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Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

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  • #16
    Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    :scratch:

    Further research must be done
    Yes, I would want to know, how close he is to his mother?
    Is she coming to live same house?

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

      Originally posted by FleetingSakura View Post
      so one day on a matrimonial site, a woman randomly messaged me on her son's behalf. She made a whole profile for her son. I hesitated for a while because I've never communicated this way before nor do I prefer it. So I took a leap of fate and discovered her son and I are both practicing muslims. Long story short, we've messaged back and forth. Apparently her son and I are compatible with each other, we've exchanged photos and what not. We come from the same hometown, similar upbringing, etc. Now I'm starting to have doubts because I'm used to communicating with my prospects directly. His mother's excuse is that he prefers his mother to find him a spouse and to talk on his behalf instead - apparently he's shy lol and I've never dealt with a shy man before. she doesn't quote what he says directly. I haven't spoken to him directly before. Our parents, me and him are supposed to meet up soon. Why do I feel so awkward about this?!!! Not going to lie, he is a looker but is this way even normal? They know my name but I don't know there's. Oh deary me!

      I can't find any articles or threads related to my situation hence why I posted this here!
      RED FLAG!

      If they are from the same hometown, then DO NOT MEET until someone from your family can speak to someone from the hometown to vouch for them.

      How did you give your name without getting their name/surname? That's a bit naive.

      You must always be careful about these situations, as nothing is as apparent as it may seem in the online world (and the real world too).

      ALWAYS do your checks and balances before taking things to the level of meeting in person. Verify, verify, VERIFY!

      Side-note: you and the son may not be compatible at all. You have been speaking to the mother only, so you and her are compatible. As for MIL/DIL relationship, that's a win, but do not assume that what the mother says is how the son is.

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
        He is probably not used to talking to women which is a BONUS

        As long as he knows how to communicate in general
        Nah, I don't buy it. Speaking from experience, well not me, but someone I know, guys that act all shy are the most shadiest guys you'll ever meet. No doubt, there are genuine cases, but some of these, just trust me, you need to watch out for them. When they're alone with the girl, they suddenly get so confident doing things they shouldn't.


        Anyway, you're talking to another human being about marriage, you're not talking to an alien, just get straight to the point, nothing hard about that.

        Moreover, it's online, I'd be a bit more understanding if it was face to face, but it's online.
        They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

          Missed that part about the name

          Well done horizon

          You need the potential name, don't forget the internet check

          Some of them forget to deactivate their account temporarily

          Dodgy :wacko:

          Lmso
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post


            Knew someone would point that out

            I am British and proud thank u very much. My grandparents are Bangladeshi, but I am from the land of great spuds. :mujahida:


            Are you still single?
            is this a proposal? gosh you british women are so forward
            Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

            None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

              Originally posted by ibzy View Post
              Nah, I don't buy it. Speaking from experience, well not me, but someone I know, guys that act all shy are the most shadiest guys you'll ever meet. No doubt, there are genuine cases, but some of these, just trust me, you need to watch out for them. When they're alone with the girl, they suddenly get so confident doing things they shouldn't.


              Anyway, you're talking to another human being about marriage, you're not talking to an alien, just get straight to the point, nothing hard about that.

              Moreover, it's online, I'd be a bit more understanding if it was face to face, but it's online.
              Very good point
              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                Very good point
                wohooo!
                They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                  Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                  Nah, I don't buy it. Speaking from experience, well not me, but someone I know, guys that act all shy are the most shadiest guys you'll ever meet. No doubt, there are genuine cases, but some of these, just trust me, you need to watch out for them. When they're alone with the girl, they suddenly get so confident doing things they shouldn't.


                  Anyway, you're talking to another human being about marriage, you're not talking to an alien, just get straight to the point, nothing hard about that.

                  Moreover, it's online, I'd be a bit more understanding if it was face to face, but it's online.
                  What? No mate, most cases are genuine. Who would pretend to be shy? Can you not tell a natural shy person in comparison to someone who's just quiet? Every shy guy I know keeps it lowkey and wants little or nothing to do with anyone else.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                    Originally posted by uccello verde View Post
                    Yes, I would want to know, how close he is to his mother?
                    Is she coming to live same house?
                    Yes

                    Every mum will say good things about her son when looking for a dil
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                      Very good point
                      Both deluded.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                        Originally posted by Loki. View Post
                        What? No mate, most cases are genuine. Who would pretend to be shy? Can you not tell a natural shy person in comparison to someone who's just quiet? Every shy guy I know keeps it lowkey and wants little or nothing to do with anyone else.
                        It's 50/50

                        Like everything in life

                        Some seem shy but behind closed doors they are :wacko:
                        Dirty little secrets going on, especially with social media because they can pretend or hook up with anyone

                        Divorces happen due to this

                        It's true
                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                          Originally posted by Loki. View Post
                          What? No mate, most cases are genuine. Who would pretend to be shy? Can you not tell a natural shy person in comparison to someone who's just quiet? Every shy guy I know keeps it lowkey and wants little or nothing to do with anyone else.
                          Like I said, there are genuine cases of people guys being shy, but, and i say this based on people I've spoken to, some of these shy guys, when alone with a potential (Even though they shouldn't) show another side.

                          Putting that to one side, in teh OP's case, I can't understand why the guy is shy. He's not speaking to her face to face, its online messaging. As a man, he should take charge of this marriage thing, who on their right mind sends their mother to contact the girl online. It should be the girl sending her dad or brother to contact the guy.

                          Anyway, that's just my opinion.
                          They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            It's 50/50

                            Like everything in life

                            Some seem shy but behind closed doors they are :wacko:
                            Dirty little secrets going on, especially with social media because they can pretend or hook up with anyone

                            Divorces happen due to this

                            It's true
                            No guy will 'act' shy. It's looked down upon for a guy to be shy even though it's sunnah (I think). The only guys I know who haven't fornicated are *drum roll* shy guys......

                            If you're not shy behind closed doors then your not shy, just a fake.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                              Yes

                              Every mum will say good things about her son when looking for a dil
                              "My Abdullah is little gentleman." I would get outsider option, maybe he is, maybe not....

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                                Above all, it is NOT normal if you don't even know his name but he has yours

                                Lol

                                That is a bad move, sister, how did you even pursue it this far when you don't have his name?
                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

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