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Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

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    #31
    Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    oh

    sorry fakhri but :1popcorn:

    in other words you're just a selfish man

    dw it's better to hear it from a stranger and it's a common one

    lmso
    Unless someone's personal concerns are wrapped up in Allah then they just need to marry someone who is also like that, then inshallah they'll both meet in the same place.

    Comment


      #32
      Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

      Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
      Unless someone's personal concerns are wrapped up in Allah then they just need to marry someone who is also like that, then inshallah they'll both meet in the same place.
      Maybe.

      I disagree. We both might love chocolate but we don't love each other because there are other factors involved such as our personalities which can make us incompatible for each other.

      I don't think having taqwa will automatically create love between the spouses. Respect maybe but not love.
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

      Comment


        #33
        Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
        Maybe.

        I disagree. We both might love chocolate but we don't love each other because there are other factors involved such as our personalities which can make us incompatible for each other.

        I don't think having taqwa will automatically create love between the spouses. Respect maybe but not love.
        I disagree with your disagreement

        We're talking about a new wife or husband so, those compatibilities would have already been checked prior to marriage, as much as can be checked inshallah.

        After marriage, it's a question of putting into practice the religion concerning marriage and if both people do that then Inshallah they'll be trying to make it easy for each other?

        Comment


          #34
          Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

          Fear of being incapable

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            #35
            Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

            Fear of inadequacy.

            Comment


              #36
              Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

              falling short in fulfilling the rights of a husband
              and not being able to complete everything I want because of being too preoccupied with all that comes with marriage
              شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
              فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
              وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
              ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

              Comment


                #37
                Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                Originally posted by babadods View Post
                hmm id say my worry is that id end up with someone who isnt compatible with me, i think differently and im not materialistic at all i worry ill end up with a barbie who's into all these things kuffar women are into.
                someone who doesn't do niqab
                someone who learns islam from tv and condemns any so called terror attacks
                someone who lacks faith
                someone who lacks islamic knowledge
                someone who is into the whole women should work thing (dont say they should because i personally cant accept it i work as an engineer and my salary could support a family np allhamdulillah so i find it pointless for her to do any outside work she should concentrate on household things like cooking etc) there's plenty of other things to do like go to in laws or have her friends over have a woman's day kinda thing etc working hard in the house and outside is zulm on a woman in my eyes.
                sooo many things worry me lol but sallah and being a good muslimah would be my main objective i couldn't careless if im 21 and shes 35 with 2 kids and divorced but she needs to be decent.
                Wow there is so much wrong with your post that I don't know where to begin! Why are you against someone who condemns terrorist attacks?!

                Comment


                  #38
                  Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                  Originally posted by cenneti_isteyen View Post
                  Wow there is so much wrong with your post that I don't know where to begin! Why are you against someone who condemns terrorist attacks?!
                  I don't want someone weak and someone whos going to be sorry for things i haven't done or she aint done ... Simple.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                    Originally posted by babadods View Post
                    I don't want someone weak and someone whos going to be sorry for things i haven't done or she aint done ... Simple.
                    But you don't want a woman who condemns the attrocities committed by groups like Boko Haram and DAESH

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                      Not having the right attitude for it (wise, tolerant, patient, forgiving, etc.)
                      *
                      *
                      * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                        :jkk: much appreciated ....

                        I will go through and read and reply at some point insha'Allah
                        وَالْعَصْرِ

                        إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                        إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                        "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                        "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                        Khanqah Habibiyah

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                          Originally posted by Rifqah View Post
                          I disagree with your disagreement

                          We're talking about a new wife or husband so, those compatibilities would have already been checked prior to marriage, as much as can be checked inshallah.

                          After marriage, it's a question of putting into practice the religion concerning marriage and if both people do that then Inshallah they'll be trying to make it easy for each other?

                          I see

                          This is how I look at it. Depending on the time scale and how long you want to know that individual, it's still not a guarantee. You may find that before the marriage it was just a 'spark' but then you realise after the marriage you don't feel much towards that person even though you treat them right, there's no affection or 'love' towards your wife. It becomes just a duty. A job. We all know relationships are more than that or should be more than that.

