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  • No one will marry me....

    Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help

  • #2
    Re: No one will marry me....

    Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
    Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help


    Divorced for no reason?
    Last edited by sajid; 05-03-17, 03:49 PM.

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    • #3
      No one will marry me....

      [MENTION=3]sajid[/MENTION] awwww! Congratulation my little brother!!!
      “Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live, and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming.” Quran 45:23-24

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      • #4
        Re: No one will marry me....

        Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
        Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help
        Did you have Nikah with that sister and no official marriage ? Is that what you mean. Then so answer me why did she leave you and how is it even possible that a woman divorces on her own without Islamic Khula ?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: No one will marry me....

          Originally posted by savo234 View Post
          Did you have Nikah with that sister and no official marriage ? Is that what you mean. Then so answer me why did she leave you and how is it even possible that a woman divorces on her own without Islamic Khula ?
          My assumption is that she must have requested divorce and the brother must have willingly said yes (so technically it is khul'?)

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          • #6
            Re: No one will marry me....

            Aw brother dont despair youre still young you will get married soon enough
            My ex also divorced me after a couple of months for no reason lolll
            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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            • #7
              Re: No one will marry me....

              You said it yourself in the first two sentences, "I want to stop committing sins and watching porn...". Porn/masturbation are pretty big sins brother and that's not to mention the disease that comes with them (physiological and diseases in our hearts). Perhaps your patience could increase if you can completely stop it altogether (fitnah will be there but not as severe).

              And when you say "I tried fasting, tahajudd, reading Quran" you don't just try it and stop and say "it's not working". See all these things (especially reading Quran, it should be daily or as frequently as possible even if it's just a page or just an ayah), are so you are closer to Allah ta'ala, and when you get closer to Allah ta'ala, you begin to fear him more and really feel his might. So next time you think about watching dirty things, your fear of Allah ta'ala alone will make you stop. It's not a "snap my fingers and it's there", you need to observe patience.

              Many of us struggle with many other situations and these are all tests (not invalidating your problems by the way, but relating). How do you know Allah ta'ala isn't PROTECTING you from a malicious sister? From a sister that wants to ruin your life? YOU don't know but Allah does! And everything comes within its time, you need to have full faith in Allah on this. No matter what you do, NOTHING happens without the will of Allah ta'ala.

              Keep seeking but more importantly, you can't wait on someone else to increase your iman, you need to work on your relationship with Allah. YOU must exert the effort, not your spouse. Your spouse is only there to offer support. And if you don't have that support, guess what? That actually brings you closer to Allah because you realize that when the world is against you, your Lord is with you and when you are struggling he knows what you feel, and when you complain to him, he cares and hears all your cries. So when you depend on Allah for your soul to rest, that is when you truly feel like "marriage completes deen" because you will have those thoughts (coming from your fitrah) and only when you are married can you fully focus your attention on Allah. Marriage should be for the sake of Allah ta'ala.

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              • #8
                Re: No one will marry me....

                Stay of porn and use that energy to develop yourself through mental, physical training and wealth. Gain knowledge in Islam, do you know arabic? Understand wive's obligation to you and your obligation to your wives. More knowledge you have in Islam, better you will know what kind of wife you should be pursuing.

                Know that once you get married you will face another set of challenges, more serious one than before, so try to prepare for that. Are you planning to raise family in Canada or perhaps now that you have that youth of yours, you could try to build something for your future family? Maybe move to somewhere else perhaps?

                If you feel muslim women aren't good around you, you will probably feel same so later on, but if you have developed yourself enough you will have more ability find one that you accept. Even if you have to wait few years, your ability to get wife you won't go worse but get better. You could become the " older and richer guy" that you feel you have to compete against.

                Maybe it isn't about the age why people are preventing you, but your ability to care and take responsibility and your general attitude to people around makes people not to take seriously of you.

                That feeling you have, it won't go away, but as you age it gets easier. You get better control of yourself. Also having having some fear helps alot.

                It seems to me Allah : given you a lot to work with. So, be a muslim man that you are supposed to be and start working with them. There are a lot of brothers that don't have what you have.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: No one will marry me....

