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  • #16
    Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

    Originally posted by ur_yusra
    Well Said. Alot of the after marriage pressures amongst asians is all culture.

    You have to live with your husbands family.. etc..

    Most of these things arent from Islam at all.

    Best thing to do is marry a revert I say who doesnt bring all the cultural baggage with him. I know many sisters who have married reverts and they are much more independant. I'm sure it would be quite cool giving dawah to the hubbies family as well :)

    As for moving out.. Don't remind me
    erm..i dont quiet agree bout the erm revrt thing. its not all cool.

    its true why do we have to go stay with hubbys family? mind u i wudnt mind hehe.but i wud like to stay somehere faarrrr away.:D like the northpole.:hidban:
    “The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`
    Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
    He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
    And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.”

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    • #17
      Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

      Originally posted by RaNdOm
      :salams

      i was just wondering whats the wisdom behind a girl havin to leave her family to go and live with her husbands when dudes are menta be emotionally stronger anyway...

      hmmm i was gettn proper upset about this last night cos i was thinkn i have a 7yr old bro and by the time im married inshaAllah ima havta move away and like miss out on like watchin him grow up and everything, even though hes like only 7 we're proper tight, and i think we got the same kinda personality (LOL ermmm u know when hes gettn all serious and that) anyway i ended up gettin proper depressed about it cos i'll miss out on his life so much and i won't be like a proper big sister to him and i want him to come home and tell me about his day like everyday... but if im some other randoms house its not gonna be so easy... leavin ya fam is gonna be the hardest thing ever to do...

      and for any of u married couples out there, to the girls what was it like leavin ya fam? and to the guys was ya wife like majorly upset and what ya do?
      man u got like another four years left at uni and then another 1 year for vt by the time u getting married your bro will be like 12 or 13 and ull be wanting to get as far away from irritating teenagers as possible...

      man women and finding anything to cry about.... dont tell me u aint gonna miss pl thats just nasty
      And Allâh has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Fir'aun when she said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun and his work, and save me from the people who are Zâlimûn


      There is no nobility in anyone who lacks faith.

      The wise man knows that the only fitting price for his soul is a place in Paradise.

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      • #18
        Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

        Originally posted by Al-Irhaab
        man u got like another four years left at uni and then another 1 year for vt by the time u getting married your bro will be like 12 or 13 and ull be wanting to get as far away from irritating teenagers as possible...

        man women and finding anything to cry about.... dont tell me u aint gonna miss pl thats just nasty

        5 yrs? and shes already crying?????? :D
        “The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`
        Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
        He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
        And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.”

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

          Oh this thread is sad... :(

          Yeh sis random, no doubt, its such a big step and it is unfortunate that someone may have younger siblings etc, but just inshallah make sure you can ring regularly (until they probs get sick of you :p), visit whenever you can inshallah, these kinds of things. Otherwise, what else can one do :(

          Yusra man, funny you suggest that, one of my mates was chatting about that revert theory with me ageeeees ago :p

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          • #20
            Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

            Originally posted by Nawar
            Oh this thread is sad... :(

            Yeh sis random, no doubt, its such a big step and it is unfortunate that someone may have younger siblings etc, but just inshallah make sure you can ring regularly (until they probs get sick of you :p), visit whenever you can inshallah, these kinds of things. Otherwise, what else can one do :(

            Yusra man, funny you suggest that, one of my mates was chatting about that revert theory with me ageeeees ago :p
            lol.. wonder who that was.. :D

            Seriously though I mean imagine what you would have to cook for lunch..

            Waffles, beans and chips.. :p
            - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

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            • #21
              Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

              Originally posted by ur_yusra
              lol.. wonder who that was.. :D

              Seriously though I mean imagine what you would have to cook for lunch..

              Waffles, beans and chips.. :p

              and they help out with the housework.:D
              “The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`
              Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
              He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
              And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.”

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                Originally posted by ur_yusra
                lol.. wonder who that was.. :D

                Seriously though I mean imagine what you would have to cook for lunch..

                Waffles, beans and chips.. :p
                :rotfl:...lol yeh :p

                Yeh dont worry sis, I'll introduce you one day to my mate, shes got really cool theories you know :p

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                • #23
                  Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                  maybe the sisters little bro could stay with them on the weekends bet hed love that, i would if i was 7 years old :D i really dont get all this "culture" stuff, its like mental slavery to jahil traditions mostly, and the danger lies in the fact that people take their culture and apply it as if it was the islamic norm. As some of the previous bros and sisters said, its the mans responsability to take care of his parents not his wifes, nothing to do with her at all. Her responsabilities are clearly defined and nothing in Islam about her having to give up her home to her husbands family members, All well and good if shes happy to do that but its not a must at all. sooner the "cultured" muslims realise the real Islam, the better, because Allah perfected our religion for us and he subhanna wa ta ala knows his creation best, and if it was the best for us we would be ordered to live with our inlaws. But were not Alhamdulillah. :up:
                  "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                  The Prophet :saw: said:

