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  • Fear of Loneliness

    Asalaam Aleikum,

    I am a practising muslim, 20 years old and am in college in UK right now. There is a Muslim girl in my class who i liked very much and summoned up the courage to ask her out. But I don't think she's serious because she kept giving me mixed messages and we haven't talked for a long time.

    There is another girl who is a non-muslim but who I know is into me. She's a really nice person but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to start hanging out with a non-muslim because I don't know what she wants from a relationship.

    At the moment I'm very scared of being lonely. I'm losing my hair already and my confidence is dropping fast and I feel that if I don't find someone now, I'll spend the rest of my life on my own.


    Please if anyone could give me advice it would be much appreciated,
    Shukran to all of you.

  • #2
    Re: Fear of Loneliness

    Originally posted by hahn View Post
    Asalaam Aleikum,

    I am a practising muslim, 20 years old and am in college in UK right now. There is a Muslim girl in my class who i liked very much and summoned up the courage to ask her out. But I don't think she's serious because she kept giving me mixed messages and we haven't talked for a long time.

    There is another girl who is a non-muslim but who I know is into me. She's a really nice person but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to start hanging out with a non-muslim because I don't know what she wants from a relationship.

    At the moment I'm very scared of being lonely. I'm losing my hair already and my confidence is dropping fast and I feel that if I don't find someone now, I'll spend the rest of my life on my own.


    Please if anyone could give me advice it would be much appreciated,
    Shukran to all of you.
    My advice is get counselling asap. As it's not normal to have such fears. Also, it's probably best to not enter into relationships while you have this fear. First step, get counselling to help you remove the fear of loneliness. Once the fear is gone, come back here, and we'll advise on the next step.

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    • #3
      Fear of Loneliness

      :wswrwb:

      A practicing Muslim doesn't ask girls out. Stop that.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
        Originally posted by hahn View Post
        Asalaam Aleikum,

        I am a practising muslim, 20 years old and am in college in UK right now. There is a Muslim girl in my class who i liked very much and summoned up the courage to ask her out. But I don't think she's serious because she kept giving me mixed messages and we haven't talked for a long time.

        There is another girl who is a non-muslim but who I know is into me. She's a really nice person but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to start hanging out with a non-muslim because I don't know what she wants from a relationship.

        At the moment I'm very scared of being lonely. I'm losing my hair already and my confidence is dropping fast and I feel that if I don't find someone now, I'll spend the rest of my life on my own.


        Please if anyone could give me advice it would be much appreciated,
        Shukran to all of you.
        My advice is get counselling asap. As it's not normal to have such fears. Also, it's probably best to not enter into relationships while you have this fear. First step, get counselling to help you remove the fear of loneliness. Once the fear is gone, get into a relationship.
        What kind of relationship? OP is referring to the haram kind.

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        • #5
          Re: Fear of Loneliness

          OK thankyou, but where could I get this kind of counselling?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Fear of Loneliness

            No you should not start anything with a kafira why would you, a practicing muslim as you describe yourself, want that?
            You're only 20 so dont worry you have plenty of time to find a wife...

            My brother been lookin like mickey mouse since he was 18 and he 26 now he still got hair, just less but he aight, its a mans thing they lose hair
            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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            • #7
              Re: Fear of Loneliness

              Originally posted by hahn View Post
              OK thankyou, but where could I get this kind of counselling?
              Depends on where you live. Each country normally has a counselling search engine.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Fear of Loneliness

                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                :wswrwb:

                A practicing Muslim doesn't ask girls out. Stop that.
                Originally posted by aynina View Post
                No you should not start anything with a kafira why would you, a practicing muslim as you describe yourself, want that?
                You're only 20 so dont worry you have plenty of time to find a wife...

                My brother been lookin like mickey mouse since he was 18 and he 26 now he still got hair, just less but he aight, its a mans thing they lose hair
                By practicing he mst likely means he does all the obligatory acts .Some Muslims fufill all the requirements but becasue they lack knowledge they dont understand much about free mixing , relationships ect.
                [MENTION=143348]hahn[/MENTION] Work on your self esteem, improve your spirituality levels and just be happy.Some Muslims wait for 40 years to get married, so you should be patient .Or you can ask your family to find you a good wife.Forget about the non Muslims ,no good will come from it.
                Ya Allah,
                Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Fear of Loneliness

                  When you have Allah ta'ala you are never lonely. Asking a sister out? Come on brother, you must be more practicing than that, you don't even know how much we sin minorly let alone to sin so majorly (haram relations). No one and nothing is ever worth Allah's disapproval, wallah I swear to you. Not a single human nor thing in this world or the heavens can ever provide for you an atom's worth of what Allah ta'ala provides for you. He is ALL you need.

                  The only reason for marriage should be to satisfy our fitrah (human biological needs) and to procreate all in order to please Allah ta'ala. When everything you do is centered around worship and centered around our purpose (worshiping our Lord) you will never be happier or more at peace. Yes, life is very hard and ups and downs and depression and shaytan gets to us etc etc I'm not saying none of that will happen, but deep down, you still have Allah ta'ala in your heart even if your faith has dropped a little (or you're just depressed) and that's what always keeps you going. You keep having hope Allah ta'ala will get you out (and he will exalted is He), and that's your security.

                  And work on your religion, your character and keep yourself tidy and try to follow the Sunnah. Don't worry about your physical appearance when it's genetic problems (things you cannot control). Women don't want men who are like women and worry too much about beautifying themselves, women just want good men, with decent jobs (that can support them) and clean and tidy men (no long and dirty fingernails, etc). And that's the average woman, a more religions woman would want a more religious man and so on. Don't let shaytan get to you and encourage you to do the harams

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Fear of Loneliness

                    Sounds like you are trolling... you wouldnt be hiding behind a new account otherwise... there is no way a "muslim" doesnt know what islam says about dating...
                    I've met so many muslims by name, when it comes to drinking and dating... they know...

                    My 2cents!
                    *
                    *
                    * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Fear of Loneliness

                      allah blees you my brother do not be scared come on you want to know me and a lots of other people like me and maybe more
                      here we are .im 36 years old with an illeostomy ,permanent one and im sure allah has to me my destiny xx
                      come on just in your free time go to the hospital see people how they are suffering and you will undersatnd the mercy of all on you
                      hope you will find some one soon ameen

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Fear of Loneliness

                        It's haraam to date or even speak to a female who's not mahram, except in necessity.
                        Don't worry about such things, concentrate on your life, Islam, and achieving your goals
                        When your physically and mentally ready to marry, then search for marriage.
                        And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                        [al-An’aam 6:59]

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                        • #13
                          Re: Fear of Loneliness

                          Asalamualaykum. You sound like me, I have similar fears. I think you have anxiety of sorts.
                          You are in the UK right, so book an appointment, with your GP. They will ask you some questions about your live style etc. Then they may suggest therapy/ counselling.
                          I know how horrible fear of lonliness is so the sooner you get help, the better. The first step is talking to your GP. Oh and make lots of dua ofcourse, because nothing is possible without the help of Allah

                          In sha Allah I hope you get the help that you need.
                          الحمدلله على كل حال

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