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Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

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  • #61
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    I feel like a burden...
    Why? U are a blessing
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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    • #62
      Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

      Originally posted by shay5 View Post
      I feel like a burden...
      only because parents worry and they don't want to leave behind a single daughter, they want to fulfil their duties and see them married off

      every parent wants to succeed in this and they feel stressed too, so in return it can make us feel like a burden because we feel guilty that this whole process is difficult enough as it is and on top of that our parents are panicking

      no one likes to see their parents unhappy unless they're an evil child
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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      • #63
        Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
        There seems to be misconceptions about single women not having any responsibilities.

        If anything, they have more at times due to looking after elderly parents as well as siblings, financial responsibilities, and on top of all that, other homework such as general studies, house work and self progression.
        I was gonna make the same point, but then I realized this really only applies (the leisure time) to other sisters. From my personal experience, such sisters tend to be the youngest (and naturally the most spoiled - this applies to brothers too) and the eldest sibling is the next one to handle responsibilities after their parents so the youngest never really feel the pressure. Of course, that's not to say they don't have regular responsibilities like homework and chores and such but of course, such responsibilities don't match up to marriage so when they do get married, they get a bit of a shock (Especially if she's used to being spoiled by her father).

        Obviously this goes for both genders.

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        • #64
          Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

          Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
          Why? U are a blessing
          :rofl1: get lost, every damn thread!
          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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          • #65
            Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

            From what I have witnessed myself young women are fantastically work shy and do very little at home, the parents and mothers in particular are to blame for this. On the plus side the young men are not much better. It's weird how they struggle to get married when they seem so compatible. They can both get voice activated devices to do everything for them.

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            • #66
              Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

              Originally posted by shay5 View Post
              :rofl1: get lost, every damn thread!
              I actually meant that one
              ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
              "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
              :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

              Comment


              • #67
                Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
                I was gonna make the same point, but then I realized this really only applies (the leisure time) to other sisters. From my personal experience, such sisters tend to be the youngest (and naturally the most spoiled - this applies to brothers too) and the eldest sibling is the next one to handle responsibilities after their parents so the youngest never really feel the pressure. Of course, that's not to say they don't have regular responsibilities like homework and chores and such but of course, such responsibilities don't match up to marriage so when they do get married, they get a bit of a shock (Especially if she's used to being spoiled by her father).

                Obviously this goes for both genders.

                Yep

                None of my sisters are like that and I think my dad appreciates that, we don't want to be princesses, we think it's lame, obviously we girls have a soft spot for our dad (things are tense due to marriage though) and mum is more inclined with the brothers lol but this doesn't bother us as long as they do what is asked of them

                the other misconception is going out whenever or whatever, this is not the case because we seek permission from our dad and we only go out when necessary because we enjoy staying indoors, there's no real need to go out, but sometimes we ask dad if we really want to

                going to the library was as far as I got and on the rare occasion I will force myself to go shopping, this is one of the reasons I had to stop studying because my old man was worried and so was mum and I had to respect their decision, it's left me behind but I got over it after feeling down about it for some time

                as for parties, I like to hold them indoors :rotfl:

                regarding younger siblings, it depends I suppose because we find that as the younger ones we have more to do because the older ones got married when mum was a bit younger but now she is older so she needs that extra help and we have always helped out since a young age, I used to cry to vacuum the house when I was ten, so if I'm at work the other sister will cover me, lol, if she's at work it's my shift

                my sis does more than me though, she's better at it mash Allah

                these are things you wouldn't say to a potential suitor though, there is no need to, if he wants a maid he can hire one
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #68
                  Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                  :salams

                  What changes after marriage?? isn't it like getting a new friend (Though this time a female / male)?

                  It isn't like you will get caged down, not allowed to visit your parents..

                  Allahu alam.
                  La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
                  (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
                  Do not say about Allah but Truth.

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                  • #69
                    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                    a man should get married for the right reasons

                    the girl will do the housework anyway, I hate it when the only reason they want marriage is because they need a maid

                    it's too common and very disturbing, how can I respect a man like that
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                      This place is a prisoner for believers...we are never truly free.... whether you travel from one cage to the next...
                      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        a man should get married for the right reasons

                        the girl will do the housework anyway, I hate it when the only reason they want marriage is because they need a maid

                        it's too common and very disturbing, how can I respect a man like that
                        Modern couples do things 50/50 ...I heard...
                        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                          Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                          Modern couples do things 50/50 ...I heard...
                          you know what, it's not even about the damn house keeping lol

                          it gets tiring to see people saying that single women worry about the cleaning, it's not the end of the world, we all want to live in clean houses not a pigsty

                          i'll do it more than that and even more if I don't get asked to do it, it's more about how he talks to me, how he treats me and what kind of importance he gives me, because at the end of the day i'm the potential mother of his children so if he isn't treating you right before the kids come into the scene, it's not going to be pretty

                          if a man doesn't know how to treat a woman right, he isn't a man, he is worse than a dog

                          the common theme with my search has been them putting alot of emphasis on looking after their extended or their whole family in general and there is a real lack of affection being shown towards me, i'm just a machine that is expected to work outside full time, and indoors full time for all the adults within the family

                          I see this as an unfair expectation

                          with our own families, some will understand and be more merciful but other families will care less about another man's daughter

                          our dads can be more merciful towards us and expect less from us but these potentials they expect the world from you, it's disgraceful sis lol you know I joke a lot about wanting his money, I don't even want his money, but why is it such a difficulty to find a normal, respectable man that actual has respect for his wife's feelings too?

                          they're so emotionless, sod that, gross, I don't want to be with someone that lacks in compassion but shows double standards when it comes to his own family members, where I'm expected to deal with it

                          why shouldn't my feelings count, i'm a human too. I'm no superwoman and I don't wish to be one either

                          urgh

                          lol

                          srry, that's not supposed to be a rant
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                            I would've assumed there are just as many who felt less free in their parent's home.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                              Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                              This place is a prisoner for believers...we are never truly free.... whether you travel from one cage to the next...
                              it would be foolish for a believer to think the world is offering them freedom, it's more like illusions
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                                Originally posted by quark View Post
                                I would've assumed there are just as many who felt less free in their parent's home.
                                nope

                                I was surprised to see people expecting more 'freedom' under their husband's 'throne'
                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

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