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Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

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  • Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

    :salams

    I am sorry if this post seems weird and out of order but I am not happy talking about these stuff. It's just easier for me to write it online where no one knows me. I am a shy little fella. But anyways...

    There is a hadeeth saying that a woman shall not deny her husband his needs (aka intercourse). It's his rights when it comes to marriage. But we shall not forget that many people are different.

    Some men (they exist) does not need alot of intercourse like many thinks. And some women actually needs more than people can imagine. Sexually frustrated women exist, and it is not easy for them just cuz they are women.
    If this kind of man and woman clashes and marries, and the man cannot satisfy the womans needs when she wants to and she sleeps angry on him, will he sleep with the angels curse on him until he wakes up?
    Him denying her can cause fitnah and makes her do haram, which will destroy the family, the same that might happen if the man gets denied from his needs

    So is it allowed for the man to deny his woman her needs?

    ahh... this whole post is cringy but I need to know. If it's allowed for the man then I better not marry cuz I have severe trust issues. Someone taking my needs just cuz they can will make me furious, better for me to stay alone than harming my future spouse.
    I am a kind and loyal sister so don't think I am a monster. My trust issues is a long story. If I find someone I trust I am willing to sacrifice my all for them. But if that person brakes the trust then I shall not back off before crushing them. I am tired of that happening to me all the time that I no longer can control my anger

    Best Regards
    P1RAT3N

  • #2
    Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

    Your profile says you are a dude.
    Allah gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen more and talk less.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

      Originally posted by Plumeria View Post
      Your profile says you are a dude.
      cuz I made the mistake to check it. I am used to hide my identity on online services that I did the same thing here out of habit. I am not a dude, trust me

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

        They can work on solve my the issue, there are many many ways to get around it, if that’s the main issue.
        And

        If a woman is not satisfied she can seek divorce.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

          Originally posted by Snippets View Post
          They can work on solve my the issue, there are many many ways to get around it, if that’s the main issue.
          And

          If a woman is not satisfied she can seek divorce.
          Is that a good reason to seek divorce?

          And I ment it like, if the woman wants to have it and the man refuses just because he doesn't want it himself. He is not sick or anything, simply not wanting it right now. What's the ruling on that? Is there a hadith stating anything similar to the wifes needs regarding that topic?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

            Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
            Is that a good reason to seek divorce?

            And I ment it like, if the woman wants to have it and the man refuses just because he doesn't want it himself. He is not sick or anything, simply not wanting it right now. What's the ruling on that? Is there a hadith stating anything similar to the wifes needs regarding that topic?
            From what I have read, if any husband or wife, feel that certain issues in marriage can lead to sin, they can seek divorce.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

              Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
              Is that a good reason to seek divorce?

              And I ment it like, if the woman wants to have it and the man refuses just because he doesn't want it himself. He is not sick or anything, simply not wanting it right now. What's the ruling on that? Is there a hadith stating anything similar to the wifes needs regarding that topic?
              You need a qualified opinion from a Mufti. You are asking for a ruling ...

              You can try asking here: http://askimam.org

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                Duty is to husband and wife both to fulfill each others needs. Its not a must for women but obligatory for men. Both HAVE to fulfill the needs of their spouses otherwise the spouse is within their right to seek a divorce.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                  This whole my right my rights brigade is pathetic. If the man doesn't want to but the wife does then he can get creative with his hands. All the women and men who go around barking "fulfill my rights and only then I will fulfill mine" should never marry because they dont deserve to.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                    Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who stayed away from his wife for a month or two months and did not have intercourse with her; was there any sin on him or not? Could the husband be asked to do that?

                    He replied:

                    The husband is obliged to have intercourse with his wife on a reasonable basis, which is one of the most important rights that she has over him; it is more important than feeding her. It was said that what is obligatory with regard to intercourse is once every four months, or according to her need and his ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and his ability. And the latter is the more correct opinion.

                    Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa, 32/271
                    FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                    www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                      It is a bit difficult to discuss this topic without feeling a bit rude. I hope I do not offend if I say a woman who works together with my wife was granted divorce when her husband married a second wife, because the first wife had a physical need of him every day (she stated this in the shareeah council and he corroborated that it had always been the case) and the second wife would not grant him exception from staying away from the first wife during her time so it was concluded that he could not fulfill the first wife's needs and rights and keep her chaste while also giving the second wife her rights. The husband did everything he could to prevent it, but the first wife was granted divorce anyway.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                        Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
                        :salams

                        I am sorry if this post seems weird and out of order but I am not happy talking about these stuff. It's just easier for me to write it online where no one knows me. I am a shy little fella. But anyways...

