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Shocked

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  • Shocked

    Salaamu 'Alaikum,
    I am really saddened and shocked at some of the posts on the marriage section, some sound like they are coming from the mouths of wife beaters, while others sound like they are coming from the mouths of extreme feminists....
    May I remind all that the Messenger SAW and his wives sometimes had marital problems, and sometimes it got so bad that Allah sent Jibril with wahy, and please try to acknowledge the severity of the situation, ayaatul qur'aan were revaled because of the problems/arguments the prophet had with his wives!
    But did the prophet SAW resort to stating his rights and obligations? NO...
    rather they rectified the situation and forgave each other...
    There were instances where 'Aaisha even hit the prophet on his chest, while they were arguing, did he hit her back? NO...
    Yes, in some cases, Allah allows husbands to beat their wives, but only as a last resort, did the messenger ever hit any of his wives?NO...
    did the messenger only provide them with food and rent?NO...
    He used to help look after the upkeep of the house even though it was not fard on him...
    In the same breath, the wives of the prophet and the sahaaba, used to look after the home and children, even though it might not have fard upon them...
    the wives of the sahaaba sometimes worked so hard that the skin of their beautiful hands used to go coarse and fall off, did they complain and say "its not fard on me" ? NO...

    Brothers and sisters, know that we compliment each other...
    The best man is the one who is good to his wife and the best woman is the one who puts a smile on her husbands face whenever he sees her....
    Brothers, name me one prophet (with the exception of Aadam AS) that came into this world without having to come through a woman, even 'Isa ibn Maryam had to come through a woman...
    Sisters, name me one woman that was guided to the truth without having to be guided by a man....
    Point being that we compliment each other, like a hand to a glove...
    We need to stop this vulture culture that we have created, always trying to find faults with our spouses, be they man or woman...
    if there is something bad in your husband, know that there are 4 other qualities that will make you happy, and if there is a fault with your wife, know that there are 6 other qualities that make you the richest man in the world...
    I hope I have made my point clear.

    Wallahu A'lam

    Ps. The sahaaba were like cats in their houses and lions outside of them, not the other way round, now unfortunately, a muslim man acts like a kitten when he is around the kuffar, and becomes a lion when he gets home, terrorising his wife and kids, ajeeb
    Last edited by -Jibril-; 24-07-06, 12:30 PM.
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  • #2
    Re: Shocked

    JazakAllah khair for your post. It seems brothers and sisters easily fall into the traps of this stupid capitalistic society, whereby men are pitted against women, wife againt husband, husbands against wives, children against parents, young against old...and the list goes on. People are just so selfish.....May Allah protect the Muslims ameen.
    Last edited by ~*UC*~; 24-07-06, 12:50 PM.
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    • #3
      Re: Shocked

      yes it is shocking, and i find it especially so having come to Islam from kufr. some of the issues i come across wouldnt even be issues amongst the kuffar at all, ajeeb indeed , I expected that all muslim husbands would behave like the sahabba. men and women need to know how to behave, this is why we have the Quran and authentic sunnah to remind and teach us how to be decent human beings, and today especially you have to bring the daleel, because few know the basics of their deen never mind the rights of the other, and even when you bring some people daleel today, it means nothing to them at all.

      It goes straight over their heads ...whoosh they compeltly ignore the daleel as if it is nothing at all, the words of Allah ta ala the creator of all, the words of rasolAllah sallallahu alleyhi wa salam, means nothing to them, the words of the sahabbiyat, of umar ibn al khattab and the companions radiallahu anh, mean nothing at all to them they dismiss it compeletly, and then they bring u some opinion of their desires or of some shaikh over the words of Allah and his messenger or the shabbahs,yet the sahabba understood and implemented al Islam better than any of us could ever hope for.

      as Allah says "And most of them do not believe in Allah without associating others (with Him)." (Surah Yusuf 12:106) ...Allahu alam) its not about material rights or rights at all, its about being practising muslims- this is why we have revelation- which taught men and women how to behave.Thats the purpose of shariah to implement and protect the rights of others and instil justice in the land

      if a man is not fulfilling his rights to his wife, then he is disobeying Allah ta ala same goes for a wife if she is denying her husband his rights then she is disobeying Allah. so rights are not about what women or men are demanding in some material sense rights are not a dirty word, they are divine guidance from Allah ta ala and not fulfilling the rights = disobeying our rabb.

      muslims dont care about the material stuff they can get through anything as long as the one they choose to spend their life with and hope to enter jannah with insha Allah ta ala is with them their garment, their best freind.Just look at the muslims of palestine kashmir chechnya etc they have nothing but each other and their children and its enough for them subhanallah, but those men and women are happy in their marriages because no matter what their circumstances they find themselves in men are still being men and women are still being women.obeying Allah ta ala. I have heard of wonderful muslim men of chechniya and afghanistan who delibrately married women who had been raped by the kuffar and raised their child, as a muslim child, subhanallah these are real men and women.

      It is impossible to have any problems in a marriage at all, even with interfering in-laws or whatever, if each spouse is fulfilling their obedience to Allah ta ala by knowing and implementing alllll of his/ her deen, many dont even know all of their deen and how many aspects it covers in our lifes, (try all aspects) from waking to sleeping, to which foot we walk into the bathroom with or leave with first, the duaas we say before we eat or sleep, or the two rakats we can pray before leaving the house, wearing correct islamic clothing, putting your right shoe on first,sititing down while doing that, reciting ayats in times of difficuty, asking Allah to forgive and protect us from foul speech, lying or harsh behaviour, duaas before travelling, getting in your car in the bus, how we should be ready to even move a stick from the roadway,pick up some litter, be kind to your neighbours give them gifts take them food and look after them even if they are kuffar, closing the windows and doors till after sunset, saying bismillah when entering our homes, greeting every muslim that you see with the salam, and on and on ... there is not one minute of the day where we do not have to implement a part of our deen. Because Allah is the all see-er the all knower and death is coming soon for each of us.

      we have the solution for all the problems. return to Allah and his messenger. Any problems in the marriage are only due to people not fulfilling the commands of Allah ta ala and his messenger. Allah knows his creation best and what works best for us,and what will bring resentment and loss of love between two people. Islam is our manual for life our gauidance and solution to all social, marital and economic problems.

      We just need to actually implement it and stop thinking that we can get away with any even tiny little transgression against spouses, even a glance at a stranger (adultery of the eyes) or neglecting to tell your husband how much money you actually spent and lying to him about that, or trangressing against any muslim at all for that matter, at any time whether married to them or not, for Allah loves not the transgressors...

      " It is not for a believer, man or woman, when All‚h and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys All‚h and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error."
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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