                          They might have that similar Islamic foundation, but if we want to go a bit further and talk about emotions such as love, or needs, or just general affection towards your wife, these things will only happen if you like that person.

                          If I meet someone that's on the same page as me, we might not click or get along as husband and wife. That something is missing, you need to gel with your spouse. Religion is the guideline on how to go about it but when it comes to embracing your partner because you love them this is something else that requires your interest in them and who they are as a person and if you find that attractive enough or not to really be that companion.

                          [MENTION=39142]Fakhri[/MENTION] ( sorry, I'll use you as an example, )

                          He doesn't want to marry because he doesn't feel ready or he isn't a millionaire yet or whatever the reason, don't care :zzz:

                          But then some hijabi skips along and his mum says she looks pretty and modest, marry her.

                          Fakhir thinks hmm :scratch: okay mum! The two speak and find that wow, they're on the same manhaj. They get married but instead of becoming really good friends it's all just mutual and civil for the sake of marriage and islam.

                          Lmso
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            I see

                            This is how I look at it. Depending on the time scale and how long you want to know that individual, it's still not a guarantee. You may find that before the marriage it was just a 'spark' but then you realise after the marriage you don't feel much towards that person even though you treat them right, there's no affection or 'love' towards your wife. It becomes just a duty. A job. We all know relationships are more than that or should be more than that.

                            They might have that similar Islamic foundation, but if we want to go a bit further and talk about emotions such as love, or needs, or just general affection towards your wife, these things will only happen if you like that person.

                            If I meet someone that's on the same page as me, we might not click or get along as husband and wife. That something is missing, you need to gel with your spouse. Religion is the guideline on how to go about it but when it comes to embracing your partner because you love them this is something else that requires your interest in them and who they are as a person and if you find that attractive enough or not to really be that companion.

                            [MENTION=39142]Fakhri[/MENTION] ( sorry, I'll use you as an example, )

                            He doesn't want to marry because he doesn't feel ready or he isn't a millionaire yet or whatever the reason, don't care :zzz:

                            But then some hijabi skips along and his mum says she looks pretty and modest, marry her.

                            Fakhir thinks hmm :scratch: okay mum! The two speak and find that wow, they're on the same manhaj. They get married but instead of becoming really good friends it's all just mutual and civil for the sake of marriage and islam.

                            Lmso
                            Not sure how I feel about being used as an example here... Or the fact that my couple of lines (in brackets, as well) has now lead to this(!).

                            But I will say, I think I probably lean towards Sr Rifqah's view more than sister's good self on this... Nothing's ever a guarantee when it comes to such things I guess, but a believing man and a believing woman who have the traits of taqwa, rahmah, forbearance, etc. one would expect things to go reasonably well for them, especially if they find one another's physycal appearance pleasant enough to agree to marry them.

                            Allahu a'lam. Just to let sister or anyone reading this comment know, please don't mind the fact I probably won't reply to anything else on the discussion, knowing how things have a habit of going a bit 'funny' on this part of the forum (!).
                            LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                            -------------------------------
                            "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                            NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                              That my marriage will fail or end up in divorce (probably biggest fear this one)
                              That I'm still lonely after marriage and this is just my lot
                              That marriage actually hasn't been decreed for me and I'll never get married (ok maybe this one is my biggest)
                              That she doesn't know how to cook biryani
                              That she'll find things boring (i don't watch tv or movies due to it being haram)(I mean I'm perfectly happy reading in the evening but yeah)(don't get me wrong well still go out and do stuff like mountain biking etc but you can't go out every night)
                              That my deen will suffer

                              There's more but yeh
                              It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                              "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Re: Concerns & fears of a Single Muslim/ Muslimah

                                I think most importantly it is leaving this world without any children to carry on Islam.

                                Speaking to the converts within this thread especially, wouldn't it be amazing that Islam began through your seed, and it continues down further generations? Think about all the good deeds which will surprise you on the day of judgment.. Now imagine your deeds without it.. Big difference of course.

                                Comment

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