Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

[SimpleQuest]

AsalaamuAlaikum,

I'm a sister looking for an answer to some thoughts I have in my mind about marriage in Islam. If you can take some time to answer this question, as thoroughly as possible, I would really appreciate it. JazakAllah. Or if you know of someone who is well versed in the topic and may provide a better answer, please direct me to them.

My question is do with inter-marriage between sunnis and shias.

I am a sunni woman and wondering about marriage to a shia man. At this stage in my life, I am looking at getting married in the next couple of years. A friend who is shia, has recently been of some interest. I respect his values and attiquettes and they way he is. Of course, before I take any irrational steps or do something the deen does not agree with, ie. talk to him about the interest and potential marriage, I would like to make sure this is permissible. Religion is one of the most important factors to look at when deciding on a partner for marriage.

Speaking with fellow friends and family, I've heard many different things. I want to look at this logically and see is there really such a difference. Do the shias believe something that a muslim should not? The shias are not a different faith entirely, but simple a different sect, and I know we even have variations within the sunnis. What is it exactly that makes me a sunni and him a shia? What is the core difference? Is it big enough to cause problems for my future generation. Would it be wrong for me to let the kids not get confused and only follow one side, would that classify as them not being rightly guided muslims anymore and as a result of my irrational decision to marry a shia man? Or as long as some things are decided pre-marriage, it does not matter because essentially the belief is the same, with minor differences that are harmless. Basically, is it alright for me to marry a shia man?

Or is this one of those gray areas that we are warned to stay away from. If it is not clear in the Quran, not found in Sunnah, then one should check sincerely with the heart. However, I'm afraid from the bias of the heart and it's deterioting decision making capability under the influence of the Shiataan at times. Of course, my knowledge about the Quraan and sunnah is also limited and hence I need to seek advice from a knowledgeable person or an imaam/scholaer. While I continue making duaa to Allah (SWT) to make what is right happen for me and to lead me to make a decision that makes my imaan stronger and does not lead me astray, or make me become one whom Allah dislikes. Ameen.

I will greatly appreciate any help you can provide in this matter.

JazakAllah-khair.

A sister seeking guidance

[Al-Irhaab]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

sister it is forbidden by all sincere ulema for a muslim man or muslim woman to marry someone from raafidah shiahs and discouraged strongly to marry someone who is of the minority zeidi shiah....

allah (SwT) has forbidden muslim women from marrying anyone who is not muslim... the raafidah shiah who are the majority curse the sahaba (ra) and accuse them of apostacy and oppressing the family of the prophet (SaW), they accuse aisha (ra) of many dirty things, they claim the quran was partially eaten by a goat and some of it is missing, they claim that their imams are better then the anbiya (As)...

you should not marry someone who is not muslim and someone who holds such views... if you think that this person is sincere then put him in touch with some brothers who perhaps can do dawah to him and correct his iman and make him muslim... if he does not hold the above views then they will teach him not to call himself shiah...

at the end of the day islam and kufr cannot be together, how would you raise your kids even. imagine his family teaching your kids that abu bakr (ra) was kaafir and an apostate? allah (swT) would ask you about all of this...

if you are looking for marriage then approact your family or friends and inshallah they can help you find someone.... do duah to allah (Swt) and he will aid you inshallah

fiamanillah i will post some fatwas tommorrow aswell about marrying shiah

[SimpleQuest]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

So no we are not allowed to marry shia? Anyone have any links that support and discuss this concept? I believe he is a Jaffrey Shia...not one of the ones you were mentioning, the Zaidi or others.

Again, I have on understanding is what is meant by saying he is a Jaffrey Shia.

[BnVs]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

Werd!!! I agree with everything you've said a 100%. I was under the similar situation a year an a half ago and I really had to look deep in of me. It was hard but now in retrospect because I made the right choice, Allah swt blessed me with the most amazing wife. :ahb:

Keep your faith sister! Of course this is just my humble opinion.

Thanks,
BnVs

NOTE: Bros and siss in Islam, please help out your sister and provide some daleel.

walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

sister it is forbidden by all sincere ulema for a muslim man or muslim woman to marry someone from raafidah shiahs and discouraged strongly to marry someone who is of the minority zeidi shiah....

allah (SwT) has forbidden muslim women from marrying anyone who is not muslim... the raafidah shiah who are the majority curse the sahaba (ra) and accuse them of apostacy and oppressing the family of the prophet (SaW), they accuse aisha (ra) of many dirty things, they claim the quran was partially eaten by a goat and some of it is missing, they claim that their imams are better then the anbiya (As)...

you should not marry someone who is not muslim and someone who holds such views... if you think that this person is sincere then put him in touch with some brothers who perhaps can do dawah to him and correct his iman and make him muslim... if he does not hold the above views then they will teach him not to call himself shiah...

at the end of the day islam and kufr cannot be together, how would you raise your kids even. imagine his family teaching your kids that abu bakr (ra) was kaafir and an apostate? allah (swT) would ask you about all of this...

