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Does anyone have suggestions for a newly married revert muslimah?

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  • #16
    Re: Does anyone have suggestions for a newly married revert muslimah?

    Originally posted by IrishMuslimah View Post
    Salam,

    A year ago I went to a sister I knew very well at my masjid and she helped me find a husband as it is very difficult for more traditional practicing muslim reverts to find a spouse here in the UK. I met the man a few times in company and we did the marriage properly, however that means most of the vetting had to be done by my friend's family. The man I married is amazing and I love him but I feel there were some expectations he had for me that I did not see coming. I said I wanted a practicing muslim husband who was more traditional so I guess I should have seen some of these issues coming beforehand, but life is a work in progress lol.

    So the first issue is that he wants me to essentially announce to him everytime I am going away from the house, for instance if I want to see my sister or pick up groceries for the week he wants me to send him a text of where I am at and how long I will be. The second is he is VERY strict about my dress. I have always worn hijab since I became muslim and I do not love it but he does not like the jeans I wear or some of the other clothes. Out of respect for him I do not wear them anymore but the clothes he bought me to replace them are not the most "western" lol and do not blend into the surroundings much here.

    The biggest issue is family planning. He does not believe that any form of man made birth control are halal. I wanted to wait at least until next year when I finished my graduate degree to start a family. That plan is already out as I became pregnant very quickly after marriage (mashallah I know its a blessing im not complaining haha). But I am concerned for the future, as I expected to only have 2-3 children but it appears if the trend continues that will not be the case lol.

    Let me know what you guys think I should do? Am I being too picky or is he?
    Your husband can practice coitus interruptus. Or even outercouse. Or sis if u know your ovulation calender, have intercourse the days ur less likley to ovulate.

    The other two you mentioned are just standard, ur hubby needs to know where u at so he isn't a cuck. And the dress thing sis u can wear loose skirts and oversized tops (I do that) or maxi dresses with oversized jumpers/tops u can even wear a poncho so as long as u meet the hijab criteria u should be fine sis.

    Have a discussion with him... see if u can get other opinions regarding some issues and present it to him see what he has to say.
    "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

    "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

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    • #17
      Re: Does anyone have suggestions for a newly married revert muslimah?

      Originally posted by quark View Post
      Ugh. These are things you should've discussed before marriage. You're already pregnant now so too late you all failed.
      This (not the failed part. I'm not mean like Quark :) ). I'm shocked you didn't discuss any of this before marriage.

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      • #18
        Re: Does anyone have suggestions for a newly married revert muslimah?

        Originally posted by quark View Post
        Ugh. These are things you should've discussed before marriage. You're already pregnant now so too late you all failed.
        Pay no attention to Quark, he likes to Troll Muslims
        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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        • #19
          Re: Does anyone have suggestions for a newly married revert muslimah?

          Originally posted by IrishMuslimah View Post
          ...Let me know what you guys think I should do? Am I being too picky or is he?
          What should you do about what? Whatever the case, it's best to speak to you husband... that's what he's there for.

          Thread closed.

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