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Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

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  • Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    :salams:

    I saw this in the Uni thread, and I think this partly true.

    The goal in mind for many sisters for going to Uni is simple...it buys them time 3/4 years of not having to get married and being "free". It's been admitted by several sisters on this forum.
    Ignore the uni part, I disagree with that, and it's not relevant to this thread. But isn't is true that a lot sisters see marriage as being tied down and not having freedom?

    I wonder why this is a common thought? I used to feel this way too when I was younger, based on the experience of people around me.

    I used to think that after marriage, my life will be all duties and responsibilities. I would have no control/choice in what I want to do. I would always be "second"; my husband/children's needs would always come first. (These are what I was taught, and perhaps this is true.)

    What does "freedom" mean to you? Why would marriage prevent you from having it?

  • #2
    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

    (Could apply to brothers, too, I guess. Maybe not to the same extent, but still... Re: your quick question, Br [MENTION=101256]Morose[/MENTION], this a comment in brackets... I think it's the comments that are passing thoughts/most skippable that get the brackets treatment. :] )
    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
    -------------------------------
    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

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    • #3
      Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

      :wswrwb:

      Sisters who think like that are, quite frankly, not mature enough for marriage/responsibilities.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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      • #4
        Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

        Wa alaykum wa Salam

        Wow Subhan'Allah

        Me personally, if you asked me a few years back before I came back to deen, I would of said getting married is being free, going out with your husband late nights and exploring things with your husband and trying new things with him.

        Now I don't even want to be free.. I think maybe because I've seen the world and I've seen how filthy it is.
        I legit want to get married so I can be at home waiting for my husband. And feel protective and secure by him that would be my freedom now.

        Subhan'Allah how someone's views on life can change.

        Alhumdulilah for the na3mi of Islam
        Last edited by Hebz; 06-03-17, 04:24 AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

          Originally posted by Hebz View Post
          Wow Subhan'Allah

          Me personally, if you asked me a few years back before I came back to deen, I would of said getting married is being free, going out with your husband late nights and exploring things with your husband and trying new things with him.

          Now I don't even want to be free.. I think maybe because I've seen the world and I've seen how filthy it is.
          I legit want to get married so I can be at home waiting for my husband. And feel protective and secure by him that would be my freedom now.

          Subhan'Allah how someone's views on life can change.

          Alhumdulilah for the na3mi of Islam
          <3
          Indeed we belong to Allah,
          and indeed to Him we will return.


          Quran 2:156

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          • #6
            Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

            :wswrwb:

            Marriage doesn't need to mean the end of your freedom. Just marry a guy who is not controlling, who is patient and understanding with you and supportive of your dreams and goals.

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            • #7
              Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

              Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
              (Could apply to brothers, too, I guess. Maybe not to the same extent, but still... Re: your quick question, Br @Morose, this a comment in brackets... I think it's the comments that are passing thoughts/most skippable that get the brackets treatment. :] )
              Yes, I've heard brothers said similar things. I don't understand it though. Please explain.

              Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
              :wswrwb:

              Sisters who think like that are, quite frankly, not mature enough for marriage/responsibilities.
              Or perhaps they are mature enough to realize that they aren't ready for marriage.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                Yes, I've heard brothers said similar things. I don't understand it though. Please explain.

                Or perhaps they are mature enough to realize that they aren't ready for marriage.
                True.
                Indeed we belong to Allah,
                and indeed to Him we will return.


                Quran 2:156

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                  Originally posted by Hebz View Post
                  Wa alaykum wa Salam

                  Wow Subhan'Allah

                  Me personally, if you asked me a few years back before I came back to deen, I would of said getting married is being free, going out with your husband late nights and exploring things with your husband and trying new things with him.

                  Now I don't even want to be free.. I think maybe because I've seen the world and I've seen how filthy it is.
                  I legit want to get married so I can be at home waiting for my husband. And feel protective and secure by him that would be my freedom now.

                  Subhan'Allah how someone's views on life can change.

                  Alhumdulilah for the na3mi of Islam

                  Yeah, from what I observed, the liberal Muslims/non-Muslims usually have that carefree attitude towards marriage, cause they don't believe/don't care that a husband has certain rights over his wife.

                  I agree it's amazing how our views on certain things change over the years.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                    Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                    :wswrwb:

                    Marriage doesn't need to mean the end of your freedom. Just marry a guy who is not controlling, who is patient and understanding with you and supportive of your dreams and goals.
                    Is this your personal experience? If yes, then Alhamdulillah.

                    The reason I asked is because it's easy for single sisters to have an idealistic view on marriage, but reality is often not what we expected it to be.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                      Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                      Is this your personal experience? If yes, then Alhamdulillah.

                      The reason I asked is because it's easy for single sisters to have an idealistic view on marriage, but reality is often not what we expected it to be.
                      Single sisters should have a positive view of marriage and married life. Think of it as something to look forward to rather than something that will bring you a lack of freedom. Afterall you do have a choice of who you marry (unless you are being forced, do NOT marry anyone you don't like not matter who is trying to pressure you). If freedom is something that you're worried about, choose someone who will give you the level of freedom that you desire. Ask all the important questions and choose carefully.

                      (Btw, when I say 'you' I'm speaking generally, not to you personally sis)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                        Why even look at your potential with the eyes of a competitor, as a person who prevents freedom and brings limitations? In a good marriage, you have the freedom to be the best version of yourself. It’s a base upon which you can build the rest of your life.
                        A good husband is on your side, has your back, supports you even in those things they themselves aren’t interested in and vice versa. Life is enhanced rather than more stressful with the right spouse....
                        “Mu'min” is more that just a title. It is to have Imaan established in the heart and testified to by the limbs.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                          Nice husband = life if my heart

                          Bad husband = death of my heart
                          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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                          • #14
                            Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                            Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                            :wswrwb:

                            Sisters who think like that are, quite frankly, not mature enough for marriage/responsibilities.
                            True,

                            :jkk:
                            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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                            • #15
                              Re: Sisters: Does Marriage = End of Freedom to You?

                              It can be more of a freedom depending on who you get married to.

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