                  Originally posted by Jannah4LIfe View Post
                  Salamu alykum. I am a 21 year old muslim guy living in Canada. I want to get married but I cant seem to find anyone, and no one wants to marry me. i sometimes feel sad and hopeless although I try to have a good opinion about Allah and I try to be patient, but how patient do I have to be? It feels like this is taking forever, I just want to stop committing sins and watching porn but it leaves me frustrated as I have tried everything out there, matrimony sites, my parents, etc. Everyone keeps on rejecting me telling me that I am too young. I got engaged (islamically married on paper) a few months ago but subhanallah the sister divorced me for no reason after everything was going so smoothly and I treated her like a queen, I ended up loosing so much money as a result of this. After this happened, mom feels like I need to wait a few years she feels like I need to prove to her that I am ready but I don't want to wait a few years, I feel like the wold has ran out of good muslim girls and I just feel really hopeless and sad... i have tried fasting, tried tahajud, tried reading Quran, but the problem is inherently there. I need to get married, and no not for sex, but for emotional fulfillment and for someone to help me get closer to Allah swt. You see its so hard for us young men as no one will take us seriously and we have to compete with a lot of older and richer guys to get married and I just feel like this is not fair. I feel so upset as I cry to Allah very so often and I hope that my tears are not just in vein. Feminism is for sure poisoning Muslim women tricking them into believing that it makes them weak if they show vulnerability if they are a good wife/mother etc. Please help
                  Waalaikumussalam,
                  How are we on the how am I gonna support my wife front.

                  Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                  **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                  Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antê” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: No one will marry me....

                    :wswrwb:

                    Aww don't worry. InshaAllah there is someone out there for you. Don't give up.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: No one will marry me....

                      :wswrwb:

                      You need to keep at it. Keep searching, keep praying, and :insha: someone will come along. More importantly, remember Allah said that He will open up ways for those who fear Him, so please repent and stay away from haram. That's the key.
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: No one will marry me....

                        Make dua habeebi, you'll see miracles I guarantee you insha'Allah.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: No one will marry me....

                          hard for you men? are you flipping joking? i'm the SAME AGE AS YOUR MOTHER SON.

                          AND STILL going solo :zzz: enjoy your single life, make the most of it, the youth are at loss, enjoy this free time young man. You won't get it back, these precious moments of bliss are such a blessing, you guys have no clue, you really don't.

                          But we all learn, we will learn.

                          anyway, just keep trying, you know the drill. Talk to some men at the mosque, ask for a hug (that's what you want right?) and keep striving. Plenty of other hormonal kids out there thinking all they need is Jasmine to come to the rescue and fulfil all their desires. It really does not work like that.

                          Don't be sad, I only want the best for you brother and aunty ya'sin doesn't want you to go into marriage thinking it is some emotional support service, it's not :/

                          May Allah make you a righteous guardian for another man's daughter and bless you with a righteous spouse-ameen

                          :salams:
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                          • #14
                            Re: No one will marry me....

                            Move to a dirt poor country... People there seem to get married so someone should also be willing to marry you. Otherwise you will have to play the game and get some $$$ if you want to get married in Canada.
                            Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

                            None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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                            • #15
                              Re: No one will marry me....

                              :wswrwb:

                              Keep company of practicing brothers.
                              Attend halaqas, Islamic events, study circles
                              Go Jummah
                              Pray sunnah prayers
                              Learn more about deen, Arabic
                              Memorize Quran with Tajweed
                              Help your parents, family and friends
                              Do volunteer work for masjid/islamic charity
                              Keep your self busy with halal things
                              Exercise
                              Make lots and lots of dua

                              have a positive thoughts about Allah SWT

                              Make best of use your free time, when you are married, you will have lots of responsibilities to fulfill and less time to seek knowledge and exercise.
                              People do get married young and old,rich and poor, they all get married with Allah SWT perfect timing. We don't know what is best for us, but Allah SWT knows.

                              I Can't Find A Spouse (Eng Subs) | Shaykh Muhammad Mukhtar Ash Shinqitee
                              https://youtu.be/fsLU0G9CpWI

                              May Allah SWT give you spouse who is coolness of your eyes in this life and next, Ameen.

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