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Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

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  • Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

    so one day on a matrimonial site, a woman randomly messaged me on her son's behalf. She made a whole profile for her son. I hesitated for a while because I've never communicated this way before nor do I prefer it. So I took a leap of fate and discovered her son and I are both practicing muslims. Long story short, we've messaged back and forth. Apparently her son and I are compatible with each other, we've exchanged photos and what not. We come from the same hometown, similar upbringing, etc. Now I'm starting to have doubts because I'm used to communicating with my prospects directly. His mother's excuse is that he prefers his mother to find him a spouse and to talk on his behalf instead - apparently he's shy lol and I've never dealt with a shy man before. she doesn't quote what he says directly. I haven't spoken to him directly before. Our parents, me and him are supposed to meet up soon. Why do I feel so awkward about this?!!! Not going to lie, he is a looker but is this way even normal? They know my name but I don't know there's. Oh deary me!

    I can't find any articles or threads related to my situation hence why I posted this here!
    Last edited by FleetingSakura; 02-10-17, 09:16 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

    Originally posted by FleetingSakura View Post
    so one day on a matrimonial site, a woman randomly messaged me on her son's behalf. She made a whole profile for her son. I hesitated for a while because I've never communicated this way before nor do I prefer it. So I took a leap of fate and discovered her son and I are both practicing muslims. Long story short, we've messaged back and forth. Apparently her son and I are compatible with each other, we've exchanged photos and what not. We come from the same hometown, similar upbringing, etc. Now I'm starting to have doubts because I'm used to communicating with my prospects directly. His mother's excuse is that he prefers his mother to find him a spouse and to talk on his behalf instead - he's shy loool. she doesn't quote what he says directly. I haven't spoken to him directly before. Our parents, me and him are supposed to meet up soon. Why do I feel so awkward about this?!!! Not going to lie, he is a looker but is this way even normal? They know my name but I don't know there's. Oh deary me!
    Look on a matrimony website, I've had a dad speak for his daughter at least initially. I will admit I don't mind my messages being read by a mahram but it certainly is off putting to talk to a parent on a dating website. I'll say give him a chance I guess. Truth be told if the mom is looking online she might be a little bit desperate. Personally if I asked my mom and she created my a profile I'd be like lol (I'd expect her to talk to her friends). If there really is that much compatibility meet up with that family in person and talk to him. See how it goes. You really haven't gotten much to lose. Good luck.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

      You say he's handsome and practicing. Just go for it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
        You say he's handsome and practicing. Just go for it.
        I should've said this instead. This post is the definition of humble bragging. Go for it sister.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

          Originally posted by s86ahmed View Post
          Look on a matrimony website, I've had a dad speak for his daughter at least initially. I will admit I don't mind my messages being read by a mahram but it certainly is off putting to talk to a parent on a dating website. I'll say give him a chance I guess. Truth be told if the mom is looking online she might be a little bit desperate. Personally if I asked my mom and she created my a profile I'd be like lol (I'd expect her to talk to her friends). If there really is that much compatibility meet up with that family in person and talk to him. See how it goes. You really haven't gotten much to lose. Good luck.

          Men who are lookers and practising are the first ones to get snagged up as long as they have a job that pays for the family.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

            As long as she isn't a fraud then take you're wali with you and meet up in a public place

            Good looking and shy? Hmmm

            Which website is that, I couldn't find anyone

            Oh sorry it's cos I'm ten out of ten

            :rotfl:

            :1popcorn:
            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

              And shy is not a bad thing

              It's a flipping BONUS as long as he is decisive and independent.

              Make sure she is not one of those wacko :wacko: mils

              I remember once my potentials family complained about me being shy, they thought I was hiding something fishy

              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                Originally posted by s86ahmed View Post
                I should've said this instead. This post is the definition of humble bragging. Go for it sister.
                Does it put you off if the wali speaks to you?

                I had alot of potentials who are like 'oh no no, I want to know her, are you forcing her, is she oppressed'

                Paraphrased




                I just thought it is me ya mug but on behalf of my pops
                And my brother read the messages too


                :rotfl:
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                  And shy is not a bad thing

                  It's a flipping BONUS as long as he is decisive and independent.

                  Make sure she is not one of those wacko :wacko: mils

                  I remember once my potentials family complained about me being shy, they thought I was hiding something fishy

                  well you are bangladeshi so it kinda goes with the territory...you have a potential?..should i buy a new hat?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                    Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post
                    well you are bangladeshi so it kinda goes with the territory...you have a potential?..should i buy a new hat?


                    Knew someone would point that out

                    I am British and proud thank u very much. My grandparents are Bangladeshi, but I am from the land of great spuds. :mujahida:


                    Are you still single?
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                      Originally posted by FleetingSakura View Post
                      so one day on a matrimonial site, a woman randomly messaged me on her son's behalf. She made a whole profile for her son. I hesitated for a while because I've never communicated this way before nor do I prefer it. So I took a leap of fate and discovered her son and I are both practicing muslims. Long story short, we've messaged back and forth. Apparently her son and I are compatible with each other, we've exchanged photos and what not. We come from the same hometown, similar upbringing, etc. Now I'm starting to have doubts because I'm used to communicating with my prospects directly. His mother's excuse is that he prefers his mother to find him a spouse and to talk on his behalf instead - apparently he's shy lol and I've never dealt with a shy man before. she doesn't quote what he says directly. I haven't spoken to him directly before. Our parents, me and him are supposed to meet up soon. Why do I feel so awkward about this?!!! Not going to lie, he is a looker but is this way even normal? They know my name but I don't know there's. Oh deary me!

                      I can't find any articles or threads related to my situation hence why I posted this here!
                      *faith*
                      They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                        Dude needs to grow a pair.

                        If he's shy about something like this, maybe he's not ready to get married.

                        Thats just my take on it. Could be wrong/
                        They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                          As long as she isn't a fraud then take you're wali with you and meet up in a public place

                          Good looking and shy? Hmmm

                          Which website is that, I couldn't find anyone

                          Oh sorry it's cos I'm ten out of ten

                          :rotfl:

                          :1popcorn:
                          Dear ukhti, they are new improved breed of men.:unconscious:

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                            Originally posted by uccello verde View Post
                            Dear ukhti, they are new improved breed of men.:unconscious:
                            :scratch:

                            Further research must be done
                            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Online: Marriage prospect's mother contacts me on his behalf, is this normal?

                              Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                              Dude needs to grow a pair.

                              If he's shy about something like this, maybe he's not ready to get married.

                              Thats just my take on it. Could be wrong/
                              He is probably not used to talking to women which is a BONUS

                              As long as he knows how to communicate in general
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                              Comment

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