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2 things women should never ever compromise on

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  • 2 things women should never ever compromise on

    when it comes to marriage ....


    The most important qualities for which a woman should choose a man who proposes marriage are:

    1- A good character/ manners= Akhlaq
    2- Religious commitment. ( the other stuff are secondary, negotiable and left to your likings ..etc )

    - Being religious without having good manners doesn't work
    - Having good manner, but not committed to your religion doesn't work either.

    They go hand by hand, we can't separate them.

    So, If the potential has ONLY one of these qualities .. don't marry him; he should be rejected imo and Allah knows best
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

  • #2
    Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

    Disclaimer: married women whose husbands lack one of these 2 qualities .. should do their best to fix their situation.It's not an encouragement to divorce your husbands by any means. May Allah help you.


    This is a reminder and advice to women who are still single or about to marry .....
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

      Something for the men to take note then. The sons
      :jkk:

      Its also only fair that we could say the same for women.
      Allah Subḥānahu wa-taʿālā has mentioned in the Quran in chapter Surah Al-Ahzab:21 There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

        Originally posted by myeverything View Post
        when it comes to marriage ....


        The most important qualities for which a woman should choose a man who proposes marriage are:

        1- A good character/ manners= Akhlaq
        2- Religious commitment. ( the other stuff are secondary, negotiable and left to your likings ..etc )

        - Being religious without having good manners doesn't work
        - Having good manner, but not committed to your religion doesn't work either.

        They go hand by hand, we can't separate them.

        So, If the potential has ONLY one of these qualities .. don't marry him; he should be rejected imo and Allah knows best
        Jazakillahu khairan for sharing, sister. I agree. These two qualities will, for the most part, determine the success of the marriage. Some let other aspects come in the way and affect the decisions they make. Money? It's rizq from Allah, so it shouldn't be a priority. Looks? Looks change constantly, even the most good looking of people may age and change completely. Background? Being from the same background won't necessarily ensure you'll get along.
        Like you said, these two qualities must go hand in hand. If he knows his deen and is of good character he won't treat his wife unfairly; If he knows her rights upon him he'd make sure to provide her with everything she needs.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

          :jkk:
          I agreed with you. They go hand in hand.
          And rest will follow its natural course, In sha'Allah

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

            I agree, but honestly, you can never truly know someone's character until you live with them. Some people can put up a good front, and only show their true colours after marriage.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

              Originally posted by myeverything View Post
              when it comes to marriage ....


              The most important qualities for which a woman should choose a man who proposes marriage are:

              1- A good character/ manners= Akhlaq
              2- Religious commitment. ( the other stuff are secondary, negotiable and left to your likings ..etc )

              - Being religious without having good manners doesn't work
              - Having good manner, but not committed to your religion doesn't work either.

              They go hand by hand, we can't separate them.

              So, If the potential has ONLY one of these qualities .. don't marry him; he should be rejected imo and Allah knows best
              I had an interesting meeting last night. Not one I arranged or agreed to. A friends mother invited me for an evening meal (I had been before invited previously by my friend so nothing was unusual) and a friend of the family was also present.

              I kept myself out of the way as everyone was mingling a bit through the rooms and after the meal I was helping stack the dishwasher when the other two females disappeared and the man came in to get a glass of water.

              He sparked up a conversation about jobs and asked me a few questions about myself. After about half hour I felt I should ask him a little about himself out of politeness and one of the two questions I asked was about how practising he is. He said everything really well about praying 5 prayers, volunteering at a charity etc. and he was terrifically polite.

              He continued to talk for another 30 minutes and then asked me if there was anything else I wanted to know given I'd only asked two questions. So I said yes and asked what question he would like me to ask. He replied "I would like you to ask me about my business achievements" and was very disappointed when I didnt . I tried to explain that was the answer to my question rather than an invitation but he didn't like that and got really annoyed.

              Then I asked if I could hear the ringtone on his phone. At first he said no but then after I continued to stack the dishwasher, he played it to me, it was Kanye West, Fade.

              I had previously asked him if he listens to music and he said no, he also said he doesn't smoke but he does as he was outside having one when I left.



