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Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

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  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    you have to actively start searching to understand the process or you'll underestimate it

    kya's post is useful

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    What does looking mean to you? How are you in terms of being realistic? Are you waiting for prince charming or are you looking for average guy? I would not recommend waiting until after you finish grad school because until we start the process, we will live in a frictional world where our demands are not realistic. I have watched friends who were mid 20's, did not start looking & when you speak to them regarding spouse, they sounded like 20 year old. But there is a big difference in those 5 years, they should be worldly enough to understand other people & their emotion & be open minded, lot of which I learned during my "search process". But I also had friends who started looking late but accepted the 1st or 2nd proposal that came to them. they did not wait for the connection or click or understanding.

    so it depends on your mindset. If you are among the people who says "when I am ready I will marry the 1st or 2nd guy that approaches me. It is more important I am ready & every guy is right guy as long as he meets basic requirement. I will learn to love him, understand him and work together". If you have that mindset that wait until you are ready. Because the search process can be emotionally exhausting

    On the other hand if you are in the mindset of finding the "right guy" who gives you the right vibe, who you can connect with & who makes you feel comfortable in the first meeting..etc then its more complicated process & you need time to grow and learn. Most girls start their search with long list of wants & with time and life experience the list shrinks. If you start after grad school, by the time you optimize your list & you understand what truly matters to you vs. what you can compromise on, it might be several years. Also I hope you are ok with marrying guy without graduate degree because if you aren't then you are creating another hurdle.

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Originally posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    Assuming you do a undergraduate/bachelors (3 years) then grad/masters (1 or 2 years), you would be about 22 or 23 when you finish.

    So it's not really late at all to start looking then. Then again this marriage search takes ages for people I've noticed so I guess the sooner you start looking the better (both men and women).
    She goes to school in the US. Bachelors end at 22. Masters at around 24 or 25.

    Leave a comment:


  • Khalid b. Walid
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Assuming you do a undergraduate/bachelors (3 years) then grad/masters (1 or 2 years), you would be about 22 or 23 when you finish.

    So it's not really late at all to start looking then. Then again this marriage search takes ages for people I've noticed so I guess the sooner you start looking the better (both men and women).

    Leave a comment:


  • ABDEL-AZEEM
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    Women were created to worship Allah just like men were. They were not created to be housewives. Every women can not be a house wife because every woman will not get married.
    You need to look back at the history of women in islam.
    Your the only one who needs to look at history of women in Islam because in Islam when muslimeen men and muslimaat women marry they are completing half of their deen , that how important marriage is in Islam. Of course women and men were all created to worship ALLAH AL-AZEEM only, but that is not the only reason that woman created for. Look at the fact that ALLAH AL-AZEEM created the first woman on earth Eve to worship ALLAH AL-AZEEM only and to be the companion and housewife of Prophet Adam and for Eve to get pregnant by Prophet Adam and for Eve to be the mother of the whole human race and not to be single unmarried woman at all. All muslimeen man and muslimaat women are required to be married in Islam, unfortunately just because some muslimaat women are unable to get married during their lifetime does not mean that they were not created to be married and to be housewives. Jannah lays under the feet of mothers that is how important in Islam for all Muslimaat women to get married and to be mothers if they are biologically able to be mothers. http://islaam.org/E-Obli/E-Obli-24.html


    :salams
    Last edited by ABDEL-AZEEM; 05-04-17, 03:48 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    tbh my family thought i'd be taken quite easily

    little did they know of the nasty surprises that awaited them but it's one of our tests

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by malleat1 View Post
    Not sure what grad school is
    But if it is BSc level, nothing wrong with focusing on ur studies, its not like you'll expire by then! You have plenty of time to look...

    If it is post grad studies, then no reason to wait
    easier to say this to someone

    time flys and you are completely out of control of your destiny

    I thought id get married at 22 but still single, i'm happy I didn't get locked down but it is a long process, you have to familiarise yourself with what is out there as well as knowing who will consider you

    worse than a job search

    Leave a comment:


  • Rumaysah~
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    You should start looking now because these things take time

    Leave a comment:


  • Rumaysah~
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by ABDEL-AZEEM View Post
    Your absolutely wrong because AL-Azhar University the longest running university in the world and other Islamic Universities always had islamic jurisprudence degrees and other Islamic degrees since it founding. Also Al-Azhar University had banned women from entering from the time of its founding until after the 1952 free officer revolution when Colonel Gamal Abdel-Nasser opened Al-Azhar university to women for the first time. In fact muslims had degrees and universities before the west ever did for your information. I am for muslimaat women geting an Islamic Education only for their own knowledge but not degrees and for women owning business property/investments.


