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£10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

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  • £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

    Salaamu 'Alaikum to all,
    Was talking to one of the brothers about mahr and so on, I could not believe it when he said that the standard mahr that people ask for is £10,000!

    Which lead me to question on whether these people are selling their daughters or handing them over in marriage?

    I mean, is it any wonder why the shabaab would rather commit zinaa than get married? Ajeeb.

    If this is the way its all going on now, then, no way am I going to approach any Asian/Arab sister, like hell I'm giving you 10 grand of my hard earned cash, when there are Muslim children starving to death in every corner of the world.
    Honestly though, I'm seriously thinking of getting married to some revert sister who'll appreciate the fact that sometimes brothers cannot provide 10 bloody grand for mahr.

    Well anyway, wanted to find out from you lovely people, whether what I was actually true, cause it is starting to get me worried.

    Your Brother Jibril
    There is rest only in the aakhira.
    Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

    - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

    If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
    and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
    then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

    - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

    I saw a dog without any clothes on .
    That's right, a nude dog.
    The Deepweb is disgusting.
    - Unknown -


    Links
    The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
    Inheritors of Qur'aan

    Download Links





  • #2
    Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

    erm.. no its a load of gobbelty goop...

    I as a sister am not too bothered about mahr, I'm not looking for a million pounds or anything..
























































































































































    half a million will do.. :D
    - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

      Well, its not just the sisters though, is it?
      Its the damn families as well, "We want 2 trucks full of gold, INDIAN GOLD, make sure, sarees for the women of our family, even the women from next door have to get a saree, buy all the mishti from ambala, so that they have to close down for the day!"
      You know what I mean right?


      Half a million!?!?!? bet they had a name for you at school, starts with a "g", three guesses:D
      There is rest only in the aakhira.
      Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

      - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

      If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
      and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
      then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

      - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

      I saw a dog without any clothes on .
      That's right, a nude dog.
      The Deepweb is disgusting.
      - Unknown -


      Links
      The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
      Inheritors of Qur'aan

      Download Links




      Comment


      • #4
        Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

        my mahr was to be taught arabic so i could read Quran, but then when i got divorced that was a problem cos he hadnt taught me any arabic i asked a shaikh (salim al amry) he said that this was a mistake and i should have asked for a small monatery dowry similar to the amount given in marriage at the time of the sahabba but the bro was a student so i didnt want to ask for anthing else (as per the hadith of the poor man who had only an iron ring to give his wife as a dowry) so Allahu alam what other sisters ask
        Last edited by *asiya*; 07-08-06, 05:11 PM.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

          Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
          Well, its not just the sisters though, is it?
          Its the damn families as well, "We want 2 trucks full of gold, INDIAN GOLD, make sure, sarees for the women of our family, even the women from next door have to get a saree, buy all the mishti from ambala, so that they have to close down for the day!"
          You know what I mean right?


          Half a million!?!?!? bet they had a name for you at school, starts with a "g", three guesses:D
          Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

          No on more realistic terms, I don't know anyone out there asking for that much money :S

          And a practising family will definately not ask for that much..

          I think you're just being over anxious..
          - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

            Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
            Well, its not just the sisters though, is it?
            Its the damn families as well, "We want 2 trucks full of gold, INDIAN GOLD, make sure, sarees for the women of our family, even the women from next door have to get a saree, buy all the mishti from ambala, so that they have to close down for the day!"
            You know what I mean right?


            Half a million!?!?!? bet they had a name for you at school, starts with a "g", three guesses:D
            indian gold is so yesterday

            we only want platinum and diamond jewelery now :up:
            Some claim that u are like any one of us, But who can claim, to have visited the Arsh? We say bashr, but respect is also due. For mankind are like rocks, but a pearl are u. U travelled the 7Heavens, and ur eyes did not lie. For Jibril could not pass, but u, O Madani, glided by.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

              Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
              I mean, is it any wonder why the shabaab would rather commit zinaa than get married? Ajeeb.
              erm.. yes it is a wonder..

              zina is haram.. :up:
              - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                whats a shabbab
                "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                The Prophet :saw: said:

                "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                muslim

                Narrated 'Abdullah:

                The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                  Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
                  Well, its not just the sisters though, is it?
                  Its the damn families as well, "We want 2 trucks full of gold, INDIAN GOLD, make sure, sarees for the women of our family, even the women from next door have to get a saree, buy all the mishti from ambala, so that they have to close down for the day!"
                  You know what I mean right?
                  This type of dowry is not from Islam. Dowry is payable to the bride, not to her family, her extended family or the neighbourhood.

                  The example you gave is a Hindu tradition.

                  And, on a further note, I've never come across anyone asking for £10,000 as mahr. Most I've seen is £2500.
                  You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                  ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                    If the hubby has anything to offer then Alhmdullilah as a jesture of love he should offer to his wife within his means, if not then just giving her the rights she is entitled to IMO is enough Mahr for any person :)
                    Knowledge and intelligence leads one who possesses it to do good acts and prevents him from evil.

