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How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

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  • How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

    Do you tell them the truth? Or do you make up excuses so to not hurt their feelings?

    The reason I asked is because I've been rejected a couple of times and although they gave specific reasons (not related to my appearance) I always felt like they're lying and the real reason is that they didn't find me attractive.

    I don't know if that is just my insecurity or it is in fact the truth.

  • #2
    Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

    I would probably say,
    Sorry sister dont think we are compatible.

    I am always a firm believer that photos need to be exchanged first ,conversations come later

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    • #3
      Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

      Don't take rejections personally. Most people are diplomatic about it but ive heard stuff like he is too short, too bald or she is too dark etc. Even the messenger of Allah (SAWS) was rejected for marriage.

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      • #4
        Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

        I've got one of those faces where you will just know. It's difficult to control.

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        • #5
          Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

          Rejecion doesn’t means you aren’t good enough or attractive, it means other person failed to notice how attractive you are & what you have to offer.
          [MENTION]Sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.[/MENTION]

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          • #6
            Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

            Some variation of "I don't believe we are compatible"

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            • #7
              How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

              [MENTION=145329]PrinceOfArabia[/MENTION]

              I disagree akhi.

              Everyone may have some good qualities

              But not everyone is attractive or has great stuff to offer

              These types of statements where everyone is considered special and beautiful and amazing is what has created this so called snowflake generation!

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              • #8
                Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
                Do you tell them the truth? Or do you make up excuses so to not hurt their feelings?

                The reason I asked is because I've been rejected a couple of times and although they gave specific reasons (not related to my appearance) I always felt like they're lying and the real reason is that they didn't find me attractive.

                I don't know if that is just my insecurity or it is in fact the truth.
                salaams to all

                its obvious that when it comes to appearance/looks, its a VERY sensitive subject
                so hardly anyone will tell u directly that this is the reason for rejecting you..

                they are only trying to be be diplomatic by saying something else

                and since we havent seen you, we cant say for sure that your appearance is the reason
                but generally, if youre fat, very dark or ugly, u will have a hard time finding a decent spouse.

                irrespective of how pious u are
                or how good your akhlaaq/character is
                or how much taqwa u have
                only thing that can help is MONEY- if you are VERY rich, u will find many are prepared to overlook your appearance

                i may sound rude/insensitive but this is the harsh reality


                and Allah ta'ala knows best
                jazakallah
                Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

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                • #9
                  Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                  Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
                  salaams to all

                  its obvious that when it comes to appearance/looks, its a VERY sensitive subject
                  so hardly anyone will tell u directly that this is the reason for rejecting you..

                  they are only trying to be be diplomatic by saying something else

                  and since we havent seen you, we cant say for sure that your appearance is the reason
                  but generally, if youre fat, very dark or ugly, u will have a hard time finding a decent spouse.

                  irrespective of how pious u are
                  or how good your akhlaaq/character is
                  or how much taqwa u have
                  only thing that can help is MONEY- if you are VERY rich, u will find many are prepared to overlook your appearance

                  i may sound rude/insensitive but this is the harsh reality


                  and Allah ta'ala knows best
                  jazakallah
                  Ok I understand being fat or ugly but why would being very dark make you have a hard time finding a spouse. I know there is jahilliyah regarding this with some people but is it really that widespread?

                  Seems such a petty and shallow reason to reject someone
                  “Allah gave you a gift of 86,000 seconds today, have you used one to say ‘Alhamdulilah

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                  • #10
                    Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                    Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
                    salaams to all

                    its obvious that when it comes to appearance/looks, its a VERY sensitive subject
                    so hardly anyone will tell u directly that this is the reason for rejecting you..

                    they are only trying to be be diplomatic by saying something else

                    and since we havent seen you, we cant say for sure that your appearance is the reason
                    but generally, if youre fat, very dark or ugly, u will have a hard time finding a decent spouse.

                    irrespective of how pious u are
                    or how good your akhlaaq/character is
                    or how much taqwa u have
                    only thing that can help is MONEY- if you are VERY rich, u will find many are prepared to overlook your appearance

                    i may sound rude/insensitive but this is the harsh reality


                    and Allah ta'ala knows best
                    jazakallah

                    The gals that goes for your money should not be married. This is a very bad way of thinking. You will marry the person, not the money.
                    It might be reality but make sure akhi not to help other brothers based on prejudices. Money is not the only thing that will make you find a spouse.

                    Here, you have a sister that does not care about how much money you got. When you speak like every gal out there is blinded by money, then us good ones feel bad. It makes us feel that whatever we do, the men will always view us the same.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                      Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
                      Do you tell them the truth? Or do you make up excuses so to not hurt their feelings?

                      The reason I asked is because I've been rejected a couple of times and although they gave specific reasons (not related to my appearance) I always felt like they're lying and the real reason is that they didn't find me attractive.

                      I don't know if that is just my insecurity or it is in fact the truth.
                      Most people won’t say that it is because of looks.
                      Perhaps ask the middle people, if you want to be certain.
                      Other clue could be the timing, was it after meeting you etc.

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                      • #12
                        Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                        Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
                        I would probably say,
                        Sorry sister dont think we are compatible.

                        I am always a firm believer that photos need to be exchanged first ,conversations come later


                        This.
                        They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                        • #13
                          Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                          Salaam

                          Don't see other people's failure to commit as your failure. Maybe Allah has another plan for you, a better one!

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                          • #14
                            Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                            I could never tell someone i rejected them because of their looks.
                            They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                            • #15
                              Re: How do you reject a potential whom you don't find attractive?

                              Tell him 'sorry, I have decided we will not be compatible'
                              It's pretty obvious when you say that after seeing the photo so he will know the reason and there is no need to go to extra lengths to give an explanation as he is a stranger.

                              Keep it neutral and wish him best.

                              Next please :zzz:
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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