Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Girl I loved is getting married

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #16
    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    If shes getting married and its already fixed stop thinking about this and stop making duaa for it because its not right she will be someone elses wife

    If shes not going to marry him then you can propose but you cant just hint at her now its not allowed as when a brother is speaking to a sister for marriage another brother should not try to marry her theres a hadith for it i just cant remember it

    Also u need to try and learn to be confident, assertive and learn how to forget about the mental anxietys u had in the pass unless they mae you into a stronger person today
    I advice u see a muslim therapist in relation to this
    Jazak Allah.

    Forgive me I been so used to making dua for her for over 10 years.

    Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
    Not to add insult to injury but I feel like Allah had made it easier for you already since you know the family (you were at the wedding so I assume there is some knowledge of the family), and it's clear she stares at you (once It could be a mistake, more then once and it's no mistake). Allah also wills that you are able to get drunk, which is haram, but it is your doings that don't get you drunk. If Allah wills you could get married and you couldn't but how will you know if it's your will if you've never even tried?

    To perhaps encourage you, here's a story about a close high school friend of mine. She had a suitor come and it's clear he's not well off and he made it clear too. At first her dad said no but it was clear she was upset about it (the way she talked to me). Then her dad agreed and now they're married Alhamdulillah. She loves him a lot even though he's still unemployed (he's trying to find a job). Also he has no car. Obviously I don't see her much anymore but I still have her number and sometimes I visit her when her husband isn't there. Now mine you she comes from a family that's not well off so it's not like she's drastically changing her lifestyle but even if the girl you like is rich, sometimes women will drop everything for love so there's always hope.
    Jazak Allah.

    If shes my soul mate and marriages are arranged in heaven and celebrated on earth like they say than we will meet otherwise I will move on.

    I will rest in prayer.

    Peace.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

    Comment


      #17
      Re: Girl I loved is getting married

      Originally posted by Snippets View Post
      If you have feel so low that don’t consider yourself to be good enough to ask for her hand, most likely she has the same impression of you. It’s extremely unlikely that she will agree for your proposal with the mindset that you have .

      Wishing that her marriage does not last, is low, selfish and sick.
      Jazak Allah.

      Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
      Where does he say this?
      Leave it - Jazak Allah.
      Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Girl I loved is getting married

        Originally posted by Believer1984 View Post
        Jazak Allah.

        Forgive me I been so used to making dua for her for over 10 years.



        Jazak Allah.

        If shes my soul mate and marriages are arranged in heaven and celebrated on earth like they say than we will meet otherwise I will move on.

        I will rest in prayer.

        Peace.
        All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to try. You lose 100% of all the chances you don't take. Don't give yourself excuses though, I understand you have anxiety but step out of your comfort just for this one time! And forget about the finances right now because like I said, you don't know what she's willing to deal with especially since u never asked her!

        Worst case scenario she rejects, best case scenario she accepts, I know anxiety makes it much worse but it's not.

        Comment


          #19
          Re: Girl I loved is getting married

          Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
          All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to try. You lose 100% of all the chances you don't take. Don't give yourself excuses though, I understand you have anxiety but step out of your comfort just for this one time! And forget about the finances right now because like I said, you don't know what she's willing to deal with especially since u never asked her!

          Worst case scenario she rejects, best case scenario she accepts, I know anxiety makes it much worse but it's not.
          Its fajr time.

          I will take refuge and comfort in it and move forward and leave it to my lord if its meant to be HE will better me and inspire me in-time for it.

          Jazak Allah.
          Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

          Comment


            #20
            Re: Girl I loved is getting married

            Originally posted by Believer1984 View Post
            Jazak Allah.

            Forgive me I been so used to making dua for her for over 10 years.



            Jazak Allah.

            If shes my soul mate and marriages are arranged in heaven and celebrated on earth like they say than we will meet otherwise I will move on.

            I will rest in prayer.

            Peace.
            Theres nothing for me to forgive akhi

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Girl I loved is getting married

              Originally posted by Believer1984 View Post
              Its fajr time.

              I will take refuge and comfort in it and move forward and leave it to my lord if its meant to be HE will better me and inspire me in-time for it.

              Jazak Allah.
              Also dont worry about finances for a second
              If a girl is righteous and u really like her then ask her anyway people have told me of cases where brothers have gotten married whilst being unemployed

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                Originally posted by Believer1984 View Post
                I rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

                Salaam other than talking to Allah swt sharing my secrets , I am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because I am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

                I just have to let this out I can not keep it in no longer !

                There is this girl I met once upon a time, ( You could say I fell in love ) I really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know I do not have any money and I have mental anxiety I never did want to say anything because I am not worthy so I decided to remain silent.

                Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member I could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but I did not react even when I wish I could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

                I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

                Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

                I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support.

                Jazak Allah Ul Khair
                What's not destined for you, you won't get end of.

                Plus infatuation is a disease safeguard yourself from it.
                82. Verily, when He intends a thing, His Command is, "be", and it is! 83. So glory to Him in Whose hands is the dominion of all things: and to Him will you be all brought back. Quran surah 36: Ya-sin

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                  Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
                  Where does he say this?
                  Post #8

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                    Yes Allah knows what is best for us.
                    We know not what we are being saved from.
                    Make Dua if she is good for you than she must come you way and if not than someone better must come.

                    How many times have we seen a couple in love for so many years only to be divorced a few days/months/year after marriage.
                    This only Allah knows.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                      Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
                      She's not married yet, why don't you ask for her hand? What could you possibly lose at this point? Not trying will lead to a 100% in failure however, with trying, there is some percent in success.