                    Ignorance on the other hand, calls the one who is ignorant to conform to his desires, even if it is harmful to him.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                      Thats one of the many reasons i am not going to marry in this country
                      Saying of Mohammed (pbuh)
                      "Reviling a Muslim is disobedience to Allah, & fighting with him is infidelity".

                      Passion Of Christ (Eesa A.S) <--- check it out :banbear: :hidban: :banbear: :hidban: :banbear: :hidban:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                        I posted this in the sis section a while ago good read! :up:

                        Dowry (Mahr): To stipulate an excessive amount is blameworthy
                        Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

                        My question relates to marriage and dowry. After 2 years of marriage talks with a particular, we are but a few months away from being married insha'allah. However, the bride and her family say that a condition which they put forward at the time of accepting our proposal was that we would pay the sister/bride a large sum of money (5 figures) should I divorce her in the future. I do not recall ever accepting such conditions, to the contrary I have always disagreed to having any conditions placed on my marriage. Now, we are going through a very turbulent period where we have already decided to part ways, under duress. This is neither what the sister/bride nor I want. I am in no way able to accept this condition even if it means I do not have to pay ''unless'' I divorce her. This figure was in no way discussed between the two individuals concerned i.e. her and myself.



                        In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Mercifu
                        l,

                        The dowry (mahr) is the right of the wife/bride by which she is honoured and formally entered into wedlock (nikah). Allah Most High says:


                        Give them (women) their dowers.” (Surah al-Nisa, 24)


                        The minimum amount for dowry is ten Dirhams (30.618 grams of silver) and there is no maximum limit. Thus, the bride and groom may mutually agree upon whatever sum they desire. However, it is wrong and disliked to fix a large sum as dowry, especially when the groom is not financially capable of paying the amount.


                        Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Do not stipulate excessive amounts as dowry for women. If (doing so) was a token of honour in this world or a source of piety by Allah, then the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have been more worthy of it than you….” (Sunan Tirmidhi, no 1114)


                        The groom is not obliged to pay anything in addition to the marriage payment or dowry (mahr) to the bride. It is unlawful for the bride’s family to demand something other than the dowry (for the bride) and considered to be a form of bribery (rishwah).


                        Imam al-Haskafi (Allah have mercy on him) states:

                        “If the bride’s family demand a return (m: other than the dowry) for giving her in marriage, the husband has a right to re-claim it, as this is bribery (rishwah).” (See: Radd al-Muhtar ala al-Durr, 3/56)


                        Thus, you do not have to agree to pay the bride excessive amounts as dowry or gift, neither is it wrong to refuse paying high dowries. The bride’s family cannot demand anything besides the dowry (which must be for the bride) from you, and if you did give something, you may take it back.

                        As regards to the condition of paying a large sum in case of divorce, if this amount is part of the dowry, then upon divorce you will be obliged to pay it.


                        The jurists (fuqaha) mention that dowry is of two types: immediate (mu’ajjal) and deferred (ghayr mu’ajjal). The wife has a right to demand the immediate dowry whenever she desires, but she cannot demand the deferred dowry before the date of maturity.


                        The wife may defer some amount of the dowry (mahr) to the husband’s death or divorce, in which case, upon death or divorce, she will receive the amount stipulated.


                        Imam Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) states:

                        “…As it occurs in some towns that a portion of the dowry is immediate, a portion deferred to divorce or death and a portion to be paid in installments. If he was to divorce her, the portion deferred to divorce will become immediate, but not the portion to be paid in installments. That will be received on its appropriate time whether after or prior to divorce.” (Radd al-Muhtar, 3/144)


                        In light of the above, it is not wrong for the bride to request a sum as part of dowry in the event of a divorce, for it is considered to be a deferred payment of the dowry. Yes, to stipulate an excessive amount would be considered blameworthy, as mentioned earlier.


                        However, you are completely at liberty in agreeing or disagreeing with this amount as dowry. It is not even wrong or blameworthy to refuse such conditions, rather the opposite if the figure is quite high.

                        In conclusion, marriage payment (mahr) is something that is mutually agreed upon by the groom and bride. It can all be immediate or some amount may be deferred to death or divorce. It is something that you and the bride will have to mutually agree upon, and no one party can enforce a sum on the other. The bride’s family cannot demand anything other than her dowry, for that is unlawful, sinful and a form of bribery.


                        And Allah knows best

                        Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
                        Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK
                        Knowledge and intelligence leads one who possesses it to do good acts and prevents him from evil.

