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Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

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  • #31
    Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

    Originally posted by Loki. View Post
    No guy will 'act' shy. It's looked down upon for a guy to be shy even though it's sunnah (I think). The only guys I know who haven't fornicated are *drum roll* shy guys......

    If you're not shy behind closed doors then your not shy, just a fake.
    Either way, you can't tell unless you catch them red handed

    It really depends on how you define shyness for a man
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    • #32
      Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

      Originally posted by uccello verde View Post
      "My Abdullah is little gentleman." I would get outsider option, maybe he is, maybe not....
      I have never ever met a mil who has said anything bad about her son
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

        Originally posted by Loki. View Post
        No guy will 'act' shy. It's looked down upon for a guy to be shy even though it's sunnah (I think). The only guys I know who haven't fornicated are *drum roll* shy guys......

        If you're not shy behind closed doors then your not shy, just a fake.
        Say what now?

        Havent you ever come across a guy willing to do and say things that he knows a girl would want to see or hear?

        Trust me bro, it happens.
        They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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        • #34
          Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
          I have never ever met a mil who has said anything bad about her son
          But, they didn't do good "sell speech" for you...

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          • #35
            Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
            He is probably not used to talking to women which is a BONUS
            Thanks everyone for your responses. However, this guy doesn't talk to women like that - it's just not natural for him. He comes from a very religious household and it mainly has to do with his upbringing.
            His mother seemed genuine to me. Believe me I can tell the difference from what's shady and what's not shady. As for the job thing - He lives alone and has stable income.
            Naturally, I may have had doubts about this earlier, because of the mother approaching me and stuff but not so much anymore. I've seen his photos, he has the reserved look about him lol ma sha Allah though in sha Allah khair.

            As for the compatibility thing - his mother asked him the questions and he gave her the answers. A mother knows her child doesn't she not? btw she wasn't bigging him up or anything of the sort.
            In sha Allah my parents and I are looking forward to it and so are they. Alhamdulilah right now subhanallah I have nothing but positive thoughts about this whole situation. I've left it up to Allah to decide what happens next. In sha Allah I shall approach this as something new and i'm open to see where it leads. khair khair khair!
            Last edited by FleetingSakura; 02-10-17, 11:53 PM.

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            • #36
              Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

              Do you know his name sister?

              Get the mums to talk to each other by telephone first or get the shy guy to speak to your dad at least?

              Be cautious
              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                muslims shouldnt be speaking to each other on these marriage sites without a mehram anyway so the guys doing a good thing this prevents fitna

                Also being shy is normally a good thing
                Doesnt mean hes shady
                Expect good in a muslim until u seen bad
                And regarding marriage do ur crb check

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                • #38
                  Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                  Originally posted by FleetingSakura View Post
                  Thanks everyone for your responses. However, this guy doesn't talk to women like that - it's just not natural for him. He comes from a very religious household and it mainly has to do with his upbringing.
                  His mother seemed genuine to me. Believe me I can tell the difference from what's shady and what's not shady. As for the job thing - He lives alone and has stable income.
                  Naturally, I may have had doubts about this earlier, because of the mother approaching me and stuff but not so much anymore. I've seen his photos, he has the reserved look about him lol ma sha Allah though in sha Allah khair.

                  As for the compatibility thing - his mother asked him the questions and he gave her the answers. A mother knows her child doesn't she not? btw she wasn't bigging him up or anything of the sort.
                  In sha Allah my parents and I are looking forward to it and so are they. Alhamdulilah right now subhanallah I have nothing but positive thoughts about this whole situation. I've left it up to Allah to decide what happens next. In sha Allah I shall approach this as something new and i'm open to see where it leads. khair khair khair!
                  Pray Istikharah.
                  Make duas abundantly.
                  Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT is Best of Planners.
                  In sha'Allah everything is khair.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                    i met my wife on a matrimonial site. my first contact was with her mom since she created the profile for her daughter. i talked to my wifes mom initially for a few days. she then discussed me with her husband and my wife. when they both said ok, she allowed me to talk to her...even when i talked to any girl, i made sure to ask if her parents were aware that she has a wedding profile so i know shes serious and doesnt hide stuff or doing anything wrong...

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                    • #40
                      Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                      Originally posted by FleetingSakura View Post
                      Thanks everyone for your responses. However, this guy doesn't talk to women like that - it's just not natural for him. He comes from a very religious household and it mainly has to do with his upbringing.
                      His mother seemed genuine to me. Believe me I can tell the difference from what's shady and what's not shady. As for the job thing - He lives alone and has stable income.
                      Naturally, I may have had doubts about this earlier, because of the mother approaching me and stuff but not so much anymore. I've seen his photos, he has the reserved look about him lol ma sha Allah though in sha Allah khair.

                      As for the compatibility thing - his mother asked him the questions and he gave her the answers. A mother knows her child doesn't she not? btw she wasn't bigging him up or anything of the sort.
                      In sha Allah my parents and I are looking forward to it and so are they. Alhamdulilah right now subhanallah I have nothing but positive thoughts about this whole situation. I've left it up to Allah to decide what happens next. In sha Allah I shall approach this as something new and i'm open to see where it leads. khair khair khair!
                      I don’t want to say it’s normal for his mom to contact you, but it’s not abnormal, either. Some people prefer it that way, whether it’s being shy or having a parent who wants to be involved. I do think it’s a good idea, as mentioned, to at least get a name and do some research. Other than that, let your parents meet up and see what happens.

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                      • #41
                        Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                        Not feeling the name.
                        Answering questions through mother.
                        Something is odd here.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                          Maybe mum knows he is shy and want to help?
                          At some stage one must asceratin whether the mother is running his life or just helping out. If the former than be careful.

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                          • #43
                            Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                            sounds dodgy, you don't even know their names, how are you meeting someone whose name you don't know
                            and the fact that his mother is running his affairs and acting like his 'wali' says a lot, that has nothing to do with being shy, sounds more like a problem with his character, a major problem.
                            He can't lead his own way through the marriage process, how is he going to lead a family.
                            شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                            فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                            وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                            ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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                            • #44
                              Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                              Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                              sounds dodgy, you don't even know their names, how are you meeting someone whose name you don't know
                              and the fact that his mother is running his affairs and acting like his 'wali' says a lot, that has nothing to do with being shy, sounds more like a problem with his character, a major problem.
                              He can't lead his own way through the marriage process, how is he going to lead a family.
                              Agree with above... And secondly if he was a perfect & good character balanced, his mother defnately would have hooked him with someone within her family. Please do a thorough background check, before you conclude.
                              [MENTION]Sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. We do not need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.[/MENTION]

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                              • #45
                                Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                                Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                                Dude needs to grow a pair.

                                If he's shy about something like this, maybe he's not ready to get married.

                                Thats just my take on it. Could be wrong/
                                Just because he doesn't want to talk to her online doesn't mean he isn't ready. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to lots of women online, because it may take a while to find someone. I actually find it better that they're two women speaking to each other because they may talk more freely and ask questions. Being behind a screen doesn't mean you lose your haya.

                                Just sayin :D

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