it means aalimah
        • she ask her husband to be agreed-husband which until than enjoyed his marriage
        • and her husband reply with: can i marry with other woman until you will finish the course?
        At this point my question is: did she deserve to be treated in this way? Is not like you lost your years from the life taking care a man which would not deserve it, for sure?

        Thats my point. For many marriage are only oportunities to exploit others until you will feel well.
        :) t. l. poetry corner
        So I stay in my chair, staring into the fire,
        Thinking of where are you at this hour :scratch:

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        • #5
          Re: There is love or not

          Originally posted by Tahiyah View Post
          i think she is saying whats the point in getting married if the man wants another wife just because you want to go to school? i dunno...

          well mara, when most men get married its because they want a wife. many men regardless of religion might not be happy with their wife leaving for years and having to live out of the home.
          I am not saying this. Its about respecting other wishes.For man my wishes should have the same value like his wishes. He should not step over the wife wishing.
          :) t. l. poetry corner
          So I stay in my chair, staring into the fire,
          Thinking of where are you at this hour :scratch:

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          • #6
            Re: There is love or not

            no the wife didn't deserve to even have her husband even think about another wife.

            But i think that the husband is more worried about his needs when she is on this course, then her needs while she is on the course.

            personally, if i was in that case, i dont think i could marry another wife, everyone of us is different, you wont get another wife like your 1st.
            A small Du'a can make a big difference :D
            Make Dua for your brothers and sisters, wouldn't you want good things to happen to them as much as good things happening to you?

            http://onlybeautyinislam.wordpress.com

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            • #7
              Re: There is love or not

              Originally posted by zaki View Post
              no the wife didn't deserve to even have her husband even think about another wife.

              But i think that the husband is more worried about his needs when she is on this course, then her needs while she is on the course.

              personally, if i was in that case, i dont think i could marry another wife, everyone of us is different, you wont get another wife like your 1st.
              This replies should be expected from our bro and sis which post in the marriage section :) Are moments when i read the posts from certain threads from here we are cold material runners, having 0 feelings for the partner
              :) t. l. poetry corner
              So I stay in my chair, staring into the fire,
              Thinking of where are you at this hour :scratch:

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              • #8
                Re: There is love or not

                not.

                :)

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                • #9
                  Re: There is love or not

                  Using the example about the school I dont think its fair to say the man doesnt love the wife, the same can be said about the wife.

                  And the problem really isnt the man marrying a second wife but the reasons behind that decision.

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                  • #10
                    Re: There is love or not

                    The wife should listen to her husband. If he is not happy for her to go to boarding school, then she should leave it as the primary fard of the wife is to please the husband.

                    She will gain more reward by doing that than going to study to become an Aalimah.

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                    • #11
                      Re: There is love or not

                      Originally posted by Nawar View Post
                      not.

                      :)
                      Agreed with you:) Completely

                      This thread is not about the course :( It was about the posts which are here , in the marriage sections, posts which shows there is no love, only interests, like Nawar have noticed too.This is the today world:(
                      :) t. l. poetry corner
                      So I stay in my chair, staring into the fire,
                      Thinking of where are you at this hour :scratch:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: There is love or not

                        But not all marriages are like this. There are many marriages which are filled with love and these kind of situations and ways of thinking normally don't come about in those cases. But it's the same in Muslim and non Muslim marriages... some have more love in them than others. The difference is that the Muslim man even if he didnt love the wife, he is compelled by his Lord still to treat her properly. [Sometimes that is not the case, astaghfirullah but thats not the correct way]. Another thing is that alot of the time Muslim people are not showing affection and all of this in public, so perhaps others are misunderstanding it like we generally don't have love in our marriages but it is just a different way of conducting ourselves..
                        I also don't like it when some brothers seem to have this attitude of replacing their wife, for example they say "I would like to get two wives so when one is away the other can cook for me." - It shows they care not about the wife themself much but more about the service they get from that wife, which is a shame. But I think it is the minority who take this attitude.
                        .: Rufaida :.
                        .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
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                        “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                        but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                        ~ Ibn Atallah

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                        • #13
                          Re: There is love or not

                          Originally posted by anna2000uk View Post
                          But not all marriages are like this. There are many marriages which are filled with love and these kind of situations and ways of thinking normally don't come about in those cases. But it's the same in Muslim and non Muslim marriages... some have more love in them than others. The difference is that the Muslim man even if he didnt love the wife, he is compelled by his Lord still to treat her properly. [Sometimes that is not the case, astaghfirullah but thats not the correct way]. Another thing is that alot of the time Muslim people are not showing affection and all of this in public, so perhaps others are misunderstanding it like we generally don't have love in our marriages but it is just a different way of conducting ourselves..
                          I also don't like it when some brothers seem to have this attitude of replacing their wife, for example they say "I would like to get two wives so when one is away the other can cook for me." - It shows they care not about the wife themself much but more about the service they get from that wife, which is a shame. But I think it is the minority who take this attitude.
                          Very good point mashallah.

                          :up:

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                          • #14
                            Re: There is love or not

                            Originally posted by mara View Post
                            Agreed with you:) Completely

                            This thread is not about the course :( It was about the posts which are here , in the marriage sections, posts which shows there is no love, only interests, like Nawar have noticed too.This is the today world:(
                            There is love, just gotta try hard to find it. Me, personally i would let my wife study for an aalimah nd not replace her with a second wife or even think about it if i knew that it would make her happy!

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                            • #15
                              Re: There is love or not

                              edit
                              Last edited by hayatto; 11-03-12, 05:02 PM.
                              أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله

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