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Telling a potential that I am asexual???

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  • Telling a potential that I am asexual???



    :start:

    This is a bit of an awkward and controversial topic, and there aren't many topics regarding this in the forum so I felt I had to make one.

    I'm aromantic asexual, sex-repulsed (not sure about the aromantic, maybe if I meet that 'speshul some1' lmao) and 21. I'm a burden upon my family and expected to get married. I wouldn't mind being in a purely platonic relationship (and then maybe adopt later on down the line) but I'm not sure which dude would be okay with that. Unless he was also ace, but that's still pretty unlikely.
    All I know is I want to go travelling, see the world, make a name for myself, enjoy life and be a good muslim. I know I cannot travel without a mahram, that's actually one of the reasons I would get married, otherwise I wouldn't at all. I just also think it would not be fair on a non-ace man if I do marry them, so that's why I think I shouldn't at all.
    I guess I just want some advice, on what to do, and to know if there are there any other ace muslims out there? If so, I would love to hear about your experiences, how you deal with being like 'this' and any opinions on marriage, parents etc?

    P.S (before hating on me, please read up about asexuality and such. It is not the same as homosexuality nor do I associate myself with or support such people).

    :jkk:
    Last edited by shymuslim; 10-04-17, 02:04 PM.
    الحمدلله على كل حال

  • #2
    Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

    Wa aleiykum salaam
    Maybe a polygamous marriage,or an asexual man, but marrying a men who isnt asexual you will have a hard time obeying him/satisfying him i suppose
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

      Are you anti-sexual or just asexual??
      It all starts with a thought

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

        Originally posted by Jumpski View Post
        Are you anti-sexual or just asexual??
        Noooo, not anti-sexual lol. I have no problem with people who are sexual they can do as they please, I myself am just not that into it.
        الحمدلله على كل حال

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

          Yes, a polygamous marriage I don't think I would have a problem with. I just don't think my parents would be very happy with that idea lol
          الحمدلله على كل حال

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

            What in the world


            Lemme exit myself outta this thread

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

              How did you come to this conclusion about yourself, you are only very young?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

                Originally posted by shymuslim View Post
                Yes, a polygamous marriage I don't think I would have a problem with. I just don't think my parents would be very happy with that idea lol
                I'm assuming your parents don't know ?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Telling a potential that I am asexual???

                  Firstly, traveling around the world is a pipe dream many people harbor . Traveling requires both time and money. An average young man in his 20's cannot afford it.

                  It is not a wise idea to get married simply for a companion to accompany you on your imaginary world tour. Marriage is much more than that.

                  Secondly, what do "you" have to offer to a potential husband ? Unless you marry a fellow ace, you'll need to have some extra-ordinary qualities that'll make a normal man want to live with you & spend on you ... even as a second or third or fourth wife...

                  There are some men who're not interested in a real marriage ( as in giving their partner physical, social & emotional fulfillment) but marry nonetheless simply to have someone cook & clean for them or take care of their ailing parents...I'm sure you don't want to be stuck in such a situation.

                  Another option would be to marry an impotent man...

                  I don't know any aces but I'm sure there must be a few...I've read their problems & frustrations in counseling sections of magazines & newspapers, so, if you look hard enough, you'll find a like-minded individual....why don't you hint to your family what you're seeking ?

                  Make dua in the last third portion of the night that Allah guides you towards what's best for you with khair & aafiyah.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

                    Originally posted by Nawar View Post
                    How did you come to this conclusion about yourself, you are only very young?
                    I've felt this way a long time. I'm just not attracted to anyone and disgusted at the idea of any kind of physical contact.
                    Last edited by shymuslim; 10-04-17, 03:50 PM.
                    الحمدلله على كل حال

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Asexuality, Islam, marriage??

                      Originally posted by thebench View Post
                      I'm assuming your parents don't know ?
                      No they don't and I'm not sure how to tell them
                      الحمدلله على كل حال

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Telling a potential that I am asexual???

                        Originally posted by shymuslim View Post


                        :start:

                        This is a bit of an awkward and controversial topic, and there aren't many topics regarding this in the forum so I felt I had to make one.