              Thing is sis, manners you can give a very good impression but it might not be the norm in your daily life and also saying all the right things religiously might not be the case either.
              Last edited by Rifqah; 13-10-17, 06:52 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

                Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                I had an interesting meeting last night. Not one I arranged or agreed to. A friends mother invited me for an evening meal (I had been before invited previously by my friend so nothing was unusual) and a friend of the family was also present.

                I kept myself out of the way as everyone was mingling a bit through the rooms and after the meal I was helping stack the dishwasher when the other two females disappeared and the man came in to get a glass of water.

                He sparked up a conversation about jobs and asked me a few questions about myself. After about half hour I felt I should ask him a little about himself out of politeness and one of the two questions I asked was about how practising he is. He said everything really well about praying 5 prayers, volunteering at a charity etc. and he was terrifically polite.

                He continued to talk for another 30 minutes and then asked me if there was anything else I wanted to know given I'd only asked two questions. So I said yes and asked what question he would like me to ask. He replied "I would like you to ask me about my business achievements" and was very disappointed when I didnt . I tried to explain that was the answer to my question rather than an invitation but he didn't like that and got really annoyed.

                Then I asked if I could hear the ringtone on his phone. At first he said no but then after I continued to stack the dishwasher, he played it to me, it was Kanye West, Fade.

                I had previously asked him if he listens to music and he said no, he also said he doesn't smoke but he does as he was outside having one when I left.



                Thing is sis, manners you can give a very good impression but it might not be the norm in your daily life and also saying all the right things religiously might not be the case either.
                Wait.. If he was religious, wouldn't he have had a sister with him or something to avoid khulwah(being alone with a non-mahram)?
                And I agree with you. Something similar happened to my cousin, only the guy was a little stupider.
                The thing about her is when she asks, sometimes it's like she's expecting affirmation. When she asked him if he drinks, he said, "Here? No. But when I go out of town I give it its(alcohol's) full due! ;)"

                If something ever does come up sister, make sure you ask the people around him(friends, cousins, local Imam) and not just his family who may feel compelled to sugarcoat his shortcomings.
                Last edited by _Sapphire; 13-10-17, 07:43 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

                  Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                  I had an interesting meeting last night. Not one I arranged or agreed to. A friends mother invited me for an evening meal (I had been before invited previously by my friend so nothing was unusual) and a friend of the family was also present.

                  I kept myself out of the way as everyone was mingling a bit through the rooms and after the meal I was helping stack the dishwasher when the other two females disappeared and the man came in to get a glass of water.

                  He sparked up a conversation about jobs and asked me a few questions about myself. After about half hour I felt I should ask him a little about himself out of politeness and one of the two questions I asked was about how practising he is. He said everything really well about praying 5 prayers, volunteering at a charity etc. and he was terrifically polite.

                  He continued to talk for another 30 minutes and then asked me if there was anything else I wanted to know given I'd only asked two questions. So I said yes and asked what question he would like me to ask. He replied "I would like you to ask me about my business achievements" and was very disappointed when I didnt . I tried to explain that was the answer to my question rather than an invitation but he didn't like that and got really annoyed.

                  Then I asked if I could hear the ringtone on his phone. At first he said no but then after I continued to stack the dishwasher, he played it to me, it was Kanye West, Fade.

                  I had previously asked him if he listens to music and he said no, he also said he doesn't smoke but he does as he was outside having one when I left.



                  Thing is sis, manners you can give a very good impression but it might not be the norm in your daily life and also saying all the right things religiously might not be the case either.
                  Lol that guy's a poser. Good riddance.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

                    Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                    I had an interesting meeting last night. Not one I arranged or agreed to. A friends mother invited me for an evening meal (I had been before invited previously by my friend so nothing was unusual) and a friend of the family was also present.

                    I kept myself out of the way as everyone was mingling a bit through the rooms and after the meal I was helping stack the dishwasher when the other two females disappeared and the man came in to get a glass of water.

                    He sparked up a conversation about jobs and asked me a few questions about myself. After about half hour I felt I should ask him a little about himself out of politeness and one of the two questions I asked was about how practising he is. He said everything really well about praying 5 prayers, volunteering at a charity etc. and he was terrifically polite.