if you are looking for marriage then approact your family or friends and inshallah they can help you find someone.... do duah to allah (Swt) and he will aid you inshallah

fiamanillah i will post some fatwas tommorrow aswell about marrying shiah

[-Jibril-]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

Salaamun 'Alaik,
I would really advise against it, first of all, these people curse and slander the sahaba,
we know from the ahadith of the messenger that whoever loves the sahaba is a muslim while one who hates the sahaba is not....
How will you raise your children?
He will curse 'Umar RA everytime he mentions him
(they say la'natUllahi 'Alayhi whenever they mention 'Umar, Abu Bakr, 'Aa'isha.....)
yet you will say RathiAllahuanhu, this will be one confused kid!
And may Allah forbid, but these differences will p**s the kid off so much when he/she is older that he/she might even decide that religion is a load of crap thats only good for creating divisions and break up of families......

Love/infatuation can be a very strong feeling, but you have got to bear in mind that not only will you be putting your religion at risk, but your future, your childrens future, and also bear in mind that you might not care if you are treated as an outcast by society but do think about how this is goingto affect your children, they are going to ridiculed at scholl for having a shi'a father, ridiculed for having a father that beats the crap out of himself with a machete every ashura....
can you imagine what it would be like to be that kid?

End of the day sister think about the children (well, future children) if not about yourself.

Wallahu A'lam

Ma'salaam
Jibril

[Um Abdullah]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

So no we are not allowed to marry shia? Anyone have any links that support and discuss this concept? I believe he is a Jaffrey Shia...not one of the ones you were mentioning, the Zaidi or others.

Again, I have on understanding is what is meant by saying he is a Jaffrey Shia.

Jaffrey is a fiqh madhhab of shi'a, it is not a shi'a sect from what I know.
Shi'a don't go by the four Imams of the four madhhabs (Imams: Abu Hanifa, Malik, Shafi'i, Ibn Hanbal rahimahum Allah), they have their own fiqh madhhab which is "jaffary".

So he is going to be different than you in fiqh also, they have some strange things in fiqh.
Also you should know that some shi'a are ignorant about their deen, so they might deny some of the stuff that we say they believe in (also they believe in tuqya so that might be another reason why they will deny), and the way to know if they believe in something or not is to bring proof from their sources.
And insha Allah brothers and sisters here will bring proof for their claims.

[AlDhikr]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

As Salaamu Alaikum,

There Kalima is different.
They pray 3 times a day instead of 5.
They put there foreheads on a rock when they perform sujda, during salaah.
They believe in Muta' (temporary marriage/prostitution).
They believe Iblis is a fallen angel, like our Christian friends, whilst we know he is a Jin.
Many of their sects believe the angel Gabriel mistakenly went to Muhammad (saw), when in fact he was meant to go to Ali (ra).
Ali (ra) hates them.
They believe it's ok to drink Alcohol.
They beat themselves in Ashura, something akin to the concept of original sin in Christianity.
At least 8 of their sects are kafir.
They believe in a hereditary theocracy, whilst we believe in an elected theocracy.
They follow their imams blindly, even above the Qur’an and Sunnah.

Ma'aSalaama

[nami]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

As Salaamu Alaikum,

There Kalima is different.
They pray 3 times a day instead of 5.
They put there foreheads on a rock when they perform sujda, during salaah.
They believe in Muta' (temporary marriage/prostitution).
They believe Iblis is a fallen angel, like our Christian friends, whilst we know he is a Jin.
Many of their sects believe the angel Gabriel mistakenly went to Muhammad (saw), when in fact he was meant to go to Ali (ra).
Ali (ra) hates them.
They believe it's ok to drink Alcohol.
They beat themselves in Ashura, something akin to the concept of original sin in Christianity.
At least 8 of their sects are kafir.
They believe in a hereditary theocracy, whilst we believe in an elected theocracy.
They follow their imams blindly, even above the Qur’an and Sunnah.

Ma'aSalaama

Even though I am sunni, I am going to have to disagree with some of these points because they are not true. e.g:

The following are not true about the shia:

They pray 3 times a day instead of 5.
They believe it's ok to drink Alcohol.

Only reason I know this is because there is a shia in the company I work in and he always prayers 5 times a day and will never eat anything which might have alcohol in it.

I can confirm that the following are correct because I have seen him do them or heard him approve of them:

There Kalima is different.
They put there foreheads on a rock when they perform sujda, during salaah.
They believe in Muta' (temporary marriage/prostitution).
They beat themselves in Ashura, something akin to the concept of original sin in Christianity.
They follow their imams blindly, even above the Qur’an and Sunnah.

And the following I don't know about so I can't comment:

They believe Iblis is a fallen angel, like our Christian friends, whilst we know he is a Jin.
Many of their sects believe the angel Gabriel mistakenly went to Muhammad (saw), when in fact he was meant to go to Ali (ra).
Ali (ra) hates them.
At least 8 of their sects are kafir.
They believe in a hereditary theocracy, whilst we believe in an elected theocracy.

[AlDhikr]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

As Salaamu Alaikum,

There are so many different variants of Shia's. What I said was only what I gained from my experience with them.

