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Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

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  • quark
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    nope

    I was surprised to see people expecting more 'freedom' under their husband's 'throne'
    I'm not sure why that is surprising.

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by quark View Post
    I would've assumed there are just as many who felt less free in their parent's home.
    No... I have one major restriction and rightly so.....but other than that I am a caged bird who has a big cage....so I am cool...had I been constricted at home I would have said yes to any of the guys that wanted to marry me...I have never been desperate to leave...but it is time ...rafiki voice etc...you know the drill...

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    you know what, it's not even about the damn house keeping lol

    it gets tiring to see people saying that single women worry about the cleaning, it's not the end of the world, we all want to live in clean houses not a pigsty

    i'll do it more than that and even more if I don't get asked to do it, it's more about how he talks to me, how he treats me and what kind of importance he gives me, because at the end of the day i'm the potential mother of his children so if he isn't treating you right before the kids come into the scene, it's not going to be pretty

    if a man doesn't know how to treat a woman right, he isn't a man, he is worse than a dog

    the common theme with my search has been them putting alot of emphasis on looking after their extended or their whole family in general and there is a real lack of affection being shown towards me, i'm just a machine that is expected to work outside full time, and indoors full time for all the adults within the family

    I see this as an unfair expectation

    with our own families, some will understand and be more merciful but other families will care less about another man's daughter

    our dads can be more merciful towards us and expect less from us but these potentials they expect the world from you, it's disgraceful sis lol you know I joke a lot about wanting his money, I don't even want his money, but why is it such a difficulty to find a normal, respectable man that actual has respect for his wife's feelings too?

    they're so emotionless, sod that, gross, I don't want to be with someone that lacks in compassion but shows double standards when it comes to his own family members, where I'm expected to deal with it

    why shouldn't my feelings count, i'm a human too. I'm no superwoman and I don't wish to be one either

    urgh

    lol

    srry, that's not supposed to be a rant
    I want the best for you...I see your posts and you deserve it....inshallah...

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by quark View Post
    I would've assumed there are just as many who felt less free in their parent's home.
    nope

    I was surprised to see people expecting more 'freedom' under their husband's 'throne'

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    This place is a prisoner for believers...we are never truly free.... whether you travel from one cage to the next...
    it would be foolish for a believer to think the world is offering them freedom, it's more like illusions

    Leave a comment:


  • quark
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    I would've assumed there are just as many who felt less free in their parent's home.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    Modern couples do things 50/50 ...I heard...
    you know what, it's not even about the damn house keeping lol

    it gets tiring to see people saying that single women worry about the cleaning, it's not the end of the world, we all want to live in clean houses not a pigsty

    i'll do it more than that and even more if I don't get asked to do it, it's more about how he talks to me, how he treats me and what kind of importance he gives me, because at the end of the day i'm the potential mother of his children so if he isn't treating you right before the kids come into the scene, it's not going to be pretty

    if a man doesn't know how to treat a woman right, he isn't a man, he is worse than a dog

    the common theme with my search has been them putting alot of emphasis on looking after their extended or their whole family in general and there is a real lack of affection being shown towards me, i'm just a machine that is expected to work outside full time, and indoors full time for all the adults within the family

    I see this as an unfair expectation

    with our own families, some will understand and be more merciful but other families will care less about another man's daughter

    our dads can be more merciful towards us and expect less from us but these potentials they expect the world from you, it's disgraceful sis lol you know I joke a lot about wanting his money, I don't even want his money, but why is it such a difficulty to find a normal, respectable man that actual has respect for his wife's feelings too?

    they're so emotionless, sod that, gross, I don't want to be with someone that lacks in compassion but shows double standards when it comes to his own family members, where I'm expected to deal with it

    why shouldn't my feelings count, i'm a human too. I'm no superwoman and I don't wish to be one either

    urgh

    lol

    srry, that's not supposed to be a rant

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    a man should get married for the right reasons

    the girl will do the housework anyway, I hate it when the only reason they want marriage is because they need a maid

    it's too common and very disturbing, how can I respect a man like that
    Modern couples do things 50/50 ...I heard...

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    This place is a prisoner for believers...we are never truly free.... whether you travel from one cage to the next...

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    a man should get married for the right reasons

    the girl will do the housework anyway, I hate it when the only reason they want marriage is because they need a maid

    it's too common and very disturbing, how can I respect a man like that

    Leave a comment:


  • Serinity
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    :salams

    What changes after marriage?? isn't it like getting a new friend (Though this time a female / male)?

    It isn't like you will get caged down, not allowed to visit your parents..

    Allahu alam.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
    I was gonna make the same point, but then I realized this really only applies (the leisure time) to other sisters. From my personal experience, such sisters tend to be the youngest (and naturally the most spoiled - this applies to brothers too) and the eldest sibling is the next one to handle responsibilities after their parents so the youngest never really feel the pressure. Of course, that's not to say they don't have regular responsibilities like homework and chores and such but of course, such responsibilities don't match up to marriage so when they do get married, they get a bit of a shock (Especially if she's used to being spoiled by her father).

    Obviously this goes for both genders.

    Yep

    None of my sisters are like that and I think my dad appreciates that, we don't want to be princesses, we think it's lame, obviously we girls have a soft spot for our dad (things are tense due to marriage though) and mum is more inclined with the brothers lol but this doesn't bother us as long as they do what is asked of them

    the other misconception is going out whenever or whatever, this is not the case because we seek permission from our dad and we only go out when necessary because we enjoy staying indoors, there's no real need to go out, but sometimes we ask dad if we really want to

    going to the library was as far as I got and on the rare occasion I will force myself to go shopping, this is one of the reasons I had to stop studying because my old man was worried and so was mum and I had to respect their decision, it's left me behind but I got over it after feeling down about it for some time

    as for parties, I like to hold them indoors :rotfl:

    regarding younger siblings, it depends I suppose because we find that as the younger ones we have more to do because the older ones got married when mum was a bit younger but now she is older so she needs that extra help and we have always helped out since a young age, I used to cry to vacuum the house when I was ten, so if I'm at work the other sister will cover me, lol, if she's at work it's my shift

    my sis does more than me though, she's better at it mash Allah

    these are things you wouldn't say to a potential suitor though, there is no need to, if he wants a maid he can hire one

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    :rofl1: get lost, every damn thread!
    I actually meant that one

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    From what I have witnessed myself young women are fantastically work shy and do very little at home, the parents and mothers in particular are to blame for this. On the plus side the young men are not much better. It's weird how they struggle to get married when they seem so compatible. They can both get voice activated devices to do everything for them.

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Why? U are a blessing
    :rofl1: get lost, every damn thread!

    Leave a comment:

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