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What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

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  • #31
    Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

    The Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم said:

    “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

    Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1853; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

    And there are other similar texts.

    Allaah has explained the reason in the verse where He says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:34]

    This superiority is something that Allaah has decreed, and He is not to be questioned about what He does, rather they are to be questioned. It is also because of what the man does, spending on his family and striving to earn a living for them.

    Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer (1/363):

    “The phrase ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ means that they are superior in physical nature, attitude, status, obedience to the commands of Allaah, spending, taking care of interests, and virtue, in this world and in the Hereafter, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means’

    [al-Nisa’4:34].”

    He also said (1/653):

    "Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ meaning that men are in charge of women, i.e., they are their leaders, who rule over them and discipline them if they go astray. ‘because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’ means, because men are superior to women, and men are better than women. Hence Prophethood was given to men only, as is the highest position of authority (i.e., khilaafah or the position of caliph), because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No people will ever succeed who appoint a woman as their ruler.”

    Narrated by al-Bukhaari from the hadeeth of ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Abi Bakr from his father.
    [MENTION=111457]nudgetheputri[/MENTION]
    Last edited by Muslimahghuraba; 09-06-17, 01:57 AM.

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    • #32
      Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

      I do not think all men are like that. I just gave s generalisation because most fall into that category. But Alhamdulillah I know there are good men out there. I pray Allah blesses them with a righteous spouse. Ameen
      [MENTION=143728]horizon[/MENTION]

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      • #33
        Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

        Is that the only part that stood out to You? That's the physical characteristics I mentioned I also spoke about the deen being important.

        And in regards to effeminate males they are not only effeminate in their dressing but their thinking too.

        And it's hard. Very hard. But khair Qadr Allah
        [MENTION=122131]Stoic Believer[/MENTION]

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        • #34
          Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

          Originally posted by Theistic View Post
          It is true that people have different priorities and not everyone has the same experiences of life. Those priorities and past experiences help us to make decisions in our life. Yet, it is debatable whether to get married is solely a personal choice or not.

          Muslims are encouraged to get married according to Quran and Sunnah. So, if a Muslim decides for himself/ herself to not get married then is it a sin or not?

          And if it depends on situation, then what are those legitimate reasons which allow a Muslim to remain unmarried?

          Please discuss it positively.

          :jkk:
          Not everyone has the right mindset for marriage. I am one of them.

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          • #35
            Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

            I think you can say no to marriage if you know you won't be able to listen to a man because of your own ego.

            At the end of the day the rules are set, no point of sugar coating or pretending that it's all lovely jubbly. It's a duty. A job.

            For women, you get married, you listen to your husband, dress up for him, be happy and smiley for him, attend to him, live you life for him and get on with your obligation towards worshipping Allah too.

            You listen to him, you ask him for his permission in everything you do.

            If this disturbs you and really grinds your gears, an Islamic marriage is not for you unless you are willing to put that ego aside and compromise a lot.

            Marriage is not easy for us women because we have to be conscious every time, this applies when we are single but it's slightly different. You have to learn to be content with what you have been given while being cautious about how you can come across in front of your husband. Our families can be forgiving and understanding but when you're husband is concerned you have to put a lot of effort in, he will notice things more and have those expectations.


            You might even have ambitions but these ambitions may not sit well with your husband.

            If you are an independent woman who doesn't need intimacy in her life and thinks she can handle life alone then personally I don't see the problem here, but Islamically, you have to ask yourself what roles Allah wants you to fulfil as a muslimah. What's really stopping you? I understand it is hard to find an independent man, but then again, I don't think it's an issue at all because women I come across are eager to get married, it's just about finding the right man. Please don't settle for less. If you have to obey him, find a good guardian. Don't marry someone for the sake of it, there is no respect in that, your marriage will be lifeless.
            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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            • #36
              Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

              Also, for the sisters who don't know, please learn about men.

              Read the Islamic and non Islamic perspective.

              It's 2017, things have changed, our environments are different and they have influenced both genders. Choose wisely or don't get married at all.

              Another reason is If you don't want kids, don't get married. There is no guarantee unless you take some serious preventative measures but again, what is your reason and what will you say to Allah?

              Last note, please enjoy your single lives sisters, make the most of it. This is the time to shine. Not many people will tell you the differences but single life is a blessing too, don't take it for granted.