                        There is a hadeeth saying that a woman shall not deny her husband his needs (aka intercourse). It's his rights when it comes to marriage. But we shall not forget that many people are different.

                        Some men (they exist) does not need alot of intercourse like many thinks. And some women actually needs more than people can imagine. Sexually frustrated women exist, and it is not easy for them just cuz they are women.
                        If this kind of man and woman clashes and marries, and the man cannot satisfy the womans needs when she wants to and she sleeps angry on him, will he sleep with the angels curse on him until he wakes up?
                        Him denying her can cause fitnah and makes her do haram, which will destroy the family, the same that might happen if the man gets denied from his needs

                        So is it allowed for the man to deny his woman her needs?

                        ahh... this whole post is cringy but I need to know. If it's allowed for the man then I better not marry cuz I have severe trust issues. Someone taking my needs just cuz they can will make me furious, better for me to stay alone than harming my future spouse.
                        I am a kind and loyal sister so don't think I am a monster. My trust issues is a long story. If I find someone I trust I am willing to sacrifice my all for them. But if that person brakes the trust then I shall not back off before crushing them. I am tired of that happening to me all the time that I no longer can control my anger

                        Best Regards
                        P1RAT3N
                        salaams to all

                        u got me confused
                        at first i thought u were going to say u have a high sex drive
                        then u go off at a tangent and talk of trust issues

                        my advice is to turn to Allah ta'ala
                        i hope u are regular with your daily salaah

                        insha allah u will get a husband thats perfect for you.

                        and Allah ta'ala knows best
                        jazakallah
                        Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                        very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                          Originally posted by P1RAT3N View Post
                          Is that a good reason to seek divorce?

                          And I ment it like, if the woman wants to have it and the man refuses just because he doesn't want it himself. He is not sick or anything, simply not wanting it right now. What's the ruling on that? Is there a hadith stating anything similar to the wifes needs regarding that topic?
                          Perhaps a close read of the following will help

                          https://islamqa.info/en/9021
                          Watch those eyes

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                            Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:

                            If a man stops having sexual intercourse with his wife for a month or two is he sinful for doing so?

                            He said: It is obligatory upon the husband to have sexual intercourse with his wife in accordance with that which is ma'ruuf. It is the most stressed upon right of the wife which he must fulfill. It is greater [in importance] than feeding her.

                            Sexual intercourse is waajib. It has been said that it is obligatory once every four months.

                            And it has been said that it is [obligatory] in accordance with her need and his ability. And this is the most correct of the two views. And Allaah knows best.

                            majmuu' fataawaa Ibn Taymiyyah
                            Volume 32 Page 271


                            Reference(s):


                            امتناع الزوج عن فراش زوجته ليس من حسن العشرة
                            Watch those eyes

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Is the man allowed to deny his wife her basicall needs?

                              Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
                              salaams to all

                              u got me confused
                              at first i thought u were going to say u have a high sex drive
                              then u go off at a tangent and talk of trust issues

                              my advice is to turn to Allah ta'ala
                              i hope u are regular with your daily salaah

                              insha allah u will get a husband thats perfect for you.

                              and Allah ta'ala knows best
                              jazakallah
                              Salam brother.

                              This post is confusing cuz I just can't say stuff exactly how they are. It's just to much for me, I am not used to this and can't even open this topic with anyone in real life. If I say anthing rude, just tell me so I won't cross the line when it comes to this. But I needed to know, that's why.
                              But you have right regarding your confusion when it comes to your first and second point.

                              I don't like my rights (on anything) to be taken away just because someone is allowed to do it. Being treated badly before by relatives and friends, makes my flip off as soon something similiar happens nowadays. Trusting someone (which you should do when marrying your future spouse) is a huge step for me to take cuz I've stopped trusting people nowadays. If this trust is broken then I won't be able to trust anyone anymore and he is in risk of being hurt by me, which I really fear to do.
                              I care about people and hope to once in my lifetime get someone to care about me.
                              To being robbed of what Islam made halal for us in a marriage will basically make me go ham.

                              Alhamdulillah I am regluar with my salah and will always be inshallah.
                              Thanks for taking your time and reading my post brother.

                              jazakallah kheyr

                              Comment

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