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    #61
    Re: Marriage fear

    Originally posted by Ekoor View Post
    Many people come her for advice after being in bad marriage or divorce.

    this could be why...
    and I guess those reading on singletons are going into a panic attack, breathe singletons, breathe

    Comment


      #62
      Re: Marriage fear

      Originally posted by Scrooge View Post
      and I guess those reading on singletons are going into a panic attack, breathe singletons, breathe
      Shouldn't believe everything we read on forums...

      Also there are many happy stories on here.

      Generally human will complain and not be grateful when thing do go right.

      Comment


        #63
        Re: Marriage fear

        Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
        The UK law overrides any Islamic laws when it comes to UK court cases. Therefore, the only logical thing a Muslim can do in the UK is to stipulate Islamic law via a UK prenup.



        I agree, so when people now say to me, just get married, I'm like, I'd rather be single than to get married to the wrong person again.
        I am so proud of you!!! I wish more men open their eyes before they taste the burn. But I realized 80% of people only learn their lesson by burning their hands 1st vs take it face value from people who experienced the burn before them. That is human nature and can't be changed. My older brother have being burned 4 times and he said enough, he is done from marriage. He spend most of his time playing video games and living his life with us in the same house. I am hoping I will die single, that is my goal actually and achievement and my twin brother who live in Australia, he is a doctor, he would treat women in a pedestal, he is awesome to his mom, his genius, he will make lots of money, he is going to be a doctor and he is single and refuses to get married.

        The only one who is effected is my mother. She -sighed- and said to herself that her destiny to leave this world and not see grand children and she says we must get married, we have to get married, personally I don't see it happening. Me and my twin brother we are 2 years away from 40's and still single and my older brother he is in his 40's and still single.
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          #64
          Re: Marriage fear

          Originally posted by Ekoor View Post
          Shouldn't believe everything we read on forums...

          Also there are many happy stories on here.

          Generally human will complain and not be grateful when thing do go right.
          The thing is that people do not need to write about good stuff. No one needs help in a good marriage. But the person who has a bad one needs advice, and will write about his/her bad stories in here.

          I am not gonna lie. Reading this section made me doubt marriage. As a singleton who never experienced marriage, it makes it look more scary than a hunted house.

          Comment


            #65
            Re: Marriage fear

            You put an image in my head when you ended the sentence with "a hunted house". I started picturing Ghouls, zombies, skeleton, etc.:D
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              #66
              Re: Marriage fear

              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
              I DONT know WHAT I FEAR BUT I FEAR SOMETHINH help me

              Ws
              F alse
              E vidence
              A ppearing
              R eal

              - Les Brown

              Sister, you have nothing to fear, you put your complete trust in Allah SWT and you'll be fine.
              He who loses money, loses much.

              He who loses a friend, loses more.

              He who loses faith, loses ALL.

              Comment


                #67
                Re: Marriage fear

                Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
                The thing is that people do not need to write about good stuff. No one needs help in a good marriage. But the person who has a bad one needs advice, and will write about his/her bad stories in here.

                I am not gonna lie. Reading this section made me doubt marriage. As a singleton who never experienced marriage, it makes it look more scary than a hunted house.
                Most people would not post how happy life is
                They want answers to their problems

                Comment


                  #68
                  Re: Marriage fear

                  Originally posted by A500DaBest View Post
                  I am so proud of you!!! I wish more men open their eyes before they taste the burn. But I realized 80% of people only learn their lesson by burning their hands 1st vs take it face value from people who experienced the burn before them. That is human nature and can't be changed. My older brother have being burned 4 times and he said enough, he is done from marriage. He spend most of his time playing video games and living his life with us in the same house. I am hoping I will die single, that is my goal actually and achievement and my twin brother who live in Australia, he is a doctor, he would treat women in a pedestal, he is awesome to his mom, his genius, he will make lots of money, he is going to be a doctor and he is single and refuses to get married.