                  "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                  muslim

                  Narrated 'Abdullah:

                  The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                  "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                  By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                  [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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                  • #24
                    Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                    Originally posted by RashidD
                    Funnily enough, in Sri Lanka the man moves in with the woman's family. Although i'd prefer it the other way around, as in if my *future* (InshaAllah) wife would come and live with me :)

                    But i hear where you're coming from... I'm away from family now and i miss my 6 year old bro like mad!
                    really I never heard this?? my in laws are all sri lankan and I never heard of ne1 doing this way round! still maybe it varies.
                    Cool to see somone on here from sri lanka btw :up:I see ur from Colombo, insha allah we are going there in the summer. I have never been there b4 (only got married last yr and we all live in UK)
                    btw do u speak tamil (the muslim tamil :p) or sinhala? (mayb both?)

                    Anywayy....
                    I think its really nice if people get married and both the families live close u can go back n see ur parents regularly :up:Like some people I know they get to go round to their mums on weekends for bbq and all that stuff, which is sooo nice. My parents are like 4 hours away, I would rather be bit closer to them but its hard to move out of London in terms of husband's jobs and stuff (altho outside London is cheaper :D)
                    all my bros and sis are grown up now anyway and living dif places (mostly london like me actually) bt still miss parents.
                    I think the best thing, although often not practical or possible, is for the couple to live in their own separate house nearby to the 2 houses of both their parents
                    .: Rufaida :.
                    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                    http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                    ~ Ibn Atallah

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                    • #25
                      Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                      Originally posted by Al-Irhaab
                      man u got like another four years left at uni and then another 1 year for vt by the time u getting married your bro will be like 12 or 13 and ull be wanting to get as far away from irritating teenagers as possible...

                      man women and finding anything to cry about.... dont tell me u aint gonna miss pl thats just nasty
                      :salams

                      someone told me they changed vt to 2 years now :P

                      and who i said i'd get married after i finished my degree? if i get married after ive done vt ima be 26... 26... thats too old for me man...

                      n nah when they reach teenagerism thats the coolest bit cos he'd like come home and tell me all his teenagerhood problems and then id sort it out for him inshaAllah.... n i would miss PL too, but she'd probably move outta home soon after and it aint the same cos i dno i've kinda like seen her grow up and we've played the whole mummies and daddies school teacher games together since we were young so its not the same, with hassan its like he'll just get inta that and i'll be gone... so LAME

                      maaan this is so weird, leavin people, worst thing u can do and worst thing ppl can do to u

                      the dude should move ta my house im sure itd be way more fun anyway hmmm

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                      • #26
                        Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                        This thread reminds me of that sad song they play in every wedding film, when the girl leaves her parents home. :p
                        "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

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                        • #27
                          Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                          Originally posted by RaNdOm
                          :salams

                          someone told me they changed vt to 2 years now :P

                          and who i said i'd get married after i finished my degree? if i get married after ive done vt ima be 26... 26... thats too old for me man...

                          n nah when they reach teenagerism thats the coolest bit cos he'd like come home and tell me all his teenagerhood problems and then id sort it out for him inshaAllah.... n i would miss PL too, but she'd probably move outta home soon after and it aint the same cos i dno i've kinda like seen her grow up and we've played the whole mummies and daddies school teacher games together since we were young so its not the same, with hassan its like he'll just get inta that and i'll be gone... so LAME

                          maaan this is so weird, leavin people, worst thing u can do and worst thing ppl can do to u

                          the dude should move ta my house im sure itd be way more fun anyway hmmm
                          w0o0o0o0o0o0oho0o0o0o0o i lak [email protected] l9 hu vdnt miz me @) i tld u man chl il cum an0y u n ur hbby evrydy :D:hidban: :hidban: :hidban: :hidban:

                          huh :S whr am i g0nna b m0vin 0ut 2 :S :shock:

                          lo0o00o0oo00oo00o0o0o0o0ol :rofl1: man iif da blke m0vd iin 2 r 0uze ed m0ve rite 0ut gain :rofl1: @):hidban: :D :hidban:

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                          • #28
                            Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                            :salams

                            loool true true... especially if u there

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                            • #29
                              Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                              Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
                              This thread reminds me of that sad song they play in every wedding film, when the girl leaves her parents home. :p
                              Yea, you would think she be happy she's going off to start a new life. But all too often the guy/girl HARDLY knows each other or given a chance to talk to each other so its no wonder she feels like she's going to a complete strangers home and bedroom. And all that eyeballing from hindi movies transcending to indian/paki culture is a bit overrated and maldramatic. Get a grip, no one died!
                              Banned permamently for not taking mods BS

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                              • #30
                                Re: a girls gotta go when a girls gotta go

                                the solution is simple... marry a freshie... he will have to stay at your house :up:
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