    Nope I am not making up facts at all. Throughout the Holy Quraan AL-Kareem and the Sunnah it talks about muslimaat women are to worship ALLAH AL-AZEEM only and be housewives only and own property/money and this is mention throughout Holy Quraan AL-Kareem and the Sunnah and from the time of Prophet Adam to Prophet Muhammed :saw: Look at the fact that ALLAH AL-AZEEM created the first woman on earth Eve to be the companion and wife of Prophet Adam and not to be a working woman at all


    Your wrong and deliberately misinterpreting what I had said. I had said that the Mothers of Mumineen owned property but they never had job at all. Khadijah umm mumineen managed her business property/inheritance from her home and that is her property/investment/ inheritance and she appointed her uncle to deal with all of the men always for her and later on she appointed the Prophet Mohammed to deal with all of the men always for her and she never had a 7-5 job at all were she had boss.


    You do not know me at all so do not judge my knowledge with your false baseless erroneous statements.
    For Asma( RA) was working for her family doing housewife duities that is not a job at all. Aisha Umm Mumineen was given special status as Umm Mumineen. The wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: were allowed to teach non-mahram males Islam because ALLAH the Greatest forbid in the HOLY QURAAN AL-KAREEM all men from marrying the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: after the Prophet Mohammed :saw: died . ALLAH the Greatest made a special status for the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: when ALLAH the Greatest called the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: the Mothers of the Mumineen in the HOLY QURAAN AL-KAREEM. Aisha Umm Mumineen taught men Islam because she had learned it from her husband Prophet Muhammed :saw: during his lifetime and so after the Prophet Muhammad :saw: died Aisha Umm Mumineen taught men Islam because all men were prohibited from marrying Aisha Umm Mumineen so it is totally decent for her to teach men. This does not apply at all to the rest of muslimaat women who are not the mothers of mumineen. The fact is Aisha Umm Mumineen was doing her duty in islam and she was not paid for it at all , so therefore it is not a job at all so your totally wrong once again.
    Women were created to worship Allah just like men were. They were not created to be housewives. Every women can not be a house wife because every woman will not get married.
    You need to look back at the history of women in islam.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
    Start looking now
    +10000000

    Leave a comment:


  • ABDEL-AZEEM
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    That's probably because there was no concept of degrees back .
    Your absolutely wrong because AL-Azhar University the longest running university in the world and other Islamic Universities always had islamic jurisprudence degrees and other Islamic degrees since it founding. Also Al-Azhar University had banned women from entering from the time of its founding until after the 1952 free officer revolution when Colonel Gamal Abdel-Nasser opened Al-Azhar university to women for the first time. In fact muslims had degrees and universities before the west ever did for your information. I am for muslimaat women geting an Islamic Education only for their own knowledge but not degrees and for women owning business property/investments.

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    Where in the Quran or Sunnah did you get that women were created to be housewives only? You seem to be making up erroneous facts as you go along.
    Nope I am not making up facts at all. Throughout the Holy Quraan AL-Kareem and the Sunnah it talks about muslimaat women are to worship ALLAH AL-AZEEM only and be housewives only and own property/money and this is mention throughout Holy Quraan AL-Kareem and the Sunnah and from the time of Prophet Adam to Prophet Muhammed :saw: Look at the fact that ALLAH AL-AZEEM created the first woman on earth Eve to be the companion and wife of Prophet Adam and not to be a working woman at all

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    That's not what you said before, did you? According to you, Khadijah (RA) was not just a housewives if she was working part time and running a business, was she? .
    Your wrong and deliberately misinterpreting what I had said. I had said that the Mothers of Mumineen owned property but they never had job at all. Khadijah umm mumineen managed her business property/inheritance from her home and that is her property/investment/ inheritance and she appointed her uncle to deal with all of the men always for her and later on she appointed the Prophet Mohammed to deal with all of the men always for her and she never had a 7-5 job at all were she had boss.

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    Also, FYI, Asma (RA) used to work in the field and go outside of the house to gather food. She wasn't just a housewive. Umar (RA) also appointed female guards during his time - they weren't just housewives. Aisha (RA) used to hold classes and teach - so again, no, she wasn't just a housewife. In fact, there have been many female scholars in the past who taught (even taught men) - and they certainly weren't just housewives.