                  The only one who is effected is my mother. She -sighed- and said to herself that her destiny to leave this world and not see grand children and she says we must get married, we have to get married, personally I don't see it happening. Me and my twin brother we are 2 years away from 40's and still single and my older brother he is in his 40's and still single.
                  Hello brother. I think your going the right way, while it's sad to hear your mom upset about not getting grandchildren I think it's the right thing, these divorce courts are insane.

                  When the law of Allah comes back then I'll get married insha'Allah. I seriously might inherit a house one day and there's no way that I will risk losing it to some ex. It's a shame more men don't wake up, no offense to the sisters, not your fault.

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Re: Marriage fear

                    Originally posted by Deen95 View Post
                    Hello brother. I think your going the right way, while it's sad to hear your mom upset about not getting grandchildren I think it's the right thing, these divorce courts are insane.

                    When the law of Allah comes back then I'll get married insha'Allah. I seriously might inherit a house one day and there's no way that I will risk losing it to some ex. It's a shame more men don't wake up, no offense to the sisters, not your fault.
                    Some women just marries cuz of the money. Here, if a divorce happens when married then everything should be divided into two. Even if the woman did not provide anything with value, she will still take your stuff, and your children if she is not mentally ill or a danger to the kids. The man has almost nothing to say but he has the right to see his kids few times a week. Unfair.
                    But we have another type of "marriage" called being cohabitant. You live together but not married. When a divorce happens each one cant take someone elses stuff unless you write something else on the contract. You can islamically be married but still write yourself as being cohabitant. Then write your islamically rules on the contract and done. Works.
                    If its youe house then the wife can't take it no matter what happens.

                    It's sad what some females do. Shame on them.
                    It's sad how some males treat their wives. Shame on them.

                    Harsh but true, you cant know when you marry but I rather take the risk because of other reasons. Being strongly independent is a requirement nowadays cuz you don't know if the man changes after a couple of years.

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Re: Marriage fear

                      Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
                      Some women just marries cuz of the money. Here, if a divorce happens when married then everything should be divided into two. Even if the woman did not provide anything with value, she will still take your stuff, and your children if she is not mentally ill or a danger to the kids. The man has almost nothing to say but he has the right to see his kids few times a week. Unfair.
                      But we have another type of "marriage" called being cohabitant. You live together but not married. When a divorce happens each one cant take someone elses stuff unless you write something else on the contract. You can islamically be married but still write yourself as being cohabitant. Then write your islamically rules on the contract and done. Works.
                      If its youe house then the wife can't take it no matter what happens.

                      It's sad what some females do. Shame on them.
                      It's sad how some males treat their wives. Shame on them.

                      Harsh but true, you cant know when you marry but I rather take the risk because of other reasons. Being strongly independent is a requirement nowadays cuz you don't know if the man changes after a couple of years.
                      Yh I know about the co habitant thing but im worried they will come after those people too. See south African Muslim Marriage Bill.

                      Comment


                        #71
                        Re: Marriage fear

                        I think strong independent woman who truly don't need a man, well educated, well financially set is great. This will liberate the burden of the shoulder of a man for wanting him for money. Maybe, maybe this will filter out the gold diggers for the true companion. Maybe?

                        but society in general will always back up the woman and will give her a trillion excuses for her bad behavior or evil act and some how the fault goes shoulder back to a man. The true question in this scenario the man have to count hundred times if he wish to agree to this scenario or enjoy his freedom and independent. It is up to a man. Having children doesn't guarantee the children will love the father. It doesn't guarantee the mother will appraise the father to her children. It doesn't guarantee the children will even do dua to you when you die. It doesn't guarantee anything.

                        These all risk factors you need to put into an account. If you know for a fact you wish to go the route of marriage you need to understand you are a resource to be used. A commodity. You must accept this or else don't get married.

