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    #61
    Re: Single and unhappy

    Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
    Need to try harder to sell that vomit...:)
    Learning romance on UF has this effect...anyway this is a serious thread and it's still running so shush from us both.

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      #62
      Re: Single and unhappy

      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
      Learning romance on UF has this effect...anyway this is a serious thread and it's still running so shush from us both.
      She just wanted to let some feeling out ,OP says.
      Another day then.....

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        #63
        Re: Single and unhappy

        You will always be sad and uncontent as long as you follow the western kafir lifestyle
        Turn to Islam and find a husband the islamic way and you will be much happier
        ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

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          #64
          Re: Single and unhappy

          Women are too emotional
          ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

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            #65
            Re: Single and unhappy

            It's at least 20 times better to be single and unhappy than to be married and unhappy.

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              #66
              Re: Single and unhappy

              Originally posted by abufulaans View Post
              Women are too emotional
              Well if you have an issue with how Allah (swt) made us then I would suggest you take it up with Him.

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                #67
                Re: Single and unhappy

                Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                Well if you have an issue with how Allah (swt) made us then I would suggest you take it up with Him.
                It's a test, you need to fight it
                Just like men are weak when it comes to attaining authority and rulership, and women
                ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

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                  #68
                  Re: Single and unhappy

                  Originally posted by A500DaBest View Post
                  You want me to hide behind the shadow of my finger? I do go out a lot actually. I go out to do house errands, I go out to work, I go out to take my cat for a walk, I go out to buy stuff for my family. Ok, I don't go out to party. I don't go out to bars where are dancing, singing and mixed of the sexes. I do not go out dating and jumping from women to women to women. But is that really bad? Maybe in the distance future I will change and find someone and have children and family but I doubt it though. I am reaching my 39, single, virgin..never dated ones and....finding fulfillment this way. Though today I came from teaching students with my mom and brother in their house and I saw the wife telling the children to go and kiss the hand of their father and his forehead.

                  To be honest my jaw dropped. Maybe I need to see more that to remove the warped ideas I have in my mind and heart because that is rare...very rare to see a wife telling children to respect their father in the 21st century.

                  I am beyond shocked when I saw that..and saw the house of tranquility in that Muslim family. To say that is common is a lie. This is rare in today's world. It is rare to see husband and wife work together. It is rare to see respect and love between each other. It is rare to see a mother telling their children to show respect to their father.....but anything is possible in this world.
                  Dude.. you take your cat for a walk? That's so cool.

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Re: Single and unhappy

                    Originally posted by abufulaans View Post
                    It's a test, you need to fight it
                    Just like men are weak when it comes to attaining authority and rulership, and women
                    Where does it say that?

                    Emotions for men and women are healthy, natural and normal. I'm not talking about being overly emotional, but appropriately emotional. Some men still roll their eyes. I'd hand them some sunglasses so that I don't have to see it.

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Re: Single and unhappy

                      Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                      Where does it say that?

                      Emotions for men and women are healthy, natural and normal. I'm not talking about being overly emotional, but appropriately emotional. Some men still roll their eyes. I'd hand them some sunglasses so that I don't have to see it.
                      Various hadith and verses show it,

                      Men and women were created differently and fall into certain sins/tests easier

                      What I mean is that women allow their emotions to take over them alot easier, there's much evidence in Islam for this aswell, let alone what science says
                      ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

                      Comment


                        #71
                        Re: Single and unhappy

                        Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
                        :wswrwb:

                        Sister, you sound like you have a lot going for you, however right now it is difficult for sisters to find a single guy who meets all of criteria and that of their parents leaving you three choices:

                        1. Look again at your criteria again. Is there anything you really don't need in there? Divide things up into must haves and desirable traits. List them in importance, don't let silly cultural expectations or those you're family might have get in the way of marriage.
                        2. Marry a guy who is already married. Due to difficulties finding women who will agree to polygamy, they tend to be less picky and it means a number of those already married guys previously off the market now are back again as an option.
                        3. Keep being patient, knowing every year your value as a potential wife decreases.
                        In his point 1 he is indirectly telling you to let go of either attractive men or those who might have a few brain cells... or marry down. Like marry someone who earns a fraction to you. Don't!
                        The second point... are you serious Ginger??? You say this like Polygamy is so widespread... pick a guy!
                        The third point is the worst. Muslim men like you perpetuate this idea that a women is useless unless she is young, married and fertile. Otherwise she is better off dead. No wonder girls like this sister are at the end of their tether! And she's only 28!

                        SERIOUSLY sister, do not listen to these crazy men.

                        First of all congratulations for being so patient and God fearing. And a big *hug* to you. Believe me sister, every 28 year old girl has been in your place and cried themselves to sleep. I was you once when I was 28. But over time I have really embraced my life... really started to appreciate the simple things, like good health (not being in pain, or having joint issues or cancer, being able to see, hear, walk!), a great job where I get to do so many things other people can't, good family, wonderful friends. I have learned to love and appreciate myself and I really love my life! I will only marry someone if I feel they will fit into it... no way will I consider marrying someone that can make my life hell. Marriage doesn't make people happy... only you can be happy within yourself... and only then will you end up picking the right man. Your unhappiness my dear sister is clearly showing in the men you end up meeting. Take a break from meeting men... set some time aside to spend quality time with family... with real friends. Or do something you truly enjoy... perhaps do some voluntary work... with poorly children. Whatever will make your heart full with love. And only when you love yourself, when you feel like you don't need a man will you end up only choosing quality men to get to know.