    You seem to have very limited knowledge and are making baseless assumptions about women and Islamic history.
    You do not know me at all so do not judge my knowledge with your false baseless erroneous statements.
    For Asma( RA) was working for her family doing housewife duities that is not a job at all. Aisha Umm Mumineen was given special status as Umm Mumineen. The wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: were allowed to teach non-mahram males Islam because ALLAH the Greatest forbid in the HOLY QURAAN AL-KAREEM all men from marrying the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: after the Prophet Mohammed :saw: died . ALLAH the Greatest made a special status for the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: when ALLAH the Greatest called the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: the Mothers of the Mumineen in the HOLY QURAAN AL-KAREEM. Aisha Umm Mumineen taught men Islam because she had learned it from her husband Prophet Muhammed :saw: during his lifetime and so after the Prophet Muhammad :saw: died Aisha Umm Mumineen taught men Islam because all men were prohibited from marrying Aisha Umm Mumineen so it is totally decent for her to teach men. This does not apply at all to the rest of muslimaat women who are not the mothers of mumineen. The fact is Aisha Umm Mumineen was doing her duty in islam and she was not paid for it at all , so therefore it is not a job at all so your totally wrong once again.
    Last edited by ABDEL-AZEEM; 01-04-17, 09:19 PM.

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  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by ABDEL-AZEEM View Post
    Throughout most of Islamic history all mumineen men did not marry women with degrees,
    That's probably because there was no concept of degrees back then...

    Also most women who get degrees do it in order to get jobs and not for educational purposes and yes their is no guarantee that a person with a degree will have a job.
    And how do you know what "most" women do?

    Yes women who work are oppressed money making slaves because they were created by ALLAH AL-AZEEM to be free housewives only.
    Where in the Quran or Sunnah did you get that women were created to be housewives only? You seem to be making up erroneous facts as you go along.

    Originally posted by ABDEL-AZEEM View Post
    First of all Khadijah Umm Mumineen managed her business inheritance that she had inherited from her father who had founded the business that she had inherited and she do not have a job at all were she had a boss and she only did it part time and she appointed her uncle to deal with all of the men always for her and later on she appointed the Prophet Mohammed :saw: to deal with all of the men always for her. Oppressed slave women work for their masters and free women are friends and companions of their husband as housewives.
    That's not what you said before, did you? According to you, Khadijah (RA) was not just a housewives if she was working part time and running a business, was she?

    Also, FYI, Asma (RA) used to work in the field and go outside of the house to gather food. She wasn't just a housewive. Umar (RA) also appointed female guards during his time - they weren't just housewives. Aisha (RA) used to hold classes and teach - so again, no, she wasn't just a housewife. In fact, there have been many female scholars in the past who taught (even taught men) - and they certainly weren't just housewives.

    You seem to have very limited knowledge and are making baseless assumptions about women and Islamic history.

    Leave a comment:


  • ABDEL-AZEEM
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    That's a very illogical and massively generalized post, esp. that bold part.

    First of all, where did you get that mumineen men will not marry a women with a graduate degree? Secondly, there is no guarantee that sisters with an advanced degree will automatically want to work or that their husbands will use them as "money making slaves." Seems like a very outlandish point of view. Thirdly, Khadijah (RA) used to run her own business and earn money, so yeah, she kind of did had a job.
    Throughout most of Islamic history all mumineen men did not marry women with degrees, so yes what I am saying is totally logically. Also most women who get degrees do it in order to get jobs and not for educational purposes and yes their is no guarantee that a person with a degree will have a job. Yes women who work are oppressed money making slaves because they were created by ALLAH AL-AZEEM to be free housewives only.
    First of all Khadijah Umm Mumineen managed her business inheritance that she had inherited from her father who had founded the business that she had inherited and she do not have a job at all were she had a boss and she only did it part time and she appointed her uncle to deal with all of the men always for her and later on she appointed the Prophet Mohammed :saw: to deal with all of the men always for her. Oppressed slave women work for their masters and free women are friends and companions of their husband as housewives.
    Last edited by ABDEL-AZEEM; 01-04-17, 07:55 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    That puts you around 24 or 25, correct? That's not so bad.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is it a bad idea to start looking to marry after grad school?

    Originally posted by ABDEL-AZEEM View Post
    The mumineen men who have graduate degrees or bachelor degrees or no degrees will not marry a woman who has a graduate degree because the mumineen men are looking for a woman who is going to be his future housewife only and not a working woman at all and women with degrees tend to want to have a job even though they deny it. The only men who marry a woman who has a graduate degree are ones who want to use their wife as a money making slave for the rest of her working career and this is haraam and evil. ALLAH AL-AZEEM created Eve to be the companion and wife of Prophet Adam and not to be a working woman at all. Unless a woman is totally/completely destitute she should never ever work in'shaa'ALLAH. All of the wives of the Prophet Mohammed :saw: who are the mothers of mumineen never ever had jobs, they own property but did not have jobs at all.

    :salams Sister qed
    That's a very illogical and massively generalized post, esp. that bold part.

    First of all, where did you get that mumineen men will not marry a women with a graduate degree? Secondly, there is no guarantee that sisters with an advanced degree will automatically want to work or that their husbands will use them as "money making slaves." Seems like a very outlandish point of view. Thirdly, Khadijah (RA) used to run her own business and earn money, so yeah, she kind of did had a job.

    Leave a comment:

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