                        By the way, it is always the case...but when a divorce happens the mother will always poison the child against the father and the child will always back up the mother over the father. Cutting tie between child and father is the most common thing in the world now and least cared for or taken seriously. In fact, society will frown more over a friend cutting ties with another friend than with a child cutting ties with a dad. That is another thing a man have to accept when coming to marriage. Like my oldest brother said, "You are just renting your children."
                        Last edited by A500DaBest; 11-11-17, 08:19 AM.
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                        Comment


                          #72
                          Re: Marriage fear

                          Originally posted by A500DaBest View Post
                          I think strong independent woman who truly don't need a man, well educated, well financially set is great. This will liberate the burden of the shoulder of a man for wanting him for money. Maybe, maybe this will filter out the gold diggers for the true companion. Maybe?

                          but society in general will always back up the woman and will give her a trillion excuses for her bad behavior or evil act and some how the fault goes shoulder back to a man. The true question in this scenario the man have to count hundred times if he wish to agree to this scenario or enjoy his freedom and independent. It is up to a man. Having children doesn't guarantee the children will love the father. It doesn't guarantee the mother will appraise the father to her children. It doesn't guarantee the children will even do dua to you when you die. It doesn't guarantee anything.

                          These all risk factors you need to put into an account. If you know for a fact you wish to go the route of marriage you need to understand you are a resource to be used. A commodity. You must accept this or else don't get married.

                          By the way, it is always the case...but when a divorce happens the mother will always poison the child against the father and the child will always back up the mother over the father. Cutting tie between child and father is the most common thing in the world now and least cared for or taken seriously. In fact, society will frown more over a friend cutting ties with another friend than with a child cutting ties with a dad. That is another thing a man have to accept when coming to marriage. Like my oldest brother said, "You are just renting your children."
                          Women aren't as poisonous as you make out. It doesn't matter bad ones are out there so are some real gems

                          This ranting of yours achieves little except to portray yourself as a bitter cynic

                          Harden up and get over it
                          It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                          "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Re: Marriage fear

                            Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
                            Women aren't as poisonous as you make out. It doesn't matter bad ones are out there so are some real gems

                            This ranting of yours achieves little except to portray yourself as a bitter cynic

                            Harden up and get over it
                            Certain sentences hold true. I have become like granite :D.

                            As for get over it, done! :up:I am living my life :D
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                              #74
                              AW: Re: Marriage fear

                              Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
                              For how long do you suggest knowing each other before marriage? Is a year to long?
                              Woah too long ! . If you do the right questions,I would say one afternoon is enough.

                              Originally posted by A500DaBest View Post
                              I think strong independent woman who truly don't need a man, well educated, well financially set is great. This will liberate the burden of the shoulder of a man for wanting him for money. Maybe, maybe this will filter out the gold diggers for the true companion. Maybe?

                              but society in general will always back up the woman and will give her a trillion excuses for her bad behavior or evil act and some how the fault goes shoulder back to a man. The true question in this scenario the man have to count hundred times if he wish to agree to this scenario or enjoy his freedom and independent. It is up to a man. Having children doesn't guarantee the children will love the father. It doesn't guarantee the mother will appraise the father to her children. It doesn't guarantee the children will even do dua to you when you die. It doesn't guarantee anything.

                              These all risk factors you need to put into an account. If you know for a fact you wish to go the route of marriage you need to understand you are a resource to be used. A commodity. You must accept this or else don't get married.

                              By the way, it is always the case...but when a divorce happens the mother will always poison the child against the father and the child will always back up the mother over the father. Cutting tie between child and father is the most common thing in the world now and least cared for or taken seriously. In fact, society will frown more over a friend cutting ties with another friend than with a child cutting ties with a dad. That is another thing a man have to accept when coming to marriage. Like my oldest brother said, "You are just renting your children."
                              With all the respect brother,you are very negative when it comes to marriage. I dont know why being a resource to be used is a bad thing,or why you dont accept it.We are as much of a resource to be used for our wives,as they are to us.Everything in this world is a resource to be used,this whole planet is a resource,your own body is a resource.

                              What you saying might be true when it comes to the marriages of the kuffar,but an Islamic marriage works completely different.Cmon,is it really a common thing in this ummah that a child cuts ties with his dad? I dont think so.It is not so gloomy out there as you have made it appear,you are even making me afraid of marriage reading your posts lol.