                        I'm aromantic asexual, sex-repulsed (not sure about the aromantic, maybe if I meet that 'speshul some1' lmao) and 21. I'm a burden upon my family and expected to get married. I wouldn't mind being in a purely platonic relationship (and then maybe adopt later on down the line) but I'm not sure which dude would be okay with that. Unless he was also ace, but that's still pretty unlikely.
                        All I know is I want to go travelling, see the world, make a name for myself, enjoy life and be a good muslim. I know I cannot travel without a mahram, that's actually one of the reasons I would get married, otherwise I wouldn't at all. I just also think it would not be fair on a non-ace man if I do marry them, so that's why I think I shouldn't at all.
                        I guess I just want some advice, on what to do, and to know if there are there any other ace muslims out there? If so, I would love to hear about your experiences, how you deal with being like 'this' and any opinions on marriage, parents etc?

                        P.S (before hating on me, please read up about asexuality and such. It is not the same as homosexuality nor do I associate myself with or support such people).

                        :jkk:
                        Salam sis
                        It seems like you are at a difficult dilemma .The chances of finding another asexual partner might be insignificant.

                        If you don't me asking , have you ever considered a therapy ? Do you think you can ever accept the idea ?
                        Ya Allah,
                        Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                        "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Telling a potential that I am asexual???

                          Originally posted by shymuslim View Post


                          :start:

                          This is a bit of an awkward and controversial topic, and there aren't many topics regarding this in the forum so I felt I had to make one.

                          I'm aromantic asexual, sex-repulsed (not sure about the aromantic, maybe if I meet that 'speshul some1' lmao) and 21. I'm a burden upon my family and expected to get married. I wouldn't mind being in a purely platonic relationship (and then maybe adopt later on down the line) but I'm not sure which dude would be okay with that. Unless he was also ace, but that's still pretty unlikely.
                          All I know is I want to go travelling, see the world, make a name for myself, enjoy life and be a good muslim. I know I cannot travel without a mahram, that's actually one of the reasons I would get married, otherwise I wouldn't at all. I just also think it would not be fair on a non-ace man if I do marry them, so that's why I think I shouldn't at all.
                          I guess I just want some advice, on what to do, and to know if there are there any other ace muslims out there? If so, I would love to hear about your experiences, how you deal with being like 'this' and any opinions on marriage, parents etc?

                          P.S (before hating on me, please read up about asexuality and such. It is not the same as homosexuality nor do I associate myself with or support such people).

                          :jkk:
                          Don't waste any man's time and keep your 'sexuality' weirdness to yourself.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Telling a potential that I am asexual???

                            Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
                            Firstly, traveling around the world is a pipe dream many people harbor . Traveling requires both time and money. An average young man in his 20's cannot afford it.

                            It is not a wise idea to get married simply for a companion to accompany you on your imaginary world tour. Marriage is much more than that.

                            Secondly, what do "you" have to offer to a potential husband ? Unless you marry a fellow ace, you'll need to have some extra-ordinary qualities that'll make a normal man want to live with you & spend on you ... even as a second or third or fourth wife...

                            There are some men who're not interested in a real marriage ( as in giving their partner physical, social & emotional fulfillment) but marry nonetheless simply to have someone cook & clean for them or take care of their ailing parents...I'm sure you don't want to be stuck in such a situation.

                            Another option would be to marry an impotent man...

                            I don't know any aces but I'm sure there must be a few...I've read their problems & frustrations in counseling sections of magazines & newspapers, so, if you look hard enough, you'll find a like-minded individual....why don't you hint to your family what you're seeking ?

                            Make dua in the last third portion of the night that Allah guides you towards what's best for you with khair & aafiyah.
                            Sorry sister, it seems you misunderstand me. I didn't literally mean travelling the world lol I just meant like doing new things in new places (if I were financially able), as my parents won't actually let me do anything unless I am married. I know marriage is more than that, I do understand there are certain responsibilities in marriage and even though I may not be ready to uphold them, my parents just want to get rid of me ASAP so if I do marry I need to find an ace man.
                            I wouldn't actually marry unless he was ace. I would never do that kind of injustice to a man.
                            :insha: I do hope I find someone with similar mindset.
                            :jkk: for your response
                            Last edited by shymuslim; 10-04-17, 03:59 PM.
                            الحمدلله على كل حال

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Telling a potential that I am asexual???

                              deleted
                              الحمدلله على كل حال

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