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a girl does not gotta go

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  • #16
    Re: a girl does not gotta go

    Well if my husband regarded my family, his in-laws, as his 'associates' I dont think Id be very pleased to be honest.

    Obviously they will be your family, and you you will have to interact with them to a certain extent. To what extent varies from people to people, and how much is required also varies. So its something that has to be considered and deduced.

    Maybe the problem is the distance people create between themselves and their inlaws, lack of communication and understanding that leads to problems. Not the fact they are 'too close', for surely, if you were close, like someone is close with their own family in reagrds to understanding and knowing each other, this would be a good thing.

    Literal closeness is probably the issue being referred to though I assume :p

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    • #17
      Re: a girl does not gotta go

      Nawar though I think with ur own parents you have an automatic and natural closeness because they brought you up, you known them all ur life. When u have never met someone except like 2 times, then suddenly they regard themselves as like ur parents and feel they can tell you what to do and not to give any privacy, it's just too much :S They would never be able 2 be proper close like ur own parents, bc noone can get to that level esp since ur parents nurtured and cared for you but sometimes with inlaws they are infact doing the opposite (bossing, interfering, being mean etc) :S
      .: Rufaida :.
      .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
      http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
      “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
      but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
      ~ Ibn Atallah

      Ramadan Activities for Children
      <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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      • #18
        Re: a girl does not gotta go

        Originally posted by anna2000uk
        Nawar though I think with ur own parents you have an automatic and natural closeness because they brought you up, you known them all ur life. When u have never met someone except like 2 times, then suddenly they regard themselves as like ur parents and feel they can tell you what to do and not to give any privacy, it's just too much :S They would never be able 2 be proper close like ur own parents, bc noone can get to that level esp since ur parents nurtured and cared for you but sometimes with inlaws they are infact doing the opposite (bossing, interfering, being mean etc) :S
        yeah I do understand what you mean sis.

        I dont think they could ever be like your own parents, but you have to work to have a good relationship with them isnt it, at least try to have some level of understanding and respect really. Like how would someone expect their spouse to behave with their parents whom they love and cherish so much??? thats how we should behave with theirs.

        If they are not co-operative and are causing problems, being mean, thats something else and obviously more serious :S.. then distance is probably better if its seriously affecting the marriage.

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        • #19
          Re: a girl does not gotta go

          yeah i agree sis nawar...why cant u treat em as ure own? i wud inshaAllah. my sisterinlaws treat my parents totally AS their own..alhamdulillah..it DOES work..and evryones happy n smilin subhanAllah..u gta work at it..

          anyways..i gta put my bed together..i shudnt even be on here.
          “The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`
          Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
          He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
          And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.”

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          • #20
            Re: a girl does not gotta go

            I think what Anna is saying is treating your inlaws as your parents, and them treating you like their daughter works both ways. If they are mean to you, then it becomes difficult to view them in the same regards as your parents (even if you persevere and let comments pass etc - theres a limit to how much you can take). And if you are mean to them, they also aren't going to sit there and take the mess you are dishing out (paraphrased - you know what I mean!)

            I doubt anyone is advocating hating your inlaws for just the sake of hating. Though hating is too strong an emotion...they'd have to be pretty ghastly for you to hate them IMO :S
            You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

            ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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            • #21
              Re: a girl does not gotta go

              yes Ebony thats what I mean
              .: Rufaida :.
              .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
              http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
              “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
              but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
              ~ Ibn Atallah

              Ramadan Activities for Children
              <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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              • #22
                Re: a girl does not gotta go

                you could always kill the brother in law :D
                Some claim that u are like any one of us, But who can claim, to have visited the Arsh? We say bashr, but respect is also due. For mankind are like rocks, but a pearl are u. U travelled the 7Heavens, and ur eyes did not lie. For Jibril could not pass, but u, O Madani, glided by.

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                • #23
                  Re: a girl does not gotta go

                  What you have said is definetly is not the right term.. Well... i think you can be considered as 'terrorists' itself..
                  You dont have to say that aniwae....!
                  Please Re-update your Signature

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                  • #24
                    Re: a girl does not gotta go

                    Remember that He says YES and gives what you want, He say NO and gives you somthing better, or HE says WAIT and gives you the best when you are ready for it...
                    Remember Allah always coz HE is the SUFFICIENT of all us here as a slave...
                    When you remember Him, he will remember you twice than you did...
                    Please Re-update your Signature

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                    • #25
                      Re: a girl does not gotta go

                      Originally posted by Serina View Post
                      Not just brother in law is death but in laws are death

                      Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim narrate in their respectiveSahih collections, which are the most authentic books after the Book of Allah itself, from Uqba ibn Amir (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah said: “Beware of going near (non-mahram) women.” A person inquired: “What about in-laws?” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) responded, “The in-laws are death.”
                      ain't that the truth. they blame everything on the wife cuz heaven forbid their son do anything wrong.
                      Please Re-update your Signature

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