Ma'aSalaama

[nami]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

I am a sunni woman and wondering about marriage to a shia man. At this stage in my life, I am looking at getting married in the next couple of years. A friend who is shia, has recently been of some interest. I respect his values and attiquettes and they way he is. Of course, before I take any irrational steps or do something the deen does not agree with, ie. talk to him about the interest and potential marriage, I would like to make sure this is permissible. Religion is one of the most important factors to look at when deciding on a partner for marriage.

By reading this thread, I am sure you now have the answer you are looking for. However, the bit I highlighted above, is a problem. In islam you should not be "friends" with the opposite sex! Free mixing is not permitted in islam.

But just in case you are still not sure of the answer to your question sis, please read this fatwa:

Question :

i need to find some useful info about shias and thier difference between us sunnis... i know this man and he loves me very much and wishes to marry me - forever not the mut aa type of marraige, however i know his bsiefs are not in line with the sunnis so i ahve discussed this wiht him and he has agreed to to research the differences - i ma hoping that this way he will be able to decide for himself which is the right path my problem is that i ma not able to find any sights whihc provide proper comparison and which do not directly accuse shias as being wwrong - i wish to talk to someone about this aaas i know there I wll be questions raised between me and this person however i need assistance and would much apreciate it if i could talk to someone or get a source where even he could study which would not make him feel as if his beiefs are being pout down - i think that telling soeone softly and nicely will amke a person more willing to listen than saying his beilefs are worng

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

by al-Dahlawi, or by Naasir al-Qaffaari.

We would also remind you that it is not permitted to have relationships with non-mahram men, as you will find explained clearly in Questions 2005 , 9465 And 1114 We ask Allaah to help you to do all that is good.

www.islam-qa.com)

[nami]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

As Salaamu Alaikum,

There are so many different variants of Shia's. What I said was only what I gained from my experience with them.

Ma'aSalaama

Salaam,

Good point!

W'Salaam

[AlDhikr]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

They believe in a hereditary theocracy, whilst we believe in an elected theocracy.

This was the start of their division, they didn't accept Abu Bakr (ra), Umr (ra) nor Uthman (ra) as khaleef's, their argument being that the Amir ul-Mu'mineen can only be from amongst the ahlul-Bayt, the prophets (saw) family. There after they made every little thing an issue.

They believe in the 12 imaams, I still don't understand this one.

Ma'aSalaama

[nami]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

This was the start of their division, they didn't accept Abu Bakr (ra), Umr (ra) nor Uthman (ra) as khaleef's, their argument being that the Amir ul-Mu'mineen can only be from amongst the ahlul-Bayt, the prophets (saw) family. There after they made every little thing an issue.

They believe in the 12 imaams, I still don't understand this one.

Ma'aSalaama

I heard a shia co worker say to me once, Ask Allah, Ali (ra), and the 12 imaams for help! I thought you just contradicted the very first page of the Quran e.g.

001.005
PICKTHAL: Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) we ask for help.

[AlDhikr]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

As Salaamu Alaikum,

They do it (i.e. associating partners with Allah [swt], shirk) openly for all to see. But many Sunni's do it too, and don't even realise it. That’s why I found Salaafism to be the safest bet.

Ma'aSalaama

[-Jibril-]

Re: Shia-Sunni Intermarriage

Salaamu 'Alaikum,
Look brothers and sisters, the sister came on here to ask if she should marry the shi'a guy, not to ask whether all shi'a are kuffar or not....
you guys just keep on amazing me with your posts *sarcasm*
And for the record, NO, I'm not a shi'a lover who wants everyone to "unite" under some false delusion, because there never will be unity with the people who curse the sahaba, and note, I said "people who curse the sahaaba"...
Not all shi'a are kuffar, there are those amongst shi'a who believe that 'Ali RA should have been khalifa to the messenger SAW, but since he wasnt, they just leave it and carry on with life, just as you and me do, they love all of the sahaaba, and do exactly the things we do....
But the majority of them have one way or another gone outside the fold of ahlus-sunnah because of the fact that they curse the sahaaba, and lie against the mother of the believers...
And as muslims, we cannot accept this sort of behaviour, so therefore, they have gone out of the fold....

Anyway, going back to the point of the thread,
Sister, once again I will urge you to think about the consequences of your actions, if you decide to go ahead and get married to this guy, know that there will always be a stigma attached not only to yourself but to your children as well.
You might not care about what people think of you or your marriage to a shi'a, but your children will be ridiculed for having a father, that maybe curses the sahaaaba, maybe bows down to graves, and beats the crap out of himself during ashura....
Think of the confusion your children will have to face, mother telling them 'umar RA was a just leader, the best thing after the ambia...
then daddy telling them, 'Umar was a peodophile who deserves to die because he stole from 'Ali...
I'm sorry sister, but these children will get so frustrated and annoyed that they might come to the conclusion that religion is a load of crap that only creates emnity and hatred between people....
And who will be held responsible? yep, you...why? because you fell for the wrong guy and decided to follow your heart instead of your head.

Wallahu A'lam

PS.I apologise for the long post