                        Ignorance on the other hand, calls the one who is ignorant to conform to his desires, even if it is harmful to him.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                          Originally posted by muslimah85 View Post
                          I posted this in the sis section a while ago good read! :up:

                          Dowry (Mahr): To stipulate an excessive amount is blameworthy
                          Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

                          My question relates to marriage and dowry. After 2 years of marriage talks with a particular, we are but a few months away from being married insha'allah. However, the bride and her family say that a condition which they put forward at the time of accepting our proposal was that we would pay the sister/bride a large sum of money (5 figures) should I divorce her in the future. I do not recall ever accepting such conditions, to the contrary I have always disagreed to having any conditions placed on my marriage. Now, we are going through a very turbulent period where we have already decided to part ways, under duress. This is neither what the sister/bride nor I want. I am in no way able to accept this condition even if it means I do not have to pay ''unless'' I divorce her. This figure was in no way discussed between the two individuals concerned i.e. her and myself.


                          In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Mercifu
                          l,

                          The dowry (mahr) is the right of the wife/bride by which she is honoured and formally entered into wedlock (nikah). Allah Most High says:


                          Give them (women) their dowers.” (Surah al-Nisa, 24)


                          The minimum amount for dowry is ten Dirhams (30.618 grams of silver) and there is no maximum limit. Thus, the bride and groom may mutually agree upon whatever sum they desire. However, it is wrong and disliked to fix a large sum as dowry, especially when the groom is not financially capable of paying the amount.


                          Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Do not stipulate excessive amounts as dowry for women. If (doing so) was a token of honour in this world or a source of piety by Allah, then the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have been more worthy of it than you….” (Sunan Tirmidhi, no 1114)


                          The groom is not obliged to pay anything in addition to the marriage payment or dowry (mahr) to the bride. It is unlawful for the bride’s family to demand something other than the dowry (for the bride) and considered to be a form of bribery (rishwah).


                          Imam al-Haskafi (Allah have mercy on him) states:

                          “If the bride’s family demand a return (m: other than the dowry) for giving her in marriage, the husband has a right to re-claim it, as this is bribery (rishwah).” (See: Radd al-Muhtar ala al-Durr, 3/56)


                          Thus, you do not have to agree to pay the bride excessive amounts as dowry or gift, neither is it wrong to refuse paying high dowries. The bride’s family cannot demand anything besides the dowry (which must be for the bride) from you, and if you did give something, you may take it back.

                          As regards to the condition of paying a large sum in case of divorce, if this amount is part of the dowry, then upon divorce you will be obliged to pay it.


                          The jurists (fuqaha) mention that dowry is of two types: immediate (mu’ajjal) and deferred (ghayr mu’ajjal). The wife has a right to demand the immediate dowry whenever she desires, but she cannot demand the deferred dowry before the date of maturity.


                          The wife may defer some amount of the dowry (mahr) to the husband’s death or divorce, in which case, upon death or divorce, she will receive the amount stipulated.


                          Imam Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) states:

                          “…As it occurs in some towns that a portion of the dowry is immediate, a portion deferred to divorce or death and a portion to be paid in installments. If he was to divorce her, the portion deferred to divorce will become immediate, but not the portion to be paid in installments. That will be received on its appropriate time whether after or prior to divorce.” (Radd al-Muhtar, 3/144)


                          In light of the above, it is not wrong for the bride to request a sum as part of dowry in the event of a divorce, for it is considered to be a deferred payment of the dowry. Yes, to stipulate an excessive amount would be considered blameworthy, as mentioned earlier.


                          However, you are completely at liberty in agreeing or disagreeing with this amount as dowry. It is not even wrong or blameworthy to refuse such conditions, rather the opposite if the figure is quite high.

                          In conclusion, marriage payment (mahr) is something that is mutually agreed upon by the groom and bride. It can all be immediate or some amount may be deferred to death or divorce. It is something that you and the bride will have to mutually agree upon, and no one party can enforce a sum on the other. The bride’s family cannot demand anything other than her dowry, for that is unlawful, sinful and a form of bribery.


                          And Allah knows best

                          Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
                          Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK

                          If only people follow everything in quran and sunnah (thats for every1 including me) - we wouldnt have any problems at all
                          Saying of Mohammed (pbuh)
                          "Reviling a Muslim is disobedience to Allah, & fighting with him is infidelity".

                          Passion Of Christ (Eesa A.S) <--- check it out :banbear: :hidban: :banbear: :hidban: :banbear: :hidban:

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                            Thats crazy man, id never pay more then 100 pound for a girl, but if someone else is gonna pay more , e.g. parents or woteva , den dont be too worried, its their loss.
                            "Closer and closer to mankind comes their Reckoning: yet they heed not and they turn away" (21:1)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: £10,000 Mahr!?!?!?!?

                              I think a fair Mahr should be about £500 - £1000
                              Saying of Mohammed (pbuh)
                              "Reviling a Muslim is disobedience to Allah, & fighting with him is infidelity".

                              Passion Of Christ (Eesa A.S) <--- check it out :banbear: :hidban: :banbear: :hidban: :banbear: :hidban:

                              Comment

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