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No one will marry me....

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  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    OP hasn't replied so not much to say here.

    Leave a comment:


  • ninety1daisies
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by thebench View Post
    So do women. You can't get married just because of your desires. 21 is too young imo.
    I had thought it's better for Muslim guys to get married young because of their desires so they don't lose control and do something they will regret. I think he needs to be able to provide for the girl as well though.

    Leave a comment:


  • thebench
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by Tubah View Post
    Oh my Almight Lord...
    Pff, you cannot understand men. We have desires. Also, most of us live in the West so... I hope you understood,
    So do women. You can't get married just because of your desires. 21 is too young imo.

    Leave a comment:


  • Tubah
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by thebench View Post
    Did you rush into the marriage? OP, same question to you and also OP, you're 21 - not 41. Take a chill pill. You've got plenty of time to get married. You can't rush or force these things. Yes, you can actively look for marriage but you have to remember that it might not even be in your qadr to get married and that there is more to life than marriage.
    Oh my Almight Lord...
    Pff, you cannot understand men. We have desires. Also, most of us live in the West so... I hope you understood,

    Leave a comment:


  • Mountainbiker
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    how are you going to take care of your wife financially?

    Leave a comment:


  • Abd al-Rahman
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
    Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help
    :wswrwb:

    I don't know what ethnicity you are, but have you considered looking in your hime country for a wife? I think you will find many good muslim girls there insha'Allah.

    May Allah ease your heart and give you a wife from the salihat

    Other thing is, women are very very changeable, so, as others said, dont give khula bc she asks you one day. If she is very very unhappy and it continues for a long time and there is nothing you can do, then consider it. But dont consent to a divorce for trivial or petty things and talk to a sheikh you trust about your issues before you take any drastic steps

    Edit2: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimNoFap/ Cut it out my bro, its really bad and I fear that many of us are incurring Allah's anger through this. As you continue in a sin, it becomes much bigger.
    Last edited by Abd al-Rahman; 11-03-17, 12:05 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by thebench View Post
    Did you rush into the marriage? OP, same question to you and also OP, you're 21 - not 41. Take a chill pill. You've got plenty of time to get married. You can't rush or force these things. Yes, you can actively look for marriage but you have to remember that it might not even be in your qadr to get married and that there is more to life than marriage.
    Possibly

    Leave a comment:


  • thebench
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by aynina View Post
    Aw brother dont despair youre still young you will get married soon enough
    My ex also divorced me after a couple of months for no reason lolll
    Did you rush into the marriage? OP, same question to you and also OP, you're 21 - not 41. Take a chill pill. You've got plenty of time to get married. You can't rush or force these things. Yes, you can actively look for marriage but you have to remember that it might not even be in your qadr to get married and that there is more to life than marriage.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nomadicforumer
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
    Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help
    Women can't divorce men. You let her go too easy.

    Leave a comment:


  • malleat1
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    :rofl1: i wish i had 0.0001 of ur desire to get married!! I would've been a grandma by now :rofl1:

    21 and you're complaining!! You stilk have yearssss ahead to write that title!! Anyway... the moment u r qualified to sponser a house, they'll grab you like there's no tomorrow... focus on making urself "marketable" lol

    Leave a comment:


  • snow_flakes
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Next time you choose a proposal for consideration ...do istikhara.And dont give divorce as such on small issues until you feel you two cant get along togather...cz women are used to asking divorce every now and then,..you should ve restrained and figured out before going for it finally.Pray regularly ..it ll help.

    Leave a comment:


  • deen1984
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    I agree 21 is young. you have to look at other things like having a stable job. if your still studying, then your just dreaming.

    Leave a comment:


  • neelu
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    walaykum salam,

    This problem affects most people. Even if you see a typical 27 year old who is happily married and settled with a baby on the way, the chances are it probably took him years to find the right woman, his path was probably filled with the same obstacles and frustrations as yours and going by the statistics, there's a good chance he had a divorce before he found "the one" as well. This isn't just you, it's a very widespread problem. It isn't a valid excuse for turning to porn or other sins.

    We are told in the Quran that we will be tested in this life in various ways. Some are tested by hunger, some by wealth, some by loss (in your case loss of your marriage) and so on. These tests are all a part of this life. Seek satisfaction in the next life and inshaAllah Allah (swt) will provide for this one when the time is right. Trust that He (swt) knows better than you as to when the time for the next wife is right- that's when you know you have tawakkul.

    Leave a comment:


  • uccello verde
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    :wswrwb:

    Keep company of practicing brothers.
    Attend halaqas, Islamic events, study circles
    Go Jummah
    Pray sunnah prayers
    Learn more about deen, Arabic
    Memorize Quran with Tajweed
    Help your parents, family and friends
    Do volunteer work for masjid/islamic charity
    Keep your self busy with halal things
    Exercise
    Make lots and lots of dua

    have a positive thoughts about Allah SWT

    Make best of use your free time, when you are married, you will have lots of responsibilities to fulfill and less time to seek knowledge and exercise.
    People do get married young and old,rich and poor, they all get married with Allah SWT perfect timing. We don't know what is best for us, but Allah SWT knows.

    I Can't Find A Spouse (Eng Subs) | Shaykh Muhammad Mukhtar Ash Shinqitee
    https://youtu.be/fsLU0G9CpWI

    May Allah SWT give you spouse who is coolness of your eyes in this life and next, Ameen.

    Leave a comment:


  • Eorlingas
    replied
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Move to a dirt poor country... People there seem to get married so someone should also be willing to marry you. Otherwise you will have to play the game and get some $$$ if you want to get married in Canada.

    Leave a comment:

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