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    #16
    Re: Mixing cultures and families

    Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
    For the brothers who ask sisters to live with his family:

    What might be your primary reason for asking a wife to live with your family instead of providing her a small place for yourselves together?

    How much does the lack of privacy an issue?

    Does living with in laws cause a strain on newly married couples?

    What do women get upset about and how have you/ would you solve(d) it?

    Generally what are the biggest issues regarding this style of living?
    Living with in laws has nothing to do with Islam or the sunnah. it is an imitation of mushrikeen like hindus and sikhs and part of their filthy culture.

    Did The Nabi sallahu alayhi wasalam live with his in laws? Did any of the sahaba live with their in laws?

    No,it was a completely unknown practice to them as the Sunnah and seerah show.

    The number of horror stories of sisters being abused by their in laws and even being murdered should show you the harm in this.

    Find yourself a real man and skip the Momma's boys and mushrik imitators.

    Comment


      #17
      Re: Mixing cultures and families

      :jkk:

      So it is usually cost or looking after elderly parents?

      So if a property could be afforded (by either the potential husband or wife or both) nearby or next door, then this might be a solution to both situations?

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Mixing cultures and families

        Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
        When brothers get married, I always advise them that the new wife will want to make the place her own, redecorate or at least will move all the furniture around. This is just usually in their nature, so moving into a house which is already established with a woman already there there is going to be a clash even with the best of people involved, it's a recipe for disaster when people fall short of this.

        Brothers, just don't do it. If your family is difficult and you know is going to cause problems for and the new wife and you cannot afford your own place then think again about marrying as in reality you cannot afford it and fulfill the rights of the wife at the same time.
        U say dont get married but for some people it might be the lesser of 2 evils
        Shaytaan could deviate your mind and lead to zina

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          #19
          Re: Mixing cultures and families

          Im just gonna try and find someone whos cool with not living me until i finish my studies and get a job so i can afford my own place ان شاء الله

          The brother in law is death
          Too many people forget that and it leads to devastating consequences sometimes

          Also living with inlaws leads to problems most of the time

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            #20
            Re: Mixing cultures and families

            Originally posted by aynina View Post
            Youre right, its like we have to make our own habitat or smt, makes us comfortable i guess
            In the end we will be home way more then the husband so i guess it would be nice if he let the wife choose the deco and furniture
            One of my friends, her husband comes home to the rooms being moved around almost every week.

            He asks if this is the correct house when he comes home

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Mixing cultures and families

              Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
              Living with in laws has nothing to do with Islam or the sunnah. it is an imitation of mushrikeen like hindus and sikhs and part of their filthy culture.

              Did The Nabi sallahu alayhi wasalam live with his in laws? Did any of the sahaba live with their in laws?

              No,it was a completely unknown practice to them as the Sunnah and seerah show.

              The number of horror stories of sisters being abused by their in laws and even being murdered should show you the harm in this.

              Find yourself a real man and skip the Momma's boys and mushrik imitators.
              It might not be an imitation of kuffar if there is a genuine reason such as poorly parents or trying to be frugal.

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Mixing cultures and families

                Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                One of my friends, her husband comes home to the rooms being moved around almost every week.

                He asks if this is the correct house when he comes home
                Lol cute
                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                  #23
                  Re: Mixing cultures and families

                  Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                  U say dont get married but for some people it might be the lesser of 2 evils
                  Shaytaan could deviate your mind and lead to zina
                  no, the solution is to fast and have sabr if you cannot afford to marry.
                  FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                  www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Mixing cultures and families

                    Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                    One of my friends, her husband comes home to the rooms being moved around almost every week.

                    He asks if this is the correct house when he comes home
                    My aunty always changing rooms around. Her husband said, that without putting lights on, he can't sit down or he may fall on the floor.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Mixing cultures and families

                      Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                      Living with in laws has nothing to do with Islam or the sunnah. it is an imitation of mushrikeen like hindus and sikhs and part of their filthy culture.

                      Did The Nabi sallahu alayhi wasalam live with his in laws? Did any of the sahaba live with their in laws?

                      No,it was a completely unknown practice to them as the Sunnah and seerah show.

                      The number of horror stories of sisters being abused by their in laws and even being murdered should show you the harm in this.

                      Find yourself a real man and skip the Momma's boys and mushrik imitators.
                      Dude, you really need to be careful about the things you say sometimes. Islam instructs us to look after the elderly. How exactly do you plan on doing that by not having them live with you?

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Mixing cultures and families

                        Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                        It might not be an imitation of kuffar if there is a genuine reason such as poorly parents or trying to be frugal.
                        A man's poorly parents is not actually a reason for the wife to be forced to forgo her rights. It is his responsibility to look after them, not her's and when brothers say this what they mean is they are going to force another dhulm upon their wives and force her to look after his parents whilst he goes out to work
                        FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                        www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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                          #27
                          Re: Mixing cultures and families

                          Originally posted by horizon View Post
                          Dude, you really need to be careful about the things you say sometimes. Islam instructs us to look after the elderly. How exactly do you plan on doing that by not having them live with you?
                          Next door, or a granny flat, or down the street. If things are really that severe they need 24/7 care then the man can move in with his parents, but what he cannot do is force his wife to move in with them too unless she agrees voluntarily.
                          FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                          www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Mixing cultures and families

                            :salams:

                            To any sisters considering this I would say DON'T DO IT

                            DON'T DO IT

                            And :scratch:


                            DON'T DO IT.





                            I can't say anything about brothers that are the only son with just their mum with them or just their dad. You don't want to upset your parents.

                            There is no place like home. In laws are a whole different story. Bottom line, no matter how nice they are, there will be issues with privacy, having some expectations, being observed, it just happens.


                            It's not nice but privacy is soooooo nice nice and a luxury lol

                            Brothers could consider an extension of some sort for their wife, a little kitchen and toilet.

                            The latter is SO important.

                            My fil was trying to get in, I was saying I AM IN THE BATHROOM. Obviously, this is a real problem if you're in laws are DEAF. Sign language will not help you

                            It doesn't feel like home.

                            All the best
                            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Mixing cultures and families

                              As for romance :rotfl:

                              What is that :1popcorn:

                              It's NON existent. If you wish you can take disney movies with you to keep a bit on the :wacko:
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Mixing cultures and families

                                Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                                :jkk:

                                So it is usually cost or looking after elderly parents?

                                So if a property could be afforded (by either the potential husband or wife or both) nearby or next door, then this might be a solution to both situations?
                                If the husbands parents own a big house (big enough that MIL and DIL have their own sections), then for the sake of saving enough money to purchase their own home, do you (logically) think that is a bad sacrifice for a few years?

                                The sister above gave the example of a couple who did this and subhanAllah they now own their own home.

                                Regardless of exactly where in the city/town the new couple will live, it is generally assumed that they will be a 2-minute drive away. If both the husband/wife are from the city, then they will be 2-minutes away from both their parents. However, if the parents are old/frail, then yes, living next door or in another section of the house will be ideal.

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