Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Meeting a potential as a revert

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Meeting a potential as a revert

    :salams

    How does a revert woman meet a potential? Her house is out of the question because her parents are non muslim, and the local mosque is not of any help either.

    Can she meet this person in a public place alone or whats the right way to go about it?
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  • #2
    Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

    Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullah Wa barakatuh

    No. She cannot meet a potential in a public place alone. A revert sis who is looking to get married should have a wali in place & he would arrange the meeting, where he would also be present.

    Don't be fooled by brothers wanting to meet you in a public place alone if they don't see this as wrong then they got issues
    https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

      Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
      Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullah Wa barakatuh

      No. She cannot meet a potential in a public place alone. A revert sis who is looking to get married should have a wali in place & he would arrange the meeting, where he would also be present.

      Don't be fooled by brothers wanting to meet you in a public place alone if they don't see this as wrong then they got issues
      I guess me personally i would feel bad for burdening some random wali thats not even a mahram to me with my personal problems, i mean this person doesn't have any obligations towards me anyway..

      I might ask my parents to do it at home though but I'm just scared they would be hostile towards the guy
      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

        Originally posted by aynina View Post
        :salams

        How does a revert woman meet a potential? Her house is out of the question because her parents are non muslim, and the local mosque is not of any help either.

        Can she meet this person in a public place alone or whats the right way to go about it?
        Meet outside your home and take your father with you, if possible. A neutral place is maybe better for all parties.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

          Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
          Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullah Wa barakatuh

          No. She cannot meet a potential in a public place alone. A revert sis who is looking to get married should have a wali in place & he would arrange the meeting, where he would also be present.

          Don't be fooled by brothers wanting to meet you in a public place alone if they don't see this as wrong then they got issues
          It must be really hard to find a trustworthy brother who can be a good wali.

          Best bet would be an imam with a good reputation.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

            Originally posted by The real Mo View Post
            Meet outside your home and take your father with you, if possible. A neutral place is maybe better for all parties.
            He wouldnt come along with me for that, he would probably mock me for asking
            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

              Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
              It must be really hard to find a trustworthy brother who can be a good wali.

              Best bet would be an imam with a good reputation.
              Yea definitely, can't get any random man to be a wali. Imams and figures well respected in the community are a good idea. Although these days, you need to be careful even with those respected in the community, allahul mustaa'aan.
              Last edited by Layla_; 07-10-17, 09:12 PM.
              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                Originally posted by aynina View Post
                I guess me personally i would feel bad for burdening some random wali thats not even a mahram to me with my personal problems, i mean this person doesn't have any obligations towards me anyway..

                I might ask my parents to do it at home though but I'm just scared they would be hostile towards the guy
                My mum has been hostile towards prospectives before so I get what you mean. Once she was really, really bad to a brother, I'm surprised he didn't run a mile. A good brother wouldn't see it as a burden but it's just finding the good brother to take on the role as the wali in the first place which is a huge task within itself.
                https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                  Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
                  My mum has been hostile towards prospectives before so I get what you mean. Once she was really, really bad to a brother, I'm surprised he didn't run a mile. A good brother wouldn't see it as a burden but it's just finding the good brother to take on the role as the wali in the first place which is a huge task within itself.
                  Yea subhanAllah..
                  يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                  O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                  Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                    :wswrwb:
                    What about, your ukhti's husband. Can he act as a Wali? :)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                      Originally posted by uccello verde View Post
                      :wswrwb:
                      What about, your ukhti's husband. Can he act as a Wali? :)
                      I dont have a sister and a brother in law wouldnt be a mahram either actually
                      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                        Originally posted by aynina View Post
                        :salams

                        How does a revert woman meet a potential? Her house is out of the question because her parents are non muslim, and the local mosque is not of any help either.

                        Can she meet this person in a public place alone or whats the right way to go about it?
                        :wswrwb:

                        There should be a neutral area within the Masjid facility that you can meet with the brother, with the wali present (which according to my research, becomes the local Imaam/Aalim - or someone in that standing that you trust to have your best interests).

                        Concerning the wali, preferably try to find an older Imaam who can be seen more like a father-figure. Imaams are Insaan/people too, and if he is young/unmarried (both dangerous on their own, but highly dangerous combined), he may mistake his position (as another sister on this forum indicated, where the wali eventually revealed that he wanted to marry her LOL).

                        Meeting bros within the Masjid vicinity (if one exists) is also better than any public area.

                        Also, as a revert, I'd advise you to do the regular pre-filters that born-Muslims do. Just because you reverted to Islam, doesn't mean you have to marry any dude that approaches you (whether he is a bum or otherwise).

                        YOU HAVE RIGHTS <- don't forget that.

                        InshaAllah you will find a good companion.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                          Originally posted by aynina View Post
                          I dont have a sister and a brother in law wouldnt be a mahram either actually
                          I meant sister in Islam, your practising friend, who is married..lol

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                            Originally posted by aynina View Post
                            He wouldnt come along with me for that, he would probably mock me for asking
                            That is your fear. You have not asked him yet. It seems like you have not talked about the marriage issue at all with your parents.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Meeting a potential as a revert

                              Originally posted by horizon View Post
                              :wswrwb:

                              There should be a neutral area within the Masjid facility that you can meet with the brother, with the wali present (which according to my research, becomes the local Imaam/Aalim - or someone in that standing that you trust to have your best interests).

                              Concerning the wali, preferably try to find an older Imaam who can be seen more like a father-figure. Imaams are Insaan/people too, and if he is young/unmarried (both dangerous on their own, but highly dangerous combined), he may mistake his position (as another sister on this forum indicated, where the wali eventually revealed that he wanted to marry her LOL).

                              Meeting bros within the Masjid vicinity (if one exists) is also better than any public area.

                              Also, as a revert, I'd advise you to do the regular pre-filters that born-Muslims do. Just because you reverted to Islam, doesn't mean you have to marry any dude that approaches you (whether he is a bum or otherwise).

                              YOU HAVE RIGHTS <- don't forget that.

                              InshaAllah you will find a good companion.
                              Well, as mentioned in OP
                              The masjid is no option, there is no area where brothers and sisters mix, which is good, the imam doesnt speak dutch or french or english and thats it
                              يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                              O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                              Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X