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Co - Wife.....

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    Re: Co - Wife.....

    Originally posted by aynina View Post
    Yea i know that but i mean never make one of them feel underapreciated
    Can you really chill a woman's head, I mean really, can you??

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      Re: Co - Wife.....

      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
      Can you really chill a woman's head, I mean really, can you??
      Why u so frustrated bruv???

      You can to a certain level
      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

      Comment


        Re: Co - Wife.....

        Originally posted by aynina View Post
        Why u so frustrated bruv???

        You can to a certain level
        You womenz are always moving the goal posts.

        Well if it's to a certain level then there can and will be occasions where she feels under appreciated. It can't be avoided bruv, you have to manage your expectations.

        Comment


          Re: Co - Wife.....

          Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
          You womenz are always moving the goal posts.

          Well if it's to a certain level then there can and will be occasions where she feels under appreciated. It can't be avoided bruv, you have to manage your expectations.
          I haverly low expectations but ik what u mean, other woman are crazy sometimes
          يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

          O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

          Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

          Comment


            Re: Co - Wife.....

            Originally posted by aynina View Post
            I haverly low expectations but ik what u mean, other woman are crazy sometimes
            That's it...I'm normal but others are cray...I hear you sis, I hear you.

            Comment


              Re: Co - Wife.....

              Originally posted by Sis_Asiya View Post
              Apart from othera commenting has sis Jenicca actually been back to thread and updated it?
              Nope.


              [MENTION=38207]Jenicca[/MENTION] what happened?
              Last edited by Indefinable; 09-07-17, 07:59 PM.

              Comment


                Re: Co - Wife.....

                Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                Nope.


                [MENTION=69555]jennica[/MENTION] what happened?
                [MENTION=38207]Jenicca[/MENTION]
                "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
                - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

                Comment


                  Re: Co - Wife.....

                  Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
                  [MENTION=38207]Jenicca[/MENTION]
                  I hate spelling errors. They ruin everything.

                  :jkk: for that sis. It was within the fifteen minute window. (Alhamdulillaah).

                  Comment


                    Re: Co - Wife.....

                    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                    Nope.


                    @Jenicca what happened?
                    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
                    Maybe she's been overloaded with wisdom.

                    Comment


                      Re: Co - Wife.....

                      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                      That's it...I'm normal but others are cray...I hear you sis, I hear you.
                      I guess im cray but others are normal, which makes them controllfreaks not me
                      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                      Comment


                        Re: Co - Wife.....

                        Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
                        RE your point,



                        This would not be the case in every instance, if a woman genuinely feels she cannot live with this, it is making her miserable and affecting her deen and emaan then she has a right to ask for a divorce and if not given approach an islamic court for khula and Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alayhi wa salam) gave the khula of one of the sahabiyat because she was not attracted to her husband so whatever is greater than this is falling under the same.

                        Yes divorce without a valid reason is a serious matter and a big sin, but what is a valid reason is wider and more reasonable than most cultural imams would suggest when giving talks on marriage or advising sisters seeking help when in oppressive marriages.
                        Originally posted by Ayman2 View Post
                        Question, why it will be a sin if she asks for a divorce? isn't a valid reason? ie. what is considered as a valid reason in general? does the same reasons apply to men as well?
                        Well, many questions actually :up:
                        Men have the right to divorce originally so they are not bound by a reason. But they lose on Mahr and if children then he has to sustain them until they are grown up. As for women, they should not ask for a divorce without a valid reason.

                        a women asks her husband for a divorce, for no reason, then the smell of paradise is forbidden for her". (At-Tirmidhi narrated it. He said this is a hasan hadith. Sunnah At-Tirmidhi #1187.)

                        So thats why if a husband is totally just and the polygamy clause was not in the contract then technically a woman asking for divorce will be under this hadith. The other issue that Gingerbeardman mentioned is Allah(swt) not burdening a soul beyond his/her capability. So if a woman dislikes husband's appearance and the reason is that she cannot be intimate then she can demand Khula. And husband may ask for return of Mahr.

                        But many times, this "capability" thing is artificial. Its not that wife is not being able to be intimate with husband. Its her Nafs that she will not tolerate another woman in life. If she has that nature then better write that in contract. If its not written in the contract then there is a big danger that if she later asks for the divorce then she falls under this hadith of Tirimdhi.

                        Comment


                          Re: Co - Wife.....

                          Originally posted by aynina View Post
                          Yea i know that but i mean never make one of them feel underapreciated
                          He has to be totally equal in treatment. What lies deep inside his heart is not under his control. Prophet(sa) also said "Oh Allah dont ask for me whats not under my control." And it was well known to his(sa) wives that he loved Ayesha(ra) more.

                          Comment


                            Re: Co - Wife.....

                            Originally posted by savo234 View Post
                            So thats why if a husband is totally just and the polygamy clause was not in the contract then technically a woman asking for divorce will be under this hadith. The other issue that Gingerbeardman mentioned is Allah(swt) not burdening a soul beyond his/her capability. So if a woman dislikes husband's appearance and the reason is that she cannot be intimate then she can demand Khula. And husband may ask for return of Mahr..
                            BarakaAllah fik.
                            Even if there is a clause, still he can change his mind later?

                            Comment


                              Re: Co - Wife.....

                              Originally posted by Ayman2 View Post
                              BarakaAllah fik.
                              Even if there is a clause, still he can change his mind later?
                              By clause we mean not a promise that " I ll never marry second." By clause I mean " If I do this the yoj have right of divorce."

                              Scholars say that in this case if he changes his mind. Then the woman gets the option to either still compromise or has the right of divorce. The clause benefits her because she ll not.

                              1. Have to go through potentially longer Khula process.
                              2. She ll not be sinning under the hadith of tirimdhi by asking for divorce because it was part of contract.

                              Withoit this condition in contract and valid reason. She has risk of 1 and 2.

                              Comment


                                Re: Co - Wife.....

                                Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
                                Be careful with your words, they go back in to world and come and hit you right back in the face!

                                What kind of things needs to be considered in a polygamous marriage?
                                It's simple. A man needs to be kind to his wives and have a lot of money. Polygamy should be left to rich men. Most men should stick with one wife and plan for their future. It takes a lot to raise multiple families. It is easier to do back home than in the west. Men must be able to provide separate accommodation for each wife. Also, you must also be able to afford to educate all your children. With money, it's easier to please everyone. Most men have no business with polygamy. They are just in denial. It's better to stick to one wife & make one family. It should be done only by those men who have above average income. You are not supposed to cram your families into one house or live off the state. We only need a small percentage of wealthy men to practice polygamy in order to solve the problem of spinsterhood.

                                Many men get excited about the idea of having multiple women, but they don't take into account the RESPONSIBILITY that comes with having multiple wives & children.
                                Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                                Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                                [Al Quran 13:28]
                                ]

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