                      She brought you cake? She stares at you? She wants you to make a move (in halal way of course)! Perhaps she's making the same Duaa as you however, all Duaa and no effort don't go hand in hand. I can make Duaa all day to get an A in a course but if I don't study, it most likely won't happen.

                      Of all the times you wanted to say something and couldn't, find courage to say your final words now because when she's married, you can't start making Duaa for her to get a divorce.

                      Make Duaa to get the courage, make Duaa she'll overlook your finances, and try because there's nothing to lose now. And if you are rejected there is confidence and resilience to gain. Often times we put our selves down so others don't have to but it inhibits us from so much.

                      May Allah ta'ala help your case.
                      AsSalaamu Alaikum.

                      https://islamqa.info/en/2450

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                        Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
                        She's not married yet, why don't you ask for her hand? What could you possibly lose at this point? Not trying will lead to a 100% in failure however, with trying, there is some percent in success.

                        She brought you cake? She stares at you? She wants you to make a move (in halal way of course)! Perhaps she's making the same Duaa as you however, all Duaa and no effort don't go hand in hand. I can make Duaa all day to get an A in a course but if I don't study, it most likely won't happen.

                        Of all the times you wanted to say something and couldn't, find courage to say your final words now because when she's married, you can't start making Duaa for her to get a divorce.

                        Make Duaa to get the courage, make Duaa she'll overlook your finances, and try because there's nothing to lose now. And if you are rejected there is confidence and resilience to gain. Often times we put our selves down so others don't have to but it inhibits us from so much.

                        May Allah ta'ala help your case.
                        Originally posted by Believer1984 View Post
                        Wish it was that easy ukhti, the years of mental anxiety have had a toll on me and I have nothing in terms of finances.

                        Id be too shameful to ask for her hand ... I do believe she must have gave up on me but as long as she worships Allah swt I am at ease.

                        If my lord wills it HE will unite us and if not than in her happiness is my happiness.

                        I just pray that this strange human way of life of being heartache n mental hurt leaves me because it will be too much.

                        Please remember me in your dua's.

                        Jazak Allah.
                        Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                        If shes getting married and its already fixed stop thinking about this and stop making duaa for it because its not right she will be someone elses wife

                        If shes not going to marry him then you can propose but you cant just hint at her now its not allowed as when a brother is speaking to a sister for marriage another brother should not try to marry her theres a hadith for it i just cant remember it

                        Also u need to try and learn to be confident, assertive and learn how to forget about the mental anxietys u had in the pass unless they mae you into a stronger person today
                        I advice u see a muslim therapist in relation to this
                        hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).
                        God has created Angels with reason but having no desires; animals with desires but no reason and man with both reason and desires. Therefore, if one’s reason is stronger than his desires, he is like an Angel,
                        while if his desires are stronger than his reason, he is like an animal.

                        - Ibn Al-Qayyim


                        وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                          Jazakum Allah, I didn't know this

                          Regardless, all the points I made are valid for another potential. You shouldn't let your anxiety or lack of finances define you. Define you meaning let them set boundaries that don't exist. There are women who may work with you to help the anxiety and there are women who bring rizk (good fortune) with them. Marriage is a beautiful Sunnah don't let shaytan convince you of giving up hope. You can't expect to get married if you don't actively seek it. You can't plant a seed in the ground and hope it will grow you need to water it and put it in light.

                          Let this scenario be a positive thing. For example like someone said, you may be prevented an evil you couldn't see (especially if you're in love, you'll disregard all red flags until it's too late). Also, let this be an incentive to be more proactive about seeking marriage and stopping shaytan from whispering doubt about yourself and your situation.

                          You aren't your mental disease, you're a soul that suffers with a disease and it'll only defeat you if you let it
                          Last edited by Sarah5; 30-10-17, 11:09 AM.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                            Originally posted by Believer1984 View Post
                            I rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

                            Salaam other than talking to Allah swt sharing my secrets , I am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because I am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

                            I just have to let this out I can not keep it in no longer !

                            There is this girl I met once upon a time, ( You could say I fell in love ) I really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know I do not have any money and I have mental anxiety I never did want to say anything because I am not worthy so I decided to remain silent.

                            Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member I could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but I did not react even when I wish I could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

                            I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

                            Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

                            I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support.

                            Jazak Allah Ul Khair
                            I say this with no malice and only with good intentions.

                            You've had 10 years to make your move bro and you never did. She has since found someone else.

                            If she has accepted that proposal, then she is likely happy with her choice and wishes to make her life with someone she found compatible.

                            It sounds like you are mostly feeling regret. Give it time and eventually you will forget her (or what you felt for her). There is a thread somewhere on UF that talks about getting over these situations.

                            Do not try to interfere (whether by reaching out to her or making baduaa against her current proposal).

                            Interfering may damage broader family-ties as well, so keep that in mind.

                            inshaAllah you will find a good spouse in the near future.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Girl I loved is getting married

                              You can’t get what you didn’t run for, if you tried your best to bag her then I understand but you could’ve tried. Your responses show her that you were disinterested..
                              إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Girl I loved is getting married

                                10 years is a long time SubhanAllah

                                Anyway bro, only what’s written for u will come your way. Besides, don’t you think Allahs is capable of replacing her with someone even better? Nothing is impossible with Allah! Instead making dua for Allah to unite u with her specifically, make it more general. Ask Allah for a righteous wife and you’ll see your dua being manifested bi’dhnillah.
                                رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X