                    He continued to talk for another 30 minutes and then asked me if there was anything else I wanted to know given I'd only asked two questions. So I said yes and asked what question he would like me to ask. He replied "I would like you to ask me about my business achievements" and was very disappointed when I didnt . I tried to explain that was the answer to my question rather than an invitation but he didn't like that and got really annoyed.

                    Then I asked if I could hear the ringtone on his phone. At first he said no but then after I continued to stack the dishwasher, he played it to me, it was Kanye West, Fade.

                    I had previously asked him if he listens to music and he said no, he also said he doesn't smoke but he does as he was outside having one when I left.



                    Thing is sis, manners you can give a very good impression but it might not be the norm in your daily life and also saying all the right things religiously might not be the case either.
                    My phone is always on silent and just vibrates. What's that mean?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

                      Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                      I had an interesting meeting last night. Not one I arranged or agreed to. A friends mother invited me for an evening meal (I had been before invited previously by my friend so nothing was unusual) and a friend of the family was also present.

                      I kept myself out of the way as everyone was mingling a bit through the rooms and after the meal I was helping stack the dishwasher when the other two females disappeared and the man came in to get a glass of water.

                      He sparked up a conversation about jobs and asked me a few questions about myself. After about half hour I felt I should ask him a little about himself out of politeness and one of the two questions I asked was about how practising he is. He said everything really well about praying 5 prayers, volunteering at a charity etc. and he was terrifically polite.

                      He continued to talk for another 30 minutes and then asked me if there was anything else I wanted to know given I'd only asked two questions. So I said yes and asked what question he would like me to ask. He replied "I would like you to ask me about my business achievements" and was very disappointed when I didnt . I tried to explain that was the answer to my question rather than an invitation but he didn't like that and got really annoyed.

                      Then I asked if I could hear the ringtone on his phone. At first he said no but then after I continued to stack the dishwasher, he played it to me, it was Kanye West, Fade.

                      I had previously asked him if he listens to music and he said no, he also said he doesn't smoke but he does as he was outside having one when I left.



                      Thing is sis, manners you can give a very good impression but it might not be the norm in your daily life and also saying all the right things religiously might not be the case either.
                      Wow bare faced liar...i guess we are very good at deluding ourselves how great we are..BTW I guess you also listen to music if you recognised the ringtone song?
                      Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the worlds ending!

                      None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

                        La hawla wa la quwwata illah billah

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: 2 things women should never ever compromise on

                          Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                          I had an interesting meeting last night. Not one I arranged or agreed to. A friends mother invited me for an evening meal (I had been before invited previously by my friend so nothing was unusual) and a friend of the family was also present.

                          I kept myself out of the way as everyone was mingling a bit through the rooms and after the meal I was helping stack the dishwasher when the other two females disappeared and the man came in to get a glass of water.

                          He sparked up a conversation about jobs and asked me a few questions about myself. After about half hour I felt I should ask him a little about himself out of politeness and one of the two questions I asked was about how practising he is. He said everything really well about praying 5 prayers, volunteering at a charity etc. and he was terrifically polite.

                          He continued to talk for another 30 minutes and then asked me if there was anything else I wanted to know given I'd only asked two questions. So I said yes and asked what question he would like me to ask. He replied "I would like you to ask me about my business achievements" and was very disappointed when I didnt . I tried to explain that was the answer to my question rather than an invitation but he didn't like that and got really annoyed.

                          Then I asked if I could hear the ringtone on his phone. At first he said no but then after I continued to stack the dishwasher, he played it to me, it was Kanye West, Fade.

                          I had previously asked him if he listens to music and he said no, he also said he doesn't smoke but he does as he was outside having one when I left.



                          Thing is sis, manners you can give a very good impression but it might not be the norm in your daily life and also saying all the right things religiously might not be the case either.
                          Was this planned?

                          If so, it seems like a highly inappropriate thing to do to a guest. Let alone leaving a woman alone with a man, it would feel like a betrayal (to some women) that a friend put them in this position.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            ................
                            Last edited by myeverything; 06-12-17, 06:13 PM.
                            How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ...............
                              Last edited by myeverything; 06-12-17, 06:14 PM.
                              How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

                              Comment

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