                              If marriage was really that risky,the prophet saws would have explained us in extreme details on what to do to avoid that risk,but he encourages us to even marry in young age,and to a religious spouse.Marry in an islamic way and with a religious one and you will never be disappointed in shaa Allah,no matter what the kuffar do.We live in two different realities in the same dunya

                              I dont know why so many people are making this topic so hard when it is really so easy.Its like thinking how bad it would be to fly over a river when the bridge is right there.
                              ULTIMA RATIO REGUM

                              Comment


                                #75
                                Re: AW: Re: Marriage fear

                                Originally posted by Aetos View Post
                                Woah too long ! . If you do the right questions,I would say one afternoon is enough.



                                With all the respect brother,you are very negative when it comes to marriage. I dont know why being a resource to be used is a bad thing,or why you dont accept it.We are as much of a resource to be used for our wives,as they are to us.Everything in this world is a resource to be used,this whole planet is a resource,your own body is a resource.

                                What you saying might be true when it comes to the marriages of the kuffar,but an Islamic marriage works completely different.Cmon,is it really a common thing in this ummah that a child cuts ties with his dad? I dont think so.It is not so gloomy out there as you have made it appear,you are even making me afraid of marriage reading your posts lol.

                                If marriage was really that risky,the prophet saws would have explained us in extreme details on what to do to avoid that risk,but he encourages us to even marry in young age,and to a religious spouse.Marry in an islamic way and with a religious one and you will never be disappointed in shaa Allah,no matter what the kuffar do.We live in two different realities in the same dunya

                                I dont know why so many people are making this topic so hard when it is really so easy.Its like thinking how bad it would be to fly over a river when the bridge is right there.
                                Marriage is easy but some of the points the brother [MENTION=143083]A500DaBest[/MENTION] stated are actually true. You should not doubt everyone, but u get paranoid when it keeps happening around you all the time.

                                Some women who got spoiled n' provided by a rich dad will never understand where the money comes from. She will only see the money, not the sweat behind it. She will think money is easy to get, and the first thing she want in a man would be money and comfort. For them, cash rains from the sky. The real definition of a gold digger. It's sickening but they exist in this ummah. I remember my own classmates obviously stating their gold digger side by saying that the man is not worth marrying if he can't pay for the wedding day. Which would cost more than I personally invested on myself my entire life. They have that "man should provide for me" rule implanted in their heads that they don't even give it a second thought before asking for something. You have a money consuming hobby like shopping and stuff? Then work and buy it yourself. If they never experienced how it feels to work to ashieve something, then money has no value to them. A real woman should not make it harder for her husband to provide for her.
                                Some even said they would divorce if the man lost his job. Doesn't matter if they worked and earned money, they would divorce cuz he is no good anymore. If they truly love their husbands and tried their all to stick together, then they should provide for him until he finds a job. That's what a real woman should do. Men are not money, they are humans with souls.

                                But you brothers shall not doubt every single women out there for being a cash eater or baby stealer. We simple ones exist. If a man came asking for my hand in a Ferrari just to flash his money then I would reject. Am I marrying the car or you? This bait aint gonna work on me mate.

                                The kuffar here in Sweden are incredibly independent. Both men and women work. They even share the bill and housework. Both parents takes turns staying at home for half a year each just to raise their kids, while the other parent works. They kid will never be without a parent. Idk how it is in other countries but it is a rule here. All for the sake of the kids. They need their parents so the goverment even made a rule on that. And if they separate, the man still has his right as a father to meet them.
                                Trying to change the kids thoughts about his father is bad and puts a huge burden on the kid. A real woman should know that. They need to woman up and stop using their childs as a weapon.

                                Some women are evil and want your money and kids. But us women who are independent and ready to fall asleep on a harsh floor do exist. Islamically the man should provide, but I will never burden him with my own hobbies n stuff.
                                Who even wants a wedding? That aint my thing at least. Killing me is better than wearing a wedding dress lol.

                                Don't think to much about marriage. Don't make it hard on yourself brothers n' sisters. Bad people exist, but good ones too. Just try to find the right one instead of rejecting everyone.

                                Cheers

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