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  • Just keeping it in the family

    Assalaamu 'Alaikum,
    Just wanted to know what you all thought about people getting mariied within the family, like a sister marrying her uncles son, or a brother marrying his first cousin, I see alot of Asian/Arab families still hanging onto this tradition.
    Now before anyone starts biting my head off stating that some of the sahaaba RA married their cousins, I'm not talking about whether its halaal or not, I just want to know what you would do if your parents wanted you to marry your cousin.

    Would you remember that its an obligaton to obey your parents as long as they're asking for halaal?
    Or would you make vomiting gestures indicating your disgust at such an idea?
    There is rest only in the aakhira.
    Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

    - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

    If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
    and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
    then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

    - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

    I saw a dog without any clothes on .
    That's right, a nude dog.
    The Deepweb is disgusting.
    - Unknown -


    Links
    The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
    Inheritors of Qur'aan

    Download Links





  • #2
    Re: Just keeping it in the family

    Vomiting gestures.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Just keeping it in the family

      :wswrwb:

      I'm sure we have a HUGE thread about this subject in General.
      [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][B]My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.[COLOR=sienna]- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi[/COLOR][/B]

      [/FONT][/CENTER]
      [/CENTER]
      [CENTER][CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Shaykh al-Shadhili

      [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Jibreel (as)
      [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER]
      [/CENTER]

      [CENTER] [B][I][SIZE=4] ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ[/SIZE]<o></o>[/I][/B]
      [B]O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
      Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. [COLOR=Sienna]- Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

      [/COLOR][/B][I][B][SIZE=4]أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.[COLOR=Sienna]ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/I]
      [/CENTER]

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Just keeping it in the family

        Marrying in the family? I would'nt favour it. If the marriage goes sour theres bound to be problems within the family, grudges and bad feeling and all that.
        Please Re-update your Signature

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Just keeping it in the family

          Originally posted by Omar
          Vomiting gestures.
          Salaamun 'Alaik,
          And you must be the apple of your father's eye!

          Sorry folks, I forgot to use the search function.

          Ma'salaam
          Jibril
          There is rest only in the aakhira.
          Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

          - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

          If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
          and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
          then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

          - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

          I saw a dog without any clothes on .
          That's right, a nude dog.
          The Deepweb is disgusting.
          - Unknown -


          Links
          The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
          Inheritors of Qur'aan

          Download Links




          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Just keeping it in the family

            Well seeing as i got no female cousins on dads side not an issue isit

            did i hit a nerve wid u, All the best for urs

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Just keeping it in the family

              Originally posted by Omar
              Well seeing as i got no female cousins on dads side not an issue isit

              did i hit a nerve wid u, All the best for urs
              Salaamun 'Alaik,
              I feel the same way nrother, my mother did want me to marry her niece some time ago, but she kind of understood my answer when I got home a photo of another sister asking what she thought of her...

              Ma'salaam
              There is rest only in the aakhira.
              Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

              - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

              If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
              and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
              then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

              - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

              I saw a dog without any clothes on .
              That's right, a nude dog.
              The Deepweb is disgusting.
              - Unknown -


              Links
              The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
              Inheritors of Qur'aan

              Download Links




              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Just keeping it in the family

                Originally posted by -Jibril-
                Assalaamu 'Alaikum,
                Just wanted to know what you all thought about people getting mariied within the family, like a sister marrying her uncles son, or a brother marrying his first cousin, I see alot of Asian/Arab families still hanging onto this tradition.
                Now before anyone starts biting my head off stating that some of the sahaaba RA married their cousins, I'm not talking about whether its halaal or not, I just want to know what you would do if your parents wanted you to marry your cousin.

                Would you remember that its an obligaton to obey your parents as long as they're asking for halaal?
                Or would you make vomiting gestures indicating your disgust at such an idea?
                Thats not the case in marriage, that you are obliged to marry whoever your parents tell you to. Both the guy and the girl both have the right not to agree to it if they are not satisfied with the person for any reason. Consent is necessary for the nikah to be valid....

                Anyway, as for me none of my 1st cousins are Muslim neway so was not an issue for me
                .: Rufaida :.
                .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                ~ Ibn Atallah

                Ramadan Activities for Children
                <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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                • #9
                  Re: Just keeping it in the family

                  In some families its a no win situation.. if you dont' marry in family, your aunts uncles all stop talking to your parents and theres a big family feud over it.. and if you do, if anything goes wrong or you argue, the WHOLE family argues and breaks apart.. or if the family argues, then it effects the married couple and they end up ruining their marriage over it..

                  Can get very very messy.
                  [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][B]My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.[COLOR=sienna]- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi[/COLOR][/B]

                  [/FONT][/CENTER]
                  [/CENTER]
                  [CENTER][CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Shaykh al-Shadhili

                  [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Jibreel (as)
                  [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER]
                  [/CENTER]

                  [CENTER] [B][I][SIZE=4] ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ[/SIZE]<o></o>[/I][/B]
                  [B]O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
                  Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. [COLOR=Sienna]- Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

                  [/COLOR][/B][I][B][SIZE=4]أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.[COLOR=Sienna]ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/I]
                  [/CENTER]

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Just keeping it in the family

                    I wouldnt wanna marry my relatives :S dads loads of cousins n his sister got a kid... I dont like my dads side of the family 2 b honest .. theyr'e more into culture and like when my bro got married outside the family dads cousin was like "oh I'm gna break his legs" but he still ended up comin to tha weddin ..for free food they always do that.

                    And like SoulAsylum said, if something happens then there will be major arguments in the family.
                    Oh Allah,
                    Make me want that which is beneficial for me...
                    And make beneficial for me that which I want.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Just keeping it in the family

                      So true best to avoid all the aggro and get married outside the family. Also it makes the ummah strong marrying outside the family, spreading and building new relations instead of keeping it limited to the family and immediate family.
                      Last edited by SoulAsylum; 19-07-06, 05:05 PM.
                      Please Re-update your Signature

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Just keeping it in the family

                        But still for some people it is ideal and they are happy with it.. each to their own in the end, depends on the family, circumstances and the individual.
                        [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][B]My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.[COLOR=sienna]- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi[/COLOR][/B]

                        [/FONT][/CENTER]
                        [/CENTER]
                        [CENTER][CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Shaykh al-Shadhili

                        [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Jibreel (as)
                        [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER]
                        [/CENTER]

                        [CENTER] [B][I][SIZE=4] ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ[/SIZE]<o></o>[/I][/B]
                        [B]O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
                        Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. [COLOR=Sienna]- Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

                        [/COLOR][/B][I][B][SIZE=4]أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.[COLOR=Sienna]ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/I]
                        [/CENTER]

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Just keeping it in the family

                          most parents want their daughters to marry within the family because they think a guy from the family is more likely to treat her with respect
                          which is not usually the case :p
                          Some claim that u are like any one of us, But who can claim, to have visited the Arsh? We say bashr, but respect is also due. For mankind are like rocks, but a pearl are u. U travelled the 7Heavens, and ur eyes did not lie. For Jibril could not pass, but u, O Madani, glided by.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Just keeping it in the family

                            It depends on the individuals, if both are happy fine. Just as long as they both like each other and are not being pressured into marrying because of a promise made by your father/mother to your uncle/auntie 20 years ago
                            Please Re-update your Signature

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Just keeping it in the family

                              Marrying cousins is bad for the gene pool, causes inbreeding and I definatly don't want any inbred children. Fortunatly all my female cousins are either married or getting married soon so insha'allah such problems shouldnt arise.
                              How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood? :banbear:

                              Comment

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