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  • #16
    Re: No one will marry me....

    walaykum salam,

    This problem affects most people. Even if you see a typical 27 year old who is happily married and settled with a baby on the way, the chances are it probably took him years to find the right woman, his path was probably filled with the same obstacles and frustrations as yours and going by the statistics, there's a good chance he had a divorce before he found "the one" as well. This isn't just you, it's a very widespread problem. It isn't a valid excuse for turning to porn or other sins.

    We are told in the Quran that we will be tested in this life in various ways. Some are tested by hunger, some by wealth, some by loss (in your case loss of your marriage) and so on. These tests are all a part of this life. Seek satisfaction in the next life and inshaAllah Allah (swt) will provide for this one when the time is right. Trust that He (swt) knows better than you as to when the time for the next wife is right- that's when you know you have tawakkul.
    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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    • #17
      Re: No one will marry me....

      I agree 21 is young. you have to look at other things like having a stable job. if your still studying, then your just dreaming.
      Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children...

      -Quran (57:20)

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      • #18
        Re: No one will marry me....

        Next time you choose a proposal for consideration ...do istikhara.And dont give divorce as such on small issues until you feel you two cant get along togather...cz women are used to asking divorce every now and then,..you should ve restrained and figured out before going for it finally.Pray regularly ..it ll help.
        ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

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        • #19
          Re: No one will marry me....

          :rofl1: i wish i had 0.0001 of ur desire to get married!! I would've been a grandma by now :rofl1:

          21 and you're complaining!! You stilk have yearssss ahead to write that title!! Anyway... the moment u r qualified to sponser a house, they'll grab you like there's no tomorrow... focus on making urself "marketable" lol
          *
          *
          * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

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          • #20
            Re: No one will marry me....

            Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
            Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help
            Women can't divorce men. You let her go too easy.
            Knower of human deficiency

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            • #21
              Re: No one will marry me....

              Originally posted by aynina View Post
              Aw brother dont despair youre still young you will get married soon enough
              My ex also divorced me after a couple of months for no reason lolll
              Did you rush into the marriage? OP, same question to you and also OP, you're 21 - not 41. Take a chill pill. You've got plenty of time to get married. You can't rush or force these things. Yes, you can actively look for marriage but you have to remember that it might not even be in your qadr to get married and that there is more to life than marriage.

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              • #22
                Re: No one will marry me....

                Originally posted by thebench View Post
                Did you rush into the marriage? OP, same question to you and also OP, you're 21 - not 41. Take a chill pill. You've got plenty of time to get married. You can't rush or force these things. Yes, you can actively look for marriage but you have to remember that it might not even be in your qadr to get married and that there is more to life than marriage.
                Possibly
                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                • #23
                  Re: No one will marry me....

                  Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
                  Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help
                  :wswrwb:

                  I don't know what ethnicity you are, but have you considered looking in your hime country for a wife? I think you will find many good muslim girls there insha'Allah.

                  May Allah ease your heart and give you a wife from the salihat

                  Other thing is, women are very very changeable, so, as others said, dont give khula bc she asks you one day. If she is very very unhappy and it continues for a long time and there is nothing you can do, then consider it. But dont consent to a divorce for trivial or petty things and talk to a sheikh you trust about your issues before you take any drastic steps

                  Edit2: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimNoFap/ Cut it out my bro, its really bad and I fear that many of us are incurring Allah's anger through this. As you continue in a sin, it becomes much bigger.
                  Last edited by Abd al-Rahman; 11-03-17, 12:05 PM.
                  وَمَا قَدَرُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ قَدْرِهِ وَالْأَرْضُ جَمِيعًا قَبْضَتُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَالسَّمَاوَاتُ مَطْوِيَّاتٌ بِيَمِينِهِ ۚ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ عَمَّا يُشْرِكُونَ
                  They have not appraised Allah with true appraisal, while the earth entirely will be [within] His grip on the Day of Resurrection, and the heavens will be folded in His right hand. Exalted is He and high above what they associate with Him. (Az-Zumar: 67)

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                  • #24
                    Re: No one will marry me....

                    how are you going to take care of your wife financially?

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                    • #25
                      Re: No one will marry me....

                      Originally posted by thebench View Post
                      Did you rush into the marriage? OP, same question to you and also OP, you're 21 - not 41. Take a chill pill. You've got plenty of time to get married. You can't rush or force these things. Yes, you can actively look for marriage but you have to remember that it might not even be in your qadr to get married and that there is more to life than marriage.
                      Oh my Almight Lord...
                      Pff, you cannot understand men. We have desires. Also, most of us live in the West so... I hope you understood,

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                      • #26
                        Re: No one will marry me....

                        Originally posted by Tubah View Post
                        Oh my Almight Lord...
                        Pff, you cannot understand men. We have desires. Also, most of us live in the West so... I hope you understood,
                        So do women. You can't get married just because of your desires. 21 is too young imo.

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                        • #27
                          Re: No one will marry me....

                          Originally posted by thebench View Post
                          So do women. You can't get married just because of your desires. 21 is too young imo.
                          I had thought it's better for Muslim guys to get married young because of their desires so they don't lose control and do something they will regret. I think he needs to be able to provide for the girl as well though.
                          Indeed we belong to Allah,
                          and indeed to Him we will return.


                          Quran 2:156

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                          • #28
                            Re: No one will marry me....

                            OP hasn't replied so not much to say here.

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