              All the best.
              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                Well, at least you're honest.

                27 isn't old. You're still young.

                For marriage it is an 'old' age (I'm being real), in general it's not.

                Sisters shouldn't feel bad about it though.
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                  I don't know if it has been mentioned or not but the prophet :saw: encouraged marriage, I think he said he will compete with the others messengers of islam when it comes to the number of followers

                  someone can correct me if I'm wrong

                  it's just something to think about, it's serious business
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                    It goes both ways. But whatever, Allah knows best.
                    Last edited by nudgetheputri; 09-06-17, 03:40 PM.

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                    • #40
                      Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                      I don't know if it has been mentioned or not but the prophet :saw: encouraged marriage, I think he said he will compete with the others messengers of islam when it comes to the number of followers

                      someone can correct me if I'm wrong

                      it's just something to think about, it's serious business
                      What I find in sisters that gives me high respect to them is that they take marriage and concept of marriage seriously. I wish brothers would too :(.
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                      ┃╰━╯┈┈╰╯┈┈┈┃
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                      • #41
                        Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        For women, you get married, you listen to your husband, dress up for him, be happy and smiley for him, attend to him, live you life for him and get on with your obligation towards worshipping Allah too.

                        You listen to him, you ask him for his permission in everything you do.
                        Sounds like a nightmare for women, and I'm a male typing this...

                        I'm not surprised my ex never did any of that. Hmm, maybe that's why she's my ex!
                        Last edited by oshirowanen; 09-06-17, 04:01 PM.

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                        • #42
                          Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                          Originally posted by Kya View Post
                          marriage is a choice. It is not fard. I don't' think one needs a reason to never marry. As long as they are staying in straight path & not indulging in haram activity to fulfill their need, nothing wrong with it.
                          Originally posted by Faith reloaded View Post
                          It can be fardh, it can be makruh, it can be haram, it can be mustahab etc.

                          It depends on the individual and his/her circumstances
                          Originally posted by Jade Vine View Post
                          Well, in Islam it is not illegal to stay single, it's not like there is a board that will decide whether your reasons are legitimate or no. If you think it's best not to get married, I don't think you're a great sinner (unless you fall into fornication which is obviously wrong).
                          Staying single has its charms people, I don't know how come so few people realize it nowadays. Enjoy life ;)
                          Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                          I know right.

                          I don't think it's wrong to be single, if you know you won't fall into sin.
                          These are terrible advices.

                          "As long as"

                          The reason why the prophet Muhammad SAW advice's marriage strongly is because "as long as" arguments with regards to not marrying are weak. Extremly weak.
                          Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

                          If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            I think you can say no to marriage if you know you won't be able to listen to a man because of your own ego.

                            ...

                            If you are an independent woman who doesn't need intimacy in her life and thinks she can handle life alone then personally I don't see the problem here, but Islamically, you have to ask yourself what roles Allah wants you to fulfil as a muslimah. What's really stopping you? I understand it is hard to find an independent man, but then again, I don't think it's an issue at all because women I come across are eager to get married, it's just about finding the right man. Please don't settle for less. If you have to obey him, find a good guardian. Don't marry someone for the sake of it, there is no respect in that, your marriage will be lifeless.
                            I'm not sure how you were raised or how the women were treated by their husbands in your vicinity, but what you described up there ^^^ is not a marriage.

                            It seems more like a cultural-agenda packaged as "Islam" that has warped your reality as to what marriage is.

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                            • #44
                              Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                              A man not marrying might be ok but we as women NEED to be married because we need a mahram....we need to give our fathers and brothers a break and find some new man to take on this arduous roll
                              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                              • #45
                                Re: What can be the legitimate reasons to say NO to marriage...

                                Originally posted by Abdell View Post
                                These are terrible advices.

                                "As long as"

                                The reason why the prophet Muhammad SAW advice's marriage strongly is because "as long as" arguments with regards to not marrying are weak. Extremly weak.
                                Well.

                                If a person is unmarried - then I would advise them to marry. However, if a person has been married and are single for whatever reason [i.e, divorced/widowed] - and they have no desire to remarry, then I would respect their wishes. Similarly, I wouldn't like to be pressured to do so if I have no desire to.

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