                        Remember sister, the same way no one can see how unhappy you are, because of the way you display your life... you have no idea how happy or unhappy these married people are that you see in your everyday life. Some of my married friends who I thought were having the time of their life... are so depressed it's shocking. If you saw how messed up their lives was you would be thanking Allah for not being in that position.

                        I know my words may mean little to you right now... but I promise you, in 5 years time, you will be laughing at your 28 year old self.

                        All the best to you :)

                        Comment


                          #72
                          Re: Single and unhappy

                          Originally posted by Jade Vine View Post
                          It's at least 20 times better to be single and unhappy than to be married and unhappy.
                          Exactly! Imagine having to avoid a miserable other who lives in your space! Sleeps in your bed... OMG... I'm already scared.

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Re: Single and unhappy

                            Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
                            In his point 1 he is indirectly telling you to let go of either attractive men or those who might have a few brain cells... or marry down. Like marry someone who earns a fraction to you. Don't!
                            The second point... are you serious Ginger??? You say this like Polygamy is so widespread... pick a guy!
                            The third point is the worst. Muslim men like you perpetuate this idea that a women is useless unless she is young, married and fertile. Otherwise she is better off dead. No wonder girls like this sister are at the end of their tether! And she's only 28!

                            SERIOUSLY sister, do not listen to these crazy men.

                            First of all congratulations for being so patient and God fearing. And a big *hug* to you. Believe me sister, every 28 year old girl has been in your place and cried themselves to sleep. I was you once when I was 28. But over time I have really embraced my life... really started to appreciate the simple things, like good health (not being in pain, or having joint issues or cancer, being able to see, hear, walk!), a great job where I get to do so many things other people can't, good family, wonderful friends. I have learned to love and appreciate myself and I really love my life! I will only marry someone if I feel they will fit into it... no way will I consider marrying someone that can make my life hell. Marriage doesn't make people happy... only you can be happy within yourself... and only then will you end up picking the right man. Your unhappiness my dear sister is clearly showing in the men you end up meeting. Take a break from meeting men... set some time aside to spend quality time with family... with real friends. Or do something you truly enjoy... perhaps do some voluntary work... with poorly children. Whatever will make your heart full with love. And only when you love yourself, when you feel like you don't need a man will you end up only choosing quality men to get to know.

                            Remember sister, the same way no one can see how unhappy you are, because of the way you display your life... you have no idea how happy or unhappy these married people are that you see in your everyday life. Some of my married friends who I thought were having the time of their life... are so depressed it's shocking. If you saw how messed up their lives was you would be thanking Allah for not being in that position.

                            I know my words may mean little to you right now... but I promise you, in 5 years time, you will be laughing at your 28 year old self.

                            All the best to you :)
                            +1

                            xx
                            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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                              #74
                              Re: Single and unhappy

                              Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
                              In his point 1 he is indirectly telling you to let go of either attractive men or those who might have a few brain cells... or marry down. Like marry someone who earns a fraction to you. Don't!
                              The second point... are you serious Ginger??? You say this like Polygamy is so widespread... pick a guy!
                              The third point is the worst. Muslim men like you perpetuate this idea that a women is useless unless she is young, married and fertile. Otherwise she is better off dead. No wonder girls like this sister are at the end of their tether! And she's only 28!

                              SERIOUSLY sister, do not listen to these crazy men.

                              First of all congratulations for being so patient and God fearing. And a big *hug* to you. Believe me sister, every 28 year old girl has been in your place and cried themselves to sleep. I was you once when I was 28. But over time I have really embraced my life... really started to appreciate the simple things, like good health (not being in pain, or having joint issues or cancer, being able to see, hear, walk!), a great job where I get to do so many things other people can't, good family, wonderful friends. I have learned to love and appreciate myself and I really love my life! I will only marry someone if I feel they will fit into it... no way will I consider marrying someone that can make my life hell. Marriage doesn't make people happy... only you can be happy within yourself... and only then will you end up picking the right man. Your unhappiness my dear sister is clearly showing in the men you end up meeting. Take a break from meeting men... set some time aside to spend quality time with family... with real friends. Or do something you truly enjoy... perhaps do some voluntary work... with poorly children. Whatever will make your heart full with love. And only when you love yourself, when you feel like you don't need a man will you end up only choosing quality men to get to know.

                              Remember sister, the same way no one can see how unhappy you are, because of the way you display your life... you have no idea how happy or unhappy these married people are that you see in your everyday life. Some of my married friends who I thought were having the time of their life... are so depressed it's shocking. If you saw how messed up their lives was you would be thanking Allah for not being in that position.

                              I know my words may mean little to you right now... but I promise you, in 5 years time, you will be laughing at your 28 year old self.

                              All the best to you :)
                              I am not asking her to go down the dole queue and pick the next brother, but almost every single time a brother or sister complains there are no good men / women to marry and you examine their criteria you can find some of their criteria are not necessary or just dumb.
                              FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

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                                #75
                                Re: Single and unhappy

                                Originally posted by abufulaans View Post
                                Various hadith and verses show it,

                                Men and women were created differently and fall into certain sins/tests easier

                                What I mean is that women allow their emotions to take over them alot easier, there's much evidence in Islam for this as well, let alone what science says
                                I accept and agree with what you've said until the final paragraph. Women are created (mostly) with certain hormones which can cause regular fluctuations in their emotional balance.

                                For the most part, women can be in control of their emotions. At other certain times, biology takes over and you just have to sit it out, such as pregnancy. For other women over-emotionalism can be a sign that something else is wrong and a woman might need medical attention.

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